July 17, 2021
Finally, my birthday...Yet I still have school. Wow... Which is annoying is, it was already the rainy season, but it didn't rain... But I need to call my friends after school, We're going to hang out at my house. Playing and doing things, I have been thinking that I didn't hear nor notice my teacher calling me to answer a problem on the blackboard, God...Math is hard...
After school, 3:40 pm
It's funny how everybody in my section hates Mathematics, it's literally hard. Like half of the class in my section are failed in Mathematics, there are only two smart kids in my section, Kenneth and Michaella, well, Michaella is smart though, but she is weak at math, I like seeing Kenneth help her, I can feel the chemistry. They're better together, but I know that I shouldn't be jealous of them because I still don't have someone to help them with problems, but I know, the thoughts in my head are saying that "Don't get jealous, you'll get this someday." I also imagine myself as Kenneth and Zelda is Michaella I should not make it obvious to them because they're my friends too, I should be happy for them. And also for my own sense of humor, I tease them about them being together, but secretly, they ARE together.
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I texted my friends that we're going to meet up at my house today, they all answered at the same time that made my phone lag, plus I doubt that Zelda isn't awake yet, but it doesn't hurt to visit her now, it'll just be a ten-minute walk from the hospital to my house
Ten Minutes Later
I finally got home, seeing my friends outside the door of my house, I went up to them, opening the door and opened the lights, Josh and Jesmery has their sleeping bags, Kenneth and Michaella holding hands, Ronald with his manga books, Marla with her TWD comics, and I, have bought recent volumes for a manga I'm trying to finish, not ready for season four of the anime though, I asked:
"Y'all need anything? And by the way, Josh and Jes, Why'd y'all have a sleeping bag?"
"We want to sleep here," she said, laughing at her own words
"...really? That's great, I'm always alone here. Thanks," I said, smiling back at them.
"Oi, John, I really need water." Said Kenneth,
"Get it your own, you lazy ass kid," I answered him, Laughing
"...I hate you..." he said back to me, with a dire expression on his face, his eyes are covered with his hair,
"I'm sorry" walking away, laughing silently
I went to show them my room and my collection, my manga collection, I'm planning on completing Attack on Titan first. Before the other mangas, I noticed Ronald has his whole freek'n One Piece collection with him, it's heavy, so he and I carried half of it. Cause it has 97 volumes, I'm wondering how Ron carried it all the way here even though his house is like 15 minutes away from my house, like how..? Then Marla, on the other hand, is just an independent smart girl that loves TWD, and I, myself also like The Walking Dead, I'm still starting to collect the comics. But I'll ask her later how much is for one volume of The Walking Dead, and you know what they say, the Manga/Comic is always better than the Anime/Television adaptation. Then I asked them
"Y'all want to watch anything? I have Netflix on my tv."
"Yeah, sure," said Kenneth
"What show?" Ron asked
"Any anime..?" Jesmery asked
"Eh, The manga is better," I said
"How about Zombieland and Zombieland Double Tap?" Marla Recommended
"Oh, yeah! I know that! I have been wanting to watch those for a while now." I said
I opened Netflix on my tv and played Zombieland then went to my kitchen preparing food, I asked them if they want to stay over because my house has two guest rooms, They answered
"Yeah, bro! And please, continue making the pops man, we're hungry as hell over here."
"Okay..?"
I finished making their "Pops" and they are still watching there, laughing at the jokes in Zombieland, but I'm here, writing a poem in my head.
Ending
"We had no ending,
no said goodbye.
For all my life,
I'll wonder why."
Those spiral of thoughts are so long and so deep that it continued to pierce my heart thinking of that poem I made for Zelda, but I try to forget those thoughts and went to my friends, sitting down on my couch next to my best friends in my life, I've always wondered if we'll still be friends in the future knowing that we'll all part ways someday...That's the thing that hurts me the most, thinking of our future but, to me, I know it's bad to think about what is gonna happen in the future, that you should always focus on the present, then think what do you want to be in the future, who'll you be in the future, will we be successful or not in the future, but no, just think about yesterday, I will just accept the life I have now. Because those who don't accept their lives are just wasting their own life to their own spiral of thoughts in their head. I just want to be with her, I just want to, I don't want to lose her. Just- I don't want any more people losing. I just don't- I better accept this life, but one day, we'll all meet again, right? Or no? But that's the thing about life, you don't know the answers until you grow old, It's your choice to accept the life you have, or you don't, it's my choice to accept my life. I know what it feels to be alone as well, I know that the worst part of being truly alone is you think about all the times you wished that everyone would just leave you be. Then they do, and you have left being, and you turn out to be a terrible company. I cried next to my friends and they asked
"John..? Are you okay?"
"I was so good at being a kid, and so terrible at being whatever I was now," I answered
Some things never really change the way we are...