Elena
Time passed by quickly, as if everything had happened so quickly in just a blink of an eye.
Hindi na muling nagpakita si Toto sa amin simula noong inaresto siya ng mga barangay tanod. Nakulong siya nang ilang taon sa kanyang pagtatangkang panggagahasa sa aking pinsan na si Mina. Simula noon, nilisan namin ang bahay nila Tita Soledad at bumalik muli sa bahay ng aking lola na si Nanay Aning. Sa gayon paraan para makapagsimula kami muli mula sa mapait na nakaraan.
Naging mabuti ang pagsasama namin ni Tita Soledad. Mas naging malapit kami sa isa't-isa na tila tinuring ko na rin siyang aking pangalawang magulang simula noong nawala si Lola Aning. Gayunpaman, paminsan-minsan naando'n pa rin ang aking pangungulila sa akin yumaon na lola. Kung kaya't kapag may oras ako o kaya naman kapag binabalot ako ng lungkot, binibisita ko ang kanyang puntod. I miss her. Hindi iyon nawala sa akin. Sa tuwing may nagaganap na espesyal na pangyayari sa aking buhay, naalala ko ang aking lola. Kung sana... Kung sana lamang.
Natapos nang mabilis ang highschool ko na may katahimikan. Simula noon nakulong si Romer, hindi na ako nagambala na kung anong panibagong sakuna. Pinokus ko ang aking sarili sa pag-aaral upang makakuha ng scholarship sa maganda eskwelahan. Buti na lamang nariyan si Mrs. Ramos sa aking tabi upang gabayan at tulungan ako kapag may kailangan akong bigyang paalam. Sa kalaunan, the fruits of my hard work paid off. I got to a good school and earn my degree in Accountancy.
Naghiwalay kami nang landas ni Melai at Samantha simula noong nagkolehiyo kami. Nakapasok si Melai sa isang music school habang si Samantha naman nakahanap ng bagong pagmamahal sa theatro. Bagama't iba-iba man ang aming napuntahan propesyon, nariyan pa rin ang 'bond' naming magkakaibigan kapag may panahon kaming magkita-kita muli.
Gayunpaman, sa kabila nang pag-normalize nang aking buhay, hindi na muli ako nakaramdam nang sulat mula kay Dante. Ang sulat na binigay niya noong umalis siya papuntang States ang huling sulat na natanggap ko sa kanya. Naghintay ako nang matagal. Nagbaka-sakali at umaasa sa kanyang mga sulat o sa kanyang muling pagbabalik. Subalit, ang tanging nakuha ko lamang ay mga malamig na yapos ng hangin at pangakong nawasak.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyari at bakit hindi na ako nakatanggap ng kanyang tugon. Ang tanging nararamdaman ko ngayon ay pagkadismaya at sakit sa kanyang mga pangakong binitawan. Ilang beses akong umasa, naghintay at nagpumilit na maniwala sa kanyang mga matamis na pangako, ngunit tanging bumati lang sa akin ang mapait na realidad na wala na talaga. Nakalimutan na niya ako, habang ako rito'y naghihintay at umaasa pa rin sa kanyang pagbabalik.
I held on to his promise for so long that made me realized that all I have left to hold was nothing but a thin air of brokenness. With that, I left his promise along with him in the past and moved on to live my life without him.
Kinaya ko kahit masakit.
Paalam, aking Dante. Hanggang sa muli.
Kinalimutan ko lahat ng ito at nagpatuloy sa aking buhay. Lumipas ang lahat na parang bula. Ang dalawang taon ay umabot ng lima hangga't umabot sa sampung taon. Tila lahat nang pangyayari sa akin buhay ay mabilis na humumpay na parang wala lang. Nagpokus ako sa aking trabaho bilang accountant hanggang sa naabot ko ang pangarap ko bilang head ng finance department. Bagama't nakuha ko man ito, nariyan pa rin ang butas sa aking puso na nababalisa at nanlulumo.
