Singapore,2030
(Present day)
Pinagmasdan ni Sabrina ang magarang KW Psychiatric Hospital magmula sa bintana ng kaniyang kotse. Dito nagtatrabaho ang kaibigan niyang si Noah. It's been 15 years simula noong magdesisyon siyang ipagpatuloy ang pag-aaral dito sa Singapore sa piling ng kaniyang ama. Isa rin itong doktor sa isang branch ng KW, he is working as surgeon there. Napabuga siya ng hangin. This is it, Savie. There is no turning back now. She cheered herself up and painted one of her sweatest smile. Baba na sana siya ng kotse nang mag-vibrate ang phone niya. It was Lynn, her manager slash editor.
"Savie, where are you? You know its today right? "
She closed her eyes only to open them again.
"I..." she bit her lower lip. "I just..c-can`t, Lynn."
She heard her sigh on the other line.
"I know. I know. I just wanted you if you`re sure about it, it`s your book launching afterall. Guess we have to celebrate without you ..." she paused, "Again."
"I'm really sorry, Lynn. It's just that something came up and you know I never really attended any of them. I just---can't."
"But this one's different , Savie. Your book has been named as bestseller recently and now this one were launching were highly anticipated by your readers. Can't you atleast consider that?"
" But you know me t, Lynn," she said in a calming tone, hoping it would appease Lynn.
"Okay, okay. It's not your thing. I was just trying my luck ..." she answered in defiance.
"Promise, I'll make it up to you soon. Hmmm... Yes. Bye for now," aniya at tinapos ang tawag.
Calm down, Savie. Calm the fuck down aniya sa sarili bago lumabas ng kotse. Dumaan siya sa main entrance. She texted Noah na narito na siya sa lobby ng ospital. While waiting, she took her sit in the long sofa in the visitor's lobby and eyed everyone who enters and exits the building. In fairness, the place doesn't seemed a psychiatric hospital at all, ibang iba ang ambiance dito kumpara sa ibang ospital na amoy antiseptic. Bukod doon ay nakakatulong din ang mga malapad na garden sa harap nito at ang view ng malapad na dagat. A flock of patients were sitting idly in the patient's lounge in their white an blur stripes uniform. They seemed too normal actually.
"Hey," someone tapped her shoulder from behind. Muntik na siyang mapatalon sa kinauupuan. She looked up and found out that it was Noah. She got up at marahas na tinampal ang balikat nito.
"Arayyyyyy.." hinimas nito ang napinsalamg balikat. "Ang sakit mo paring manampal, Savie."
" At ikaw nga diyan mahilig pa ring manggulat. I could have have died of heart attack, you know?" she glared at him pero nginitian lang siya nito. The past years had change him ... for good. Hindi na ito ang galisin --este hindi na ito mukhang stick ngayon. Nagkalaman na ito. His body is lean and his face look more vibrant now. Nakakainggit ang makapal nitong kilay at pilik mata na bumagay sa deep set nitong mga mata. His features were almost feminine kulang na lang wig at masasapawan na siya nito. He actually looked like a native here with fair skin tone. Pero Pilipino ito. His family migrated here a long time ago. They used to lived in the same neighborhood when she first moved here. He went to New York to persue his dream of becoming the best psychologist ever sa New York University.At ngayon he's back for good.
"Did you missed me?" he leaned forward to her, napaatras siya.
"Ewww ... Ilayo mo nga yang mukha mo."
He reeled back and touched his invisible moustache.
"Sadista ka pa rin hanggang ngayon, Savie. Mahigit sampung taon din yun. The last time I saw, you're still bawling for that guy. What`s his name?Au---" agad niyang tinakpan ang bibig nito. When their eyes locked, they were both frozen on the spot. Napabitaw siya dito, embarassed.
"Don't ever try to bring him up," babala niya rito. "Where is your office?" panglilihis niya ng usapan.
Noah still looked flustered sa ginawa niya pero nagawa nitong igiya siya sa kinarororonan ng opisna nito. Para siyang tutang nakabuntot dito. He opened the door for her. Malinis at maaliwas ang opisina nito, maayos na nakasalansan ang mga papeles sa ibabaw ng mesa niyo. May mga libro din na nakasalansan sa estante.
