Atom pulled his wife into the bedroom and his mother to the sofa in the living room. Atom said at that time, he felt as if the world were spinning. The cause was simply because of steaming an egg for the child. His mother said she was old, and his wife said it was okay to eat it as it was, not like they were nobles, and they had been feeding the child like this all along. As a result, they had a few words against each other, and then this quarrel occurred. Because of the quarrel, his mother cried. Atom borrowed Xiaopang's car to send his mother home, and then went to his mother-in-law's house to pick her up. His mother-in-law was sullen in the car. Atom told his mother-in-law many times that even a blade of grass has its high and low points. No matter what, the younger ones shouldn't scold the older ones. He hoped his mother-in-law would persuade his wife to apologize to his mother. However, his mother-in-law always felt that her daughter was wronged and told Atom that he had a wife on one side and a mother on the other. What could she say? Because of this, nothing was said, which led to a fight. Atom went to Xiaodong's place to stay for three days, and during this period, Atom's wife didn't ask a single word. Atom told Xiaodong: At first, his family didn't agree to get married so early, but Atom thought he could handle it. He felt that his parents' lives had been failures, and any opinions they had were nonsense. Now he thought of how Xiaodong's father could stop Xiaodong, and he really envied that... He really wished that his family could have given him a good suggestion at that time. Later, when Atom returned home, he heard from Xiaodong and Fatty many times that Atom was actually one of the more capable children of his age. The mistake was getting married too early. It wouldn't matter if he got married early, but the main problem was having a child too early. He couldn't bear the responsibility, and his family couldn't help much either, which made him live such a tiring life. Now there are still conflicts, and the child is still growing up slowly. Xiaopang told me: If this continues, they might get divorced. Xiaodong told me: If Atom continues like this, maybe one day he will collapse... I called Atom once and asked him why he often envied Xiaodong. Atom told me: Because he had denied his parents in his heart, he essentially felt that his parents were failures. At first, his parents hoped he would get married later, but he didn't listen. Of course, his parents didn't insist. After getting married, they kept urging to have a child. When he didn't have any accumulation, he got married and had a child. The emergence of these contradictions is not accidental but inevitable. In fact, I still want to say that when you first step into society, your parents' opinions are really very important. If you can't explain the reason, when making this important choice, you must insist for a while. Atom, among the people of my age around me, some are still repeating another version of Atom's same story. When you don't have any accumulation, you mustn't do things that you can't afford. Otherwise, you will really be too tired. Life is: being born and living on. I have taken care of these children for six months and observed them for a year and a half. I think their group is a microcosm of this society. In fact, there are some rules to follow in life. It's just that when we are young and making choices, we don't have enough ability to analyze whether our choices are correct or not. Including myself, the author, I often find that I was a little fool a few years later. When making choices completely on our own without the assistance of our family or family background, unless you are the kind of person favored by God, most of us will have to suffer a lot due to our wrong thinking framework, or even get seriously injured. There are many self-made entrepreneurs and many inspirational stories. But most of us can only lead an ordinary life. Everyone desires to become Li Ka-shing in their hearts, but after Li Ka-shing, how many more Li Ka-shings have emerged? Being born and living on is life. How to live is a problem. It's nothing more than being a bit easier, more stable, and with a higher level of security. Many children, including myself when I was in school, thought they had lofty aspirations. But after a few years in the society, they find that this world is really tough. The society is not so easy to get by. It is very important that when you are about to graduate and choose what kind of job to do, you really need to carefully consider for a period of time. Including us adults who are considering job-hopping, we also need to think carefully. The most important thing to guide this thinking is to have a clear self-awareness. You must understand your own conditions, your own abilities, and your own background. There can't be the slightest bit of fantasy in this. Life is very interesting. How you treat it, it will treat you in the same way. If you joke with life and are not serious, life will immediately repay you with a joke about your life. If you choose not to be serious, then life will immediately not be serious with you. In fact, to a certain extent, life can be planned within a controllable range. How to plan depends on finding two or three people who are similar to you in terms of conditions, or even a few more. By comparing these people who were once similar to you and through different choices, the results they have achieved can be your reference examples, because they have your current shadow. If possible, find an opportunity to talk to them in detail. Older people are generally more willing to tell the younger generation about their own successes, failures, gains and losses in their choices. But how to choose, how to discriminate, and how to treat it is still that truth. Self-awareness must come with self-examination. This might allow you to avoid many detours. In fact, the author doesn't want to emphasize that being born into a certain family is a kind of knowledge, nor is he moaning in pain. He just wants to explore some rules. Maybe my own level is limited, and what I write is not so good. But including myself, I also want to live a better life and be a bit more relaxed. After observing these children for a year and a half, they seem like myself seven or eight years ago. My level is limited, please forgive me, and also please let's summarize together. Those choices that once made you proud and successful, and those that made you painful, annoyed, and even regretful. Summarize them. Maybe this entire post is nonsense, but I always hope that there are one or two sentences in it that can allow friends who read the post to find some shallow rules to follow when making choices, and try their best to let everyone master a little bit of rules in the choices of life, give up illusions, and plan their own life in a down-to-earth manner... The author thinks that when people step out of the school and into the society, it is really necessary to carefully consider their own family environment, their own abilities, and their own conditions to think carefully about what kind of job they should find. A person may have two most important things in a lifetime.
