"A contract. I would say that is the most fitting word for it."
Today is Tuesday. The day I spend my lunch break with the one and only Sora Yasuraoka. Sora Yasuraoka, who came to the basketball game. I feel like I learned an important lesson because of that. I never give people second chances. That has been one of the rules I lead my life on. Perhaps I was wrong about that. Human beings learn from their mistakes, and many desire to do something different the second time around. I'm sure at least those with enough brain cells to be considered an intelligent being have all considered at least once if one vital moment of their life went differently, how drastically it would change said life.
So therefore I learned something. Giving people a second chance is not necessarily wrong. Humans can adapt and learn, and therefore some should be allowed a chance to make up for previous mistakes. I suppose I should have seen this coming. Never giving second chances goes against one of my other rules. Nothing is ever absolute, things are always subject to change. Yes, my rule was wrong. That rule is now gone, I do not wish to make the same mistake twice, after all I have never made the same mistake twice before, and it seems like a bad habit. That is what it means. Self improvement. Kaizen. Adaptation. Evolution.
So before I go too far off task, I was in a discussion with Yasuraoka-san over how she is to make up for her mistake in return for me giving her a second chance. Of course, I have since decided second chances are not taboo, but this is an opportunity for a social experiment. I think it would benefit me greatly to manipulate and watch what happens, rather than allow her to just return to her normal life.
"A contract?" Yasuraoka-san seems somewhat confused. She understands what I am saying, but is unable to comprehend what exactly I am implying.
"Yes, a contract."
Yasuraoka-san tilts her head sideways. She looks more attractive when she does that. I wonder if she does it subconsciously. Yes, it must be subconsciously. She probably thinks I have little to no interest in other humans, and she wouldn't do that purposefully to someone it has no affect on.
"So? What is this contract?"
Oh, right. I suppose I have to explain.
"In general, the main reason I interact with people is to gain more knowledge about how different parts of society work, and acquire a range of different perspectives."
"So I'm a social experiment?"
Perfectly put.
"You could say that. Going with that analogy, you were a very difficult experiment, and the first one that I have failed so badly. If anything, that has only made me more interested in you, as it shows a gap in my understanding of society. I don't have a perspective that allows me to understand you. As such, I'm going to conduct a more direct 'experiment'. You are going to complete three tasks that I set you. I can give them to you anytime. It could be today, tomorrow, or next spring."
"And if I fail to complete a task, then we never talk to each other again, right?"
"Right."
For some reason that just seemed wrong. A world where I don't talk to Yasuraoka Sora would be much more boring, or so I feel. I imagine I would be very lucky to find someone as… captivating as she is to me again. I've never found a person that I cannot understand once I get close to them other than her. I got so close to her that she actually knows more about me than anyone else in this world, even my parents.
Yes, I feel like I would be making a huge mistake if I ever let her get away from me. That's probably why I gave her this second chance in the first place. Somewhere, subconsciously, I had already realised that I didn't want to be separated from her.
"I guess you have something in mind for the first task then?" Yasuraoka-san inquires.
Of course I do. Of course she knows better than anyone that I already have a first task, as well as a probable second, and a probable third laid out. No, I'm not telling you. Wouldn't that ruin any entertainment you might feel from this?
"Of course. Your first task of the contract is to find friends."
She looks at me for a second.
"Huh?"
I can see her calculating through her head. Her calculation doesn't seem to add up. Clearly this was not what she expected at all. Or maybe she had something else in mind that she had convinced herself was going to be the task.
"Sorry, what?"
I smile. I didn't think I would be able to catch her out like this. If anything, I thought she would expect this. I admitted that I more or less see her as a social experiment. If she is a social experiment, then one possible thing I could do would be to see if I could enforce a change in her societal status. From bored loner, to loner with few friends. Only a slight improvement, but hey we can't have everything.
"I want you to find friends. Let's say three or four would be an adequate number."
She seems to think I'm joking. No, she just remembered that I don't joke. It isn't very befitting for a matter as serious as this. I can tell from her face now. She realises that there is no point fighting this. If she wants to stay with me, she will have to do whatever tasks I set her. There will be no arguments or room for negotiation, she has lost that right. And she understands that immediately, without me having to say anything. That is what makes her so fascinating. Anyone else I would have to go through a tedious step by step explanation, but she understands very quickly without any instruction. It amazes me. It makes me think she might even be smarter than me. You should consider that the highest of praises. I hold myself very highly, perhaps too high at times, so to admit that there is even a chance someone is better than me in even one aspect is a huge blow to my ego.
