The CEO Circus: When the Game War Becomes Corporate Telecatch
There's nothing like a good old post-massacre interview to pretend that everything is under control. After the overwhelming success of Alexandre Pargaz 10 and the lukewarm reception of Phame 8, the CEOs of the two gaming giants, Carpilo (Lekox 2.0) and Pedrinho (Cruel Territories), sat down for a civilized conversation—or at least to pretend that they don't want to strangle each other live on air.
Carpilo: The King of the World (or at least of the Gaming Industry)
Asked about Alexandre Pargaz 10's landslide victory, Carpilo responded with something between an Oscar speech and a veiled provocation worthy of an anime villain:
"We knew we could win, but not even in my wildest dreams did I think the beating would be so great. I want to thank everyone who believed in us. And also Cruel Territories, because without the mediocrity of Phame 8, perhaps this victory wouldn't be as sweet."
Regarding the failure of the rival game, Carpilo was magnanimous insincere:
"We respect Cruel Territories, of course. They tried. They tried hard. And they failed. But that's life, right? The important thing is not to give up. Who knows what the next one will be?"
And what about the plans for the future?
"Well, now that we've proven that we dominate the industry, we want to expand our universe. We're going to keep innovating, because unlike some companies, we're not content with 'more of the same'."
Pedrinho: The CEO Who Holds Back Tears on National Television
Meanwhile, on Cruel Territories' side, Pedrinho tried to maintain his composure like a coach who has just seen his team get thrashed in the World Cup final:
"Phame 8 wasn't what we expected, but that's part of it. Life is full of ups and downs."
Translation: "Someone, please, turn off the lights in the office before the shareholders kill us."
Regarding his rival's overwhelming success, Pedrinho gritted his teeth and said:
"Congratulations to Lekox 2.0. Alexandre Pargaz 10 is a great game and deserves recognition."
Translation: "Yes, yes, everyone saw it, you guys are amazing. Now stop rubbing it in our faces."
And what can we expect from Cruel Territories in the future?
"We will learn from our mistakes and come back even stronger!"
Translation: "Please don't sell your shares. We still have a plan... I think."
Conclusion: The War Continues, But the Victory Was Humiliating
The truth is that Carpilo left Russia as a desperate exile and returned as a gaming emperor, while Pedrinho is trying to explain to investors why "500 billion in sales" sounds like an absolute failure when his competitor arrives with 890 billion and a sadistic smile on his face.
The gaming battle is not over yet, but one thing is certain: Cruel Territories will need more than a "we are learning from our mistakes" to get revenge. Because, the way things are going, Carpilo is already thinking about Alexandre Pargaz 11, and this time he may not even need Russia to annihilate the competition.
The War of Games: Now with Triple-Trillion Dollar Explosions!
If you thought the rivalry between Lekox 2.0 and Cruel Territories was going to cool down, congratulations for being completely wrong. With the release of Alexandre Pargaz 11 and Phame, the war of games has reached such surreal financial levels that the GDP of some countries can now be measured in copies sold.
Alexandre Pargaz 11: Philosophy, Explosions and 11 Trillion Dollars
Carpilo, now more confident than ever, has delivered a game that makes you question your own existence while shooting at everything that moves. With a dark and complex plot, Alexandre Pargaz 11 has won over critics, gamers and even existentialist philosophers who have never touched a video game. The game has already grossed 11 trillion dollars, proving that the public loves to think about morality... as long as they can blow something up in the process.
Phame: Why Cruel Territories Still Has a Huge Safe
Cruel Territories has decided that if it can't win through innovation, it will win through the brute force of money. Phame, the new title in the franchise, is polished, refined and shining so much that it looks like a game made inside a Swiss jewelry store. With absurdly realistic graphics and gameplay so smooth that it makes melted butter seem rough, the game has reached 30 trillion in sales—that is, three times more than Alexandre Pargaz 11, because money can still buy almost everything, even moral victory.
A Tie? Only If You Don't Count the Number of Golden Cars
Although the numbers suggest a technical tie in the gaming war, the truth is that no one wants to admit defeat. Carpilo pretends not to care about Cruel Territories' numbers, while Pedrinho, CEO of the rival company, tries to convince everyone that selling three times as much as the competitor "doesn't necessarily mean we won."
What's Next?
The fate of this rivalry is still up in the air, but we can already predict a few things for the next chapters of this billion-dollar soap opera:
✅ Games that are increasingly insane, because the level of exaggeration has already surpassed any reasonable limit
✅ Graphics that will be so realistic that you will need to sign a contract not to sue the company for emotional trauma
✅ Scripts so philosophical that the dialogues will be narrated by a crying sociology professor
✅ Studios spending unimaginable fortunes to create "the ultimate experience"—that is, a skip tutorial button that actually works
✅ Happy players watching this spectacle as if it were a gladiator fight, while both studios swim in money like Uncle Scrooge
In the end, the war continues. But if there's anyone who really wins from this, it's the players—and the shareholders, of course.