The feeling of a swift wind coats my cheeks as I walk down the cemented sidewalk. My hands are shaking, trying to tell me to do it. But I can't.
Opening the small, pink door I hear the sound of a faint bell, signaling my arrival. I take small steps toward the counter and pull out my wallet.
"Mint."
"Yes sir! Coming right up!" the man with the bunny smile told me. I didn't say anything in response, only looking down towards the tile and bouncing on my heels. I fucking hate going out. Especially to places with a lot of people. So, I come to Kitten Korner. There's hardly anyone here. It's an ice cream place within walking distance of my apartment.
I see the Bunny Boy a lot. I come here almost every night when it isn't safe for me to be alone with myself. I get the same thing every time, mint. But the Bunny Boy always asks anyway. I pulled the hems of my sweater over my palms, barely showing my fingers.
"Mint ice cream!" he smiled. He's always smiling. What does he have to be so happy about? He has to be barely out of high school. He still looks like a kid. I hummed in response, handing him my card. He swipes it carefully, and returns it to me. I sign, and begin walking to my usual booth by the window with both if my hands on the cone.
I scooted into the faded teal booth seat quietly while I saw the Bunny Boy turn and throw the towel over his shoulder, stacking cups of different sizes. I set my gaze towards the large window where the sun is slowly resting, leaving a faint yellow-orange tint behind. Letting my focus fall towards the less-than-busy street, I noticed a car accident on the intersection. The lonely skies are clouding with a dark blanket-like smoke.
There's so much smoke.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. That's what she says to me, isn't it? Just breathe Yoongi. That's what she said. It'll be okay. It'll pass. I can feel my hands shaking with need once more. It's too cold. Wouldn't she want me to get rid of it? I can still feel the scorching on my skin. I want to scream.
"I told you... to put that FUCKING LIGHTER AWAY, YOU PSYCHO!"
Smack. Smack. Smack.
How many times will I have to run from it? It's almost like flames give me freedom. I have control with it for a while, until I don't. But as soon as I lose that control, I don't want it back anymore. I need to watch it-
"Sir!" I felt my body shake violently. "Shit..." a voice whispered. I turn from the window to see the Bunny Boy with his hands gripped tightly on my frail shoulders. I must've spaced out.
"Are you okay? You were breathing so heavily, and I-" His eyes were wide with concern, his features seeming heavy. No.
The faint ring if the bell was heard again, signaling an exit.
My exit.
I sped down the sidewalk, once again feeling the chilled wind hit my face as I rushed back to the only place I could lock myself away. That stupid, lonely apartment.