3 YEARS LATER
Javi
"Why didn't I get it in the morning you fucking moron"
I yelled as the glass walls surrounded my office room. I was sweating, as my insides were burning in extreme anger. How did I become so angry? I don't know.
Nowadays I don't know how these veins pop up on my skin, how anger infiltrates so easily in my throat as I spit bitter words. As if I have no control over my tongue
The younger boy wearing spectacles flinched and stepped back a little. The interview was supposed to be written so that I could do the briefing for the client. The client is one of the greatest sculptors of the decade, he lives in Bahrain. We had to request for months for an interview. we had just only one hour for Briefing and then we will finally shoot the event with him. This was supposed to be a big break for my magazine. But because of this dickhead I now have to request to postpone the meeting. I hate latecomers. I mean I am never late. Can't they learn a fucking single thing? I could feel myself getting too infuriated.
I turned around and walked back to my chair. I opened the drawer and I took some of the pills to calm my nerves. My eyes landed on a particular photo frame inside the drawer. I looked at the picture more than I should. My finger grazed the surface of the picture as I closed my eyes. I breathed deeply and inhaled and exhaled just like my therapist said. I calmed down a little.
"sir. I am sorry sir..it will never happen again"
I heard his voice. I landed my raven eyes on him again, he was near the exit door. I smirked.
"You are new here right, Joy."
I chuckled deeply. He might be pissing in his pants getting scared.
"I haven't built this empire in days, it took me three to 3 years to make this empire, our magazine one of the top competitors of The Times. We are the number one selling magazines after the times. We have more stock prices than The Times. We have more shareholders than Forbes. The guardians are trying their best to work with me. Do you know why? Because there was no mistake in my work, my employees didn't dare to corrupt their work. Every one of my employees has to give their hundred percent, there is no room for mistakes. I can't tolerate simple irresponsibility. I can't tolerate these small issues of their families, or their issues presented in front of me. They solve it their way and present my work at my table at any time I ask them to. There is no room for any fuck ups. Get it. You are fired"
The young boy looked at me, I was the cruelest of the people he had ever seen. Maybe. If I don't become cruel, I can't do business. This is no emotional play. I need to get the work done in any possible way.
The young boy's eyes were shattered enough to not look me in the eye. I just ended his career. I am looking at myself in this guy, the young Javi. Hiraeth princess. I scoffed. That weak leach who couldn't handle a single break up, who couldn't handle his father's death, whose traumas were so much, who used to cry at every word. Who couldn't stop her from going? Who didn't fight enough for her? That helpless, weak, and poor Javi I am seeing in him.
I chuckled wickedly. I am a billionaire now, powerful, and can get any girl I want in my lap in one direction. I am influential, I am famous and I am unstoppable.
I win every single game
I kept laughing as I sat on the chair closing the drawer with the smiling picture glaring at me. I shut my brain up. I shut my emotions. This isn't a world to show emotions, people rip you apart and leave. Everyone leaves. So we shouldn't let anyone enter our hearts in the first place
I looked at the ceiling resting my head on the chair as the boy ran outside, might be crying. Those eyes remind me of myself, how innocent I was. How badly pure.
I opened the drawer again and looked at the picture. Hiraeth.
This was the picture when she came outside of her house, in Gangnam. 3 months ago. Her baby bump was showing.
She was married to Tristan after 1 year of their reunion. The pictures were released by the official press and Tristan's label press as well. Tristan married her in Halkidiki, Greece. With some of her friends and his parents and maybe some of his friends. I don't know the private guest selections.
They didn't invite me. The program was private and personalized, there wasn't any press or media allowed. They had their photographer and the pictures were released the next day.
The picture of her and Tristan kissing was published with a caption. Finally the most awaited fairytale wedding of these two love birds. Then a picture of her laughing her heart out as Tristan back hugged her from behind. Official press photos had the pictures taken at sunset on a beach as they walked hand in hand, the hands entangled and the rings glistening. The rings were diamond-curved. But she loved platinum. I know. Who cares now? I have never seen her this happy, as if she had sun in her hands and she could admire it all day long as if she got her dandelions which she always wished for to blow the feathers off. Many magazines covered pictures of their wedding dance as a blurry crowd cheered for them. She was wearing a green feathered tiara on her hair which was wavy on the edge, and her eyes had glitter decorating, but the shine was on those orbits, her cheeks naturally were tinted red, slender fingers shimmering with the ring on it. her cheekbones were glowing, her sun eyes never leaving Tristan's. Maybe that man never knew how lucky he was. I didn't look at Tristan, my whole heart was drenched to look at her as if it craved.
