I am sitting at the bench outside my department, with my hand covering my face. Highly disappointed by how my day went. Firstly, I overslept, no, not because I had a good sleep. Sadly, I couldn't sleep a wink, I really tried but I couldn't. We can say that I was home sick. I missed sleeping with my siblings, even if Bonolo was an expert at martial arts when sleeping. Not forgetting Neo who made weird sounds when asleep. However, I was used to that and I loved them, isn't it all that mattered? Despite of the thickness of the blanket, I still couldn't feel that kind of warmth.
By the time I was finally catching sleep there was this girl who was playing gospel music out loud. No offense neh, I love gospel music but come on did she have to play it so loud? The music was loud enough to convince you that it was playing in the same room. I was about to confront whoever that was making noise but then I heard the security guard reprimanding the lady and she switched off the music completely. After that saga, then I heard a car hooter, I went to check out what was happening. Only to find that there was an older guy picking one of the ladies from our res. I was mostly annoyed by her loudness.
*Duh we can see that you are into blessers. Now what's the necessity of you making noise? Your blesser has already made enough noise as it is…No need to go any further than that. Besides, doesn't he know these are the 20th centuries? There is something called texting and calling.*
Finally, after the grand show-off they left and just as I was about to sleep there was yet another noise. There were two people talking; however, one voice was familiar. I went to the window to see if I could see who these people are. It was Matthew and this other white girl. They looked cosy, must probably be his girlfriend. I couldn't hear what they were saying but whatever it is must be about love, because the girl couldn't stop laughing. If this was Matthew's girlfriend then he's the luckiest man alive. The lady was beautiful and sexy too. I was a bit far from them, but I could spot her beauty from the distance.
If I didn't know better, I would say she was a supermodel. I would be able to see her face properly if it weren't at night. I wonder how these people are allowed to roam around at night while we are sleeping, now I can't even sleep. After few minutes, to be exact in about 30 minutes. I heard Matthew's voice walking past the passage…It's like now I am gossiping, and I am not. My room is placed where I see and hear everything taking place around, from outside and in our floor. Now I am bound to hear and see everything-not that I am complaining, they are the ones disturbing me.
Wait a minute, why does it sound like Matt went to Sindi's room. Okay you can call me a gossiper but come on…30 minutes ago Matt was with that hot white girl and now he is laughing with Sindi…From that day I saw their encounter, they were about to devour each other right before me. Maybe that white girl meant nothing to him, who knows? Since there was silence again I went back to sleep. The minute I dosed off I had a nightmare.
In that nightmare I was wearing that girl's clothes pampering myself with make-up, expensive cologne whilst sipping wine. I had a lace weave, the ones I used to see on TV. Someone told me that one of these costs around R5000 upwards. There was a car hooting whilst taking a few sips and I checked through my window it was an older guy and calling me up. Then I jumped taking my bag and went outside quickly. That guy shouted me for taking a time to respond even though I came as quickly as possible. I tried explaining myself to him then he started hitting me. Though it was a dream, I could feel the pain like it was real…then I woke up.
The alarm rang in just a perfect time, yet I had this headache from not sleeping enough. I only slept for 2 hours-thanks to all the drama that was going on at my res. However, I decided that I will just have to sleep when I come back from class. After stretching my hands, I made my bed, cleaned my room before heading to the shower. When I arrived there, I found a que of ladies waiting to take a shower. It was about 4 ladies who were standing. So, I also joined in the que just like them.
We have 2 showers only, the other 2 were out of service. I overheard one of the ladies in the que saying that those 2 showers have never worked, and no one bothered to fix them. This was absurd, I mean all of us have early classes and now we had to be delayed with only 2 showers and time was not on our side. I wanted to leave and come back once they were all done, but the lady before me advised me not to. She said if I leave now the line will be double. She was right, because a few minutes later, there was another group of 6 that joined afterwards.
Just when I thought that I was now going to be next, the two ladies who were bathing were very slow. They both took almost 50 minutes in the shower. Now I was already late. I had set an alarm to wake me up an hour before class starts knowing that wasn't going to struggle with showring, guess I was wrong. I was folding my arms and tapping my feet impatiently trying not to panic that it's my first day and I was late. Some ladies in the que were complaining, I mean they have only been here for like 10 minutes and it's like they have been waiting for ages.
