The baby simply can't afford the down payment. Even if he could manage to pay it, he wouldn't have the ability to repay the loan. Thirdly, the baby begins to reflect on his seven or eight years of relationship, which is as fragile as a piece of paper in the face of reality and could be torn apart at any moment. Finally, he wonders why, after so many years of studying and graduating, he ended up in such a situation. At that time, the baby said: "I really feel so ashamed and frustrated that I even have the urge to jump into the river!" During the meeting with the parents, the baby's parents suggest going back to their hometown, thinking there's no need to suffer here. It's okay that Lili's family background is ordinary, but Lili's mother is so shrewd and calculating. Even if the baby could get married, he would have a hard time in the future. However, the baby still can't let go of Lili and his own dream of success. After sending his parents to the train with kind words, the baby chooses to stay, but staying doesn't mean he can keep his love. The conflicts between the baby and Lili are accumulating. They want to get married, but the reality is like a mountain that they simply can't overcome. Lili's mother insists on their breakup, which finally shakes this seven or eight-year relationship. On a sunny day, Lili tells the baby: "I'm too tired and it's too difficult. I don't want to see my mother crying anymore, and I don't want to hear my mother's loud scolding anymore. Let's break up! Let's break up!" The baby tells me that he said nothing at that time because words were useless and meant nothing at that moment. "Let's break up!" These three words put an extremely regretful full stop to their seven or eight years of relationship. After that sunny day, the baby becomes a lonely person in "Mingzhu". No one sends him text messages for no reason anymore, no one comes to his rental house anymore, and no one holds his arm anymore. Even if his salary is a bit higher at the end of the month, there is no that girl anymore. The baby says: "The world is empty, my heart is cold, and I feel like I can't move anymore." Then the baby says that about a week after his breakup, he received a call from the landlord who wanted to meet the baby in "Mingzhu" for a gathering. At that time, the baby had just paid the rent and really couldn't afford to treat the landlord to a meal. The baby says that his mood was extremely complicated at that time. He felt that when his junior fellow apprentice who had followed him for five or six years came to "Mingzhu" and called him, he didn't even have the money to treat him to a meal! The baby says: "At that time, I felt like a loser and felt sorry for my junior fellow apprentice." Anyway, there were all kinds of feelings in his heart at that time. However, these are not the worst results for the baby. The house prices in "Mingzhu" seven or eight years ago were changing every few days, and naturally, the rent prices were also increasing from time to time, even for the worst tube-shaped apartment. The baby's salary at that time, after deducting the food expenses and transportation fees, could hardly afford the rent. The baby, who was already lonely enough to have only his shadow left, was having a hard enough time. On the day when the landlord raised the rent, the baby almost reached the verge of collapse. Why is it so difficult? Why is it so difficult... The baby once thought of quitting his job and going back to his hometown. At that time, the baby held Lili's hand and loudly announced to his parents that he wanted to go to "Mingzhu", loudly saying to his parents that while he was pursuing love, he would also gain a great career. But now, his salary is low, and it's difficult to even maintain his life. His girlfriend of seven or eight years has left him. When these past events struggled to appear in the baby's mind, it seemed like there were two voices constantly fighting. One voice told the baby: "Forget it, go back to your hometown. What else do you have here except waiting to die? Your girlfriend dumped you, and you have no ability to make money. Why don't you leave and not trap yourself here?" Another voice said to the baby: "You are a man. If you go home like this, you will be ashamed to see your parents. Your girlfriend dumped you, and you just give up. If you go back like this, your parents will look down on you, and Lili will be glad about her decision to break up. You can't leave. Stay here. You can't leave!" Finally, the baby chooses not to leave. Not leaving and not going back to his hometown doesn't mean the baby can afford the rent. Even if he gets some money from home to cover the rent for these three months, what about the next three months? Borrowing money from friends also needs to be repaid. After a sigh, the baby terminates the lease of the house, throws away everything he can, and packs the important academic certificates and other necessary items in a small suitcase. He packs his clothes, bedding, and daily necessities in a large suitcase and starts to stay with friends. Staying with friends means finding someone to crash with. He stays at Zhang San's house for four days and Li Si's house for three days. When he arrives, he opens his large suitcase, spreads it out, and sleeps. When the host has something to do, he rolls up his bedding and leaves, and then continues to find the next friend, colleague, or even stays in the office of the unit, under the pretext of working overtime, and sleeps on the floor in the office. When the baby talks about this, his eyes are red, very red. The landlord feels that it is the kind of red that wants to cry. This situation lasts for nearly seven or eight months. While the baby's psychology is enduring the torment, he also begins a spiritual reflection. Since he thinks that as a man, he has no face to see his parents when he doesn't do well and goes home, but if he continues to live like this, except for training his thick skin and strengthening his psychological endurance, what else is there? The reality is still the same. When the