Ian felt his eyes getting watery and his vision getting slightly blurred, he did not know what was bringing out this emotion. Whether it was because it was how he felt thinking about home and how further and further it seemed to be getting or how much he hated how pathetic and almost whining he thought he must have sounded. Asking for things, even if he needed them, was always hard for him even more so from people not his family ... even asking his sister seemed hard.
'She had her life and kids, how could I bother her? My father and mother have lived their life and shared it with me to this point yet I feel like I'm bothering them? Why am I so incapable on my own?' These old thoughts of his suddenly came rushing back to him at this moment in time. His head was lowered, he did not see the looks the others were giving him. He did not care to.
Merim's facial expression changed, her hands shifted slightly on the desk and her mouth slightly opened. Domnik maintained an unimpressed look on his face, April with a slightly concerned look glanced at Merim then back to Nai. The others had much more of the same reaction. Considering what they had just discussed and the conclusions they were coming to, Nai's words slightly struck a chord of believability.
It was Yhon who broke the heavy silence, "So let me get this straight, you are not Nai, you are Ian which so happens to be your name spelled backwards and you have an older sister," as he said this he glanced at Merim for a second before continuing, "and you are from earth ... I mean you are really creative, points not enough you need an award, yes a great writer indeed" he said in an obviously sarcastic voice.
Eyes darted to and from each other's expressions settling almost like accepting Yhon's new truth. Kijan, the muscular chef, who had his right leg crossed over his left and his arms resting fingers crossed on his thigh sighed, "I think supper time is over we all have lots of preparation, we should leave the captain and Nai some time and space ... " He said this while standing up. He's actions attracted gazes of the others even Ian slightly raised his head.
Everyone else, with long sighs, eventually followed Kijan's example and stood up to leave. Janta roughly patted Nai on the shoulder as she walked past him and out. April looked reluctant to leave, she was the least one remaining apart from Merim and Nai. She slammed her spoon before getting up and leaving. Merim tracked her with her pupils until she was out of sight before turning back to Nai.
When the shuffling had stopped and it was all quiet, Ian raised his wrists and wiped the edges of his eyes. He would have waited to be absolutely alone before performing this action but an audience of one is better than eleven he thought.
He raised his head but did not turn to face Merim at his right, he faced straight ahead at the wall. She sighed after studying his face for a while, "I believe you, you know" This got the attention of Ian and he now turned his eyes slowly his eyes having a weight of hopefulness and sadness at the same time.
"You could tell? You could tell I'm not him?" Ian spoke hurriedly sighing in his brain a slight victory he felt.
"What?No, not that crap" she seemed more relaxed than when the others were present, but those words broke and scattered Ian's spirit. He slightly opened his mouth his lips twitching but he did not interrupt.
"I mean I believe you truly don't know what happened or ended up at the river, the others were just playing along with you both because whether it's the truth or not the conclusions would be the same, it's not best for us to stay here"
"It's the truth" this time Ian interrupted, both about the river and his admittance of his identity no doubt she would only regard the first.
"Yes, like I said I believe you. But I also believe you were not entirely innocent of the actions that would have led to such a development" Merim scanned Nai's face an immiscible empathy betrayed by her expression and tone.
'is this pity?' Ian thought inwardly and let her continue.
"I know you were angry about not going with our brother and the rest, I also know ... no we all know how father treats you. We are not blind to his obvious disappointment of you not having an ability of any form of manipulation, that is partly why both me and Colin were fighting for you for each of our causes. Colin did it so mine would look the better ... Nai we know you've always blamed yourself and always try to prove yourself to something or someone, but you don't have to. Even in his disappointment I'm sure he still loves you, heck at the very least he does not hate you. We are all human after all, every single one of us Domnik, Kijan, April ... that is real and all of us are fighting for it"
The words about a disappointed father and brother he did not know did not move Ian, these were not things he could relate to, understand them maybe but the emotional meaning was lost to him. He had a father and mother who loved him and he did not have an older or younger brother, what he did have however was an older sister, a sister they had grown estranged ever since she moved out, got married and had kids.
They had kept in touch, obviously, but the closeness they had when they were younger felt so distant now. Now, however , this woman facing him with all her authoritative air dissipated long ago, her words, her voice and it's tone, her expression and the emotion in her eyes ignited and amplified something in his heart and the tears he was fighting back came flooding out, she embraced him and gently stroking his locks as Nai's muffled crying subsided.
He did not know what played the major role in his reaction, whether it's her not believing him or the emotions transcending space and time.
"You need more rest, we'll be leaving two days from now ... " She patted him gently before standing up to leave, just as she had turned she had the plea, "Wait" she did not turn back, "Everything I said is the truth ... about me-"
Merim's eyes closed slower than usual before she interrupted him her back still facing him, "So you are telling me you killed my brother and stole his body?"
Silence embraced these words, a shocked expression on Nai's face. After about fifteen seconds Merim sighed and turned back to him, "You need more rest, I'll talk to you later" she turned and left hurriedly. Whether she could not or did not want to accept, her expression did not betray.
Ian now left alone, the shocked expression still on his face, sat there silently an almost sudden realization hitting his mind, 'Yes, if it is true it means I stole the body of their brother or friend '
'but I had no involvement or decision to this, I'm just as much of a victim but one of us is dead. In this world of theirs, about abilities and manipulation would they really help me even at the chance they believe or hate me for it and if there's a way to confirm it they might even rid me from this body and life '
' So who can I turn to? someone who did not know this body? but I do not know anything about this world and from the sound of it, there are several. But now I've implanted the thought in their minds, I can understand landing here was not a part of their plans in fact more than that it was a bizarre occurrence to them and now one of the passengers is claiming to not be themselves after disappearing for three days, oh my god I'm stupid, what was I thinking? If we do get back the "report" Kijan was talking about will have my details to someone who can discern my situation and who might have strong reason and evidence to believe that I truly am not Nai, then this would lead to the development of my early conclusion'
'They all left and I'm alone, what if they were playing along not just to my assumed joked but to an actual possible threat? what if they are already plotting and scheming? Merim said I need more rest, I've slept for sixteen hours is she trying to entice me to bed so they can make their move? She would feel guilty after her younger brother joined her on a cause or journey she fought for him to be there for his body to be stolen by an entity, won't she? That guilt will probably drive her to want to punish that entity, but would she have the strength to harm the face of her brother or any of them the face of their friend?'
' I can't rely on that, for all I know they're a bunch of murderess and that story about father, brother and causes was probably to test me and I cried in her arms would her original brother react that way? They have all been eyeing me suspiciously and my admittance could have caused some kind of confirmation. Am I crazy or overanalyzing?'
' No I have to take my best chance at survival, even if they do not kill me they might imprison me. I have to run but where on a strange planet, what would I eat? yes it's still early night I'm assuming what would be six or seven pm. I'll try and learn something at least, steal some food and make a run when they sleep I don't even know where the exit is, damn it when did it come to this! '