{[Matt]}
I watched her get off the bus, earphones still propped in her ears. Her smile spread across her face like wildfire as she dropping her bag and dashed over to me.
I picked her up and spun her around, unable to hide how happy she made me right that instant. I rested my head against hers, just staring into her gorgeous eyes without saying a word - just enjoying the feeling of having her in my arms again.
She bit down on her lip like she always did when she wanted to do something she knew she'd get in trouble for.
Next thing I knew she drew me down to her, crushing our lips together. Instinctively, I pulled her closer, running my hand through her pixie-like hair. I could feel her smile as I kissed her back.
"I wish I'd listened to you in the first place," she whispered, sliding off her ring as we broke the kiss. That thing must have been at least half a carat diamond, if not more.
She smiled at me as she twirled it around in her hand before turning and walking over to a homeless guy sitting on the bench close to where her bus stopped. "I think you need this more than I do," she said, placing it inside his dirty hands and folding them closed.
"But miss-" he uttered, looking around her at me.
I casually stood with my hands in my jeans' pockets, rocking back and forth on my heels before waving at him. "Not mine, buddy," I shouted over at them as she giggled, wiping a loose lock of hair behind her ear.
"May God bless you beyond measure," the homeless guy said, taking her hands into his. "People like you remind us that we are not completely invisible sometimes."
She smiled shyly at the ground, whispering thank you before walking away from him.
"You must be starving," I suggested, showing her to my car. It wasn't the best, but at least it was better than a damn Prius.
"Starving is an understatement. I could eat a horse for breakfast and a cow for seconds," she joked, chuckling nervously as I packed her few belongings into the trunk.
"This really all you have left?" I asked her, completely heartbroken.
She'd been away for months and barely bought anything. This was so not the Jane I knew.
"I didn't want anything that reminded me of him," she said softly, opening the door and getting in.
She was still buckling up when I got in, moving against the door as she stared out into the now empty parking lot. The weather felt heavy like a storm might be approaching.
Probably just some thunderstorm, a few gusts of wind and a little bit of rain and it'll be all over anyway.
"Hope you don't mind me crashing at your place until I get my own," she whispered, turning to me.
"Not at all. Anything to help," I replied with a smile. "You sure you're ok?" I asked, gently placing my hand on her knee.
She looked at it as if not knowing what to do next as she bit her lip and nodded in response.
"I'm a strong girl. You know that by now," she replied, pushing a smile as she squeezed my hand.
"Atta girl. Now let's get you home and showered while I order us a pizza to share," I joked, starting the ignition.
"I'd really like that," she replied.
She sounded like her old, shy, hurt self I've known for years. She was going through another rough patch, but it was nothing we wouldn't be able to handle together. We always did.
***
I ran her a hot tub with some aromatic relaxing bubble bath Shaun had bought me as a joke a couple of months ago while she unloaded her bags and settled into the guest room I set out for her.
I knew she'd need her space, but still want to be near me. That was Jane. Securely insecure as I liked to call it.
I went to fetch her, finding her on the edge of the bed, head in hands, mascara trails running down her beautiful face. I sat down beside her and drew her into my chest, rhythmically rubbing her back - making sure not to say a word.
She smudged her make up against my brand new Metallica shirt, probably staining it - but I couldn't care. Money could buy me another shirt, but it couldn't buy me another Jane.
"Your bath's ready," I whispered against her hair.
I knew she wouldn't want to talk about it now. It was better to leave her be and cry it out - just be there whenever she needed me and not pry or ask questions.
She wiped her eyes and smiled as she stared at me with her glossy red eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, kissing my forehead before walking out of the room - smiling back at me one last time over her shoulder before turning down the hallway.
As soon as I heard the door close, I got up and walked over to the kitchen to get the pizza place's number. I ordered a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and a plain margarita - just in case that loser made her think she was fat and went on another dieting spree like she did when the last dude crushed her. I flopped down on the couch and switched on the tv, just in time for the Bulls game.
She came out of the bathroom not too long after, towel drying her hair and wearing one of my oversized shirts and some boy shorts. I could tell there was no bra involved, which only showed me she was comfortable being herself around me. And I was grateful for that. Last time she wore nothing but sweatpants and hoodies, because 'she wasn't worth looking at'.
She walked over and threw the towel at me before flopping down next to me and folding her legs under her.
"I really needed that," she said, moving closer to me. "Thanks, Matthew."
"Anytime, Janey. So... Netflix and chill?" I asked, opening my arms for her to lay against me.
She pushed me back with one finger and smirked.
"Just Netflix. Thanks for the offer," she said with a wink.
"Fine. Just Netflix. Your choice then," I offered, handing her the remote. I was really hoping she'd hire the latest Game of Thrones episode, but instead, she hired 'No Strings Attached'.
Mixed signals - major. Did I care? No.
Why not you should ask?
Because I've known Jane for over a decade probably. This was just who she was.
What we've always been.
The pizza delivery guy dropped off our pizza a couple of minutes into the movie. I handed her her Margarita and she narrowed her eyes at me, watching me reveal my double cheese pepperoni.
"Just being cautious. You know, about what happened last time."
Her face visibly relaxed as she closed her box and stole a slice of mine instead.
"I don't give a shit anymore," she joked, sticking out her tongue. "What happened to Tiffany, by the way?" she added between chews.
"I rather not talk about it," I said, grabbing another slice.
"That bad?" She asked softly.
I didn't answer her. Unable to express the hurt I felt of losing her this time. The way it immobilized and crippled me beyond the point of even being able to function properly.
"Matthew," she whispered, dragging me out of my train of thought. "Are you ok?" she asked with concern.
"I'm fine, Janey. Just had a little relapse, but I'm fine now," I replied with a weak smile.
She put her half-eaten slice back into the box and cuddled into my chest. I held her tight and watched her fall asleep. So peaceful, probably for the first time in weeks.
I tried to watch the rest of the movie but decided to catch some shut-eye instead.
I was still unable to believe that she was finally here - asleep and in my arms after all this time.