Once our young people adopt a certain way of thinking, it often determines their life's direction, and perhaps they won't even realize that their thinking has led to their destiny until they are old. The stories of Xiaodong and Yuanzi.
Xiaodong is a boy whose family background is not worse than Zhouzhou's, and might even be a bit better. However, he is the only one who could have stayed at the bank but didn't, and it's still because of his family background. This child is humorous and not unpleasant. It is said that his family had coordinated the relationship for him to stay, but in the end, his retired cadre grandfather did not allow him to remain at the bank. After graduation, he went to a command college in Nanjing with a red-headed document, pursued further studies for a year, obtained a postgraduate degree, and then returned to his hometown to become a soldier. The unit is the logistics department, a very comfortable and pleasant place. He was allocated a house and found an officer as his wife.
There's an episode I have to mention. Xiaodong has always liked a female classmate he interned with. Of course, after Xiaodong went to Nanjing, their relationship continued. Later, when Xiaodong returned, his parents learned about this relationship. The girl is not bad, but the result of the family meeting of Xiaodong's parents is only one: they firmly do not allow it. The reason is that the girl's family is from a county town, and it will not be helpful for Xiaodong's future development. For this, Xiaodong had a big argument with his parents, but the continuous family meetings and pressure, including Xiaodong's parents not allowing him to bring the girl home, lasted for several months. Eventually, Xiaodong's girlfriend proposed to break up. Then Xiaodong started a series of blind dates, and finally, he fell in love with a girl who is the granddaughter of his grandfather's comrade-in-arms and also in the army. This girl's family background is even better than Xiaodong's, and her family has several houses. According to Xiaodong, they are now living in different houses in turn, and they have already taken wedding photos. The girl is now working in the China Development Bank, and Xiaodong is still in the army. They only contact by phone, and he said that after getting married, he will change his job and go to the government agency. When asked how he feels, he said he doesn't think it's anything special. But from Yuanzi's perspective, fortunately, he listened to his father's words. If he had been with that classmate, perhaps Yuanzi's path would be the same as Xiaodong's. Xiaodong likes to tell me: "Listen to Dad to have enough to eat."
Yuanzi is an extremely intelligent child from an ordinary rural family. This child is very smart, or perhaps one could say he is shrewd. When he was interning, he had a sweet mouth, which is my impression of him. During the internship in our place, he initially wanted to pursue Zhouzhou, but unfortunately, he didn't succeed. Instead, he pursued a girl from the same city. During the internship, the two of them held hands. Before graduation, Yuanzi took the girl back home. Before graduation, the parents of both sides met. Right after graduation, Yuanzi used more than 100,000 yuan from his parents to make a down payment on a house and then naturally got married to the girl. They graduated in July and got married in August. At that time, Xiaopang and Xiaodong were very envious of Yuanzi, but this envy didn't last long.
Because after getting married, Yuanzi's parents urged him to become a father, and of course, Yuanzi's parents-in-law also thought the same. Soon, Yuanzi had a house and a child. Recently, when Xiaodong and Xiaopang talked about Yuanzi, there was no longer envy, but only sighs. They said that if Yuanzi hadn't listened to his family, he wouldn't be so tired now. Alas... The evaluation of both of them is: Alas...
After graduation, Yuanzi found a job in a large state-owned enterprise as a promoter, which is a marketing-related position. His income is decent because this child is very lively and intelligent. However, due to the repeated demands of his family, his wife got pregnant shortly after starting work. As a result, she quit her job and waited to have the baby. In this way, Yuanzi could still manage. The baby was born, and Yuanzi became a father at the earliest. However, Yuanzi also began to understand what it means to be unable to bear it. Yuanzi has a mortgage. Now that he has a child, he is facing a very realistic problem. After his wife gave birth, a senior family member is needed to take care of the child. From the moment his wife gave birth, it has exceeded Yuanzi's affordability. Perhaps Yuanzi should have had a child later, then it might have been better. But since the child is born, it needs to be raised. The child was originally the crystallization of love, but it has become the beginning of Yuanzi's unbearable burden.
Xiaopang said: After Yuanzi's child was born, Xiaopang went to the hospital to see the baby. Yuanzi's wife said that they needed to hire a maternity matron, and the price is about 3,500 yuan in this city. Generally, a maternity matron is hired for at least two months. The current situation is that Yuanzi bought a house with a loan. His salary is used to pay the mortgage and support the whole family's living expenses. Now that the child is born, everything from milk powder, diapers, clothes, etc., all the family expenses are deducted from Yuanzi's salary... Yuanzi really can't afford this maternity matron fee. His parents said they helped with the down payment and have no more money. His parents-in-law said nice words but couldn't provide any money either. What to do with the child? It still needs to be taken care of. Giving birth to the child cost more than 10,000 yuan, leaving Yuanzi with no extra money. He can only ask his mother and mother-in-law to take turns coming from their hometown to take care of the child. Because the house they bought is small and there is not enough space, they come once for a week. Coming from their hometown, either his father is left alone at home or his father-in-law is left alone. Whether it is his mother or mother-in-law, they are both worried. If the family is wealthy, the birth of a child is a beautiful thing for the family. But if there is no money and the child is born, then the parents still have to come from their hometown to take care of the child. This is the fuse of an explosive package....