baby was at his hardest time, he sent several text messages to Lili, hoping that Lili could help him find a cheaper house or lend him some money. But Lili only replied once: "I'm sorry." Again, these three words. The baby knows that this relationship is over. The girl who swore under the moon that she would only marry the baby has since had nothing to do with his life. This is the reality, and he has to accept it whether he likes it or not. At that time, the baby hated his law major and his postgraduate degree. The baby's reflection at that time was that the legal profession was too difficult and couldn't continue like this. After more than two years of hard work, what he got was his parents' helpless eyes and sighs; what he got was that his girlfriend of seven or eight years left him because he had no money to get married; what he got was that he couldn't even afford the rent. What on earth is all this for? The baby starts to look for a new job, and once again, he submits resumes. The baby finds that his postgraduate degree in law has actually become a hindrance and an excuse for some units to reject him. The judicial certificate has actually become an obstacle to entering other industries. The baby does something that I still don't quite understand. The baby no longer uses his postgraduate diploma to apply for jobs but uses his undergraduate diploma instead. The most important thing the baby looks for in a job is accommodation, because the rent in "Mingzhu", the largest riverside city in China, is really unaffordable for the baby at that time. After several efforts and torments, the baby finds a job as a clerk in a foreign trade company. A postgraduate degree is not required, and a judicial certificate is not required. An undergraduate certificate is more than enough. What makes the baby most relieved at that time is that this company has employee dormitories, which allows the baby who has been wandering for seven or eight months to finally have a stable place to live. The baby quits his job at the law firm and comes to this foreign trade company. The baby brother tells the landlord: "If you haven't experienced it, you really don't know how I felt at that time. Words are powerless. The physical fatigue at that time is not a big deal. The main thing is the psychological torment and the loneliness of the soul. I don't know if there is a tomorrow. All that is left is to hold on, just hold on. What dreams, everything. At that time, I just wanted to find a stable place to live! It's too difficult... It's too difficult...." In the foreign trade company, no one knows that he is a postgraduate student, and no one knows that he has a judicial certificate. This job that provides employee accommodation finally allows the baby brother to have some money left every month. Finally, the baby doesn't have to drag his suitcase to find the next place to live, doesn't have to be thick-skinned, and doesn't have to bleed in his heart. Maybe for those who haven't experienced it, like the landlord, it's just a story. But it is the real experience of the baby brother for more than two years. I believe that the baby brother's past experience is not an isolated case. Maybe there are countless young people in major cities who are still dragging suitcases and walking the same path as the baby did in another city, and their hearts are enduring the same psychological torment as the baby did.... This job gives the baby some comfort and allows his heart to finally be a little more at ease, but it's only a little bit. With this job, the baby still can't heal the scar of Lili's breakup. The baby brother tells the landlord: "In the first year after the breakup, when I think of Lili and see the places we used to go to together, my heart feels like it's bleeding. It really hurts... Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night and think of the campus days with Lili and the days when I held her hand, my heart aches like a knife is twisting in it. But what can I do? What can I do?" At midnight, when he wakes up from a dream, cigarettes become a substitute to ease this mood and this pain. When he says this, the baby cries, covering his face, with silent tears streaming down... When the landlord hears the baby brother's story, it seems like there are scenes playing in his mind, seeing the mental journey of a young boy. It's all bitterness, all unbearable, all holding on, and all having to accept. What can be said and what should be said? At that time in the teahouse, the landlord can only silently hand the baby brother a cigarette, a lit cigarette... Somehow, the landlord feels that the cigarette is so bitter at that time. Really, the cigarette is so bitter for some reason at that time... After the baby brother calms down his emotions, he continues to tell the landlord the story after he went to the foreign trade company. After entering the foreign trade company, because the company can provide accommodation, which makes him feel at ease, the baby works very hard and seriously. He never complains about anything and never has a word of complaint. It is also this performance that attracts the attention of an administrative supervisor. This supervisor is about the same age as the landlord, but she is indeed the baby brother's leader. With the contact with the baby brother, this girl, as the administrative supervisor, begins to have some good feelings for the baby brother, of course, just good feelings. To be honest, the baby brother was one of the few "handsome guys" in the school. Coupled with his hardworking and uncomplaining attitude at work, he has some exchanges outside of work with this administrative supervisor, this girl who is three years younger than him. During a company trip organized by the baby's foreign trade company, the administrative supervisor and the baby learn in a casual chat that the baby is actually a postgraduate student, that the baby has a judicial certificate, and that the baby has a lawyer's license! But she can't understand why the baby applied for a clerk position with an undergraduate diploma.