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Pangalawang taon ko na rito bilang head finance sa pinasukan kong bagong bukas na law firm. Casey & Co. Law Firm ang pangalan nito at kilala bilang isa sa prestihiyosong law firm dito sa Pilipinas na humahawak ng mga bigatin na kaso rito sa bansa. Sa huling pagkakaalam ko ang huling kasong napalanunan nila ang laban sa isang expository of illegal drug trade ng kilalang Senador dito sa Pilipinas. It was handled and spearheaded by our top lawyer, Atty. Casey Lacsa. At nang manalo siya sa kasong iyon, sunod-sunod na ang mga kasong dumating sa aming kompanya. Isa rin siya sa rason kung bakit nagustuhan ko ang kompanyang ito, dahil naalala ko sa kanya ang kaklase ko na si Kassandra na sa kasalukuyan ngayon ay isang writer at publisher sa isang sikat na publishing company.
Okay naman sila at mababait ang kasama ko rito. Maganda ang trabaho at maayos naman ang benepisyo na binibigay nila sa aming mga empleyado. Kung tutuusin, isa na ito sa mga magandang kompanyang napasukan ko. Bilang head nang finance department, ako ang nagbabantay at nag-oorganize nang financial report at ang strategy and tactical budget management ng kompanya. Malaki ang responsibilidad ko bilang isang head. At first, it was a bit hard for me, but however, all along I got used to my work as I got along with other employees.
Sa ngayon, nagmamadali kong binuksan ang pintuan sa aking opisina habang hawak ang mga dokumentong kailangan kong ipadala ko kay Ms. Reyes. Deadline na ngayon ng quarterly financial report namin kung kaya't habang maaga palang napagdesisyunan ko na ipasa ng maaga. Hindi naman gaanong kastricto si Ms. Reyes pagdating sa trabaho, subalit metikuloso lang siya pagdating sa output ng report.
Pagkalabas ko ng opisina, napansin ko ang lalaking nakasuot ng asul na suit and tie na nakasandal sa lamesa ng ka-opisina ko. Sumulyap ako sa kanila na may konting pag-tataka. Napansin ko na mukhang pamilyar ang kanyang hubog, porma at hugis ng kanyang itsura. Dumungaw ako ng bahagya sa pwesto ni Amber, ang aking ka-opisina at pinagmasdan ko sila. Nakangiti ang lalaki habang kausap si Amber. Mukhang nagtatawanan pa sila.
Sino yan? Bago ba siya dito o bagong cliente namin? Wala naman akong nabalitaan sa kanila. Dumertso ako sa paglalakad at hinayaan ko silang patuloy mag-usap. Tinuloy ko ang aking paglalakad na parang walang napansin. Napaisip ako na baka bagong cliente o aplikante na nasa proseso nang pag-hihiring. Lalo't na kakaalis lang ng isa namin kasamahan noong nakaraang linggo dahil nakadestino na ang kanyang paglipad pa-ibang bansa.
Nang malapit na ang tanaw ko sa kanila, napansin ko na ng maigi ang bagong santa na lalaki. Tila hindi lang siya paamilyar sa akin...Parang kilala ko siya. Ang kanyang tindig at bisig ay napakapamilyar sa aking mata. Napasulyap ako ng tingin muli at napakurap. Biglang napatigil ako sa paglakad nang lumapit ako sa kanila. Muntik ko nang mahulog ang mga papeles na hawak ko sa aking braso nang masilayan ko ang hubog ng kanyang mukha at katawan
'Si Dan-?' Ngunit, malabong mangyari ito dahil nasa ibang bansa siya nakatira. Wala rin akong balita na uuwi siya ng Pinas. Lumapit ako ng kaunti sa kanila at sinigurado ko ng maigi
Nanlaki ang aking mga mata at nanginig ang aking mga paa. Wari'y nabuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig nang masilayan ko ulit ang kanyang mukha. Animo'y nakakita ako muli ng isang nakabaon na alala na matagal ko nang kinalimutan.
Dante?
Siya nga ba talaga ito? Siya nga ba talaga ang nakikita ko ngayon sa aking harapan? Hindi ako makapaniwala sa aking nakita. Makalipas ng sampung tao simula noong huli ko siyang nakita, nasilayan ko ulit ang kanyang mukha. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa mga papeles. Pinagpatuloy ko ang aking paglalakad na tila parang wala akong nakita. Nagmasid ako ng konti at napansin ang laki ng pagbabago sa kanya.