After their reunion the media always caught them holding hands, the rumors got bigger and bigger, and finally in one interview they confirmed they were dating. She was blushing and flustering as hell. She was looking so young and madly in love and happy. I could never have given her that happiness.
She was looking disheveled, messy but never this happy she was before. I was so proud of her.
The picture of her becoming a baby mom got published and I instantly printed it and framed it. Every six months, I get her new pictures and frame them. She was wearing a long oversized Celine white shirt which is of course Tristan's. She mostly wears his clothes. her baby bump was showing but her smile looking at the paparazzi was one of a kind. This was a picture of a mother, not a lover. She was glowing as a mother. Her skin was golden-tanned as the sunlight fell on her. She was waiting for her car. maybe to get to the doctor. But why wasn't Tristan beside her in this condition? Why was she alone? Nevermind. She was content with what was happening then who am I to talk about? Her eyes are drenched in the sun which means she loves him still maybe more now. I hope they are always together.
I closed the door of the drawer. Come on, get back to work. Enough of emotions.
I got up and breathed heavily. I don't feel anything nowadays. Just a tad bit of irritation. That's all. I need to get the work done. I walked outside arranging my coat, dusting some dirt from my coat sleeves. I wore my black goggles, I am sure I looked poised and stern. I am called cold and I know that. people talk in my back is very well known by me
I walked down the aisle and everyone stood up, I didn't look at them. They bowed one by one as I nodded and went straight to the elevator. I need to visit a site today with my assistant. I saw Lucy entering just after me. her eyes staring me up and down. Tch. Wrong move
Lucy intentionally came in front of me and leaned against my shoulder a bit to show me an open file in front of me. I think I must admit. She is great at work, nobody's this perfect in my office other than her, she enhances my ideas and turns over new ideas and themes for any project. She knows my schedule. Her eyes are blue, she is beautiful, petite figure, soft features, and innocent doe eyes just like Hiraeth used to describe mine. I looked at her, her eyes glued to the file, she very well knew I was staring at her. She wants that, the advantage of being a writer is you already know the intentions. She wore a revealing dress, her cleavage showing. Her hair is short and straight. hiraeth's hair is long and wavy
She looked at me as if surprised that she caught me. I smirked as I held her waist, trailed my fingers on her silk dress, and gripped tighter.
Suddenly my eyes saw another person, a pair of dark brown eyes with similarly coloured messy long wavy hairs leaning on her cheeks. Her ears are covered because of the long strands of rough and creased hairs. Hiraeth, a sun-eyed girl. Her lips smiled softly, her round bambi eyes gazing at me as if I were a star, the eyes were so expressive, and she was so fondly looking at me as if I would melt in her arms. I cupped her cheeks as she closed her eyes, her pale milk chocolate skin was warm, her cheeks tinted. I caressed her cheeks softly. I kissed her forehead. She didn't vanish. My Hiraeth is here with me, in my arms.
Suddenly the ding sound resonated in my ears as I widened my eyes seeing Lucy looking at me with so much lust in her eyes. I pushed her as she looked at me with shocked eyes.
What was wrong with me? It's been 4 years. , get a hold on yourself. She is happy there. And you are happy too. This is the 7th time this week that I have imagined her in every other girl coming close to me. Why am I suddenly missing her? I am a master of controlling emotions then what the fuck is happening.
I panted as I reached near my Mercedes Benz. The guards opened the door for me as Lucy sat on the passenger seat, I was in the back. I don't let anyone sit beside me.
