October 2015
Euphoria. One word to describe my every day. Vaughn is the exact epitome of the man I imagined him to be with his lover. Sweet, gentle, and caring. And for the past months that we started dating, I get to see his other sides. Although it's rare, there are moments when he's the first one to cling on me.
May mga pagkakataon na hindi namin maiwasan ang magtalo lalo na tuwing naaabutan nya akong naghihintay sa kanya sa labas ng Main Building tuwing late na natatapos ang meeting nila sa council. He keeps on telling me not to wait cause it's not proper for a woman like me to wait outside alone. Kahit pa gusto ko lang na makasama syang maglakad papunta sa dormitory, nangingibabaw pa din ang mga principles nya sa buhay. Gaya na lang ng hindi ko pwedeng pagpasok sa kwarto nya kahit na may relasyon na kaming dalawa. But I still do as I please, just like now.
It's been two days since we last see each other so after my band's rehearsals for the upcoming school festival, I sneak to his room and ended up falling asleep. And before I could even go back to my room, he's back already probably from his meetings.
"Marcielle Anne! How many times do I have to tell you not to come in my room without my permission?" Bagaman mahina iyon, may bahid ng inis ang boses nyang tanong sakin bago isinara ang pinto ng kwarto nya.
Kapansin-pansin ang pagod at kakulangan ng tulog sa mga mata nya. Kaya naman nakaramdam ako ng hiya. I thought that things will change between us but it seems that he's still the same Man of Principles, Vaughn Carlo Alcantara III.
"I just...miss you. I'm sorry." Pigil ang luhang sabi ko bago akmang lalabas na ng kwarto nya ng masuyo nya akong pigilan at yakapin.
"I'm sorry. I'm not mad. Ayoko lang na maiskandalo ka. Oo, noon okay lang. We're not together that time. Iba na ngayon, Love." May pagsuyo nyang wika bago marahang inangat ang baba ko upang magtama ang paningin namin dalawa.
I could see the seriousness in his eyes. My friends always tell me that I'm lucky because the man who loves me really cares and respects me. But sometimes, I still feel like, he's still hesitant to something I'm not sure of.
Unlike the other lovers that I've been watching in Korean dramas or American series, we rarely kiss. Madalas ay ako pa ang nagnanakaw ng halik sa kanya na isa din sa madalas namin pagtalunan. O mas tamang sabihin, madalas kong pagmaktulan. I do understand how he hates PDA's but even it's just the two of us, he never makes a move after that first time.
"Kiss me." I command that somehow made him speechless.
Nakaramdam ako ng kirot sa dibdib nang maramdaman ko ang pagluwang ng hawak nya sa bewang ko na tila ba may sinabi akong di kanais nais.
"What? Sasabihin mo na naman na hindi proper para sa ibang babae na humingi ng halik sa nobyo nya? Seriously? Ako ba yung babae o ikaw? Why are you so prim and proper? Kissing is normal to people in love. Yung iba ngang walang relasyon ginagawa yan, tayo pa kaya na meron? Do you really love me?"
I know I'm being immature. Hindi ko lang lubos maisip kung bakit parang lagi syang takot halikan ako o maski ang yakapin ako. He is contented on holding my hands. Jusko! Napaka-elementary!
Damn! I sounded like a pervert just now because of this conservative man that I love so much. Maktol ko sa isip.
My friends keep on teasing me about it. That even though I'm dating the King, we're still far from being called a couple because of his coldness and lack of passion. Hindi ko naman sana papansinin ang sinasabi nila kung hindi ko lang nakikita ang tumatayong Queen ng ADA na madalas na naka-angkla sa kanya nya na halos idikit na ang malaki nitong hinaharap sa braso nya. I feel jealous every time I see them being so close like that and he doesn't do a thing about it. He just let that so-called Queen, while me, when I'm trying to cling to him, he will immediately brush me away as if I have some kind of infectious disease.
Kunot ang noong tinignan nya ako. "Yun ba ang pamantayan mo ng love? Just because I don't kiss you a lot, does that mean I don't love you? High schooler ka ba at ganyan ka mag-isip? Then why don't you find other guy to kiss if you're craving for a kiss that much?" May bakas ng inis na tanong nya.
Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa sinabi nya. Walang imik na kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap sa kanya. I know I sounded like a kiss deprived person a while ago but it doesn't mean that I wanted to do it to anyone but him. My face felt numb with embarrassment.
"Oh sorry." I said after a long break of silence. "Sure. I'll do that. Maybe I'm kiss deprived after all." I said with a smile on my face trying to hide the pain I felt in my heart.
I excused myself for the second time but he stopped me once again by pulling my hand and pushing me on his bed before topping me. I was shocked for a moment. Lalo na ng makita ko ang pagdaan ng sakit sa mga mata nya habang nakadagan sa akin.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say those words. I'm just...damn! I don't kiss you because I feel like I will be out of control when I do that and I will end up doing something that we will both regret in the end!" He confessed and looked away from me revealing his red ears.
Kahit na sobrang kaba ang nararamdaman ko ng mga oras na iyon, hindi ko napigilan ang matawa dahil sa kilig. Hindi pala dapat i-provoke ang mga gaya nya. When all I want is a kiss, what he's thinking about is what will possibly happen next.
"Stop laughing you dummy! I can't control myself when I'm with you Marcielle Anne. That's why I'm always avoiding situations like this." He said in a very dangerous yet sensual tone while lowering his face on mine slowly. "I tried but you keep on provoking me. You coming in my room and letting me see you just woke up in my bed, I'm on my limit."
Naipikit ko ang mga mata ng sakupin ng mainit nyang labi ang mga labi kong tila uhaw sa muling pagdampi ng mga labi nya at malasahan ang tamis nito. He moved his lips in a very sensual way and I could feel the heat coming from his body that he's trying to avoid touching with mine.
He moved away for a second to grab some air and looked at me with a passionate look on his face. "We should stop Marcielle Anne... This is not good. I'm on my limit." He whispered hoarsely as if he's in some kind of pain.
"Hoy Ikatlo." Masuyo kong tawag sa palayaw nya bago sya niyakap ng mahigpit.
"Stop letting that Queen from touching you. I don't like it. You're mine now. And I'm all yours. I'm your real Queen not her." I said before pushing him away even though my body wants his touch. Like him, I don't want us to regret what will happen next.
"I didn't know you're the jealous type." Nang-aasar nyang wika na sinagot ko lang ng irap.
"It's because you're letting her touch you while you keep on brushing me away. Who won't be jealous? Besides, I do love you a lot." Naiiling na niyakap nya na lang ako mula sa likod at sinandal ang baba nya sa balikat ko.
"Can I kiss you once again before you go back to your room?" May pagsuyo nyang tanong na sinagot ko lang ng isang tango.
Vaughn turned me around so I could face him. "I love you Marcielle Anne. I'm yours alone. Keep that in mind okay?" Puno ng pagmamahal nyang wika bago ako muling ginawaran ng masuyong halik sa mga labi ngunit mas mabilis iyon kesa sa nauna.
I stood up and said goodnight cause the room feels so stuffy after those passionate kisses we shared. When I grab the doorknob and about to open it, he stopped me for the third time this evening. I felt his hand on mine and the other hand on my waist, hugging me from the back, resting his head on my shoulder.
"What now?" I feel elated seeing him like this.
"One more thing..." He said while holding me tight. "Whatever happens in the future... Please, forget me not."