It has been a week since my dad passed away. I haven't gone to school. I just don't want to deal with the fake sorrys and the fake hugs. They have never cared about me. The people who do are right here. I have kind of kept to my self this week but can you blame me. I watched a dear friend die, my bestfriend is now a vampire and also died. My dad died. My mom is alive and doesn't love me. I pull my knees up to my chest and continue watching the boys from the window. They are out back they were training but now they are playing around.
Jake and I haven't talked much sense the kiss and all that I just don't have the heart to talk about it right now. I am slightly scared that out of the moment he will regret it. Regret kissing me, regret holding me. I sighed. I grabbed my book. The vampire diaries I open it to begin reading when there is a knock at my door. I glare at the door annoyed. "Who is it" I ask Victoria. Victoria and anna have both been trying there hardest to get me to come out of my room. To eat. I appreciate that they care and I guess feel they have to take on the parental roll now but I just want to be alone for a bit. They others have respected that. They stopped trying after day three.
"Come in," I say. She walks in. She sits on my bed. She sighs. I watch her. "Violet I know you have been through a lot and I understand you are trying to process it all but this is not healthy" She takes a deep breath. "I think you should see someone." She says. I stare at her. "what"? I ask sounding more annoyed than I meant to. She looks at me. "You are 17 you do not know how to handle so much loss in a healthy way and it can consume you. You are still human. I want to see you grow old. To have kids... I want you to live and you are not living it is like you died that day too. I know apart of you did. I lost my dad to his grief after my mom died He stopped talking. Stopped caring. He took his life when it became too much.. I-I worry" She stops talking looking down. I stare at her.
I honestly hadn't let that thought cross my mind. I have before but not now. Not after everything but I feel bad for making her fear that or even them. Do they all fear that? Should I see someone? I wonder to my self. How would I even talk about this to a regular human.? "I'm sorry about your dad and your mom. I don't think I can see someone.. but I understand your worry" I say with a small smile. She sighs. "I am making chicken fried rice you need to eat. It will be ready in a few minutes you will eat it downstairs with everyone.. that is an order, not a request I will carry you down my self if I have to" she says before leaving. I guess sense the heart to heart didn't work we will use force. I sigh.
I go to my bathroom and look at my self in the mirror. I have dark bags under my eyes. Sleeping has been hard. Some nights I do not sleep. My face is pale. I sigh putting on my hoodie and heading down stairs Everyone is at the table. Anna moved in with us a few days after the funeral she got a threating letter we are assuming from Haylie. She is at work right now I assume because she isn't here.
They all look at me and I suddenly feel self-conscious. I sit down at the empty sit between katie and jake. She smiles at me. I know they are here to talk to me they do not need to eat. I sigh looking at the food in front of me not feeling hungry. I look up at all of them watching me. "This is slightly creepy," I say. They stare at me. "How"? Emily ask. "Well in most cases the hunter fattens there pray before eating it. I am the only one eating and yall are watching me.. you all could kill me so". I say lifting an eyebrow at them. Derek has a small smile on his face.
"Your mind is so twisted," Emily says. I pick up my fork and point it at her "But am I wrong"? I ask. This makes them laugh. I do this when I am nervous or want to break tension ill tell a random thing I learned. "If I was going to 'kill' You," She says using air quotes "I would feed you cake or something to make you taste sweet," Emily says smiling at me.
"I am glad you have thought that through," I say laughing lightly. The table is silent all the sudden. "What," I ask. They shake their heads. "I would make the person I was going to kill full of alcohol so I can at least get bussed after the kill," Katie says. I laugh. "Why are we talking about eating people? We are vampiers not cannibals" Jake says laughing and shaking his head.
The front door opens and anna comes in she looks tired and I can tell she has been crying. She looks at all of use and smiles. "You're out of your room"? she says. "Oh shit this isn't my room," I say jokingly and pretend to get up to go back to it. She laughs. She gets a plate getting some food and sitting with us. "Yay, now I am not the only one they are prepping to kill" I say. She raises an eyebrow at me before looking at them.
"hmm, I do see why it would feel that way," Anna says. "We should probably go feed our selves.. you no blood, not a whole human body," Katie says. They get up and leave to go hunt. They still drink out of the blood bags but hunt also so we do not have to go back so close together. Do not want to get caught. Anna and I eat in silence for a while.
