February 14th was different without you, again. Like these past 3 years I spent with Kathrine. But this year was completely different, it was in the same place you took me, the year when we first met. Merletta.
A faraway place, which reminds me of my old life back in Nipponicio. The country where I was born, surrounded by mountains of trees that extend across a wide green landscape. A week after you had invited me to join you for an adventure. You planned the trip with me, what to do, where to go, what to eat, where to sleep, everything. We had gotten more used to each other by now, 6 months of almost every single day of our conversations. I had gotten closer to you.
We shared our dreams, mine, to be loved. A childish dream in which you laughed at. Telling me it was "accomplishable". And yours which you said was tied with mine, to see a star on this planet, you had said I had given you this idea, but never fully told me how.
"Tell me!"
I smiled as I was cooking, you were sitting at the counter doing your physics homework. Your eyes looked up to see my dark eyes and smiled softly. "Not now, one day I'll properly tell you how you gave me this dream."
I pouted, and you focused on your homework.
One day, you suddenly came up with the idea of travelling. After your parents had bought a house in Merletta, you wanted to go and visit it, to make it yours. The tales you told of the house were amazing. And your bright smile made it even more amusing to hear. But, in all of this, you were planning it with me, you hadn't even asked me. I truly felt it like a date, after all it would be the first time I would see you outside of this coffee smelling building. I wanted you to properly ask me out. Because in just 6 months of your daily conversations, you have grown into me. And I didn't mind it. So, I asked you.
"Why do you want me to come with you?"
Your ocean eyes expanded to my question. You were sitting with your back straight and munching on the breakfast before you.
"Why do I want you to go with me?" Repeating the question I had asked meant you did not know. Therefore, I was not thought of. My smile faded away when you still could not answer me. Was I always just a server to you? Did I misinterpret it all? I became aware of just how incrusted you were in me, when even the slightest comment you made could make me feel like my world had fallen down the drain. I continued to serve and clean while you pondered.
Then you left.
I began to think about the real reason why we even talked. It was because you simply could, and I was the only one that would hear you talk. That was our first mistake. But even so, the next day, you arrived in the night, this time you had a black suit, that fitted tightly onto you, like a shadow. But what caught my eye was the red flower on your hand. Jane was in the coffee shop, after being discharged, she had arrived that same day and she spent it around the coffee shop, just watching me and the other girl's work. She could only smile. In the afternoon it began to rain, pouring into the tiny building where we took shelter, after closing, it was just the two of us, she was telling me of her old childhood, when she suddenly stopped and pointed to the transparent doors, with you standing in the rain. No umbrella. It was past 8:00. You were completely wet. I quickly rushed to open the door, while you shivered in the cold, with the red flower on your hand, you smiled even though you were cold. I kept asking you what had happened, why you were here. And in response you gave me the red flower. Jane came rushing with towels. You still would not speak; however you smile faded, and your eyes were like storms of tears, dark colors began to cover the lights. And I held you still.
"I want you to come with me, because I want you to see what I see when I see you." You closed your eyes in defeat, clenching your fists "I believe in my theory of you."
"What?"
Theory? Something about your words caught me off guard yet left me thinking what it is you could have meant. Jane came back with towels, as you dried off, your eyes became dark. Light blue. Why did your eyes change?
"Please come with me"
Jane looked at me with a curious sight. And nodded. As you carefully passed the wet shriveled rose on your hand onto my hand, resting it to sleep, while its colors vibrated through me.
"Alright."
The drive to Merletta in a different car with different people was painful, Katherine was in the back, sleeping with all the camping equipment and food, and Elikai was driving. I had frown since the last time I had come here with you, yet I still was not able to lose my childhood features, however Elikai had been past those days. His masculine features had overcome his face, yet he still had his quiet personality and deep self. We had not said one word to each other since the car trip had started. He knew I wasn't up for his usual deep talks. And my mind was only incrusted on you. On every memory of you in this place. I felt as if this place was completely haunted by you. And I loved it and despised it.
"This reminds me, Citlali, you came here with John, no?"
His sudden deep voice startled me, he still could not get my name right. Or maybe it was just my hatred for the way he said my name right, always.
"I did… yes" I answered coldly as I stared at his side profile. His face reminded me of my fathers, his nose had a small bump on his arch, one which was subtle yet made it unique. Large lips, pink like a strawberry. And those golden eyes and hair. My father had the red hair I now carried. He stayed quiet, unable to continue the conversation. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again.
"Do you still miss him?"
Every single day. Was the first thought into my mind, but I refrained from my words. "Always". His eyes stayed directly on the road. But his mind was somewhere else. "Why do you ask?"
He frowned. "Just because." I felt there was more to what he wanted to say, but I didn't mind. Honestly, I didn't care what he truly thought. I could always feel like he judged me for choosing you.
We arrived shortly after, Elikai helped unpacking while Katherine and I started to prepare the dinner, the small cabin we had reserved somewhat resembled yours, my expression could sell me out. I ached. I missed you. And I wanted to cry, I could feel the sudden swell of screams form from my stomach waiting to rampage through my throat. "My child, please don't remember the past in which you hurt" Katherine's old voice traveled to me, as she grabbed my hand, her old, wrinkled hand passed through mine. I still wore gloves. Even if I had already been opened by you.
"Is everything alright?" Elikai suddenly arrived in the kitchen, preparing himself by pulling up his white sleeves. "Yeah, don't worry" I said covering my expression with a smile. The storm within me stayed controlled. He smiled softly, reciprocal. Music began to sound, soft yet happy music, attractive to my ears, I unconsciously began to humble as I cut the fresh squash for the stew. Cooking made me only focus on one thing at a time, leaving no space for you. But always for music.
"Do you like the song?"
Elikai appeared as he finished cutting the carrots. He smiled interested. Proud. "I do actually" My eyes stayed on the squash before me. Focused. The song had subtle violen notes that just made it appetizing for me. And subtle notes of piano. Just like the piano Elikai touched as a hobby.
"I'm glad you liked the song." His hands shifted to dropping the carrots in the boiling water beside me to grab a squash and cutting it. "What is it called?" I began to feel intrigued by the song, as it grew in the violen notes. "Dark Horse by Other Lives"
I looked at him, and he stared at the squash.
"You have good taste in music I must say." I was always entertained by his music choices; the whole car ride was filled with interesting music completely different to yours. Yours was passionate. And Elikai's was calm just like him.
He turned to see me. And laughed. "Thank you"
"Do you still play piano son?" Katherine's sudden voice made us both look at her, as she walked towards the stew, she inhaled the warm smell of home. And smiled happily. "Of course, mother" Elikai looked at her with a curious sigh. She smirked, wrinkling her face up, planning something in that old head of hers. "Play something for us why don't you?"
Elikai was taken aback, but he knew the instant that he saw that piano in the living room that he would play.
"Any specific requests?" He looked at Katherin, who looked at me, making him look at me. His gold eyes looked like the Flame.
"Mareux, Cold Summer if you can."
He smiled. "That is a very good request chef" He chuckled walking to the piano, and swiftly sitting and placing his hands on each key. Softly the song began to overpower the background music. I had forgotten just how talented he was. Katheirne then grabbed my hand suddenly and smiled with a broad smile of success. "Come my child, dance with me" She pulled strong into my hand, forcefully pushing me to her, as she took steps at random, calling it a dance the keys on the piano began to feel happier, a more upbeat melody began to sound. And I began to flow, the music was once again making me forget about the past.
The night soon began to cover us, the stew had covered the house with its sweet smell, and Katherines jokes and Elikai's laugh shadowed your ghost.