I have come to the realization that I am in love with the idea of you. And I will continue to, until the time comes that I can be free from you. Or that I can see your face again.
.
.
.
The wind was cold, yet the sun was warm, that is how I remember our very planned first trip. Even though you had not asked me out as I would have wanted, I believe you said it in your own words. Always enigmatic, never fully said. Even so I was excited. Even though I was only 18 years old young, I truly felt like a child. It was the first time I would see you outside of the coffee shop, I debated about what should I wear, my clothes were all ragged and dirty compared to yours, but Katherine was able to lend me a nice little sweater and pants and nice changes for our week in your newly bought house. Elikai, as the eldest son of all of 3 sons he kept bothering me telling me that I should not go, I never understood why he said that. But he was always kind and quiet. He was kind enough to accompany to our meeting spot, he was a tall man, with blonde, white hair. Older than me by 2 years. Older by you by 1 year. He kept our conversation going, but he always asked about me and my country.
Then you appeared.
Black hair slicked back, with your round glasses on your nose, you smiled brightly. While your color changing eyes only focused on me. I could not resist my heart from jumping.
"Is that him?"
Elikai's sudden dark voice recalled me to the present, we had to cross a wide street where cars rumbled across.
"Yes" I said with a smile. He clenched his fists, then let go.
"Grab my hand" His large hand opened to mine, like an invitation. And I was not sure if I wanted to take his hand. But I did. As he grabbed me firmly, we crossed the street. Across the fine layer of cloth around my hand, I could feel Elikai's heartbeat. Strong and quick.
As soon as we had crossed the street, I tried to let go of his hand, but would not budge, and now you were in front of us. You smiled with a hidden feeling; I could see the venom through your smile. I had only seen you act like this once, back in the coffee shop when a young child age of 10 couldn't stop calling me pretty. You were jealous. You greeted Elikai, with a planned handshake, making him let go of mine. The two men in front of me began talking, short talk about me, as to why Elikai was with me, and where you were taking me. And showing off themselves, a battle of who is best.
"Nice to meet you, I'm John Merlius, student at Halika specialized in astronomy"
"Elikai Rhaegara, Special Services in War"
Their handshake was tight, heavy, and unusual. Extremely uncomfortable. I sometimes forgot that Elikai worked in Special Services, but what is worse is the fact that the Elite houses have had issues with them. No wonder. Shortly after, I pressured Elikai to leave, however we had to leave first.
"What was that?"
I asked, teasing your jealousy. Certain of it. You looked at me as you grabbed my small suitcase. "Hmm, don't worry about it" you smiled.
When we stepped into an exceptionally clean black car, you called "Beatrice," as you opened my door I carefully stepped in, and you walked around to enter through the other door. It was my first time in a car. You kept talking about how excited you were. Making me forget about Elikai. And soon the trip started, at first, we listened to your favorite songs, which became mine too. Passionate and quick notes that accelerated my pulse. Then we got to talk, it was a wonderful experience for me, speaking my mind without any doubt of my words because I knew I could trust you; it was a blind trust at first but now I knew I could fall into you.
Telling you of my memories, those that I hated and those that I held on to forever offered me a new perspective to your kind, I had thought that the Euromerican people discriminated against us, the Nipponician. But you, Jane and Katherine's family were the opposite of that. Showing love and kindness towards me makes me feel hope.
The scenery started to change quickly, the city and skyscrapers were long in the past, only infinite forests of pines now covered our views. I felt at home. I felt at home with you. After a long ride up with curves all around, we finally met the wooden house you couldn't stop talking about, beautifully positioned on top of a mountain surrounded by the largest pines, when you opened my door, my nose was hugged with the green smell of moisture and leaves, tied with a cold wind pinching my cheeks, you smiled as you took me by the hand. "What do you think?" Your eyes waited for my approval. I felt your warm fingers crawl and intertwine with mine, like a spider webbing its web.
"It's beautiful, just as you had said."
You pulled my hand and into your arms I fell, held on tightly by your strong arms, I felt your warmth. When did we start to feel so comfortable with each other? Slowly your touch became natural to me, too natural almost making me forget my tradition. Inside the house, I noticed the smell of the original wood planks, the sun was setting, and the house was cold, you began to cook, and I looked from the couch, I inspected the way you cooked. Lacking in some sort, but I liked the effort you put in. The soft romantic music in the background made me finally make a move of my own. After all those months in which only you led me, I saw all the moves you had made in me, some in which I never noticed. Slowly I crawled into the kitchen without being heard, your wide back under the warm light made you look appetizing, unable to refrain myself, I grabbed your from behind, my arms crossed to your chest, feeling your breath in and out. You said chuckling.
"You scared me"
The sizzling noise of the food in front of us, combined with the soft music, made my body and mind move on their own.
"I'm cold"
I said, trying to pull you to me. You smirked.
"Stay with me"
"Always"
You didn't keep your promise.
You turned around, stood closer, you looked down at me, as I rested my chin on your chest. As my head moved up and down with each of your breaths. I felt as If I were on the ocean.
Your hand touched my cheek, the sizzling sensation and noise of your breath made my back straighten, your fingers slipped to the back of my neck, the slight touch of your nails barely touching my skin. My hands passed to your hips. We shared the same breath. Our hearts were in the same beat. Close to each other almost making one body. You smiled tenderly making me giggle.
"I have to show you something"
"Come"