I looked at my watch as I pulled out my phone from the back pocket of mine. I swiped to open the locked screen and I found her picture. It was her wedding day picture. My fingers touched the screen as I closed my eyes. Why do I miss her now? I don't have any answer to this. I just miss her. I long for her. But I don't want to mess with her. She has a perfect life after ages. I need to let her be happy. I need to control like I did for 4 years, I never contacted her, never called her. Though for 1 year my finger itched to call her. But I didn't. She shouldn't have any guilt for leaving me
I called Nathan instead
I found Nathan in Milan. He is the CFO of my company now. He handles the whole accounts system and security system of my entire empire. I still remember the day he came to the interview, he was more knowledgeable than me, and he looked at me as if he needed to guide me as if he needed to protect me from everything. I was clumsy, but he didn't mind, instead, he told me to relax and hold the interview. I did as he said. I calmed my racing heart down and interviewed him, he knew everything, he answered every answer with additional intelligence, and he was experienced in this field. I am very thankful for him. He talks very little but his eyes are always soft and caring when he looks at me. He is the one I held onto while learning to build this huge empire now. It was his hands I held whenever I felt I couldn't. He told me new ways to solve problems, solve equations, he taught me to view in different directions as well and to not only focus on one idea, he told me to try bolder. I was afraid, but he said he was standing right behind me. Gradually I felt he was my shelter, my protector, my cocoon. Those gummy smiles he gives me whenever I tell him any good news make my heart flutter. He is currently dating a music producer. I have met her a few times, she is nice. Nathan smiles for that girl more often now. He knows about Hiraeth but told me to not hold grudges.
He told me to act like a mature man. But I don't know if I am that much mature or not
"Yes "
I said as I picked up the call
"Javi, I think there is a fault in the security system. The press machine factory got some intruders. I am taking care of it. You might have to go to Seoul for the meeting with that painter, I forgot the name. Yeah, Kwang. Are you sure you can handle it down there alone?"
I huffed thinking there might be so much pressure here.
"Yeah yeah I can, are you sure you don't want me here? I can leave 3 days later "
"No no just go and come quickly. You have a flight tonight right?"
"Uh yeah, but I can stay"
"No, no, I don't need to. I can handle it. You travel safely alright?"
"Yeah okay. Call me if you need me. My work is for just 1 day there. I will return as soon as possible"
I heard him sigh and said
"Javi visit your mom for once now, why don't you stay there and then work the next day, you know Mr. Kwang won't mind right"
I felt my breath hitch. I miss my mom, her warmth. But she isn't like earlier now. She has changed a lot. She always expects my elder brother not me, she always asks about him and my elder brother who eloped with another girl never visits her for once. We got to know this from some locals there. Mom never asks me to find him, she is too disappointed and heartbroken to meet him anyway. But her love for him didn't decrease. It kinda became madness for her, she thinks of me as her elder son, forgetting about Javi completely. Besides Seoul has Hiraeth, I don't know if I can survive her glimpse. So I don't travel here and there. I stayed in my hotel room all day long. The city smells of her. I can't. That's why I wanted to go with Nathan.
"Uhm yeah. I have reached my sight. Let me call you later"
He sighed and cut the call
I looked again at the lock screen, her wedding dress was peachy. I remember her favorite color was white. But she didn't wear white. She was looking like a ripe berry, flushed and happier. I switched the phone off.
We haven't reached the site to inspect. But I lied to Nathan to ignore the topic to reach Mom.
I rested my head on the backrest as Lucy looked worried. Lucy is a nice girl so why can't I get attracted to her? Not a slight bit.
I felt someone tracing my fingers which were on the seat beside me. I turned my head to the side only to see Hiraeth smiling at me. Her eyes are gentle as ever. Her baby bump was showing, she was glowing as a mother, and her eyes were kind too. Her lips were curved in a tight smile, she nodded as I rested my head on her lap, and her fingers combed my hair. I looked at her with wide eyes, her breath was swift. She was pragmatic. Her fruity scent was filling my nostrils. I didn't cry. I felt her looking at me just the same way she used to do, with so much fondness. I was her princess. I don't have long hair now. I have short hair. Gelled, maybe I look like an adult now. Not a boy crazily in love with a homeless girl.
"Sir.SIR"
I heard Lucy screaming my name as I looked at my surroundings coming to realization. I was lying in the back seat. There was no Hiraeth. I breathed deeply, closing my eyes. I nodded and got up and out of the car.
"I am fine thanks"
Lucy nodded as I walked ahead, with authority, as if I got every power. Guess what? I do
But my Powers can't bring Hiraeth back