As long as you don't engage in vices like eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, and having improper relationships, your life won't be too bad... Why do we go to school? Why do we read books? Why do we study hard? Getting into a good university and finding a good job is what everyone, including the author, has been hearing since childhood. It is also a sentence that parents repeatedly nag about. However, even after graduating and working, the author still hasn't figured out the inevitable connection within this.
Since the establishment of the imperial examination system in the Sui Dynasty in China, as long as the ancients worked hard to participate in the imperial examination, they would become the staff of the ancient court once they passed. The court would give you an official position and treatment. Although starting from the bottom, due to different abilities, basically for the past two thousand years, this treatment has been very generous. The way the ancients persuaded people to read: "In books, there is a house of gold; in books, there is a beauty as fair as jade." When the author read this sentence, he realized how enlightened the ancient education was. Why do we read? The imperial examination system is fair to you. As long as you study hard and participate in the imperial examination, both materially and in terms of marriage, there are promises from the country! Studying hard can change your status and your social class. The ancients' education emphasized the house of gold and the beauty as fair as jade, which is very straightforward.
In our society, there is no need to trace back too far. From the resumption of the college entrance examination in 1977 to the cancellation of unified job allocation in 1996, it is actually still a variable talent system of the imperial examination system. At that time, if you studied hard, got into a good university, and graduated, the country would uniformly allocate jobs. There was no major problem with education because the credibility of the country was still guaranteed. However, after 1996, things went bad. Schools began to expand enrollment, and the country cancelled unified job allocation. Since then, university education has actually not been that kind of guarantee system, but has become an elimination system. From then on, being able to get into university is not a big problem in the process of reading. The real big problem is how parents explain to you the meaning of reading, what the main purpose of this meaning is, and why? The real role of learning - to accumulate knowledge, exercise thinking, thereby enhancing ability, and acquiring more knowledge that the people around you do not have, cannot, and do not understand. Because of this, you can do things that your parents, the people around you, and the people around you cannot do. The more knowledge you accumulate and the more thinking skills you master, the more you will stand out. Unfortunately, most parents cannot understand that the purpose of learning is to eliminate those who do not learn, and the purpose of studying well is to eliminate those who do not study well. Education, primary school, junior high school, high school, university, and graduate school, are actually a perfect elimination system step by step. It is easy to understand. If the parents' cultural level is not high, you can't even handle your child's junior high school mathematics. How can you talk about learning methods and ideas? How can you form good thinking habits in this way? If the parents' education is: "Son, you think this problem is solved like this. What will happen when you encounter that problem? What will happen next? What are the conditions?..." Even if the child is slow, he or she can learn to think in this atmosphere. Moreover, how could a couple with such an educational method have a stupid child? The real role of more than ten years of learning - to accumulate knowledge, exercise thinking, and thereby enhance ability. The real purpose is to establish good thinking habits, rather than how many points you get in your studies or which school you go to.... Analyzing the underlying reasons
Let's get back to the point and start analyzing....
Among his peers, I think Xiaopang is the most promising. Why? Because of Xiaopang's father. Although Xiaopang didn't stay in the bank, even though he also wanted to have an easy job there, Xiaopang's father's education has given Xiaopang a material environment without worries, so Xiaopang is happy every day. Why are some children cheerful while others are taciturn? Can you expect a child whose parents complain all day that there is not enough money, that the living expenses at the university are too expensive, and that it is not easy to earn money to be sunny and brilliant inside? Because children who are rich in material conditions, or who have never been under financial pressure from their parents for normal living expenses, are generally more cheerful. On the contrary, if parents keep complaining while educating their children and saying that everything is expensive, I am honored to tell this parent that you are instilling your incompetence into your child's bones.
