I can't stop my eyes from crying. My emotions were all mix up right now. Confusion and fear, it was as though I lost myself. Hindi ko na kilala kung sino ba talaga ako.
"Esmé, wait up!"
Titus still ran after me. Hindi ko siya nilingon dahil ayoko muna siyang kausapin, ayoko muna silang kausapin.
As I entered my room, I hurriedly closes the door but his soft, cold hand stopped me.
"Gulong-gulo na ang utak ko! Please lang Titus, leave me alone!" I cried.
His eyes locked to mine. Kitang-kita ko ang pag-aalala niya. My body trembles that I had to stop pushing the door to keep my balance. All of my frustration came to me at once, like fire burning me fast.
"I'm sorry if you have to do this. Pero kung hindi ka pa handa, maghihintay ako."
His cold hand cupped my face, wiping my tears away.
"Maghihintay ako sa araw na ako ang pipiliin mo. I will protect you even if it means draining my power."
His sincere eyes stopped my tears from falling. Somehow, I feel like I'm suddenly okay.
"Hindi ko 'to gusto. Hindi ito ang gusto kong mangyari sa buhay ko. This blood of cosmos, I don't want this." His blue eyes suddenly became brighter.
"Then give it to me."
Napalunok ako sa narinig. What does he mean?
"Give? How?"
His cold hands ran down from my cheek to my neck. Slowly lining the shoulders down my chest.
He leaned on close enough I could hear his heartbeat.
"Offer yourself to me."
Hindi ko maigalaw ang katawan ko. Hindi ako makaurong, like I was frozen.
Does he mean. . .
With thay crazy thought, I felt my face burn and I know it's glowing red. I tried hard to turn away but his piercing eyes won't let me.
"It's not that easy Titus." The grin on his lips slowly disappears.
Inalis niya ang kamay niyang nakadikit sa katawan ko. I took my chance to move away a little.
"Just in case you forget, isa akong tao. Hindi ko ibibigay ang sarili ko sa kahit na sino, lalo na kung walang pagmamahal."
On spur of moment, his angelic face became agitated. His calm gesture stiffened.
"Let's not get into that."
He moved and turn his back on me. What happened? May nasabi ba ako masama?
Before I could ask him, a burst of cold fog filled my room. Naging malabo ang kwarto sa paningin ko dahil sa mala-usok na bumalot dito.
And as it fades away, I saw Titus changed its form. Once again, I saw his cat-like ears sprung out from the top of his head. It's tail swoosh out softly.
"At dahil wala kapang pinipili, maglalagay ako nang barrier dito sa kwarto mo." Naglabas ang kamay niya nang kumikinang na asul na usok at ibinalot iyon sa kabuonan ng kwarto ko.
"The Kreepers are more powerful at night. Don't think of going out this late."
Hindi ako binigyan ni Titus nang pagkakataon para makapagsalita. Pabagsak niyang isinara ang pinto at iniwan akong takang-taka.
Sa paglalim nang gabi, sinubukan kong matulog pero hindi ako makatulog. Kahit idlip man lang hindi ko magawa. Marahil dahil sa mga kabaliwang nalaman ko. Ang laking pressure nito para sa 'kin.
How can I give myself to someone I barely know?
And most of all,
Will I give it just because I have to, and not because of love?
Ilang beses akong nagpabaling-baling sa higaan ko. Hindi talaga ako dinadalaw nang antok. Maybe a glass of milk will help.
Kahit pa binalaan ako ni Titus na huwag lumabas ay hindi ko na iyon inisip. Hindi man lang niya inisip na kailangan ko ring gumamit nang banyo.
Sumilip muna ako bago tuluyang lumabas nang kwarto. Nothing seems to be suspicious. I continue walking hanggang sa makapunta ako nang kusina.
Malamig pa ang gatas na galing sa ref kaya naman pinainit ko muna ito sa kalan. Habang hinihintay ay pumasok muna ako sa banyo at naghilamos.
Ngayong nagkaroon ako nang oras na mag-isa. Naisip kong, nakasalalay pala sa 'kin ang kaligtasan nang mundo. Nang mga mundo to be exact. Totoo palang hindi lang tao ang nabubuhay sa kalawakan.
As I step out of the door I heard noises coming from the farthest corner of the hallway. Pinatay ko ang apoy sa kalan bago tuluyang inalam kung kanino nangagaling ang ingay.
Habang papalapit ako'y lalong lumalakas ang ingay. Hanggang sa biglaan na lang may aninong lumabas mula sa dilim. Agad akong nagtago para hindi ako makita nang kung sino mang naroroon.
Maybe going out of my room is really a bad idea. But the hell, nandito na ako. Wala na akong magagawa kung 'di harapin ito.
I searched something in the kitchen that I could use to defend myself. Isang frying pan ang nakita ko, agad ko iyong kinuha.
Alam kong papalapit na siya. I could hear its steps slowly, closely coming to my direction.
Diyos ko, tulungan niyo po ako.
Inipon ko ang lakas ng loob ko. Ipapatama ko talaga ito sa mukha niya. Kahit ganitong maliit ako, alam ko malakas naman ako.
I looked down the floor. Ang paa niya ang magiging cue ko para ipalo ang armas ko.
As soon as I saw a foot step on the floor. I angrily bang the pan in the air directly towards it.
Hinintay kong pumalo ang armas ko pero nagtuloy-tuloy lamang ako sa pag-ikot. The pan slips off my hand as my body turns around boldly.
"What are you doing here?"
I ended up resting in the arms of man in front of me. His warm hands gave me comfort I needed.
"Orion."
Lahat ng kaba ko naglaho. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang malaman na si Orion ang naroon at hindi halimaw. I closed my eyes in relief. Tighting my grip on his warm body.
"Finally, you're giving in."
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up right and close to his body.
"No, I'm not," I said to him. "Sobrang lamig lang kasi sa kwarto ko. I need to warm up." I breathe deeply, feeling the warmth linger around my body.
"Thank you. I needed that." I tear off my distance from him.
"Kanina pa kita hinihintay na lumabas. I really want to talk to you but that damn Titus put barrier in your room. Hindi ako makalapit."
Nanaig ang katahimikan sa paligid namin. Alam kong tungkol na naman ito sa pakikipag-isa ko sa kanya.
Quickly I turned my back. Tila naramdaman niya ang pag-aalinlangan ko.
In a flash, he grabbed my hand pulling me again but much closer to him.
"Kung importante para sa 'yo ang pag-ibig. Gagawin ko ang lahat, maging akin ka lang."