First: It is to find a job, a job with a better salary and a promising future. Some people may think what is a good job. Well, what about *crab*, banks, power companies? I simply can't get in. As someone who has been working for ten years, my experience is this: If you have a bachelor's degree, it is better not to pursue a master's degree if you can. Because the salary difference between a bachelor's and a master's degree is not much, only a few hundred yuan. A good job is not a job where you are just being kept. It is a job where you can really learn something. Even if you don't work in this unit in the future, because of the work and learning experience in this unit, you can quickly find the next similar job. Try to choose to enter a large organization rather than a small company in the initial years of work. Because a large organization has a higher level of contact. Even if you have the ability in the future, a large organization is essentially a machine. You can choose to serve this machine, and you can also create an industry that relies on the services of this large organization. In this way, the road will not be blocked. Choose those units with a higher social status, because the contacts you make are different. Don't forget that knowing people is a treasure. It is best not to start your own business in the early stages, because this road is very difficult. Without experience, funds, and technology, it is very difficult. Even if you are an IT genius, I also hope that after serving a large organization for several years, when all conditions are mature, you can start your own business...
Second: It is to choose a him or her to get married. The author has several friends who have gotten divorced. A few years ago, they couldn't bear to be apart, but recently they are getting a divorce. The people who once loved each other have almost become enemies. The author's view is that the emotional world is a purely imaginary world, where there is no cost performance, no security, only the prices of various living items. But the essence of marriage is an exchange. There is nothing more real than this. Don't imagine that you are an exception. When you get married, no one thinks about getting a divorce. Those who get divorced are not stupid either. Whether you are a boy or a girl, you must remember that you must have your own job. Because the job will not abandon you and will not dislike you. In a marriage, the sense of security and comfort are what you need to provide to the other party, and then you obtain the sense of security and comfort from the other party. The foundation of a marriage is love, but material is the foundation of the foundation. Please believe that whether you are a girl or a boy, you don't have to give up your job. Because giving up economic self-reliance means losing yourself. If you stay in a different place for work, try not to choose a partner who is also from a different place. Because children and the elderly are very troublesome. These are all practical problems. It is best that one of the partners has parents in the local area, so that you can live a relatively easier life. Whether you are a boy or a girl, when choosing a marriage partner, you must firmly remember one principle, choose to marry the person who loves you, rather than the person you love. If you have the conditions to marry someone from a family with better conditions than yours, it is your good fortune. But it is best not to be worse than your own family...
Among these two items, the status of work is higher than that of marriage and emotions. Work will not abandon you. Work can support you and allow you to live without relying on others' charity. When your work is handled well, marriage is a natural process. But if you want to get married first and then start a career, I will tell you that I have friends around me who are now divorced because they reversed the order. People live by instinct and desire. Marriage is an exchange and a mutual commitment. It is composed of two people, and there is a balance of interests. If the balance of the marriage is not so balanced, either one person will be constantly bullied, or if not, the result is a breakup... Our society is no longer what it was 30 years ago. Getting married doesn't mean it will last a lifetime. Understanding these, being good at yourself, and marriage won't be too bad. Now let's talk about a problem of imbalance: In today's Chinese society, the poorest are our parents' generation, the people born in the 1950s and 1960s. But I tell you that it was also relatively easier for that generation to be successful. If your family is very superior, you don't have to worry about a job, a house, and your family can even help you choose a partner. Then you are very lucky. The author here wishes you well. Because in your first 30 years, your family has the ability to arrange for you and protect you. You are really very lucky. You are the class in society that is envied, jealous of, and hated.