"I see. Is there a time limit of some sort?"
I've already thought this one through.
"I would consider this very loose, as changing circumstances may cause delays, but I would expect this to be completed by Christmas time."
"I see."
So it is decided. Yasuraoka Sora will find some friends, and perhaps learn to open herself up to others. Or at least, that is my reasoning for making her do this. I need her to open up more, as that might make it easier for me to understand her. It is not like I want her to revert back to her old self. Even though she used to be relatively popular and well regarded from what I hear, she always seems unhappy when she mentions her past to me.
It's a common issue popular kids face. If they're not the 'leader', the 'alpha', they are forced to fit in with the group. Those that can't fit in for whatever reason find themselves outcast, and left to hang out with those that could never even remotely fit in. Yasuraoka Sora lasted a long time in that environment. But something broke her mask. She found herself unable to lie to herself anymore, and distanced herself from her former friends.
I'm not sure what caused her to have this 'breakdown'. Likely stress, but its' source remains somewhat of a mystery. I know that Yasuraoka-san has issues with her family, but from how she talks about it, it seems that that was caused by this 'breakdown', rather than being a cause of the 'breakdown' itself. I believe that solving this would be a huge step to understanding Yasuraoka-san. The 'breakdown' is what lead to the series of changes and events that lead her to where she is now. Understanding its' cause is certainly key to unravelling her reasons, and finally understanding her.
Sorry to disappoint, but its' time to go back to reality. I mean the realm of boredom. I know my inner thoughts are way more entertaining than this. Class 2-A. You'd think for the highest stream class in the year group there would be some people who are at least half as interesting as Yasuraoka-san, but I think you would find yourself disappointed. I know I find myself disappointed.
At the forefront of this disappointment is the lovely, well-meaning, but seemingly fake Shimotsuki Tomoyo. I think I mentioned her before. She seems a bit like how I imagine Yasuraoka-san would be if she had never had her 'breakdown'. A teenager constantly desperate to prove that she fits in with her clique of popular teenagers by throwing away any semblance of a unique personality and blending into her bland surroundings. Boring.
Nothing of interest to be seen here. The only time I speak to her with any real conviction is when she talks about politics. Her one semi-interesting feature, however her ideas are extremely misguided and warped by popular media and socialist ideas that it bemuses me. It is fine to be a socialist, but to me personally, the whole idea of helping those in bad situations just because doesn't make sense. A socialist would give a starving man a cooked fish, complete seasoning. I would give him a fishing pole. If you give them something without them having to work for it, why would they ever want to work to get out of their situation, considering your making their situation relatively sustainable. I, personally, can't understand why that would be a good idea.
You might know this already, but I meet with Yasuraoka-san on Tuesday lunchtimes. That means when I get back to class, fifth period is about to begin. Mathematics if I recall correctly. I believe we are studying geometry. I sit near the middle in the second to last row from the front. Shimotsuki-san sits next to me, there will be no avoiding her. It feels like a mistake, but it was unavoidable. There was a spare desk next to me, so when she transferred schools there was no helping it. Therefore, it was not my mistake.
Currently she is talking with her friends from the classroom. Unimportant-san, unimportant-san, and unimportant-san. Their talking about the trade deal issue. It seems to be all anyone who wants to pretend they care about the world is talking about. So everyone except Yasuraoka-san.
If you don't know what the trade deal issue is, you've probably been living in your room, playing games all day. It all seems like a stupid mistake to me. The prime minister attempted to negotiate a free trade deal with the Westphalia Pact, which is a bad idea in itself, as the thirty or so member states can rarely agree on anything. And when you add on top of that the ire that deal would bring from the Anglo-Russian empire, it just doesn't make any sense. Anglo-Russian warships have posturing near Japanese territory and troops are building up on the border with India. Of course, it is very unlikely that a war of any kind will occur. It's not economical.
Shimotsuki-san asks me for my opinion. So I tell exactly what is going to happen. This stand-off will continue for a few more weeks. Westphalia and Anglo-Russia will come to some kind of agreement to tone down the scale of the trade deal, and Japan will be forced to go along with it. After that, the troops will be withdrawn and everyone will act like nothing ever happened because it might as well not have. That's why this world sickens me. Nothing will ever change, no matter how much effort you put in.