"Tapos ka nang i -scrutinize ang opisina ko?" nakataas-kilay nitong tanong. Napaismid siya. Ipinaghila siya nito ng upuan bago umupo sa kaniyang sariling swivel chair. Napansin niyang nakatutuk ang mga mata nito sa kaniya which makes her a little bit uncomfortable. Kung hindi niya lang ito kaibigan mapagkakamalan na niyang may gusto ito sa kaniya. But there is something strange in the way he looked her, an odd mixure of sympathy, reluctant and ---- pity. Kailan pa ba masasanay sa awa ?
"Shut it, Noah."
Noah blinked twice. "What are you talking about?" he answered, confused.
"You're practically looking at me like one of your patient," sita niya rito.
He smirked at her, "Bakit di nga ba?"
She rolled her eyes at him.
"Whatever," aniya. "Let's go down to business shall we?"
Tumango-tango ito at kinuha ang isang folder sa stacks ng mga folder nito. Nagpabalik-balik ang tingin nito sa kaniya at sa folder.
"Don't make me wait, Noah. Spill the tea. Hindi ako nangangagat, no need to worry."
A playful smile formed on his lips.
"You seem so much worse since the last time I saw you, Savie."
He is definitely provoking her.
"Worse? What are talking about?" she frowned.
"See? Ang dali mo nang mainis. Galit ka ba sa mundo?"
She sighed in frustration.
"May nakapagsabi ba sayong ang kulit mo?" iritang sagot niya.
"Yeah. Actually a lot of women said that, " he paused. "Especially in bed," malanding turan nito. She tried her best na pigilan ang sariling ihampas diyo ang vase sa gilid kiya.
"Noah, can you be atleast act as if your concerned about me?"
" I am concerned, Savie. I am your friend," madramang anito.
"Friend? You are acting like a jerk!"
"I was just kidding, Savie. Masyado ka namang pikon. Anyway, your results are here," iwinagayway nito ang folder ma hawak.
"I still don't get why I'm in here instead of a general hospital," napahalukipkip si Savie. Why does it felt so much colder in here? Was it the aircon or maybe she`s just anxious?The latter most probably.
"It's because..." he paused for a very long time. "Because your perfectly fine, I mean--- physically there is nothing wrong with you aside from the blisters and the itchiness. That's what`s the results said ...at least ."
"At least? W-what the heck are you trying to say?"
"They found something in your blood. A kind of chemical that causes you to have allergy-like symptoms."
"But I don't do drugs! "
"Of course, Savie. Hindi mo na rin kailangan ng drugs you know. Anyway, this chemical is rarely produce by your brain in response to a psychological trauma you may have experienced in the past."
"So, to put it simply guni-guni ko lang lahat `to?" napataas ang boses niya. Savie just can't help it. What Noah said is just too ridiculous to handle. Kaya pala dito siya ipinadala ng papa niya. If only she knew , hindi siya pupunta dito. She rather spent her life in complete ignorance of her state
"No, Savie. As I've said, you are perfectly fine. It`s just that .... your allergies--"
"December allergies," pagtatama niya rito.
"To put it simply, your December allergies is a sort of reaction of your body due to trauma."
Pinaningkitan niya ito ng mata, scrutinizing him. Noah is a a friend of her and she personally asked him to handle her case. Pero sa mga sinasabi nito. She doesn't think thatwas a good idea. Napatuwid siya ng upo.
It's.... It's just that this is hard to believe.
"That is exactly what you're saying! Kung wala talaga akong allergy at nasa isip ko lang yun, it means something is wron with my mind right?!"
Napahilot ng sintido si Noah .
"Look I'm not saying your crazy just merrly because you have a psychological trauma. A disorder in the mind is as normal as having a bruised."
"Okay, okay ... I get it," sabi niya. "If this allergies is a result of my psychological trauma na wala naman akong natatandaang meron pala ako, how do we fix it?"
"You cannot exactlly reccall that event because your brain had repressed it . Pain. It's too unbearable to the point na hindi kakayanin ng utak mo kaya mas minabuti nitong alisin na lamang iyon and the result is your--"
"My allergies."
