Chapter 8: Identity
"Bakit?"
'Yun nalang ang tanging nasabi ko habang tinatahak namin ang mahabang pasilyo ngayob.
Tanging pagtingin lang ang nagawa ng mga estudyante habang pinapanood nila akong hawak ng Captain nila. Their eyes says it all. You can watch, but you can't speak.
Unang beses kong nakita ang espada niya at nagbigay sa'kin 'yon ng kakaibang pakiramdam. Hindi niya pa ginagamit ang element niya kaya wala akong alam sa kung anong element siya. Napatingin nalang ako kay Kei. Sino ba talaga siya?
Bakit niya ginagawa 'to? Bakit dadahilhin niya pa ako sa infirmary? Bakit hindi niya ako pinatay? Ang daming tanog sa isip ko pero ni isa ay wala akong masabi.
Narating namin ang pinakatahimik na pasilyo at sa dulo no'n ay may malaking pinto na nagdala samin sa loob ng infirmary. I think I lost a lot of blood, nahihilo ako.
"Captain," mabilis na niyuko ng nurse ang ulo niya sa pagpasok namin ni Kei.
Kita sa mga mata niya ang pagtataka kung bakit siguro ako kasama ng lalaking 'to. Hindi naman na siya nagtanong at agad akong dinaluhan para gamutin ang sugat ko. Alangan namang hindi niya ako puntahan kung nakikita niyang dumudugo ang leeg ko dito?
"Who did this?" The nurse interrogated. Kinuha niya na ang mga kailangan para gamutin ako.
"I did." Kei shortly answered which made the nurse pursed her lips.
Hindi ako umiwas ng tingin kay Kei kahit ginagamot ang sugat ko. Bahagya akong napangiwi nang maramdaman ang pagdampi ng kung ano sa leeg ko.
"I think we need to stitch this," the nurse said.
"Is it that bad?" Kei asked.
"Yes, one more inch and she could've died."
May nilabas na karayom ang nurse at medyo pinindot pa 'yon kaya nakita ko ang palabas ng likido. Napalunon ako.
"Higa ka muna," mala-anghel na sambit ng nurse kaya sinunod ko naman siya.
I closed my eyes to calm myself. I've seen darker and bloodier than this, so why am I flinching over a tiny-ass needle? I inhaled deeply when I started to feel the needle pricking into my skin.
Konti pa.
Screw the man who did this.
Then, she started stitching my skin. Buti nalang ay binigyan niya ako ng pamanhid. I don't know what they call that medicine since medicines and potions are different, their effects also differentiate depending on the ingredients used.
"It's done, you can now open your eyes."
Nakahinga ako nang maluwag sa sinabi ng nurse. I finally opened my eyes. Inayos niya naman ang mga gamit niya at nginitian ako.
Kei didn't waste any second and dragged me out of the room. He didn't even bother to utter a word.
Nagpahatak nalang din ako dahil may magagawa pa ako? Pakiramdam ko pagod na pagod ang katawan ko kahit wala naman akong ginagawa.
Dinala niya ako sa headquarters nila. Nadatnan namin do'n ang lalaking napabalikwas ng bangon mula sa masarap na pagkakahiga niya sa couch. Siya siguro 'yung may kakambal kung hindi ako nagkakamali. Naisip ko lang dahil noong una ko sila makita.
The guy eyed me with such amusement, "Wow, Captain. Hindi ata ako na-inform na bawal pala ngayon dito."
Alanganin kong tinignan si Kei nang hindi ako makarinig ng salita sa kaniya. He was throwing deadly glares to the other guy. I even saw the guy gulped.
"Wews! Joke lang! Sige take your time, sasabihan ko rin sila na occupied ngayon dito. Magpakasaya kayo jan!" The guy spluttered, rushing out of the room.
I'm now alone.. with this guy.
"I'm not doing this for free and I have no intention to let you go." He talked.
"Are you offering a deal?" Ako na ang nagsabi ng gusto niya.
"Yes." He sat down on the couch, "and once you break our deal.. I won't kill you... but your sister." He gave me a stare that swallowed my soul completely.
He knew.
He knew Alice was my weakness. My heart was heavg. I hate having weaknesses. This is why I don't want to get attached... because one day... I'll wake up without seeing them ever again and it crushes me. It breaks me.
I clenched my fist, hoping it would help me to control my emotions... again. Damn these emotions. Fuck emotions.