Bakas sa kanyang katayuan ang pagbabago. Ang dati niyang buhok na mapula ay napalitan ng maikling maitim. Ang kanyang maayos at masinop na suot and tie ay tila naiba sa kanyang makusot na uniform. Malaki ang kanyang pinagkaiba sa dating nakilala kong Dante.
Si Dante Constantino Gillesania...
Binaling ko ang aking tingin, at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad na parang walang nangyari. Naramdaman ko ang pagbilis nang pintig ng puso ko. Humigpit lalo ang hawak ko sa mga papeles, nang maramdaman ko ang paglapit ko sa kanila. I averted my gaze from them, neglecting his presence beside me. Ngunit kahit gayon, tila napansin niya pa rin ang aking pagdaan.
Napansin ko ang kanyang paglingon sa akin na tila'y parang wala kaming pinagsamahan. Nakatukod siya sa lamesa ng aking kasamahan habang nakatingin sa akin.
"Elena?"
Napatigil ako ng marinig ko ang kanyang boses na matagal ko nang hindi naririnig. Lumingon ako sa kanya at bahagyang ngumiti. "Dante, kamusta na?" Napalunok ulit ako, habang ramdam ko ang paglakas ng tibok ng aking puso.
Napansin ko ang paghapit ng kanyang panga. "Okay naman. Ikaw?" Tumango siya sa akin na may kasamang matipid na ngiti.
Napakagat ako sa aking labi, "Okay din naman." I cleared my throat. "Um so first day?"
"Yes. My first day, since I came back," aniya sabay napahalukipkip.
Napatango ako. "Ah ganun ba. Welcome. And you are here as a--?" Iminuwestra ko ang aking kamay sa kanya na naghuhudyat nang propesyonal na pagkamay.
Kinamayan niya ako at nagpasalamat, "Thanks. I'm an attorney." Attorney. Si Dante na dating kilala ko bilang isang manlalaro ay isa na ngayon batikan na abogado. He looked good. Mukhang matayog na ang narating niya sa buhay...sa buhay na hindi ko man lang alam.
Nasara ang mga mata ko sa kanyang mga mata, habang ang kamay ko ay hawak ng kamay niya. Lalong bumilis ang tibok ng aking puso at naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng aking pisngi. Nag-iba ang kanyang kamay. Ang dating mainit at banayad na kanyang haplos ay tila nagbago nang malamig at kalkuladong hawak. Ibang-iba na siya ngayon. Wari'y hindi na siya ang dating kilala ko na Dante.
Nabaling ang tingin ko sa kanya nang marinig ko ang boses ni Amber. "Magkakilala pala kayo Ma'am Elena?" Napalingon ako sa likuran ni Dante at nakita ko si Amber, sekretarya namin.
Napatingin ako kay Amber, "Oo, schoolmates kami noong highschool. "
Natuwang sagot ni Amber sabay hawak sa aking kamay. "Wow Ma'am Elena. Ang coincidence naman."
"Oo nga eh." Binitawan ko ang kamay ni Dante at ngumiti kay Amber.
Sumandal si Dante sa lamesa ni Amber at napangiti sa kanya. "Siya pinakamatalino sa batch namin," dagdag ni Dante na may halong pagka-slang sa kanyang boses. Tumingin siya sa akin at ngumiti na parang walang nakaraan ang namagitan sa amin.
Napangiwi ako sa kanyang sinabi.
"Ay nako sir, matalino naman talaga yan si ma'am, kaya nga kahit magkasing-edad lang kami, head na siya ng finance department," ukol ni Amber na may paghanga.
"Hindi naman. Masipag lang siguro," nahiya kong pagsabi.
"Ay nako Ma'am Elena! Wag nang pa-humble!" sagot ni Amber na may kasaming peace sign.
Natawa na lamang ako, "Tsss. Ikaw talaga. Magtrabaho ka na lang kaya."
Naputol ang aming usapan ng makita namin paparating si Atty. Lacsa. Ngumiti siya sa akin muna bago tumingin kay Dante. Pinulupot niya ang kanyang kamay sa likod nito at hinalikan ang kanyang sentido, "You are here na pala. Anong oras ka pa nandito, hun?"