But maybe, just maybe, there can be an exception to that rule.
After maths, the day's final period is history. It would seem our new topic is a study of the Treaty of Westphalia, and the founding thirteen states of what is now the collective known as the Westphalia Pact. I feel extremely exhausted just from having to listen to the teacher. This is a topic that I have personally studied meticulously. I find it fascinating how thirteen states had banded together, some of whom had been fighting less than a year previously, to form a strong alliance to face the growing power of the Anglo-Russian empire. It shows just how powerful the Anglo-Russians were then, and it makes you wonder how different it would be today had that alliance never been formed.
"Hey, Tohsaka-kun."
Please, get me out of here.
"What is it, Shimotsuki-san?"
Can she not take a hint? I thought I had made it clear over the last few weeks that I have no interest in her anymore. So why is she about to ask me to go somewhere after school? This is infuriating. Perhaps her intelligence is even lower than I had thought.
It may even be below average.
"If you're not busy with anything after school, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the mall with me and my friends?"
Uhh. I almost feel filthy. She has close to zero tact. Her tone is completely wrong, it's all too obvious. Not that it matters, because even though I have no interest in going, I wouldn't be able to anyway. There is a student council meeting after school today.
"No, I'm sorry but I have a student council meeting, and then tutoring. So I won't be able to."
"Huh. I wouldn't have thought you needed tutoring… Umm, can I help you?"
Shimotsuki-san is looking past me. Someone standing behind me. It is clearly someone she doesn't recognise, from the looking on her face. I wonder who it is. I doubt there is any need for me to turn around, as undoubtedly this will be of little to no interest to me.
"Sorry, to bother you, I was just waiting for Sei-chan to finish talking to you."
No way.
"Huh? Sei-chan?"
"Oh, I guess he'd prefer I didn't call him that in front of his classmates, right, Sei-chan?"
Why is she here? The perpetual loner, Yasuraoka Sora is in my classroom. I am at a loss for words. This would have been the last thing I ever would have predicted to happen. Somewhere below 0.05% chance of happening. Of course, Yasuraoka-san has always been the only person I regularly fail to calculate correctly. After all, I find her fascinating for a reason.
It's not just me and Shimotsuki-san staring at her. At least half the class is already looking at her. And the other half has already left. Yasuraoka-san's body language seems confident, but as someone who knows her well, and knows her tells, it is obvious she doesn't want to be here. In fact, she wants to be anywhere but here. So why is she here? I can't understand it at all. There is no reason that Yasuraoka Sora would ever leave herself open and vulnerable like this. Obviously it has some connection, that much is clear just from the fact she is here without even mentioning what she has said so far. After all, she doesn't know anyone else in this class. She looks so out of place, most people wouldn't do this, let alone a recluse like Yasuraoka-san.
I realise we've been staring at her for a while. For a moment I feel sorry for her. At least, I think that's what it is. I suppose it must be emotionally terrifying to be judged by this many people at once. As the one person who actually knows her, I imagine I'm supposed to be the one to talk first. And since she has already said aloud that she knows me, any repercussions of knowing her are already on their way. Not that it will matter anyway, because everyone respects me. It would be near impossible for something like this to change that. This incident will not change the fact that I am the single-most influential student in the school. So I guess I have no excuse not to talk to her.
"What are you doing here, Yasuraoka-san?"
She exhales, and a very relieved smile comes to her face.
"I had something I needed to talk to you about."
I see. Except I really don't. What is it that Yasuraoka-san finds so important that she would out herself like this? Probably nothing, which is why none of this makes any sense. No matter how you look at it, this is out of character for Yasuraoka-san. Even she doesn't want to be here. I don't really have a choice. I have no reason to refuse her, and to be honest, this gives me an escape from having to talk to Shimotsuki-san.
"Actually we were in the middle of a conversation. Couldn't you wait until we're done?"
You have to be joking. Shimotsuki-san, you're an idiot.
"Sorry Shimotsuki-san, but this is something very important. Excuse us."
That might have been heavy-handed, but I'm not wasting any more time here. Normally I would have liked to handle that smoother, but for Yasuraoka-san to actually come in to my classroom like this, it likely is something important. Or at least I would hope so, otherwise everything I thought I knew about Yasuraoka-san is wrong. For her to come out like this, it is almost certainly something important.