Emotions are the most cruel thing ever created.
"What do you want?" Matalim ko siyang tinignan.
"To tell me about plans. You won't be stepping on the enemy's den even after knowing it may cost your life, right?" He paused. "So tell me, Erica Thalia Freas. Who are you? What is it that made you step on your own here?"
Should I say it? How can I even trust him? He's an enemy. The one who almost kill me. I'm not dumb. He's gonna play mind games with me. Either hindi niya naman ako mapipilit na sabihin sa kaniya pero pa'no kung may gawin siya kay Alice?
"Because I wanted to change my life."
"Lie." He straightly said.
"It's the truth."
It really is the truth. I just didn't say why.
"Huwag kang magbabalak na may gawin," aniya. His dark eyes pierced through my soul, "You wouldn't like it."
"I told—"
I was interrupted by a woman's voice. Sabay kaming napatingin sa babaeng kakapasok lang, magkasalubong ang kilay at hatak ang braso niya ng lalaking nakahiga dito kanina, pinipigilan sa pagpasok,
"Ano ba, Miko?!" Inis na sabi niya sa lalaking hawak ang braso niya bago ito bawiin at napatingin din sa'kin.
"Scarlette," para umamo bigla ang mukha ni Kei nang makita ang babae.
"Sino siya?" Tanong ng babaeng tinawag na Scarlette. Siya ang Vice-captain sa sabi ni Blaze. Halata naman sa presensya niya na malakas siya at hindi dapat hamunin.
Pero kung ikukumpara sa Captain nila.. halos wala pa sila sa kalahati nito.
"She's.." hindi alam ni Kei ang sasabihin.
"I'm a big fan of Bloodunit. Kinausap ko lang si Captain dahil gusto ko siya," masayang wika ko at pineke ang ngiti.
"That's right." Kei stood up and joined my side. "She wanted to give me chocolates and I was about to send her away."
This man.. is explaining himself? Does she like Scarlette? The way his cold eyes were immediately replaced by warm with the sight of Scarlette... it was like Scarlette was someone Kei treasures dearly.
Parang gustong matawa nung Miko nang marinig ang ekplenasyon ni Kei.
"Kay Boss Scarlette lang pala titiklop," rinig kong sabi ni Miko at pinipigilan ang tawa.
"It's the second time I've seen her here. The first time, you brought her and now you're saying she wanted to give you chocolates? And since when did you start entertaining girls?" Scarlette girl sounded jealous. Were they in that kind of relationship?
Malay ko bang mayroon pala siyang girlfriend. Kei's grumpiness was out of the world. I can't believe he would actually get himself a girlfriend.
"Ohh, LQ with third party," pumasok na rin ang isa pang babae na kamukha ni Miko. Mukhang siya si Mika at 'yung Niccolo ang nakasalamin. Kumpleto na sila.
"Sorry na, Captain. Sinubukan ko naman silang pigilan pero mas naintriga sila pumunta dito," kamot-ulong rason ni Miko.
"We'll talk after." Huling sabi ni Kei kay Scarlette bago ako hatakin palabas. Hindi ko na alam kung sa'n niya ulit ako dadalhin. Parang hindi na tuloy ako nalalakihan sa eskwelahan na ito dahil kahit sa'n magpunta may tao.
"Look." He let go of my arm. "Once you cause a ruckus. I'll never let go of it. Never."
He turned his back and walked away. Bibigay na ata ang mga tuhod ko pero buti nalang ay may pader para umalalay sa'kin.
"Are you alright?"
Why can't my day just end quickly?!
Just when I thought I'll be able to be alone now, Cale appeared as my aid. I saw his questioning eyes when his eyes caught the wound on my neck.
"Okay lang ako."
"Sure ka?" Pagtatanong niya ulit.
"Yes," I said.
He still supported me without touching my arms. Nakaalalay lang ang kamay niya na handang sumalo sa oras na bumagsak ako. Good thing there weren't many people around here.
"Maybe you should skip classes tomorrow. You're pale," Cale suggested. Sinundan niya lang ako kahit hindi niya alam kung sa'n kami pupunta.
"I can manage."
Habang tinatahak namin ang pasilyo, napatingin si Cale sa labas. Inalis niya na rin ang kamay na nakasuporta sa'kin nang makitang nakakapaglakad na ako ng maayos. Nakakasilaw ang sinag na nagmumula sa araw.
