Or rather, the thinking of Xiaodong's grandfather is reflected in Xiaodong. Naturally, Xiaodong doesn't have this ability. The reason why this path can be planned and implemented is the planning ability of Xiaodong's family and their ability to realize the plan. This includes social status, interpersonal relationships, and so on. Why did the parents of the girl from that county not agree with Xiaodong's relationship to the extent of banging the table and smashing the chairs to stop this romance? Are Xiaodong's parents not decent? I believe everyone knows that's not the case. Because Xiaodong's conditions are there, it is a matter of choosing a marriage, and there is definitely no problem of not being able to find a wife. Since the job is a top-notch one and the family can buy a house for him without him even having to think about it, why would he choose a girl from a relatively less well-off family? Xiaodong's parents consider more. They want Xiaodong to choose a girl from a better family background so that the future parents-in-law can be a boost to Xiaodong's career instead of being an obstacle or annoyance at every stage. It is very simple for Xiaodong's family to handle Xiaodong's marriage. Then why do the parents strongly prevent Xiaodong from having a relationship with his classmate from the same county? It is because Xiaodong's parents want to combine two good things to create a better one. Xiaodong's later situation also follows the path his parents have set. He found a girl from a similar family background and is preparing to get married.
I once asked Xiaodong, why did he finally let his father defeat him and follow the arrangement? Xiaodong's original words: "The old man is a deputy department-level cadre. He's not a fool, right?" Xiaodong's father asked Xiaodong to consult one of his subordinates. This subordinate of Xiaodong's father married a rural girl. After this subordinate finished telling his story, his suggestion to Xiaodong was to listen to his father's words because it is very practical and realistic. This simple and straightforward way of education is more acceptable to children. Also, Xiaodong consciously or unconsciously emphasized that the old man is a deputy department-level cadre. Why did he say this? Because in his heart, Xiaodong recognizes his father's achievements and that his father is not an ordinary person. It is this inner affirmation that makes him obey. Thus, Xiaodong's planning path has been developing positively.
Where is the sadness of Yuanzi? Perhaps in a simple comparison, between Xiaodong and Yuanzi, Yuanzi is more outstanding, or Yuanzi's ability is stronger than Xiaodong's to some extent. However, when it comes to the comparison of the families including the parents and even the grandparents, Yuanzi is completely defeated. Yuanzi found a girlfriend in school, and before graduation, both sets of parents met. Where is the problem? It is not that Yuanzi's romance is wrong, but the short-sightedness of Yuanzi and his parents-in-law: The children are in love, so the parents hurry to meet. In this way, we can consider our task completed. It is not wrong for Yuanzi to buy a house with a loan or even to get married. The problem is that he listened to his parents and had a child directly after getting married, which became the fuse for Yuanzi's physical and mental exhaustion. Yuanzi just spent four years in this city for his studies and found a sales job after graduation. His understanding of the social reality can be said to be very poor. At his age, he is not capable of planning by himself. Then what about his parents and Yuanzi's girlfriend's parents? Unfortunately, these two pairs of parents are still at the cognitive level of the county and the countryside. They think that falling in love, getting married, and having children should be done as soon as possible. Because Yuanzi and his girlfriend are at that age, it is impossible for them to have a good understanding of the current real world. Under deep love, seeking marriage is inevitable. However, this choice is very blind and belongs to being impulsive. The house is bought with a loan. All the living expenses require money. Everything requires material resources. But these, including Yuanzi and his girlfriend, Yuanzi's parents, and Yuanzi's parents-in-law, simply did not see clearly. Both sets of parents still mistakenly believe that by paying the down payment and sending their children to college, they will naturally be able to live the urban life they believe in. Yuanzi's troubles are thus inevitable. It is not that Yuanzi's parents and parents-in-law did not plan for Yuanzi. It is just that this kind of planning is based on the planning for the same age group in the county and the countryside. This forms a planning with an underestimated budget for money and materials, which is bound to cause problems and make Yuanzi and his girlfriend very tired. Even the parents are tired. It is such a planning concept from the countryside or the county that makes Yuanzi follow the planning path that his parents can understand in a city. The expenses in these two environments are simply not at the same level. That is, the lack of money and materials has led to a series of problems for Yuanzi. Yuanzi's parents once suggested getting married later, but Yuanzi did not listen. Why didn't he listen? Combining what Xiaodong said: "My dad is a deputy department-level cadre. He's not a fool, right?" Yuanzi told me: "I was too self-righteous at the time. I thought my parents were just workers in a township factory. I went to college and felt that my parents' lives were really failures. I even looked down on them in my heart. I didn't want to listen to what they said and wouldn't listen." Why did Yuanzi have this state? Because Yuanzi went to college. Because in the eyes of Yuanzi who went to college, in the eyes of Yuanzi who spent four years in the provincial capital, to some extent, he has completely denied his parents' lives. Therefore, Yuanzi did not listen to his parents' suggestion to get married later. I think the psychological process of Yuanzi's girlfriend should be the same as Yuanzi's. I don't even want to think about