{[Jane]}
[I went with him that night - as an acquaintance - but I left with so much more.
I've was staying at Matt's now for over four months, undeniable tension and flirting making their rounds every now and then. The guys mocked us a lot. Shaun even booked us a hotel room on Matt's birthday.
Honestly? I thought it was hilarious and played along.
Nothing happened. Just the usual friendly cuddle and chatting until way past midnight.
I was starting to grow attached to Matt and wanted to be more than friends, but he had this girl and they looked pretty tight. It even made me feel... Jealous?
She was gorgeous with a body to die for. Somehow, she reminded me a lot of him. Her dark, shoulder length hair and open personality showing off the fact that she had had her eye on him for quite some time now.
He called her Lace, said they knew each other from way back. Somehow, I didn't know what to feel. I felt like the back-up plan and for once I knew what it felt like to have the tables turned on me - and it was sickening.
I couldn't believe I've treated Matt like this all this time.
He returned one night after a show and I knew something was horribly wrong - besides the fact that he stole my spoon and finished half my ice cream.
He looked heartbroken - betrayed even.
I hated prying into his private life, but I knew this time... I had to.
He went over to Lican's earlier to pick up some notes for their new album, but found Lacey riding him like a rodeo instead.
He trusted her. Even when she told him that she wanted to wait until they were married before having sex.
He bought a ring for her. Tossed it into the lake on his way home.
I couldn't blame him. I'd probably dump their lifeless bodies there when I was done with them.
That night it was my turn to try and mend what someone had shattered into splintered pieces.
And I think that was the night we knew we only needed each other.]
I felt the laptop screen close slowly. A grinning Matt smiling at me as he waved his iPod in the air.
"Show off," I mumbled, folding it open again. I heard him dock it before the entire room filled with music. Just loud enough to not bother the neighbours.
"Put down that piece of shit," he joked, extending his hand to me.
"You're so cliché," I snorted.
"But I simply do it best," he said, winking and urging me to get up.
"Matthew, you know I don't dance," I retorted.
"Neither do I, so who gives a shit." He pulled me off the couch and against his chest.
My breath caught in my throat, my heart beating uncontrollably as I struggled to steady my breath. His cologne filled my senses, drawing me closer into him. He placed his hands firmly onto the small of my back, urging me closer. I hesitantly slipped my arms around his neck, following his lead as he stared into my eyes. Nowhere else. Keeping them locked on me, only occasionally trailing down to my lips.
I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. [That kiss]. The night at the awards when the camera man told us to do it.
We didn't put up a show. We didn't have to. He kissed me like he meant it and I didn't want for it to end, but it was just to keep up appearances - nothing more.
I couldn't take it anymore, pulling away from him, but he wanted none - keeping me in place with his firm grip before cupping my face with both his hands, pressing his soft, warm lips against mine.
Sparks of sensation traveling up my spine as I kissed him back, making the first move to deepen our kiss. He pressed me up against the wall and drew me closer to him once more.
He broke the kiss breathlessly, blushing as he adjusted himself in his pants and apologised. I giggled, wiping the loose hair behind his ear.
"How do you do this?" he asked, his voice hoarse as he leaned his forehead against mine - his hands now firmly placed besides my head, keeping his distance from my body.
"Do what?" I whispered softly.
"This," he answered, intertwining his fingers with mine before placing my hands above my head and kissing me once again, a rush of pleasure rippling through me - arousing me even.
"I want to be more than just good friends," I blurted out as I pulled away from him.
His eyes were filled with confusion, his entire body language changing. The game of cat and mouse had finally come to an end.
I worried. What if he didn't [want] this? What if he said 'no'. Did I have to move out or bare living in the awkward moment forever?
But I was worrying about nothing as he scooped me off the ground and nuzzled into my neck. For a moment there, I swore he even cried a bit.
"Janey. [My] Janey," he whispered into my hair as he put me down.
"My Matthew," I whispered back, unable to stop myself from smiling.
"Are you... Are you [sure] about this?" he asked, his eyes searching my face for some sign of instant regret.
"More than I've been about anything in my miserable life," I replied, taking his hands into mine.
Bliss. Peacefulness. Happiness.
There were no words to describe how I felt at that given moment. Every emotion together couldn't justify it.
I've never had a serious relationship with any of my close friends before. But then again, Matt and I were different.