{[Jane]}
[I'd never forget that day.
The day I decided to surprise Matt and make us some pasta for dinner. I turned on the radio to drown out the dreaded silence that filled our apartment. He'd been practicing with the guys all afternoon. Working on some material for their upcoming tour.
He was doing pretty well. Emissaries have become the name on everyone's lips, Rebel Heart has hit the charts on an amazing high. I couldn't be happier for him.
This is what he's always wanted for as long as I could remember.
I drained the tagliatelle, frying the last bit of bacon and mushrooms before grabbing the cream from the fridge when I heard it.
Jake's new album. I couldn't believe he had the nerve. The utter nerve to call it after me. 'Songs about Jane', like he was the victim. As if I was the one who had just up and left him for no reason. Like I was the 'bad person' who left [him] heartbroken.
Curiosity got the best of me. I headed onto the music store and purchased the album. I had to know what he had to 'say' to me. This was clearly done intentionally. To get my attention. To make me feel bad for him.
Apparently I've taken his breath away and made life hard for him to get by. Or that was how I interpreted 'Breathless'. He missed me, wished he'd never screwed up and I'd come back. That he actually loved me. That's what 'Our Love' made me feel. The rest of the songs were just as good, some hitting close to home. Making me feel like I actually missed him and felt bad for him. But I knew I was better off now. No one has ever treated me the way Matt has. He made it his number one priority to always make me feel happy and appreciated.
He came home that night and played an acoustic cover for one of their new songs. As usual - I loved it. 'I slept with someone in Emissaries and all I got was this stupid song written about me'. I couldn't help but laugh at the title. I asked him why it was so long and he just laughed.
"Where's the fun in calling it something like 'Cure to growing older'? It's different. It's us," he replied, pulling me closer to him as he kissed me in the neck.
"Happy anniversary, Janey," he said, pulling out a little black box. "It's... it's not much, but I know you'd like it," he added.
I grinned from ear to ear, slowly lifting the lid of the small box. It had the most beautiful bracelet, a little charm dangling from it. It was a fused N and J with a small diamond on the tip of the J. I was speechless, holding it in my hand. I could see his expression change. He was starting to get nervous like I didn't like it.
I smiled up at him before whispering, "It's perfect."
It was barely audible, but his grin told me he heard it. "I - I didn't get you anything. I just made us some special dinner," I said softly, feeling bad as I looked back at the decked table with small lit tea light candles.
"Having you is more than enough for me." He replied, "And - I'm starving."
He always knew exactly how to cheer me up. And that was why I loved him the most.]
I haven't felt like myself lately. I felt queasy about everything. Sleep has become my new best friend.
I was probably just overworked and stressed.
The end of my book was approaching quickly. Matt and I have been dating now for nearly a year and a half and I was kind of hoping he'd pop the question sooner, rather than later. Not that I'd mind if it was later, I'm just saying.
"Get dressed," Matt said as he emerged from the bathroom, dripping wet as usual. I really wish this man would learn that the towels weren't there just for the show.
"Why-?" I whined, looking back at him from the couch.
He kissed my forehead and chuckled, "Just a hoodie and some jeans would do - nothing fancy. I just feel like treating my girl a bit," he replied.
I sighed exasperated and got up to obey his command. It wasn't long before we were on our way. He took his guitar with him, but he usually did whenever we headed down to the club. He did some small shows there - just for the fun of it.
He didn't charge them anything - even after they turned famous.
I took my usual seat just a couple of tables away from the stage. I watched him set up the equipment and test his guitar.
"So - uhm, today Janey and I have been hitting it off for just over a year and I honestly couldn't ask for anyone better. This one's for you," he said over the mic. "Oh and just a little note, no recordings are allowed for this song, cause it's actually not mine. All credit goes to my good friend Ed, you'll probably rock to his beats pretty soon," he added before strumming his guitar.
I sat there, mesmerized at the words, and how much it fitted our relationship.
"Well, if it isn't the girl from the bus," a blonde guy said, a sweet smile spreading across his face as he drew the chair next to me. He smelled of car oil like any other mechanic would. "I don't believe I ever had the honor of introducing myself that day."
"Pillow guy!" I replied, smiling back at him.
"That's what you call me. Ok. I've had worse," he replied, flashing that gorgeous smile again. "I'm Paul," he added, extending his hand.
I took it and shook it gently. "Jane," I replied, returning my attention to Matt on stage.
"Your boyfriend?" he asked, taking a swig of his beer.
"That obvious?" I asked with a chuckle.
He shrugged, his smile visible from behind his bottle.
"So, you still working at the racetrack?" I asked curiously.
"I race now. I did some rounds in the cars I fixed and some sponsors picked me up. Guess I was pretty lucky," he answered, smiling at the table.
"Oh my god, that's amazing!" I replied as Matt joined my side.
"Matthew Zwei," he said firmly, extending his hand to Paul to shake.
"Paul. Paul Wayde," he replied, firmly shaking his hand - not breaking eye contact.