I left the restaurant with packed food. It was Zelda's Favorite food. Caesar Salad. I was walking down the sidewalk and I saw a car stopped by the police. I doubt that it's the car that hit her, yet I'm still worried that it might be the car that hit her. But, I soon realized that life is full of changes. Some big, some small. I learned a long time ago you can fight it or try to make the best of it. And that's all a lot easier if you've got people who love you to help you face whatever life throws at you. But I guess that's o-okay but... I really feel bad for Zelda. Everything feels like Yesterday. It hurts me mentally and physically, thinking about it. I didn't realize that all of us goes through problems. Every problem in life is hard, but if you believe in yourself. You'll get through the problem...
Five minutes later
A minute after I asked what room Zelda is. I suddenly thought of buying flowers for her. But I didn't know that she is going to be in a coma for five to eight months. When I heard that she is going to be in a coma, I felt depressed. I felt sad. I just want... I just want her to wake up and see me. But she won't, for the next five to eight months...
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I guess I should call Jesmery so I can tease her though. So I can lighten up a bit.
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I get my phone out and called Jesmery, My "fake friend". Well, she's actually my friend, but I call her that to annoy her. I also annoy her by saying "You like Josh, don't you, Jeesssmerrry?". She slapped me cause of that. But we are still friends though. And after waiting for like, one minute, she finally fricking answered.
"Hello?"
"Ayo, Jesmery."
"What now?!"
"I just called to ask if you visited, uhh" (Should I tell her that Zelda's in the hospital?)
"Visited Who?"
"Uhh, wait." (Crap. Should I tell her or not? Guess I should tell her, cause why not?)
"I meant, have you visited Zelda in the hospital?"
"Zelda's in the hospital?!?!? What happened?"
"Her mom called me that she was at the hospital cause she got ran over. I... Her... Mom... Told me that. Her spine is broken and she will be left in a wheelchair. She.."
"What?! Tell me, John! She what?!"
"She is..."
"OH MY GOD! Just tell it!"
"She is in a coma for five to eight months..."
"Oh my God... Damn. That hurts. Crap, man. Crap!"
"Yeah, that's what I felt too. Here's something to make you happy. How's Joooooosh?"
"I hate you."
She hunged up after I asked that question. But at this point. It's still unbelievable that... Zelda was in a car accident. And we're such language-based creatures that to some extent we cannot know what we cannot name. And so we assume it isn't real. We refer to it with catch-all terms, like crazy or chronic pain, terms that both ostracise and minimize. The term chronic pain captures nothing of the grinding, constant, ceaseless, inescapable hurt. And the term crazy arrives at us with none of the terror and worry you live with...
That's the quote I have thought in my mind... It's not the Nightingale Illusions I'm feeling. It's the spiral of thought...