Kamari Ese Avena
"Sit."
Seven leads me to his study desk and pulls out his chair for me. I try to avoid looking at the painting, I try to avoid thinking of it. I do not need to know why he has Elle's painting, and the theory that he might have been the friend who gave it to her should not be ringing in my head.
"Coffee or juice?"
"Nothing. Can we just get to the tutoring?" My reply is clipped and devoid of any emotion and if Seven notices the strain in my voice, he says nothing.
"Sure," he answers.
He pulls out another seat and settles on it. The next few minutes are a blur, he is talking, flipping the textbook and tracing the words, asking me questions that I obviously have no answer to because I do not know them. I am not here. My gaze constantly goes back to the painting, Elle's face when she brought it home keeps appearing.
"You are not listening." Seven's deep velvety voice brings me back into his room, into the present.
I want to ask, I badly want to ask about the painting. The nip in my head is telling me that there is more to all I can see that meet the eyes, but I am a coward so I suppress my curiosity.
"I cannot seem to concentrate," I tell him instead, "because I do not like the course." That is not a lie either, because I'll rather be buried in the comfort of my bed right now that sit here stressing my brain over mechanics.
"You have no choice," he points. "You either know it or know it, there is no other option."
As if I do not know. I drop my pen on the table with a clatter. "I know that, but it does not change the fact that I still do not understand all this," I complain.
"You don't want to be here, do you?" Seven questions, his sharp gaze seemingly seeing through every front I am putting up. I do not want to, but at that moment I imagine him looking at Elle with that same gaze and I abruptly stand at the thought.
"I need to leave," I stutter out, clutching my cloth tightly, beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead.
"Is something wrong?" He inquires, his face pinched in a confused look.
I reach out to grab my books, trying but failing not to take another glance at the painting. "I just need to leave, sorry for wasting your time."
Elle. Always Elle.
My feets wobble as I make my way out, Seven does not try to stop me. My heart beats faster with every step I take, Elle's face flashing in my sight with every breath. Elle. Always Elle.
"Mari?" The sudden call of my name makes me release my books, each one falling to the floor with a thud.
I gulp, blinking rapidly as I turn to face Jenna Ottila, the girl I had met outside the library. "Are you okay?" She questions, rushing forward to help me pick up my books. "You look worn out," she adds, handing them over to me.
"Thank you," I say to her, ignoring her question.
"Are you sure you are okay?" She asks again, looking genuinely worried.
"I am fine," I managed to answer. "I should leave now, so see you around."
I turn, almost scrambling as I walk away from her. "You don't have to hide if something is wrong with you though!" I hear Jenna yell, her voice resounding in the hallway.
My feet takes a pause. I hear coming behind me and soon she stands before me, staring at me with the kindest and inviting eyes I have ever seen. "You should speak up if you are upset," she probes.
It is now I take a good look at her, from her ponytail red hair to the white tank top and pink long jeans skirt she has on, down to the loafers on her feet. She smiles and her freckles glares at me.
"Why do you care? You don't even know me."
"I like to be nice to pretty girls, and you are pretty."
"That does not count as a valid reason," I reckon.
She laughs. "Fair point, but then once I say it is, then it is."
My lips spread wide with a grin. "You are quite funny," I tell her.
"It's my charm," she answers, shrugging. "Do you want to come see my room? It's just down the hallway," she continues.
Once again I am stunned at how easy to mingle Jenna is, that could never be me because I'd pee my pants before freely inviting someone into my room even if I actually want to. I glance back at Seven's door and I decide to take on Jenna's offer, anything to take my mind off the painting and Elle and most especially the boy, Seven Yusei.
Jenna Ottila's room is exactly like she is, colourful and full of life, if I could say it is a photocopy of Elle's room before I took all the color down.
Suddenly I feel nostalgic. "Your room is pretty," I acknowledge, because it is, despite the uncanny resemblance to Elle's.
"It is? I almost thought the pink colors were too much," she confesses.
"Of course not. It suits you just fine," I tell her as she gestures for me to sit on the bed.
"Thank you."
"Do you care for a drink? I have some apple juice in the refrigerator."
"I'll like that, thank you."
She brings me the drink, and settles beside me on the bed, curling her knee beneath her. I take a sip from the drink, reveling in the silence.