"Winter is approaching soon. Do you have any plans on celebrating Thanksgiving Day?" Cale smiled at me.
I looked away, not sure what to answer, "I don't really have one. Maybe I'll stay here?"
"Bakit naman? Hindi ka uuwi sa inyo?"
I smiled bitterly. Hindi ako sumagot.
"Edi samahan nalang kita sa Winter break," biglang sabi niya.
Nanlaki ang mata ko. Sasamahan niya ako? Hindi ba siya uuwi sa pamilya niya rin?
"Kahit mga two days 'di ba? Para naman may kasama ka. Wala lang, ayoko kasing may taong nagcecelebrate ng Thanksgiving mag-isa." Hinarap niya ako.
"Hindi ka uuwi sa inyo?"
"Uuwi pero sa pasko sasamahan kita. Ayokong malungkot ang pasko mo," he laughed.
Even if it was a joke or what, I took it deeply into my heart. I felt so lonely as I wait for every winter to pass by. At the same time, kapag nakita kong sumasaya ang sarili ko pakiramdam ko wala akong karapatan para maramdaman ang emosyon na 'yon.
Maybe that's why I don't celebrate it.
I think Cale is a kind person at wala pa naman akong masamang intensyon nararamdaman galing sa kaniya.
Nakarating kami sa Girl's dormitory pero hanggang sa entrance lang si Cale kasi pinagtitinginan na agad siya ng ibang babae dito.
"Salamat," sabi ko.
"Ang putla mo. Pahinga kang mabuti," paalala niya.
He walked away and even waved his hand so I also gave him a minimal wave since I'm feeling embarass to wave in front of others.
Truth be told, my body is getting heavier. I wasn't sure if it was because of my wound but hopefully, my condition will improve after a good night sleep.
When I came into our room, Blaze was nowhere to be found or she's probably inside her room. It wasn't my business anyways.
Tamad akong pumunta sa kwarto ko at kaagad nagbihis. I don't have the appetite to eat. Gusto ko nalang matulog agad.
Nahiga ako at tumitig sa kisame.
What am I supposed to do next?
Wala na. Ako ata 'yung tangang pumunta dito nang walang kaplano-plano at parang willing lang na magpakamatay.
Now, Alice is also here. Hindi lang sarili ko ngayon ang babantayan ko. Nagtitiwala naman ako sa kakayahan ni Alice pero... hindi ko maalis ang pangambang nararamdaman ko.
Alice came from Tenebrae. She was trained to kill since she was child, witnessing the bloody reality of this world. Despite of having a frail body, it didn't stop her to train so hard. She won't kill anyone if she doesn't have the reason to do so.
Yet, she just wanted to help me but I lashed out.
Nilagay ko ang braso ko para takpan ang mga mata. Siguro, napakasama kong tao sa dating kong buhay. I sighed. I let my thoughts wander as I fall asleep.
Time went fast and we did well on our last mission which is to submit a report about the Poison Flower. It wasn't difficult but it was time consuming. Aqua provided the flower like he said.
I notice that Blaze and Aqaua seemed to be avoiding each other. Kapag nandito sa Aqua sa headquarters, aalis si Blaze at sasabihin pupunta siya library. Gano'n din si Aqua kapag si Blaze ang nauna rito.
Blaze and Aqua are almost in the same age, even though Blaze is a year older than Aqua, she's going to be an adult this coming winter.
Si Aqua naman.. hindi ko alam ang birthday niya. Si Rai at Blaze lang kasi ang nakakausap ko.
Seconds, minutes, hours, every day was fast. Pakiramdam ko nakikipaglaban ako sa oras. I woke up without knowing that it was almost my third week here. Nagfocus lang kami sa mga classes ngayon dahil walang mission. Tahimik ngayon ang mundo namin.
Although, nagbibigay ang Headmistress ng mission for physical training at physical combat.
Kahit si Kei ay hindi ko nakikita kaya kahit papaano ay nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Nag-uusap naman na si Aqua at Blaze pero madalang. Napapansin na rin 'yon ni Rai pero hindi nalang siya nagsalita.
"Ano kayang nangyari?" Panimula ni Rai habang papunta kami ng History Class.
"Saan?"
