Kamari Ese Avena
My life has been series and series of unexpected happenings, sudden changes. It is like they say though, the only thing constant in life, is change.
This morning, I woke up with a feeling of lightheartedness, for the first time in months, there is a smile on my face as I get ready for school. Although the dread of going to face more science courses today is there, but somehow it is pushed down to the very lower part of me. The reason for my happiness though? I have no idea. Maybe sometimes you just wake up with joy bubbling inside, it does not have to paramount to one reason.
Tuesday is for green mixed with any other colour. Stupid colour codes. "Oi, Mari! Don't you have classes this morning?" Mika's voice filters through my door.
"I do! I'm almost done!" I yell back. I take one last glance at my room, and satisfied, I go to open the door. "Hey Mari, good morning," Mika greets, waving at me.
"Hi."
"So, I'm really sorry about yesterday. By the time I looked back to check up on you, I realised you were not there. I literally searched everywhere for you. I'm so sorry I invited you to the party and made you feel left out." All of these words; Mika has rushed them out and she is now looking at me with apologetic eyes.
"It's fine." This seems to be a mantra I have learnt to recite to people. It's fine, even when it is not.
"Are you sure?" She is asking again.
"It's fine, Mika," I repeat, "besides parties are not really my thing."
I am thankful that she does not push further in her bid to apologise and also that she does not ask me where I was yesterday. Yesterday. My little interaction with Seven plays at the back of my mind, leaving me wondering how he is going to react upon seeing me today. Would he appear with at least a little enthusiasm? Or would he be back to his brooding self that scared me the first day? I guess I would have to find out.
"You seem a little different this morning though," Mika comments, heading into our first class. Apparently we both have Computer science together this morning.
"Good different? Or bad different?" I question, settling on one of the chairs in the second row, while Mika seats beside me.
"We cannot really tell now, I guess it would be good though," she says, grinning.
I smile at her and bring out my notepad and laptop. Mika and I are one of the first to arrive at the lecture hall. I glance at the time and see that it is still ten minutes to the lecture time, so I place my head on the table to wait.
"Mika!" I do not need to raise my head to know it is Arlo calling her, but I do, at least to acknowledge him.
"Hey Mari," he greets and sits on the chair right in front of me.
"Hi—"
"Stronzo." A voice hisses. Asshole.
He is here.
"Arlo, how many times have I told you to stop touching my laptop?!" He bites out as he walks towards us in long fast strides. I barely notice Iris and Nuru behind him, he is the one I see. His jaw is set as he approaches Arlo, who has a lazy smirk on his face and presumably Seven's laptop beneath his arms.
"Stop being a jerk, Arlo!" Nuru chides.
Arlo grins, raising the laptop to the air and stylishly running farther away from Seven.
"Arlo!"
"It's not my fault I saw your drawings when I thought I was going to see your codes. How did we not know you draw?"Arlo remarks.
He draws?
Seven has stopped moving now, he stands right beside our chair, glaring at Arlo with murderous eyes. "Give me back my laptop, Arlo! This is not funny anymore!"
"It is for me though. What were you even drawing?" If it is not the magic I read about in books, I never thought I would see someone move as fast as Seven when Arlo reaches to open the system, in a swift move he snatches it back and without a further glance, he storms out of the hall.
What just happened?
"Heavens, Arlo! You never know when to stop!" Iris laments, taking her own seat right in front of us too, alongside Nuru.
Arlo rolls his eyes and goes back to his space. "He is just being dramatic as always, what's wrong with knowing he draws? Or seeing his drawings? I am his friend, am I not?"
No one asked for my opinion but I find myself speaking out. Maybe because I try to see from Seven's point of view, or maybe it is just this stupid urge to defend him, I have no idea. The urge to shield him from prying eyes because beneath that hard frontier, there might be just a fragile soul hiding. Heavens, what happened to me overnight?.
"It is totally understandable to want to keep some things to yourself, you cannot tell your friends everything, you know?" I say.
"For someone who allegedly has never had friends, you seem to be very informed on this matter," Nuru mumbles just loud enough for me to hear, the mocking bite in that statement ringing.
How did she even know I never had friends? Elle of course.
Anger courses in my veins, threatening to burst, but I tamp it down, because happiness is want I want to radiate today — what I need to radiate. But that does not stop me to snap back my reply. "For someone who allegedly has friends, you seem to be very bitter!"
"You did not just say that to me!" She rears.
"Stop it, Nuru! Please!" Iris snaps.
"Well, of course you would take the Avena's side, after all you've always been good at picking at their feet!" Nuru retorts, and just like Seven she grabs her tote bag and exit the class furiously.
"You know she didn't mean that, Iris," Mika tries to placate Iris. The dynamics of their friendship takes a new light, Mika is always the one trying to fix things — the peacemaker.
"You should try not to always see the good in people, Mika. One day, you will realise that not everyone is as good at heart like you think," Iris mumbles lowly just as the lecturer walks into the class.
About freaking time.
The rest of the class goes just as excruciating and torturing as I knew it would be, add that I could barely even concentrate. The thoughts of the argument between the five of them made me uneasy, curious even. Their half finished sentences that dropped hints of secrets I could not phantom pricked at my head. From their somewhat hate-love friendship with Elle and down to the newfound secret of Seven, I had a hard time trying to get my head straight and not think too much of it, but it is easier said than done, which is why I am once again sitting at their lunch table, only with a different goal in mind this time — find out what in heaven's name is going on here.
If I could though.
[]
Seven Rai Yusei
Some things were meant to be kept secret. Some things were never meant to be out in the open.
My hands shake as I stare at my drawing, heart beating fast at the fear that Arlo might have caught a glimpse of the world I intentionally hid. No one wants a starving artist, my father would say. There is nowhere this stupid hobby of yours will take you, Rai.
Drawing, painting. Initially, they had been the only thing I could dream of.
I had imagined my arts in the gallery where people will be stunned at the intricate slashes of paint, or the deliberate shading of pencils. I had imagined the look on their face when they finally got the story that my piece would pass across. Not anymore though, that dream had been trampled upon for so long, replaced with my Father's ambition for me, replaced with his own dreams that he could not achieve but wanted to through me, I could not deny him.
So I had taken to art only behind closed doors. Stroked my brushes when no one was looking, and wielded my pencils in the safe zone of my room. It was better that way, better that no one knew about it, but then everything has gone wrong, all thanks to Arlo.
Of every one of them that knew though, I had only sought out her gaze, and when I was greeted with that shock, I had scurried out, without even trying to decipher what it meant or what she thought.
Kamari Avena. She is everything I never expected her to be. Quiet, observant, and of all things, loved photography, a form of art. She is everything Elle was not and just as much as it fascinates me, it bothers me as well.
My gaze rover over the drawing again, it is only halfway drawn and although I know what I am drawing. I doubt someone else would be able to decipher it. Somehow, I should have known they would eventually find out, after all Elle had also known.