"Hmm, hindi naman. Bago lang. I asked your secretary kanina where's your office," sagot niya na may mga ngiti sa kanyang mga labi. He looked and smirked at me while he held his girlfriend on his arms.
Nang makita ko ang paghaplos ng kanyang mga kamay kay Atty. Lacsa, tila'y nabuhusan ako ng kumukulong tubig. Sandaling tumigil ang mundo habang pinagmamasdan ko silang dalawang magkayakap.
"Aww, ang sweet niyo naman Atty. Lacsa," singit ni Amber. Natawa lang silang dalawa kay Amber, habang hawak ang isat-isa.
Napatikhim ako at hindi nakasagot sa kanila. Pinagmasdan ko lang silang tatlo habang patuloy sa pag-uusap.
"Ikaw talaga, Amber. Go back to your work," tugon ni Atty. Lacsa.
I glanced away from them and cleared my throat again.
Naramdaman ko ang pagsikip ng dibdib ko, ang init at lamig sa aking katawan at ang paghina ng aking mga binti. Parang nawala ako sa litrato, hindi mapansin at hindi makausap.
Hinila ni Atty. Lacsa ang kamay ni Dante at sinabing, "Come on, Let's go inside my office." Tumungo si Dante.
Habang hawak ni Dante ang kanyang kamay, napatingin siya sa akin ang sandaling iyon. Agad na tumibok ang pintig ng puso ko habang nakatitig siya sa akin. Lumapit siya, humilig at sinabing, "Hey, its nice to see you again, Elena..."
"Ikaw rin, Dante," sagot ko habang pinagmamasadan silang magkahawak ang kamay papunta sa opisina ni Atty. Lacsa.
Naiwan akong nakatayo mag-isa sa gitna nang daan, habang nag-iisip sa mga bakit na sumasagi sa aking isipan? Bakit Dante? Bakit ka pa nagpakita ngayon na nakalimutan na kita? Ganoon na lang ba tayo ngayon, tila magkakilala ngunit hindi magkasama? Animo'y lahat nangyari sa amin ay parang mga abo na hinangin ng nakaraan. Masaya at nakakabalisa ngunit madaling kalimutan.
Sa pagkakataon na iyon, napahigpit ako sa hawak ko na mga papeles na may hapding dumadanak sa aking puso.
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Dante
My mind wandered on different thought as Casey continued to talk the hell out of me. Nasa restaurant kami just near the office after working hours. Hindi pa ako nagsimula ngayon as I have to familiarize the place and the people I will be working with. Good thing, I have a new assistant to assist me throughout my first day. As a junior associate lawyer, he's a bit rigid and tough for my liking, but other than that as long as he fucking can do his job, then I don't mind.
But what really shocked me today was when I saw her today. Maria Elena Payton. A blast from the past na nakalimutan ko na. Hindi ko ito naexpect na makita siya sa same company na pagtratrabuhan ko. I never thought I would see her again out of all the years that have passed by. She looked good though.
And as always she damn looked beautiful, even more beautiful than the last time I have held my eyes on her. Time did good to her. The petite body I had known when she was young changed to a more toned and rounded state. Her breast filled up that accentuated the curves of her hips. She was even taller than I remembered her. Just as right where her height should be against mine. But her hair and...the smell of her hair was still the same, the rose and strawberry fragrance that still fascinates me. It was back then, iba na ngayon. Everything right now is different.
"Are you listening, Dan?" Casey asked as she continued picking the remnants of her food on her plate.
Getting back on the state of my obliviousness, I glanced back at her and smiled. "I'm sorry. Must be the jetlag. I had a long and early flight," I explained to her as I took a swig of my wine.
She chuckled. "It's alright I understand." Casey grabbed my hand as she brushed my knuckles. felt a tingle feeling on my palms when I turned it around it and held it against mine. "So how are you na? Did you find an apartment to live in? " I reached her hand, gripping it tightly and touching the soft knuckles of her hand.
"Not yet. Should I live with you first while I looked for my place?" I smirked and took a piece of beef with my spoon.
She fished the table napkin on her lap and wiped it against her lips. Casey then raised her eyebrows and simpered a smile at me, "Hmm it depends if you'll be a good boy, Atty. Gillesania."
