It's been 3 days since your birthday. All it made me do was remember the past, the last years I did the same. I miss you, it's surprising just how much both my body and mind have become dependent on you. In all ways, it's saddening. Because I can't live without you.
Do you also think the same, can you not live without me?
I also just realized something.
You used to tell me that you loved me, that you desired me, that I was the one. Everyone says the same things, they are the one, but they always break up, forgetting each other, forgetting the words that carried their love, and the heaviest, I love you. I realized we, I am one of those. But in all of this. Does that mean you never truly loved me? Because if you did, then why? Was it always just a word to you? Did you even care and understand the meaning of the words you said to me? Were the words that you said always just words? How can you love another person? And forget entirely about this person?
I guess it was always me the only one who knew the real meaning behind those words. People tend to mix up these words now. I hope you don't in the future.
But even then, I completely fell fool for your words and promises. Even if I loved them. Seeing you on one knee was not something I ever expected you to do, we had met just 5 months ago, yet we were attached to each other. To the extent that you desired me. The wind moved my hair like the way you moved my body to yours. You hugged me. And I could feel you crumble in my arms. How were you so sure it was me? You slowly began to unravel the gift of my hands, pulling the trigger where now there would be no going back. My hands touched your face, caressing your soft skin, my fingertips longed for your skin. Your silky hair became like a waterfall to my hands, unable to control their director and strength. "Your hands are as soft as nebulae" You smirked at me, whilst you passed my hand through your lips. Then you stared blankly into me, your back lowered into me, fully resting on my lap, like a dog in its owner's lap. "Do you remember our dream?"
In the quiet cold night, the sky began to hide shy behind the strong clouds of the coming storm, your voice resonated through me. "I do"
"It was you, who gave me this dream." You looked at me, I couldn't tell if you had eyes filled with different colors, or just one. But I knew, they were in synchrony. "What do you mean?" I continued to ask as I carefully caressed your hair with my hands, feeling the soft silk run past each finger. "I saw you one time when I began to study at Halika's, through the window, the coffee shop was always my safe place from everything, and then you appeared. It was your freckles on your face that made me fall in love with you." You smiled reminiscing about that moment when we first met. "Each day I began to get excited about seeing you again. Then slowly I began to realize that it wasn't just your freckles that made me want to be more with you, but everything about you, your smile, your accent, your silence and your delicate self"
"In the past, I was indifferent to everything around me, nothing really drove me, I had no motivation or passion for anything… but now I can dream again. I feel like a child, dreaming in the clouds, and it's all because of you."
"I want to thank you for what you have done to me in just these past months, and for the way that I have been every single day falling into you. "
"I love you."