Zhiguo performed well. Why, after being a department leader for six months, was no one willing to recommend him in the end? Is it because the gift he gave was junk? I don't think so. It is because Zhiguo values small profits and is stuck on those two boxes of cigarettes. It is not a big deal in itself, but competing for small profits will damage interpersonal relationships and make the people around you have opinions and views on you. And the damage to interpersonal relationships is bound to affect your gains and losses in major interests. In this way, the gains and losses are not worth it in the end. It is like "picking up sesame seeds but losing watermelons". The cigarettes are a small matter. Because the department leader classified Zhiguo as: someone who loves to take small advantages. Thus, he is not willing to say a good word. I have deeply considered this problem. Why did Zhiguo take the cigarettes? Why didn't Xiaodong and Xiaopang take them? Why did Zhiguo have the idea to take them? Because in Zhiguo's mind, "Zhonghua cigarettes" are good things that his family would not buy. Because they are just there, because there are many, and because his father has not smoked them many times, he took them. In the final analysis, it is still because of the family's poverty. In terms of character, it is not necessarily that Xiaopang or Xiaodong are more noble than Zhiguo. Why wouldn't they casually take the cigarettes? Because perhaps Zhonghua cigarettes are not something they really want in their eyes. Xiaodong's father is a deputy department-level official. It is estimated that the cigarettes he smokes should be better than Zhonghua. And Xiaopang's family runs a furniture city and should often entertain and give gifts. Xiaopang's subconscious thinking is that this cigarette can be bought casually at home, so Xiaodong and Xiaopang will not take it. In Zhiguo's consciousness, this is a good cigarette that his father has not smoked many times. The deep-seated reason for the problem is not the quality, but the psychological value that the person sees in this cigarette, which highlights the problem of the psychological value that the family can provide to the child. It is Zhiguo's psychological value that made him take the cigarette; also, this child Zhiguo is not stupid. He knows etiquette and knows to give gifts. Why was the gift thrown away? The reason is still the psychological value. Zhiguo's psychological value thinks that the item is good, that the gift is very good, or that Zhiguo's parents already think it is quite valuable. But with the psychological value of their department manager, it is a psychological value that can be thrown away.
Zhiguo's grades and performance in school are better than Xiaodong's and Xiaopang's. Why is there such a big contrast when life is just beginning? Zhiguo also treats guests and gives gifts, and so does Xiaopang. Why are the results different? Maybe some people will say that it is because Xiaopang is rich and Zhiguo is not. In fact, it is not such a simple reason as the quality of the gifts. There is a deeper problem of the skills of being a person, doing things, and dealing with people. Zhiguo treats guests by himself and gives gifts by himself. Of course, maybe Zhiguo consulted his family, but the sad problem is that Zhiguo has no support:
First, when Zhiguo invites people to dinner, he chose the wrong environment and the wrong objects. You want to get a job. At this stage, the meaning of a job is clear to everyone. Zhiguo, you are too young. Your monthly living expenses may be just the price of a bottle of wine for others.
Second, when Zhiguo gives gifts, it is good that you have this awareness, but you ignore the balance of the psychological value of both sides. Your gift will not work. In fact, the sadness of Zhiguo is that there is almost no support from his family. In this process, Zhiguo's psychological value is still the psychological value of his parents in the countryside, and the way of dealing with people in the countryside. Because of his age and experience, there is no way. If parents are unable to guide, the result will be a series of setbacks. Maybe the child is good, but society is not so simple. It is very realistic. Maybe among children of the same age, comparing children simply, Zhiguo is very good. But our society is like this. People are very realistic. Zhiguo, everyone will look down on others; Zhiguo, why did your treating and gift-giving not have the expected effect? It is because your psychological value is too low; Zhiguo, why can Zhou Zhou invite the bank president to dinner? Because the value behind Zhou Zhou is to be the director of a provincial-level unit. These are things that you, Zhiguo, cannot compare with. Maybe you don't understand this now.
Xiaopang's way of handling things
Xiaopang's father is very reasonable and understands that his child's affairs are also very important. Xiaopang's father specially came here to give gifts to Xiaopang's supervisor. First, there will be no discomfort in accepting the gifts. Second, because the family is in business, the gifts from Xiaopang's father will not cause an imbalance in the psychological value of both sides. Naturally, the way Xiaopang treats guests and gives gifts will achieve the expected effect. This is Xiaopang's father's life experience, and in addition, Xiaopang's family can do this without feeling pressured. It is precisely because of Xiaopang's father's identity as the owner of a furniture city that when in contact with Xiaopang's father, people will not look