"Damn baby, I love hearing your voice saying my name." I chuckled. And that's what i love about Casey, simple lang as we both understand each other.
She took her glass and drank from it. "Well you be working with me throughout your stay here, so I should get used to saying your name, Atty. Gillesania," she interjected.
"Fair enough, dear," I replied. "Anyway, how's tito pala? Kamusta na ang kanyang kalagayan. You told me he's doing sessions of radiotherapy right now?" I changed the suject and asked about her dad, who was also a lawyer like us. I met her way back when I was still studying in college. She was the one who introduced Tito Arnel to me, who helped me financially when I was still in law school. We been friends for so long before we decided to take another step in our relationship.
She smiled at me softly, just how I liked it. "He's okay naman. Yes he is doing therapy right now. Ayon medyo makulit at gusto nang lumabas sa ospital. You know how hard-headed dad is." She tucked a strand of her curls besides her hair and took some noodles on her plate. I stared at her longingly, thinking how time passes by of us being together. She's far different from her. We like the same hobbies and likes. We had a love for sports and a thrill for adventure. She's strong and confident, which I like much about her. Looking at it closely, we are very much compatible with each other. Hence, maybe that's the reason why we do get along smoothly in our relationships. No pain and no hurt, just two people who are committed to each other.
Tumango ako sa kanyang sinabi. "I will be visiting him this weekend after matapos ko lahat nang gagawin ko sa office and sa new apartment na lilipatan ko," I informed her.
She brought down her utensils and glanced at me closely. She bit her lips as her arms rested on the side of the table. "So you won't be staying in my condo tonight?" Her eyes fluttered seductively as she moved her hands on the table to reach mine.
"That is if you want me there tonight, baby," I smirked. I placed back my utensils neatly on the table. I brushed my fingertips to her arms that sent shivers down to her spine.
She raised her brows. "You know the answer to that."
I smirked at her, resting the table napkins on the table and called the waiter, "Waiter? The bill please," I darted back at my seat and saw him moving towards us with a bill on his right hand.
"Here's the bill sir. " He then stood infront of me while waiting as I fished my wallet on the side of my pockets.
As soon as I inserted the bill inside, I replied, "Keep the change, mate."
I looked back at her with her legs crossed around each other as her eyes constantly scrutinized my every moved. I then grabbed her arms as we stood up from our seats while we hold each other as we went out of the restaurant ready to to take her home.
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This was my first day of work in the law firm today. Even though I had a stable job back there in LA, I decided to leave and venture my profession here in the Philippines. After all, there's a big job coming up for me here that needs my expertise. To be honest, I wasn't supposed to be here. I was about to leave my job in LA and grabbed the position of Senior Associate in New York when I got a call from the Philippines from a friend of mine about a case that is in need of my experience. With that, I decided to leave my profession there and went back here to take the opportunity. But, syempre its not just the case I am aiming, it also comes with an open partnership with the firm. Knowing that, I have to win the case to be able to get that partnership offer that was in line with the case. Going back here was hard, yes, since there are so memories I have left here unsated. It's just I wasn't expecting na makita ko pa rito at makasama pa sa trabaho si Elena.
Damn, coincidence nga naman talaga.
I walked through the hallway, greeted some of my newly co-workers and went inside my office. It was wide, with opened glass windows. A neatly made glass table on the center of the room with a nice coated raven wood on its legs. The room had a dark and light contrast from the recessed cans above the ceiling with freshly scent of peppermint and roses coming from the humidifier besides the wooden oak h-stretcher table. The fucking smell reminded me of her. I gazed back at my door, leaned on the jamb and called my associate.
"Atty. Puno, sino ang nag-ayos ng office ko?" Tanong ko.
As soon as he heard my voice, he ran towards me while a pile of papers cradling on his arms. "Sir, I didn't put that there." He gulped with his eyes drooped down on both sides, frightened by my sudden outburst. I chuckled inwardly when I noticed his uptight and rigid personality turned to sudden consternation.
"Who did?" I asked.
An unknown girl went towards me. She looked stunned and nervous as she fixed her red pants in place. She walked towards me, slightly raised her hands and said, "Ako po..."
