Jan Asano adjusted his grip on the strap of his worn-out backpack, stepping onto the university campus for the first time. The towering glass building and perfectly manicured lawns felt worlds away from the quiet rural town he grew in. Here everything gleamed with the promise of success and reminded Jan on how different he was. He walked quietly, head down, trying to blend into the crowed.
As a scholarship student surrounded by the wealthy elite, Jan had learned to stay invisible. He wasn't here to make friends or draw attention. He was here to study and escape the expectations of the life he left behind. There were no distractions allowed especially when it came to matters of the heart.
Jan shook off the thought, his jaw tightening. He wasn't here for that either. He'd spent too many nights tossing and turning, wondering if the things he felt, the things he wanted, were wrong. In his hometown, there had never been room for discussions about boys loving boys or vice versa. His grandmother had once sighed, saying, ''You'll make a fine husband for a nice girl one day Jan.'' He couldn't bear to disappoint her even if he was starting to realize that his heart told a different story.
He found a quiet place under an old oak tree far from the hustle and noise of the campus. From his backpack, he pulled out a worn copy of The Great Gatsby and settled down, letting the familiar words comfort him.
''There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired,'' Jan read softly, lost in the world of the book.
He didn't notice the pair of eyes watching him
Ren Taka leaned against a nearby stone wall, lazily observing Jan from afar. He had seen Jan before, the quiet guy who always kept to himself. Most people were drawn to Ren like moths to a flame, charmed by his easy smile and wealthy background. But Jan? Jan didn't seem to notice Ren at all. And for some reason, that bothered him.
Ren had everything he could ask for, at least on the surface. His family the Taka's, were powerful, rich and well connected. He was set to inherit their business empire someday. But Ren's life wasn't as perfect as it seemed. Beneath the smooth exterior, he harbored secrets of his own, desires that didn't align with the path his parents had set for him. In his world, being anything other than what was expected was un acceptable.
And Jan? He looked like someone who knew what it meant to live with hidden truths.
Curiosity piqued, Ren approached the tree where Jan sat, a playful grin on his lips. ''Didn't think anyone still Gatsby these days Ren said his voice breaking the silent.
Jan flinched with the sudden intrusion, looking up from his book to see Ren standing in front of him. His heart raced, Ren Taka, the most popular guy on campus was talking to him? Why?
''Uh… yeah, I guess,'' Jan stammered, unsure of what to respond. He couldn't help but feel uneasy. Was this some sort of prank?
Ren dropped down beside Jan without waiting for an invitation stretching his legs out casually. ''It's tragic, isn't it? Wanting something so badly when you know you can't have it.''
Jan blinked. That hit closer to home than Ren could have known. ''It's not just about tragedy,'' he said quietly. ''It's about dreams, about believing in something even when the world tells you it's impossible.''
Ren's smile faltered for a split second, and Jan wondered if he'd said too much. But then Ren nodded, looking thoughtful. ''Yeah,'' Ren said softly. ''I get that.''
The two sat in silence for a while, the air between them growing heavy with unspoken truths. Jan wasn't sure why but something about Ren's presence felt different. Everyone on campus saw Ren as this perfect, untouchable guy. But up close, Jan could sense something else, a vulnerability that mirrored his own.
''I've seen you around,'' Ren said after a long pause, his tone lighter again. ''You always keep to yourself.''
Jan's defenses went up immediately. ''I'm just here to study,'' he said quickly. ''I don't… I don't fit I with everyone else.''
Ren raised an eyebrow. ''Fit in? What's that supposed to mean?''
Jan opened his mouth to respond, but the words stuck in his throat. How could he explain the quiet burden he carried? How could he explain that, while everyone else seemed carefree, he was weighed down by thoughts of who he was, who he wanted and the fear that his true self would never be accepted?
But Ren seemed to sense something, his gaze softening. ''I get it. Sometimes you need to hide who you really are to make it through the day.''
Jan's eyes shot up to meet Ren's. For a moment, it was like the world had paused around them. The Ren understand? Did he mean it the way Jan thought he did?
Ren smirked again, though this time it didn't quiet reach his eyes. ''You don't believe me do you?''
Jan shook his head unsure of what to say. He had spent years hiding his own truth, even from himself. His grandmother had raised him with love and care, but her traditional values haunted him. He didn't know if he could ever tell her or anyone about the part of him he kept locked away. And now Ren, of all the people, was hinting at something dipper.
Ren stood up and brushed off his jeans. ''Well, Jan, it was nice talking. I'll see you around.'' He started to walk away, then stopped. ''And don't worry. You are not the only one dealing with… stuff.''
Jan's heart pounded in his chest. ''What do you mean?''
Ren gave a small, knowing smile. ''You'll see.''
And with that, he was gone, leaving Jan alone with his thoughts. He clutched the book tighter, feeling the familiar weight of his secrets press down on him once more.
But for the first time in a long while, Jan felt like maybe, just maybe, he wasn't so alone.