I sit on the vanity table for a long time. The eunuch come and go. The maids keep asking me to eat and drink. I just sit there looking at the mirror.
Night falls, the crickets sing through out the night. In the end, i walk slowly to my bed to lay down. After sitting so long at the vanity table, i can't come up with an solution. Should i go head to head with him? Or talking will do the trick.
From day to night, i spend my time in daze when time for lunch or dinner, i will eat. I won't stave for any reason. I have to live to see the outcome of this situation. I have to live to see that dingbat again. I don't know if i really do like him but i know that i am lost without him. Having to live with him for so long even longer with my parents, i am used to him nagging. I am used to having a sparing partner in an arguments. He is my master when comes to sword fighting. He even teaches me how to use the bow and arrow. He seems to appreciate my paintings. He even coach me on writing. I don't know when can i see him again. Hopefully before the candle of my life blows off.
Three months pass. Every day is the same. Occasionally, i have letters from mother. She says little peach is angry at me. There is nothing i can do. I only can write back to them. Today as i write my letter, an eunuch come walking in with a tray of red garments. Beside him, another eunuch is hold a tray of a golden veil. "His majestic had ordered us to give this set of garments to you. The traditional ceremony will be held after the dragon boat festival. Please come and receive this gift." I stare at it for awhile. Got up and accept it. "Do you have any message for his majestic?"I shake my head. He then bow and walk off. Later some maids appear. They take the garments and the veil to my bedroom. Dragon boat festival will be in two weeks time. Is this a chance to do something?
As the dragon boat festival approaches. The empress invited me to join her on the celebration on the pagoda near the river. We can view the festival in full view from day to night. The other concubines are delighted and of course there are cakes and tea to enjoy. Most of the older royal members did not appear, if they do so, they are found snoring on their chair with the maid fanning them.
While at both side of the river, they are fill with people smiling and laughing. There are six boats this year. The emperor is sitting on the high platform with a huge umbrella. He had a prize of a golden toad statue and some strings of gold coins ready for the winner of this race. Once the race starts, there are screaming and shouting. Each boat have twenty two man, racing and doing their best. One of the boats, belong to the royal imperial family. The younger generation of the family had taken part. As there is not enough young man, young soldiers from the royal guards are rope in. One from the imperial scholar school of academy. While four of it are make out of ordinary citizens. As the race is going on, i look around and suddenly lock eye with the emperor. Fear rush into me as the hot sun blaze down. I don't like the way he winks and smirks at me. Unlike my dingbat's smirks, his is full of malice.
The race went on in a rush. The beat of the drums makes it exciting. Some citizens on both side of the river follow the boats. Running and screaming as they go. The boat of the imperial scholars apparelling to be the last with the lack of speed after ten minutes. Another five minutes, one boat from the citizens had a turn over in the water. The remaining three are trying their best to reach the finishing line.
While everyone is crowding the balcony, i see there are not many people behind the stairs. I slowly walk behind. Even those who are sleeping wake up from the noise. Everyone is infront of me. There is no servants nor soldiers around. Slowly i walk down the stairs in a calm manner. Downstairs are soldiers line up. They did not stop me when i walk past them. I follow the path of the road line by trees. I can hear the shouting for the boat race. I must be walking towards it. I should able to mingle with the crowd. Once the sight of people around, i start to feel a sense of hope. The smell of food. The sound of people chatting away. The sight of a busy pathway. This is what i dream to see and hear.
Continue to walk on. Continue to watch out my surroundings. I don't feel that i need to fear therefore i walk in a calm manner. I try to remember the direction to the Su mansion. In the end, i have to ask around. It seems like it is a distance to walk there. I have no choice as i don't have any coins with me. Only my trusty legs can bring me there.
Finally when i get there, the main door is guarded heavily. Hiding a corner i wait for any of the servants coming out of the mansion. The night falls, no one is coming out nor going in. There must be a back door that they can use in every mansion. Creeping to the back, i look around for the door that the food are delivered. By the time i find the door, it is lock. There is no way to get in. Not even a dog hole. I lean on the wall, so near yet so far. How can i crawl in to find my mother and little peach? At that moment i want to cry and knock the door asking them to open up, let me in.
"How much longer are you going to sit there?" I look to my left to see the emperor standing there with his bodyguards. "I expected more from you. I often hear from my brother how interesting you are. But why when you come to me, you become a quiet and boring person?" I continue to sit there with saying a word.
"He said you are clever with your words. My brother told me that you tried to run away from home." He walks slowly up to where i am. "He told me the jealousy acts you have done inorder to protest about the harem he is about to have." He squared down to my level and look at me eye to eye. "I can see if you can satisfy me, i can do anything for you. Just like my brother. " i only can stare at him and whisper. "You are not your brother, your majestic." He stands up and his back is facing me.
"That is true. I am not my brother. However both of us are the son of the heavens. It is destiny that both my brother and i will own you. Perhaps your fate is tie with us. I promise you, once a son is born. I will grant you three wishes. Anything even means that you are the only wife. "
I look at him and struggle to stand up. In my sweat and tears, i ask softy "Does it means that ..."
"I can get rid of anyone you wish too. My claws can stretch far now." He look at his hand that is curl up like he is holding a ball. Then he look at me.