"Kay Blaze at Aqua. Parang magka-away 'no? I mean, kaaway naman lahat ni Blaze pero parang iba 'yung ngayon. 'Yung tulad ng tinatawag nilang 'lovers' quarrel'" Umakto pa siyang kunwari ay sumulat sa hangin ang huling salitang sinabi niya.
Akala ko si Rai at Blaze ang aso at pusa dahil madalas na sila ang magkasama.
"Instructor Alicia!" Hinabol ni Rai ang babaeng nakatalikod sa'min, may mga dalang folders at naka-suot ng uniform ng mga instructor.
Naiwan ako at nakita ko silang mag-usap. Tumatawa-tawa pa si Alicia at saglit na napatingin sa'kin bago kay Rai. Yumuko naman si Rai at hinintay na makalayo si Alice.
Hindi pa rin kami nagkaka-usap ni Alice.
Wala ring ganap sa libro.
Normal na normal ang buhay ko nitong nagdaang mga linggo and it's starting to make me anxious.
Bumalik si Rai sa tabi ko na may nakapaskil na ngiti sa labi.
"Ang gan–"
He was interrupted by the long bell. Tumunog din ang speaker sa school at may nagsalita.
"Attention everyone! Please proceed to the Briefing Hall for the Opening Ceremony of this year's Academy Duel. All student must be present at the hall within 5 minutes. Thank you."
Parehas kaming napatigil ni Rai at nagkatinginan.
"Walang klase! Yes naman!" Tuwang-tuwang wika niya at nagsususuntok pa sa hangin.
Nang makaget-over na siya sa pagiging masaya niya, kinausap niya ako. "Baka 'di mo pa alam kung bakit tayo pinapapunta sa hall pero may Opening Ceremony bago mastart ang Academy Duel. Bibigyan nila tayo ng isang linggo para sa training at sa first week ng October na ang start ng Acamdey Duel."
Sabay kaming naglakad ni Rai papunta sa hall kung saan nagtitipin na ang iba pang mga estudyante. Namataan ko si Cale na nakapila sa linya ng mga A-rank at kinawayan niya ako. Nginitian ko naman siya pabalik.
"Ayun na si Blaze!" turo ni Rai sa babaeng taas na taas ang kamay para kumaway.
"Si Aqua?" Tanong ko nang 'di ko siya makita.
Blaze shrugged before putting a small smile on her face. Umayos na kami sa pila. Hinahanap pa rin ng mata ko si Aqua pero hindi ko siya makita.
I slightly flinched when I heard the sound of roaring trumphets. Nagulat ako. Hudyat pala 'yon sa pagpasok ng mga kung sino.
The large double-door behind us opened which caused the crowd to part in two groups, creating a path. The torches hanging on the wall lit one by one as if I was in a movie.
Our eyes darted on the people who entered the hall, their every foosteps echoed. Their presence were that strong that it made me stopped breathing for a moment. Parang masamang pagsamahin ang mga katulad nila. Their stance says it all. They are on another level.
Aqua, Bloodunit, and the Headmistress.
Aqua stood on the stage, holding a trophy in his hand as Bloodunit joins him on the stage. The Headmistress was the last one to walk on the platform.
Narinig ko ang sunod na pagsinghapan ng mga tao sa loob dahil sa presensya ng mga taong nakatayo sa harap. It was like we're facing monsters. No one dared to smile nor to speak. It felt like our movements are being watched.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Aqua Synivia, S-rank, 2-Year holder of the Duel Cup, I ofically announce the start of the Academy Duel. Raise your swords, Gladiators." He raised the trophy with his two hands as the torches altered from yellow to blue, a sign of the Academy Duel's start.
Everyone clapped their hands. Gano'n na rin ang ginawa ko. May mga sumisigaw pa pero sinasaway ng ibang instructor.
Ang daming kayang gawin ni Aqua, natatakot ako na maging harang sila para sa'kin. Ayoko pa namang mandamay ng iba.
Amidst the crowd, my eyes searched for Kei. He was there, standing in front with arms-crossed and annoyed look. Even so, I just found ourselves staring at each other.
Ngayon ko nalang ulit siya nakita matapos ang nangyari. After a few days? Weeks? I don't know.
He gave me a smirk before my attention went to the Headmistress. She was announcing something but I didn't seem to understand the first words since I was distracted by Kei.
"And the prize for this year..." The Headmistress paused, "A position to join the Bloodunit."