"And you are?" I raised my tone.
"Your new secretary po sir. Racquel po," she stuttered.
"Sino naglagay ng humidifier in my office?" I asked her, lowering my voice a bit. I then crossed my arms, waiting for her answer.
Both of them looked at each other, twice, seemingly unsure whether to say it or not.
"So? Hindi niyo sasabihin?" I asked again as I tried to gather much patience in my system.
She bit her lips as she stared at me with her eyes begging not to get fired. "Si Atty. Lacsa po sir. Si ma'am po ang nagsuggest na maglagay ng humidifier po para po to condition your mind daw po. Sorry sir, don't fire me. I won't do it again," she explained.
Nabigla ako sa kanyang sinabi. Napaalis ako sa paghilig sa hamba ng pintuan at pinasok ang aking kamay sa loob ng bulsa.
I lurked around and saw her sauntering towards us with her eyes focused on the papers. As soon as our distance met, I called her, "Casey?"
Napatingin siya sa akin, gulat sa akin inasta. "Yes Dan?"
I hooked my arms oh her waist and pulled her to me. "Ikaw ang naglagay ng humidifier?"Tanong ko sa kanya.
She furrowed her brows. "You don't like it ba, babe? I can change it naman. Pinalagay ko yan because this room hadn't been used for a while and it smelled really bad at first, so that the rreason why I decided to include a humidifier in you office," She explained.
Napatango ako sa kanyang sinabi. I sighed at her. "It's alright, its just that it's smells like...." Hindi ko na natuloy ang sinabi ko nang makita ko siyang bigla na padaan papunta sa amin. I felt my jaws tightened when I stared back at her as a glimpse of memories passed me by like a nightmare.
Elena.
"Never mind." I gulped. "It's alright," I added without continuing my explanation.
"Alright then, I'll be back to my office. Let's talk later." Casey hurriedly said as she walked back towards her office that was just beside mine. Bumalik na rin sa kanyang table si Atty. Puno pagkatapos no'n hanggang sa naiwan na lang na nakatayo si Racquel sa aking harapan.
I was about to go inside my office when I Elena crossed towards us holding a bunch of papers towards us. Racquel, my newly appointed secretary, noticed and greeted her, "Hi Ma'am Elena! Good morning!"
Napatingin si Elena sa kanyang kanan at napansin ang pagbati ni Racquel. "Oh ikaw pala. I didn't now na pumasok ka na. How's the baby?" She then asked, without even noticing us--me.
"Okay naman po ma'am. Eto kagagaling lang po nang maternity leave. Thank you nga pala po sa regalo na binigay niyo po. Sobrang thank you talaga, ma'am." Racquel gratefully smiled.
She shrugged. "Wala iyon, ano ka ba! Besides si Violet ang una kong inaanak noh!" tugon nito sa kanya. She smiled sweetly at her as her cheeks flushed brightly like a newly-picked bud of roses. I even groaned more when I noticed how tight her pencil skirt was, the way it accentuate the curvature of her body. She arched her soft bosoms back as I heard a muffle laugh from her sweet voice.
I felt the heat rising up as I continued staring at the woman in front of me who was completely oblivious at the moment.
I cleared my throat to them, giving them a sign that I am there. Napatigil silang dalawa sa pag-uusap nang lumingon sila sa kanilang likod. I raised my brows, darting closely at them as I gave them an eyeing look.
"Excuse me?"
Tumigil ang pagkwekwentuhan ng marinig nila ang boses ko. Nanlaki ang mata ni Racquel nang makita niya akong nakatitig sa kanilang dalawa, "Sorry sir. Sige po go back to work na po ako," saad ni Racquel.
Napansin ko pagtingin sa akin ni Elena habang nakatayo siya sa aking harapan katabi ni Raqcuel. She bit her red rosy lips as she stared at me with her wide open eyes. "Hi Attorney, good morning," She said with her soft and mellowed voice.
I felt my jaw tightened. "Same to you. Good morning, Ms. Payton." Napatikhim ako bigla.
She nodded at me and walked through the hallway. I stood there, gazing at her back as her view vanished from my eyes.
I clenched my fist as I walked back inside my office.
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