"Thea! Please talk to us! Wag mo namang pahirapan yung sarili mo, please baby open the door." No! I'm a disgrace to this family, ano ang sasabihin ng mga tao kung malaman nalang nila ito. Dahil sa kabaliwan ko at dahil lang sa isang lalaki. I just turn 20 and fragile, d pa ako handa sa ganitong sitwasyon, nasaktan lang ako at bumigay.
"Please Thea your ate is angry right now! Kung d mo tu bubuksan ipasisira ko tu!" I heard ate shout outside my door. But they will not be happy knowing that there youngest is a failure. Especially my daddy, and I'm scared just thinking of the outcome.
"Isa!" No! D ko sila kayang harapin.
"Anak naman! Natatakot na ako sa ginagawa mo, ano bang nagyayari sayo!" I cover my ear with my both hands. I hate the noise, nakakatakot , their screams!
No! I can't! I can't face them. I still remember what I did at maling-mali yun...... I'm pregnant! And the father of the my child don't love me anymore. He don't even know he got me pregnant, at alam kong d nya matatanggap ang batang dinadala ko ngayon.
I don't want them to see me as a failure, but I already am! How can they accept me in this family kung ang anak nila still going in college and hindi pa kasal but already pregnant. Knowing the reaction of people and business people, it scared the hell out of me.
Mali! Mali talaga tu! Pero ayokong i pa abort ang bata, I have sin already and I don't want to do it twice. I look like a mess right now I'm crying non-stop like there is no tommorow, and I feel like I need to let go at something, the feelings that I cant describe!
After crying for an hour, I didn't realize my ate and mommy already inside my room and hugging me tightly.
"Oh my ghad! Thea what happen to you?!" Nagtatarantang sabi ni ate.
Ate?...can she accept me as her sister? Can she still call me her sister?
"Anak! Anong nangyari!" They both hug me at mas lumakas yung hikbi ko, Can they still accept me?
"M-mommy...at-e..... I'm so sorry..." They face me with confusion.
"Oh no! Don't be sorry you don't have to be sorry. Baby sis!" No! I really sorry!
"Bakit ba ginagawa mo tu sa sarili mo?" They're both crying right now, why? That's should be me, only me!
"M-mom, a-ate..... I-I'm..... preg.... nant..... I'm s-sorry!" I saw shock written at their face. I thought they gonna shout at me or slap me. But they hug me tight! This is not the reaction I suppose to get.
"M-mom your...not...mad?"
"How can I be mad at you, it's already happen sweetie. You need to be strong." I heard it right? Mom is not mad at me. And she didn't discouraged me.
"B-but?! I'm a disgrace to this family!" Bigla ako nakaramdam ng hapdi sa pisngi ko.
"LIA!" I thought ate is not mad too, she slap me hard. I deserve it anyway.
"You shouldn't do that to your sister!" Sigaw ni mommy, Akala ko sisigawan nya pa ako pero lumapit sya sakin at humigpit ng yakap.
"That slap! D kita sinampal dahil nag kamali ka at na buntis. Yung sampal na yun ay dahil sa sinabi mong disgrace. You don't deserve that Thea and don't ever say that again or else d lang sampal ang matikim mo." Sabi ni ate at tumawa pa. I can't stop my tears from falling. Gusto kong tumawa, but I can't, baliw talaga si ate.
What did I do to have this mother and a sister.
"Kailan pa anak?" Tanong ni mommy. I can breath properly right now. Pinatahan nila ako ni mommy ng ilang oras at thank God! I'm a little okay.
"Last week." I can't face them straight right in their eyes. Natatakot pa din ako.
"Oh my ghad! So four days ka nang d kumakain ng maayos. Paano yung baby kapag ganun Thea. Oh my ghad my niece!" Tarantang sigaw ni ate. Niece? We didn't even know kung babae o lalaki ba yung baby ko. But can I accept this child?
"Kumalma ka nga Lia!"
"Pano ako kakalma mom! Eh baka kung anong mangyari sa pamangkin ko ayaw kong pumangit yung pamangkin ko mom!" Seriously ate?
"Aray!" Binatukan ni mommy si ate.
"Kung ano-anong pinagsasabi mo."
"I'm just kidding lang naman, ang sakit nun mom ah!, pinapangiti ko lang naman si bunso." Sabay yakap ni Ate sakin. I'm thankful to have her. Really.
"Who's the baby's father?" That's a complicated situation. He don't love me.
"Si CJ lang yung huling kasama mo nung gabe na yun Thea." They know him! Of course, they met him na and his parents is a business partner with my parents.
"Mom, j-just don't tell him. Don't tell his parents."
"So sya nga yung ama, swerteng bata mganda at pogi yung mga magulang!" She's realy crazy!
"Ate!" Si ate naman iih! Pinapalala pa!
"Bakit ko hindi sasabihin kailangan nya ng ama Thea. You deserve someone na tutulong sapag papalaki sa mga bata, you know naman mahirap mag alaga ng walang kasama" Mommy's maybe right But still! Nandyan naman sila ni Ate. At isa pa aanhin ko yung tulong nya kung mapipilitan lang naman sya.
"Wag na mom kaya ko namang buhayin ang anak kong walang ama. And you guys with me naman diba?." I felt tears falling again. Pinunasan naman yun ni ate.
"She deserve to know Thea at d lang ikaw ang dapat na makaalam. He's still the father. Oo nandyan kami para tulungan ka pero...Thea you need a support from him, kailangan ng bata makilala yung ama nila." Easy to say ate but It's not that easy to do it, even I want to but I will be selfish kung ganon.
"But he don't love me anymore! I don't want him na....na mapilitang tanggapin ang anak namin! Ayokong lumaki ang anak ko na force love ang meron ang ama nya. Mom he has someone, may girlfriend na yung tao! At mahal na nya yun! I don't want to be selfish for my own good!" I can't risk my child at ayokong ma reject sya ng sarili nyang ama.
"What! So after a week of break up nyo meron na kaagad syang bago! Bobo yun ah! You don't deserve that!" Natatakot ako the way si ate gumalaw, anytime pupuntahan nya si CJ. I can predict sometimes ate's moves.
"Ate! Calm down mas mahal nya yun eh! I don't have the right!" Do I?
"What! Oh my ghad! Thea ikaw yung girlfriend you have the right. So ano ikaw ang martyr! That not fair! At isa pa you can be selfish sometimes!" Martyr na ba ako? Kung ganon ang tawag, oo nalang siguro, gusto ko lang naman maging masaya yung mahal ko. I rather be selfless to make him happy.
"Stop it already Lia and let's respec Thea decision. But please Thea in the Right time you need to face it. The child need to meet him, And by the way you have a one problem." One problem?
"You need to tell your dad about this." Oh ghad! Right! Dad will be so mad. How can I face him! He will force me to tell him! I can't!