Finally, one of them came out and I hopped into the shower and guess what, the water was going colder the longer I stood there. So, I decided to shower quickly before the water became cold and stepped out of the shower. It was very uncomfortable to walk half-naked in front of strangers, but there was no time. I had to get to class as soon as possible. There were still nasty stares from some of the ladies who were in the que, but there was no time for me to be worried about that, I was late. When I arrived at my room, I quickly changed, grabbed my schoolbag and off I went to the department.
Due to me having to guard my siblings on the day, because my mom was at work and couldn't miss it, I didn't go to Orientation day. I had no idea where my class was, who's the lecturer, or even the module I was going to attend. Basically, I was clueless about everything. There was no other way than to be brave and ask the securities by the reception.
"Dumelang (greetings)," I said to both of the securities.
"Yebo mchana (Yes nephew)," said one of them with a warm smile.
"I am lost, I am looking for a class that starts at 8, for the civil engineering course," I said.
"Oh…so you are first year am I right?" he asked calmly.
Duh…of course I am first year, why on earth would I be asking if I was a senior?
"Yes, I am doing my first year," I responded.
"It's in room 110, take a lift right there and then press floor 7 then you will see it," he said.
"Thank you so much…" I said rushing to the lift which was also taking it's time to be on ground floor.
I hopped on the lift with several people and the lift kept on stopping to drop people on each floor and some hopping on it. Finally, I reached the 7th floor and then I started looking for the room. The pressure I felt for arriving late was increasing as now I had to enter in front of people who I don't know and worse, I was 30 minutes late. I took a deep breath before entering the room and when I opened, the door was right in front, next to the lecture. I saw a large number of people, with different races. The class was dominated by every race accept from people my race.
When I stepped in there was a loud beeping sound. I was surprised when the whole lecture room laughed at me. Some of them looked at me with pitiful eyes though.
"Where do you think you are going little girl?" asked Professor Lombard.
"S-sir I am sorry I am late, I got lost and I…" I said then trailed off when he raised his hand at me.
"Does becoming late also make you to forget that you need to tap your student card to sign your attendance register. What were you listening during the Orientation period?" he asked.
"Sir I…" I said before being cut off.
"Save it! You arrived in the lecture 40 minutes late. Now that you are here you disrupt the entire lecture room. Just go tap and open your textbook to page 15," he said.
Then I went to tap by the door, then I took a sit. In my entire life I have never felt so embarrassed. Though I didn't spend much time with this professor, but there was one thing I have picked up, he is racist. Yes, I admit I arrived late, very late to be exact, but why were other students came after me. This other blonde girl arrived wearing a T-shirt only and sneakers. The professor was just staring at her legs and smiled slightly. Ugh men…However, it was not about what she was wearing, it was the tone in which the professor used when taking to her.
No man, the tones were different. When he was talking to me he was furious, and I could tell that the anger went beyond my late arrival. I think they will never say straight to your face that they hate you. However, what they say will sound spiteful and the tone will deprive you of your power. That's the sad part about racism. Mrs Thompson was a nice person, but I never felt uneasy with her helping me and being supportive. Call me crazy or whatever, but her gestures never felt genuine. It's like she did those things to either convince herself and everyone else that she wasn't racist.
I don't know, something didn't feel right with her gestures and the way she said it. It was just like the way the professor was talking to me like he was doing me a favour. Just as much as every other people who were in the lecture room, I also deserved to be there, I worked hard. It was already difficult being a woman in a male dominated industry, coming from a disadvantaged background and now I had to prove myself that I was worthy to be in a class that I have already got admitted ins. It's like I am fighting for something in my hands like I still need to achieve it, to get approval from people, due to my skin colour.
Race was not the only problem I faced in that class; I also didn't have the textbook that they were talking about. First of all, I didn't even know which module this was and what it was about since I arrived late. When other students where turning their pages, I was writing down my notes like a crazy person. To top it off, Professor Lombard was rambling, I didn't hear a thing that he said. The class dragged for long hours. It ended at around 4, can you imagine? A class that starts at 8 and ends at 4…that's torture and I think he said that the classes sometimes drags to 6 or sometimes even 7.