"So tell me, I saw you coming from Yusei's room, what's going on?" She winks at me, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
I almost splutter on the drink, eyes wide. "It is definitely not what you are thinking," I argue.
"What? What am I thinking?" Jenna inquires, laughing.
I smile. "He is my tutor," I tell her. "Besides, how do you know him?"
I see her gulp before waving her hands nonchalantly. "Everyone in RAAS knows Yusei, come on!"
"Fair point," I say, yet somehow knowing that there is more to her knowing Yusei than just his popularity but I do not push it.
Jenna smiles at me and starts to speak, telling me of her family and her love for photography, I say nothing but nod and laugh when needed. When it is time for me to leave, she thanks me for keeping her company and I wonder if barely speaking two sentences to her can be considered as keeping a company.
Letting myself into my room, I am more calmer than I was when I left Seven's room thanks to Jenna. I heave a sigh as I settle on my bed, my mind trying not to replay my incidence in Seven's room.
Why did he have that painting if he was never Elle's friend?
[]
How often do you get a panic attack? For me, it is everyday since I heard the news about Elle's demise.
It feels like I am underwater, someone is pressing my face into the water and I cannot breathe neither can I see who it is. I try to scream, but no one hears me.
"Mari! Mari!" I snap out of my reverie, blinking rapidly when I see Mika staring down at me.
"Are you okay? You are sweating profusely," she observes. My gaze wanders around the class, thankfully that no one except Mika just saw me slip away.
"I am okay," I respond plainly.
"You do not look fine to me," she muses with a frown as the lecturer announces the end of the class and leaves.
I know she is trying to be a friend, but I suddenly feel irritated at the prospect. "I am okay," I say through gritted teeth and maybe a little aggressively.
If Mika is taken back by my harsh tone, she does not mention it but she shoots me a quick sympathetic look before she tells me she is going for her second class and will see me for lunch. Mika is barely out of class when Seven comes in and I realize too late that we both have the same next class which is Data science.
Four days I count, that is how long I have known Seven and still I am always transfixed by his ethereal presence whenever he appears. He has that look on his face again, the blank robotic look as he comes to sit beside me and he does not spare me a glance as the lecture starts.
"You won't speak to me?" It is too late to take back the words that are already out of my mouth and I have no luxury of thinking about why I am suddenly so interested in his attention, but just so you know, Seven Yusei is just that way, able to command your mind with just his existence.
"Are you talking to me?" Seven wonders incredulously, finally meeting my eyes. Wide eyed, I blink at him.
"No. Never mind," I rush out, turning back to the board but then his hand latches unto my wrist, forcing me to look back at him.
"You said something," he states.
"You did not hear it the first time, so it's fine," I tell him, visibly gulping at the heat of his hands caressing my skin. "Take your hands off me," I breathe out.
"Miss Avena? Do you have something to say to the class, because I see you having your own little meeting over there," the lecturer calls out. That distracts Seven for a while and gives me the opportunity to wrench my hands free from his grip.
"I'm sorry sir," I mumble to the teacher who gives a huff and returns back to explaining. I do not dare to look at Seven again throughout the class, and when it is all over,I practically race out of the classroom in a bid to avoid speaking to him.
Making my way to the cafeteria, I stop on my tracks when I see that they are all here today well except Seven, sitting at the favourite table and speaking like they did not have a fight just yesterday, but when I move closer to them I am not ready for what I hear.
"It is crazy how you think she is here for anything other than wanting to be Elle, have you forgotten what Elle told us about her?" It is Nuru that speaks, her arms moving animatedly as she tries to emphasize every word.
"For someone who never liked Elle, you seem to hang to everything she told us like a lifeline," Arlo retorts, his face pinched in disapproval.
"She would not lie about her sister," Nuru reasons. "Besides, the Kamari girl just rubs me off in the wrong way, there is something really off about her."
"Everyone rubs you off in the wrong way, Nuru," Iris points out with an eye roll.
"She is different, I mean it."
"What are you even insinuating, I really want to know," Mika says. "You never liked Elle, and now you are transfering your dislike to her sister?"
"They are both Avenas, I do not like that name but then this one, she is a wannabe, more reason why I do not like her."
"Oh God!" Iris moans in exasperation just as I feel someone touch me from behind. I almost yelp until strong hands clasp down on my lips and hot breath fans my ear in a whisper.
"It is not nice to eavesdrop, Kamari."