"How was work"? I asked. Anna was a meteroglist like my dad she worked the early moring shifts but sense my dad's passing. She was promoted to chef metroglist which she almost turned down. Til we told her she was crazy and should take it. He would want her to. So now she works evenings and late at night.
She sighs "It is still weird to get used to.." She says. I nod. "You did see him every day there for ten plus years. It will take time" I say. She smiles and nods. "I wish we did this when he was alive .. eat dinner together.. I can not remember the last time we even ate dinner together" I say. "He would have loved that but he was also stubborn and it took at lot to get him to come here and say sorry.. you can not regret the things that happen. Having fights or discernments is human and we need human things to stay human" She replys. "Plus we are doing it now and he would be happy.. on another note who cooked tonight this is the best chicken I have ever had"!
She says. I haven't taken a bite yet. I cut the chicken and take a bite. My eyes widening "Holy balls that is" I say. "Victoria made it," I say. "Can she cook dinner for now on?" Anna asks. "It is really that good. I was worried it would be bad." Victoria says. They are back from there hunt. They all have gone off to take showers. I smile and nod.
She smiles. "Good" . We finish our meal. Us three going to the living room. The others joining us. Jake sits in the chair to my left. Beside me is anna, than victora. Emily and derek sit on the other couch. Katie sits in front of me on the floor. Nick beside her. "We should have a movie night with junk food and maybe some adult drinks"? Emily asks. Victoria sighs looking at anna. "They have lived and I guess died and seen more than most adults id feel a little silly to say they can not drink," Anna says.
"I will make the drinks though. You all suck at it" Victoria says laughing as she makes her way to the kitchen. Jake gets up and sits beside me. Smiling at me. I smile back. Ok, that is a good sign, right? He isn't ignoring me. He really was just giving me space. Or at least I hope so. She comes back with our drinks. We all drink and talk for a little bit it is nice. I feel a little buzzed now. I know we still have to do something about my mom.cassie and Haylie but for now, this felt normal and I needed some normal.
Emily puts in a movie. The note book. The guys and I groan. "Hey katie has not seen it, It is a classic so we will watch it and then you guys and Vi can pick another movie," She says glaring at us. I hit katie with a pillow. "What? How was I to know this would happen" ? She asks with a smile on her face.
I knew she did this on purpose! Witch I think to my self. She hits me back with the pillow. I stick my tounge out at her. We laugh. Turning are attention to the tv screen. Emily turns the lights off before siting back down. Jake puts his arm around me pulling me closer to him. "Can we take a walk later and talk"? He whispers to me. I look at him trying to search is eyes or face for a hint of what we are going to talk about. Nothing man, he is to good at that. I nod. He lightly rubs my arm.
I rest my head on his shoulder fighting sleep. I didn't want to sleep. I kept having nightmares of seeing jack dying or one of them dying.. or them killing me. It all felt way way to real. I lean forward resting my head between my hands. Sighing. Luckily they all seemed to really be into the movie. Jake noticed though. He lightly rubs my back. I get up and go to the kitchen to get another drink and stretch.
I look at the the drinks. Screw it. I grab a shot glass and poor some vodka into it. "Going for the heavy stuff"? Jake asks. Also grabbing a shot glass. I pour him some as well. We knock back the shots. Ugh it burns so badly. blah. "How are you feeling," He asks. "ill be ok" I answer. He sighs. "I still remember the first time you drank.. Can you believe that it was almost a year ago" He says before taking another shot. He takes like ten I just stare at him. "Vampires talouranc is higher," He says. I nod. Taking my third. I am definitely feeling buzzed now.
"So want to go on that walk now"? He asks. I nod.
Authors note. I hope you are liking the story so far. A few questions.
Who is your favorite character so far?
Who is your least?
What do you want to see happen?
What has been your favorite part in the story so far?
Who do you ship?
Ok also just to make sure no one is confused yes in this chapter it has been almost a year sense they met so each chapter is either the next day (Which you can tell because it almost picks right up where the last chapter left off) Or it is a few days later which is normally mentioned and sometimes weeks or months... I try to make it obvious but it isn't always easy to do so. Last chapter was a week ago obvi. Three before her dad came to here was a few months.. So anyways thank you for reading. It means so so much to me. PLEASe vote and comment I want your feed back!