*
I follow Yasuraoka-san outside of the classroom. It really has got me wondering. What could it possibly be that has got to come to my attention immediately? Yasuraoka-san walks out of the classroom, and makes to talk to me almost directly outside.
"No, not here," I urge. It would be unwise to have a conversation right outside my classroom. Even a normal one would garner the attention of half the class, and this is no normal conversation. The mysterious girl whisks away the Student Council President. The entire class is bound to be listening at the door, if we had our conversation right there.
"I have to go to a student council meeting about the Christmas event. We can talk on the way there."
Student council meetings take place in an empty classroom on the ground floor of the main block. My homeroom class is on the floor above, a short walk but hopefully long enough to listen to whatever it is Yasuraoka-san is dying to tell me. I steer her in the direction of the stairs, walking at a purposefully slow pace, as I imagine something this important will take longer than the distance of a flight of stairs.
"So? What do you have on your mind?"
Yasuraoka-san looks down at her feet while she walks. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I've seen her walk properly. She is always in the classroom well before me on Tuesdays, so I never get to see her walking. Her gait is slightly uneven, almost as if one knee is slightly bent in compared to the other. Her back isn't straight; in fact, it looks like it must be painful to walk like that.
Yasuraoka-san seems unsure of herself. No, that's incorrect. She is sure of what she is doing, but she is unsure of how to word it correctly.
"I guess I actually have two things on my mind… Mm, it'd be better to start with that."
I almost sighed audibly, "what is it, Yasuraoka-san?"
"Oh, uh, for the thing… the contract. I was wondering if you count as a friend."
I nearly stopped walking. It's not that I hadn't thought of it myself, but I didn't find myself expecting Yasuraoka-san to ask me it herself. Me? Her friend? She is the only person in the world who knows I don't actually have any friends. A friend is someone that you trust, getting along with, enjoy being around, and you respect as being on an equal footing with you. There isn't anyone like that I have met. Except for her, maybe. But, I'm still not sure I could consider her my friend. It doesn't really seem like me.
"I'll think about it."
That came out different when I put it in words. Sometimes my mouth does that. I wonder if that means that is how I really feel, or if my mouth has a will of its' own. Considering how unlikely the first option is, either seems viable to me.
"And also, I want to talk to you more."
My vision went blurry for a second. It took my brain longer than it should have to register that I had stopped moving. Now this I hadn't seen coming. Yasuraoka-san, you continue to surprise me. What is that even supposed to mean? She wants to act more like friends? That seems to make sense. But nothing about this makes sense. I really have no clue. Not the slightest idea why Yasuraoka-san would ask this.
"What do you mean by that?"
I choose my words very carefully and deliberately. It is rare that I do not understand a situation, and as such I'm not used to dealing with such a situation. Therefore, the best thing for me to do is gain an understanding.
"I suppose it means I want to be better friends with you."
So I was correct. But that doesn't really make sense to me. She knows I don't really have the time; after all it is important for me to pretend I enjoy the company of normal kids my age. And Yasuraoka-san certainly doesn't fit this category. In fact, she would probably hate having to talk to people like Shimotsuki-san all the time.
"I know I'm being selfish, but you're the person who spending time with is the most enjoyable for me. And I suppose you could say it is a way for me to find new friends."
"There's nothing wrong with being selfish. In fact, everyone is being selfish every second they breath. And I can't exactly argue that it would be a good way for you to find new friends, even though most of the people I talk to aren't going to be of interest to you."
I sigh. It seems I've talked myself into this solution. Letting her do as she intends is what I'm leaning towards, and there isn't any real issue with doing so. I could explain it away to anyone, after all I'm a very convincing liar, and it isn't really going to matter what they think, since I have plenty of information that could be exposed if anyone so much as makes fun of her.
What am I saying? That isn't like me, going straight to the extreme. Perhaps I shouldn't let Yasuraoka-san do what she wants after all. Being around an irregularity like her is making me think irrationally. But the whole reason I'm interested in her, is because of her irregularity, her uniqueness. In a world of people who can be fitted in to neat categories and subcategories, Yasuraoka Sora has a category all to herself. A rarity among rarities. Therefore, I would have to judge that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
"Fine. You can come talk to me anytime you want."
Yasuraoka-san smiles after I say that. Its' hard to judge if that smile is full of happiness, joy, relief, or even sadness. That most likely means it is a swelling mixture of all those emotions. What's for certain though, is that her smile is heavy with all the troubles that fill that black mind of hers.