"Right. Your December allergies. Sadly we don"t have a cure for it "
Her eyes widened in disbelief.
"Wait what? Pinapunta mo lang ba ako para sabihin na wala na akong pag-asa? "
" No, of course. We just want you to know. Dr. Foster could recommend a few medicines to fix your blisters but it will keep coming back. The other one your taking is a bit lacking. These medicines are only a reliever to the itchiness and blisters on your skin. "
She wanted to throw a fit. Ibalibag ang desk ni Noah, basagin ang lahat ng gamit sa opisina niya. Pero tila nawalan siya ng lakas para gawin lahat ng yun. What she just heard is too much.
"So, kailangan kong indahin 'to for the rest of my life? Na tuwing sasapit ang December eh kailangan kong magkulong sa bahay? Do you know how miserable my life is?"
Gusto niyang magbreak down sa harap niya, umiyak at paulanan ito ng mura pero wala namanng mababago. Ang malaman na wala nang pag asang magkaroon siya ng normal na buhay ay sapat na para punuin ng self-pity ang dibdib niya. Savie simply wanted to enjoy her life as much as everyone.
"Savie, what I am trying to say is that your condition does not need medicine.This chemical ...it's still new and ---and what we can do is to at least lessen your brains production of it."
"Eh anong kailangang gawin ko? It's like saying that My case is hopeless."
"Your not hopeless," iniabot nito sa kaniya ang isang bungkos ng papel. Marahas na pinahid niya ang mga pesteng luha na tumulo na pala.
"Ano to?"
"I want you to undergo a series of counselling and test. We'll try every method to cure you."
Binusisi niya ang mga papel.
"Sigurado ka bang hindi talaga ako nababaliw?" she sniffed.
"Hindi nga. Your healthy as a cow," he chuckled as if enjoying seeing her in this mess.
Typical Noah.
"Che! Binubiro mo lang ata ako eh!"
"Hindi. Promise."
"O kelan tayo magsisimula?"
"Ngayon na," he handed her a book and a pen. "I want you to list down what you love about December. List down your beautiful memories in here."
"Beautiful memories? Are you kidding me? I usually spent Deecember in the four walls of our home. I can't face people with ugly blisters in my skin," protesta niya.
"Nah, I'm sure marami kang beautiful memories about December. Alam mo na, like meeting me---your bestfriend."
"Meeting you wasn't a beautiful memory, Noah. It's more like a disaster," she snorted.
As far as she's concerned, December had always been the saddest days of her life. Nagbabasa, cellphone, Kdrama, movie marathon, at pagbebake kapag sinipag siya. Counted kaya yun na beautiful memories?
"Beautiful memories. The most unforgetable moment of your life. That's the way fo start,Savie."
"Most unforgettable huh? Are you kidding? Alam mo, the human mind is bit complicated. We often remember the saddest part of our life rather than the happiest ones."
"You are wrong. Beautiful memories is the most unforgettable moment of our lives because this is where we felt genuinely human beings. Sad or happy, they actually complimented each other because one cannot exist without the other. Paano mo malalaman kung masaya ka without feeling remorse or sadness right ?"
She raised her both hands ---- as if surrendering. Ayaw man niyang aminin may punto. Ibinaling niya tingin sa blangkong papel na nasa harapan niya. Unconciosly ,sinumulan niyang paikutun ang ballpen na hawak sa pagitan ng kaniyang mga daliri. Unforgettable morment huh? She doesn't have any unforgettable moments in December mas bagay na sabihing unforgettable someone. Meeting him in that one fateful night is the start of a beautiful memory in December. Sadly, it was a fleeting moment. Nasaktan siya. Sobra. Does that mean that particular experience is not a beautiful memory at all ? Kasi nasaktan siya sa bandang huli. Napapikit siya. His face is still vivid on her mind. His smile. His hugs. His kisses.They all came flooding her at iisang bagay lang ang naramdaman niya--- a pang of pain deep in her heart. Nang buksan niya ang kaniyang mata, something was already written on the blank pieace of paper.
It was his name.
Austene.