Han Rong woke up in the recovery room after spending more than a week in the ICU. He stared outside the window refusing to talk to anyone. His doctor suggested him to see a psychologist for psychological trauma or a psychiatrist if his condition worsens. Physical wounds heal but psychological wound may never heal. Han Rong's sister, Lingling, arrived at the hospital after sitting for several hours on the plane.
The weather was dry and hot, the hospital was located close to a desert. She overheard other staff that on the other side of the desert was a danger zone which was blocked off by the military and other police officers. Lingling didn't understand all of the military and medical jargons, she only wanted her brother to recover and go home.
Lingling did understand there were terrorists roaming on the other side of the desert and his brother had to work with other military personnel in order to capture them. After all, her brother was a international tactical SWAT team leader. She sat beside her brother who was ignoring her.
"Brother, I came. Mom and dad said they went out to get some food for us. Look what I brought for you, I got this snack from the airport. Want to have some sour candy? or milk candy? Eating something sweet might make you feel better."
Han Rong remained silent and he tightly held onto a photo. Lingling looked at it and said, "Brother. Once you recover, you can see Sister Yuqin. She'll be glad to see you again."
All of a sudden, Han Rong lost his temper.
"LEAVE!"
Lingling froze on her seat and looked straight at him. She didn't expect his brother to yell at her. She calmed herself down and replied, "Brother, I was only trying to make you feel better. If you don't want to talk to me, you could've just told me." Han Rong turned the other way while Lingling quietly left the room and cried in the hallway.
Their parents came back with fruits and instant noodles. Lingling looked at them while her eyes were swollen and red.
"Sweetie, what's wrong? Who made you cry?" Their mother asked.
"Mom, Dad. What's wrong with my brother? He never yelled at me before. I was just talking to him and he yelled at me." Lingling sniffled and continued to sob. Yu Jie, their mother, comforted her daughter while Guanting, their father, went to see Han Rong.
Once Lingling and Yu Jie found a seat near the exit, they sat down. She comforted Lingling and kissed her on top of her head.
"Lingling, it's not your fault. You were only trying to make your brother feel better. But right now, your brother is sick. He was greatly injured and it will take a long time for him to walk again. All we can do now is to make him comfortable and give him less stress. Your brother loves you dearly and you should know that." Lingling nodded slowly. She slowly lifted up her head and looked at her mother, "I saw brother holding a photo of Sister Yuqin."
"Lingling, your brother broke up with her."
Lingling looked at her mother and replied, "Why did they break up? They were so close to each other."
Her mother smiled and replied, "You'll understand once you're older but right now, we should go and have dinner. Your father and brother are waiting for us."
***
After eating dinner, Han Rong ate hospital food while the rest of them ate instant noodle. Yu Jie sliced some apples and pears for all of them. She gave a plate of fruit to Lingling and whispered, "Give it to your brother." Lingling pouted and stood up.
"Brother, eat some fruits." She handed him the plate and fork then sat down on the chair beside the bed. Han Rong ate a slice of apple then stopped. He looked at Lingling and said, "Lingling, I'm sorry I yelled at you. I wasn't angry at you. I was disappointed with myself."
Lingling looked at Han Rong with a pouted expression.
"It's okay." She replied then kept on eating her fruits.
Just then, Han Rong's superior, Lu Cheng, knocked on the door. He politely greeted Han Rong's family members.
"Do you need us to leave?" Guanting asked him.
"Could you give us a minute?" Lu Cheng asked them to leave the room for just a few minutes.
Lu Cheng pulled up the chair beside Han Rong's bedside.
"This is the funeral location. If you're not comfortable with it, I'll understand." Just as Lu Cheng was about to leave, Han Rong replied.
"I'll go."
Lu Cheng nodded, "Your friend will pick you up tomorrow. Rest well."
Han Rong placed the paper beside his bed and closed his eyes. Even though he wanted to sleep, he can't. Every night, he'll be haunted by the nightmares. Guanting stayed with Han Rong while Yujie and Lingling went back to the motel near the hospital.
That night, Han Rong couldn't sleep. The images of the explosion and dead bodies were engraved inside his mind. He was afraid to go back to sleep even when he's holding onto the photo.
The next morning, one of Han Rong's closest friend, arrived at the hospital. He greeted Han Rong's parents and told them that he'll take to his teammate's memorial.
On the way to the memorial, Han Rong remained silent. He didn't want to say anything because he placed all of the blame on himself.
Once they arrived at the memorial, other team members avoided talking to Han Rong. He was sitting on the wheelchair without any expressions.
"Officer Han Rong actually came? I thought he'll be hiding in a hole after all that's happened." One officer made a snide remark.
"If I were him, I wouldn't even be here." Another officer laughed it off.
One of the dead team mate's family members went up to Officer Han Rong and lost her temper.
"Why are you here? Go and leave! I don't want to see your face ever again!"
"Give our son back!" Parents of the dead members all went up to Officer Han Rong while other officers trying to block them.
One mother cried and yelled, "Why did you kill my son? Give him back to me!"
Officer Han Rong lowered his head and replied, "I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Just then, one of the fathers came up and grabbed him at the collar.
"Officer Han Rong, as long as I live, I will never forgive you. I hope you will never walk again."