the huge gap between the paths of Yuanzi and Xiaodong. Children from the same university. Simply comparing the children, perhaps they are comparable, or even Yuanzi is stronger. However, when the abilities, backgrounds, and insights of the parents and grandparents are added, Yuanzi, a classmate whose own ability is similar to Xiaodong's, is immediately left several streets behind at the starting line. I can't figure out how to change this. Of course, some netizens say that a poor family can also produce an outstanding child. All opportunities are reserved for those who are prepared. The author has been working for nearly ten years. From observing these children at first and summarizing some minor details to the friends and classmates around the author, it seems that they are all following an invisible line. The beginning of this invisible line is the family environment, insights, and family planning. Maybe I believe that hard work pays off, but the author has never seen any miracles happen around him. Through their own efforts, they have broken away from the trajectory of poverty, broken away from that invisible line, and lived a life that makes the people around them envious. There is Li Tianyi, the delinquent child of a rich family, and there is a [Censored]. They are just individual cases and cannot represent the class they belong to. Most people from various classes are still following the invisible line that starts from the family to live their lives. In fact, whether one lives well, has a lot of pressure, or is in a good mood, there is no use in singing high praises. It is also not realistic to emphasize oneself and try to break away like a madman. Marx said: Once a class is formed, it is almost impossible for people from various classes to break the gap and barrier between classes. The author himself has also pursued the minor details and seen a little bit, and hopes to find the key to a happy life. However, in the city where the author lives, in the workplace, and in the reality the author contacts, the classes are solidifying. The rich are getting richer, and the poor are still poor. A netizen left a message saying that the older one gets, the more one believes in fate. I quite agree. I remember once when we talked about "fate" in the office, an older colleague said, "The structure of the character 'fate' is 'person' and 'bow'." Then he said, the ancients had a meaning when creating characters. Either they are pictographic or ideographic. Why did people create the character 'fate' with 'person' and 'bow'? Maybe this bowing constitutes the explanation of the character 'fate'. Maybe people really have a fate. Maybe many things are already destined. Why do people bow? Because they are convinced, because they admit and recognize it, they lower their heads and bow.
Zhiguo and Zhouzhou's New House
Recently, Zhiguo has been frequently calling me. Zhiguo is going to buy a house in a community in the suburbs. When I heard the location, my first feeling was that it was far. From the location of the house Zhiguo is going to buy to the insurance company where he works, I estimate that if he takes the bus, he needs to transfer three times, and it will take an hour without traffic jams. At that time, I said to Zhiguo: It's a bit far. Have you considered that you don't have a car, so the distance between your work and home is very far. Zhiguo's answer is: It's far, but the price is lower. It turns out that Zhiguo called me for a favor. Even if the price is lower, for a house in the suburbs, Zhiguo can only make a 30% down payment, and the rest naturally needs to be borrowed. There is also knowledge in housing loans. Because banks are generally not willing to accept "provident fund loans", the interest rate of provident fund loans is relatively low, at around 4%. Therefore, banks are more strict with provident fund loans, that is, they are not willing to lend. The type of loan that the bank approves and disburses quickly is a pure commercial housing loan. Because the interest rate is relatively high, it can reach 6% or 7%. In this way, for each house over a period of ten or twenty years, the bank's interest income is much more than that of a pure provident fund loan. Zhiguo wants me to help him get a provident fund loan so that he can pay less interest. My first reaction at that time was that Zhiguo should go to the risk control department where he once interned. There are two reasons: First, this is not within my job scope. Second, the risk control department should have more say, after all, you directly interned there for six months. Unfortunately, it seems that no one in the risk control department is willing to help Zhiguo. So I had to make a trip to say hello. It didn't take much effort, and Zhiguo's loan was approved. At first, I didn't pay much attention to this matter. At that time, I just thought it was a small favor. But later, Zhiguo insisted on inviting me to dinner because of this, and I then realized how many times Zhiguo had run for this loan. Zhiguo told me that he didn't expect buying a house to be so difficult. Zhiguo told the author that in order to buy a house, he almost looked at all the real estate projects in this city and visited one-third of the second-hand housing agencies. He just wanted to buy a house with a relatively affordable price. It is said in one sentence, but in actual action, for Zhiguo who doesn't have a car, I think it should be that he used almost all his spare time and all the time that should have been spent with his girlfriend shopping and watching movies to look at real estate projects and find a house with a suitable price. Zhiguo was talking, and a scene appeared in the author's mind. Zhiguo and his girlfriend were sitting on the bus, holding the information of one real estate project after another, flipping through it, and then going to see and ask about one project after another. When they saw a big house and a good community, because they didn't have enough money, with envious and helpless eyes, they rushed to the next project. The mixed feelings in their hearts should only be understood by Zhiguo and his girlfriend. What can be said and what should be said?