(sigh) Anyways, here I am now, as I was thinking about how horrible my day was.
"Hi…You seem like you had a bad day…Can I join you?" the guy asked.
"Hey, is it that obvious?" I asked turning to look at him.
The guy was all cute, great body, but the problem is…he was white. I don't trust these people. I feel like they are always after something and mostly to make us feel inferior to them. His eyes were green, and somehow they were charming me. However, I wasn't going to fall for his 'kindness', no I wasn't foolish. For I knew their mindset, actions, and behaviour.
"Not really, we are in the same class…Oops my manners, my name is Gary," he said stretching his hand towards me.
"Hi Gary, my name is Lebogang, but you can call me Lebo. It was a terrible day for me, I didn't even have a textbook-I have no idea we were supposed to have any textbook. I don't even have the timetable…Everything is just a mess, my whole life is a mess," I said.
I wasn't intending to let it all out on a stranger and worse a white guy.
"Wow Lebogang, that's a nice name…How come you don't have a timetable? I mean we everything is on the Webboard, the timetable and everything else," he said with a puzzled face.
"Webboard? What's that?" I asked.
"It's a web used for lectures to communicate. Like your social media, the lecturers posts, their announcements, and whatever content they want to hand in to us. Everything was explained in the Orientation week, don't you remember? Or were you also bored by that old lady talking nonstop and slowly," He chuckled..
"No, I couldn't attend the Orientation because…" I tried to explain before he cut me.
"…No, I don't blame you, it was boring. Don't worry they didn't say much except the Webboard thing. Trust me when I say that you didn't miss much. Tell you what, let me take you out for lunch, plus I am starving. Then I will tell you what they said in the Orientation programme and demonstrate to you how the Webboard works, word for word. What do you say?" he asked looking at me with pleading eyes.
*What is it with you? What do you want from me? Because I don't want to be your charity…However, I could do with lunch. I am starving…I haven't eaten since I was late in the morning.*
"Come on, I know you hungry…We've had a long day with Prof Lombard. Pretty please…" he begged.
"Okay, I will go…But only because I need to prepare myself better to avoid today's mess," I said although deep down food was the main reason.
We went to one of the restaurants in the Student Centre. I didn't even know what to order because I have never been to fancy restaurants before. I think he saw that I didn't know what to order, he helped me out with the menu. Then there was an awkward silence when the waiter left.
"So, Lebo…Tell me about yourself," he said bringing his hand to touch mine.
"Is this a date? Because if it is, then I will leave right at this moment," I said pulling my hand away.
"No, the thing is, you caught my attention from the moment you disrupted our class," he said looking into my eyes.
"Okay...I am Lebo a girl from ko Kasi (neighbourhood), a daughter of a domestic worker, I am 18 years old, turning 19…What else? There's nothing else to say about me…" I said to him dismissively.
"I would like to get to know you, more. It is too early to say this, but I think I have fallen in love with you," he said.
"Um…You are Gary right? Right…I don't know what game you are playing here but I will not fall for it okay? I am strictly here for schoolwork," I said hastily.
Normally I would have stood up and left him like that, but I was hungry, and res is like 15 minutes' walk from the Student centre.
"…and the food, isn't it?" he said smiling gently and looking at me, his green eyes were sparkling towards my eyes.
"Okay, to be quite honest, I am hungry," I confessed and we both laughed out loud.
The waiter arrived with our food and I just begun to dig in. Indeed, Gary's choice of food was amazing, I really enjoyed. After the main course, I was already full, yet Gary insisted we ate dessert. I ordered for my favourite, chocolate ice cream and Gary had a healthy milkshake. Gary paid the bills afterwards and off we left. In a way, I was happy that I went out to have lunch. I must admit Gary was a gentleman, he filled me in about what I will need for my classes. He showed me the list of books that were required, and we went to the bookstores to buy all the required textbooks.
The bursary gave me a card with a budgeted amount to buy books. I was about to take it out but then, Gary took out his card and paid for me.
"Gary, you didn't have to," I said.
"I am merely trying to impress you," he said with a smile.
*Well keep on going like this and you would have gotten yourself queen…yes I am the queen…*