January 13, 1994
Hey! Well, I've been in a serious thinking mode lately. The topic you ask? Well, what do you think? Of course, it's GUYS! One particular guy, you may ask? Why yes! It's Ray again.
What the fuck?
Do I want him or do I just want the idea of him is the question here folks? Or do I just want to fuck him? (not literally, you pervert, I'm still a virgin). Or do I like him enough to go out with him, be his girlfriend? I never stopped liking him since whenever, I just didn't like the idea of him being my boyfriend. COMMITMENT is what I need to handle here folks. Shit. Maybe I should tell him I still like him.
Maybe not.
SHIT.
You see it's all back to being flirty and shit again. And the way he smiles at me and makes jokes with me. Like what the fuck, he pays me a little attention and now I want him again. I don't get it. I was so over the butterflies and the anxious feelings when I see him. He was like a normal dude for a while and now it's like what? If he starts writing me letters again I'm going to lose my shit. I'm already as confused as shit. Ugh.
Until later
Kate + Ray <- that's about all I can say right now.