At first, the joy of the child's birth could still be maintained. But as the wife finished her postpartum recovery, the mother and mother-in-law took turns to take care of the child. Also, because Yuanzi really had no money, every expense was a burden. The mortgage, property management fees, the child's milk powder, clothes, everything needed money. Yuanzi, you are still a child. Becoming a father, your affordability is still too weak. Both families, one from a rural area and the other from a small town, have no money to support. Conflicts began to emerge three months after the child was born.
Yuanzi's wife wanted the elders to take care of the child so that she could find a job to ease the pressure. But the mother-in-law refused, thinking that the child should not go to work before it is half a year old. If she goes to work, she might get sick. Thus, there was a dispute. The mother-in-law began to complain that Yuanzi's family has no money and Yuanzi has no ability. How much ability can an ordinary child who has just worked for one year have? The family's money has been used for the down payment. Thus, the conflicts began to accumulate.... Everything is about money, money, money!
Fortunately, Yuanzi's wife withstood the pressure and found a job. But because she has no connections or background, she only found a job that pays a thousand yuan or so. But it is still a support for the family. However, because of this thousand-yuan job, because of going to work, the child has to be taken care of by the elders at home. In this way, the elders will be very tired after taking care of the child for a day. After work, Yuanzi is tired, and the wife is also tired. Thus, disputes began again over washing dishes and diapers. A woman's happiness lies in comparisons. Yuanzi's wife began to feel unbalanced. Why is life so difficult after giving birth to a son? She squeezes the bus in the hot sun at noon, almost exhausted to feed the child and have a bite to eat, and then has to rush to work in the afternoon. At this time, Yuanzi has become a useless person in Yuanzi's wife's eyes. Any classmate's boyfriend or any colleague's husband is more capable than Yuanzi.
In order to earn more, Yuanzi keeps running around outside, but how much more can he earn? It is still not enough to cover the expenses, and he also begins to complain. He begins to complain that his mother-in-law urged them to have a child, and now he is so tired.
At this time, Yuanzi's mother was taking turns to take care of the child. Yuanzi's father at home may have not eaten well or something, which caused pneumonia. Admitting that pneumonia is a troublesome thing that requires hospitalization. Thus, Yuanzi's mother had to go home, and the mother-in-law came to take care of the child. The mother-in-law felt that it was not her turn, so she was a bit resentful when she came to take care of the child. Naturally, after taking care of the child, she was more complaining. Things are so coincidental. A business deal at Yuanzi's unit was taken by a colleague, and he lost several thousand yuan. That day, he was in a bad mood. When he got home, his wife and mother-in-law had finished eating. Sorry, Yuanzi, there is nothing left. If you want to eat, cook it yourself or go buy it. Yuanzi had to cook by himself. At this time, Yuanzi's mother called and asked how Yuanzi was. Yuanzi said he was cooking. As a result, Yuanzi's mother called Yuanzi's wife's cell phone and said, "He is so tired. Why don't you cook for him? Do you want to exhaust him?" Just because of this, Yuanzi's wife also cried and shouted, "I'm also tired. I've had enough." Then Yuanzi's mother-in-law took the phone and questioned Yuanzi's mother why she made Yuanzi's wife cry. Immediately, the argument changed from a phone argument to a face-to-face argument between Yuanzi, his mother-in-law, and his wife. This was the first outbreak. After the argument, Yuanzi went out and called Xiaodong, saying: "Xiaodong, I really envy you for listening to your father's words and not choosing that girl." Then Xiaodong listened as Yuanzi cried.
Once the conflict starts, it doesn't disappear just because you stop arguing. The conflict is still there. It's just suppressed temporarily suppress, but if it can't be suppressed, it will continue to explode....
After Yuanzi's father's pneumonia got better, his mother continued to take care of the child, thinking that things could be calm. But who knew that because of the previous argument, it was about to explode again. Once Yuanzi got off work and went downstairs to fetch water. When he went upstairs, he found that his wife and mother were not talking to each other. When it was time to eat, his mother did not eat and turned her back to the dining table, looking at the child. Yuanzi asked his mother why she didn't eat. After asking several times, his mother did not speak. Yuanzi went over and pulled his mother, and saw that his mother was in tears. As a result, Yuanzi seemed to understand that it must be related to his wife, so he asked his wife what happened. At first, the wife did not speak. Yuanzi shouted loudly: "An elder is taking care of your child for you. What are you not satisfied with? Making an elder cry. Did you go to college for nothing?" With this sentence, the wife threw down her chopsticks and started crying loudly, saying that she had had enough and was exhausted! Then the mother also cried and said that she had saved money for a lifetime, only to be blamed. Then she started arguing with the daughter-in-law.