It was 7am in the morning, when I woke up due to my dad patting my head softly and calling me to wake up. I woke up with a sudden, little unknown feeling in my heart and making it a bit heavy. Today was my 15th birthday and I was supposed to be happy and i was pretty excited last night, then what exactly changed over night? The answer was a lot. It was a dream, a dream about me having a whole different life that made me love the dream I had, I made a mental note to write it in my diary at night.
"Babia, we need to go to the temple in thirty minutes, get ready" and with that I realized that my life is always gonna be a chaos no matter what. I sighed heavily and went to the washroom. After going to the temple we went to my maternal uncle's place. At this point it almost felt like a ritual for long fifteen years as much as I remember i have been following the same routine for every years birthday nothing new and nothing changed with years.
As I was returning home I got a call from a friend. "Happy birthday, Ahana. Enjoy the day fatso and the treat is due, ok?" she stopped with a laugh and i just replied with a small thank you and hanged up the call. A realization was creeping in me. The birthday wishes was no different than other years but there was such a fake sounds with every words they spoke and I was realizing that how fake these friends were.
I was grumpy the whole day. I was frustrated at the way I was realizing things suddenly today and I was disturbed that so many guest were gonna come. I used to love people coming over but now that was the main reason I was angry.
I got into an argument with my parents and ended up getting a scolding on my birthday. "Whatever we do you never seemed to be contained. You are so ungreatfull and dont try to grow up. You are still a kid" she said with a stren voice that left me speechless and confused that should I be sad that i got scholeded on my birthday or should I laugh at the most stupid comment my mom judt did.
I was surly not a kid at fifteen and I was growing up having mental changes and that was natural but the struggle was that my Indian Parents seemed to be blind by the culture of a Bengali family to agree that their child is growing up.
I was just empty and blank the whole day contemplating my realization at each person around me being so fake for years and I noticed it until now and my realiztion was triggering me to get more and more fond of my dream.
I let out a sigh of relive once all the people went home. I went in my room and pulled out my Personal diary and started carving out the letters to form the shape of the feeling I was having in my stupid heart.