The days following Jan and Ren's charged kiss were a haze of confusion for Jan. Every time he tried to focus on his studies, the memory of Ren's lips, his touch and the intensity of that moment flooded his mind.
But Jan couldn't afford to let his emotions get in the way. He had worked too hard to get here, to make his grandmother proud. Letting himself fall for someone like Ren, someone who lived in a completely different world, would only complicate everything.
And yet… Ren had made it clear that he wasn't going to leave Jan alone
On Thursday afternoon, Jan was sitting at the back corner of the university library, trying to catch up on an assignment. His brain was foggy from lack of sleep, and the numbers and words on his screen were starting to blur together.
''Jan,'' a voice called from behind him, pulling him out of his tired daze.
Jan turned to see Ren standing there, leaning against the bookshelf with that same easy confidence, but this time, there was something darker in his gaze something deeper.
''We need to talk,'' Ren said quietly, his voice firm.
Jan felt his heart rate spike. He knew this conversation was coming, but he wasn't ready. He wasn't sure he ever would be.
''I don't think that's a good idea,'' Jan mattered, turning back to his laptop in an attempt to shut Ren out.
But Ren wasn't easily discouraged. He moved closer, sliding into a chair across from Jan. His presence was overwhelming in the quiet space of the library, the soft scent of his cologne surrounding Jan, making it impossible to focus.
''I've been thinking about that day,'' Ren began, his voice low but steady. ''About what happened between us.''
Jan's fingers tensed on the keyboard. He didn't want to have this conversation. Not here. Not now.
''There's nothing to talk about,'' Jan said, his voice flat. ''It was a mistake.''
Ren's jaw tightened, but he didn't back down. ''A mistake?'' he repeated, his eyes locking onto Jan's. ''Is that really what you think?''
Jan swallowed hard, feeling his resolve crumbling under Ren's intense gaze. He couldn't handle this, not when Ren was looking at him like that, with those deep, piercing eyes that seemed to see through all the walls Jan had put up.
''It has to be a mistake,'' Jan whispered, more to himself that to Ren. ''Because I can't afford to… I can't get involved with you.''
Ren's eyes darkened. ''Why not?''
Jan looked away, unable to meet his gaze. ''You know why. You and I, we live in different worlds. You have your family's expectations, their plans for you. I have my own problems. It's not worth the risk.''
Ren's hand reached across the table his fingers brushing against Jan's in a soft but deliberate touch. The connection sent a spark through Jan, his breath catching in his throat.
''Maybe I don't care about those expectations anymore,'' Ren said his voice softer now, vulnerable in away Jan hadn't heard before. ''Maybe I'm tired of living for other people.
Jan's heart thudded painfully in his chest. His instinct was to pull away, to push Ren out of his life before things got more complicated. But when he looked up and met Ren's gaze, the intensity there pinned him in place.
In that moment, Jan saw the real Ren, the Ren who was trapped by his family's demands, by the expectations of the society. It was a reflection of his own struggle, his own need to hide who he really was. And for the first time, Jan realized they weren't as different as he had thought.
The silence between them stretched out, charged with tension. Ren's fingers lingered on Jan's hand, and for a second, Jan forgot where they were, forgot the risks, the consequences. All he could think about was how much he wanted Ren, how much he wanted to stop pretending, even just for a moment.
Ren leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper. ''You felt it too didn't you? That connection between us.''
Jan's resolve wavered, his breath shaky. He hated how much power Ren had over him, how easily he could unravel the careful life Jan had constructed for himself.
Before Jan could respond, Ren's phone buzzed, braking the moment. He sighed and glanced at the screen.
''My Dad,'' Ren mattered under his breath, irritation flickering across his face. He hesitated before standing up. ''I have to go but this isn't over. Not by a long shot.''
Jan watched him leave, his body still buzzing from the tension. As Ren disappeared from the view, Jan's mind raced. He couldn't ignore the chemistry between them, no matter how hard he tried. But the fear of what it meant, what it could cost him, kept him paralyzed.
That night, Jan lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as the events of the day played on a loop in his head. Every touch, every look, every whispered word from Ren had ignited something in him, something he had tried to burry for so long.
The problem was, the more he thought about it, the more he wanted Ren. He wanted to feel that connection again, to explore whatever was happening between them, even if it meant risking everything.
But what scared Jan most wasn't just his attraction to Ren. It was the idea that Ren might actually understand him, that Ren saw parts the of Jan he had spent his whole life hiding.
His phone buzzed interrupting his thoughts. It was a massage from Ren.
Ren: ''Meet me tomorrow night. I'll be waiting outside the library at 9.''
Jan's pulse quickened as he stared at the message, his mind in chaos. He knew he should say no. He should cut things off before they spiraled out of control. But instead, his fingers hovered over the screen and before he could stop himself, he typed back a reply.
Jan: ''Okay, I'll be there.''
The next night Jan found himself standing outside the library, the cool night air prickling his skin as he waited for Ren to show up. His heart pounded in his chest, and every passing minute felt like an eternity.
When Ren finally appeared, walking towards him with that confident stride, Jan's breath hitched. The street light cast a soft glow over Ren's face, highlighting his sharp features, his dark eyes that seemed to burn with intensity.
''You came,'' Ren said, his voice low and satisfied.
Jan nodded, his throat dry. He didn't trust himself to speak.
Without a word, Ren took Jan's hand and led him away from the campus, toward a secluded part of the nearby park. The world felt quiet around them, the tension thick in the air as they walked side by side, their fingers entwined.
When they reached a small clearing surrounded by trees, Ren turned to face Jan, his expression serious.
''I don't want to play games anymore,'' Ren said softly. ''I've spend my whole life pretending to be someone I'm not. But with you… I don't want to pretend. I don't want to hold back.''
Jan's heart pounded in his ears. He could feel the weight of Ren's words, the gravity of what was happening between them. And in that moment, Jan realized that he didn't want to hold back either.
Without thinking, Jan closed the distance between them, capturing Ren's lips in a kiss that was anything but tentative this time. It was raw, intense, filled with all the desires and fear and need that had been building between them for weeks.
Ren instantly responded, puling Jan closer, his hands sliding down Jan's back as the kiss deepened. Their bodies pressed together, the heat between them rising as the world around them seemed to disappear.
Jan's mind went blank, lost in the sensation of Ren's lips, the taste of his skin, the way their bodies fit together so perfectly. It was reckless, dangerous, and utterly intoxicating.
As their kisses grew more heated, Jan could feel Ren's hands sliding under his shirt, the touch sending shivers down his spine. The desires between them was undeniable, electric, and Jan found himself wanting more, craving the release of everything he had been holding back.
But just as thigs started to spiral out of control, Jan pulled back, gasping for breath, confused. This was moving too fast. He wasn't ready yet.
''I… can't,'' Jan whispered, his voice trembling. ''Not like this.''
Ren's expression softened, and he took a step back, giving Jan space. ''Okay,'' he said gently. ''We'll take it slow. No pressure.''
Jan nodded, his heart still racing. He didn't know what this was, what it meant for them. But for the first time, he felt like maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to face it alone.