Kai ended up driving me back to the now empty parking lot of the restaurant we ate at. Despite how close we were at the park when we were talking, things were a little more awkward now. I couldn't stop my heart from racing, and despite my efforts I couldn't fully contain my excitement at how the evening played out. He put out his hand to help me off the motorcycle, then walked closer to help take the helmet off.
"After putting on and taking off this helmet a few times your hair got messy, I'm sorry."
He was still standing so close to me, and I couldn't help but put my hands on either side of his face.
"It's okay, I don't mind. It's just hair anyway, and I am going straight home."
Fuck, he looked so handsome standing there. I kept thinking this at dinner too, but despite how tall, bulky, and well defined his features were he wasn't intimidating at all. Staring at him could easily turn into my new favorite hobby.
"Well, I would sure hope so, seeing as it's almost midnight."
Kai leaned down and gave me hug and kiss on the forehead, and then walked with me a few spaces over to my own car. I took out my car keys from my bag and said my goodbyes while unlocking it. He reached the door handle before I could, and opened the door for me to get in.
"We talked about a lot of stuff, and I feel like we got most of the important things out of the way. But we still need to learn more about each other. I had a great time with you at the park, and I am excited to see you again. Make sure to message me when you get home, okay?"
He looked awkward, like he was trying to find the right words to say. It was clear he had no real dating experience with the way he acted, but he still somehow managed to act so sure of himself. He struck me as an "action over words" type of guy, and to be honest I didn't mind it. I got into the car and fastened my seat belt, then gave him a big smile.
"Thank you, and I promise I'll let you know."
He smiled back at me and closed the door. I watched while he put his helmet on and got onto his bike. I was struggling just to get on and off it, but he swung his leg over with ease and was able to plant both feet firmly on the asphalt. He really is such a perfect man.
After about fifteen minutes I made it home, and I parked the car and entered the house as quietly as I could. I set my keys on the counter and grabbed a glass of water, then sat on the couch and texted Kai that I made it home safe. While I was staring at my messages waiting for him to read it, I heard someone walking down the stairs.
"Avery, is that you? What are you doing coming home so late?"
Oh shit, I never told my mom that I would be home late.
"Sorry mom, I didn't mean to wake you up. You can go back to bed."
She always gives me so much space and freedom, but after the last week she is undoubtably worried about me.
"Now honey, you know that I don't have very many rules in this house seeing as you're an adult. I only ask that if you know you are coming home late to text me before you come in so if I wake up to the door, I know it's just one of my boys, and if you are staying the night somewhere to send a text so I don't worry when I wake up and you're still not home. I nearly had a heart attack when I heard noise and there weren't any texts on my phone."
My mom has never been one to get explicitly mad or angry at us, but sometimes I would prefer it. Her sweet and caring nature when going over the very basic rules she has in place makes me feel so guilty every time.
"I know mom, I'm sorry. Do you have an early morning?"
"Not particularly. You know that I usually wake up earlier in the morning, but I have nothing planned that I need to get ready for if that's what you're asking. Why?"
"I was just wondering if I might be able to talk to you for a little bit before we both go to bed."
"Sure honey, let me grab a blanket really quick and I'll come sit next to you on the couch."
She knew about the situation with my heat cycle over the weekend, at least the bare minimum. I had begged Micah and Emette to not say anything to her about the pheromone incident or the imprinting. I knew I needed to be the one to tell her, and Micah and Emette conceded saying that it was my life and since I was an adult they weren't going to go behind my back and tell her themselves.
I made a loose plan in my head on how to talk to my family. Micah already knows the situation, and though his true feelings on it are up in the air it doesn't seem like he will be a problem. Emette makes it a point to not insert himself into situations that have nothing to do with him, and he generally will support people wholeheartedly; though he does give his honest opinion when asked. Mom just wants what's best for her kids, so as long as no one is in danger she is happy. Omari is the oldest out of all of us, and he tends to have a more traditional mindset when it comes to things. Still, he tries his best to understand the perspective of others, so a nice conversation may be all it takes to help him be okay with things.
The person I am most worried about is my dad. He is one of the nicest people, aside from my mom, that I have ever met. He loves with his whole heart, but he is also very protective of his family. And when it comes to me, the baby of the family and a dominant omega, he tends to be more on the overprotective side of things. Dad and Omari are the people I need to talk to last about things, maybe I shouldn't go into detail with them unless Kai actually does mark me. The main issue they would have, I think, is how fast things would be moving.
"What are you in such deep thought about Avery? Is everything okay?"
Mom came back downstairs with a large blanket. She sat next to me on the couch and covered us both up, then I shifted closer to her and rested my head on her shoulder. How do I even want to approach this?
"Everthing is fine, but I do need to tell you about something. Micah and Emette know some of the situation already, but I wanted to be the one to tell you. I haven't told Dad or Omari yet."
"You're… Not pregnant, are you? I mean you know that we will love you regardless, and respect whatever you decide to do, but honey… Raising a baby is a lot of work."
"NO! I am not pregnant. Wipe that thought from your mind, please."
"Okay, well then if you're not pregnant then whatever you have to tell me can't be that bad."
I took a deep breath and decided to ask her a rather indirect question first.
"What are your thoughts on fated mates?"
"Hmmm, well if you mean love at first sight then I believe in it. When I met your father thirty years ago, even though we were just teenagers at the time, I fell in love immediately. We dated for a couple years and then he proposed, and we got married soon after. So, in that context then yeah, I think it's a real thing."
"Kind of… But more like the myth of fated mates."
"You mean like those grand stories your grandma used to tell?"
"Yeah, those. Do you think it could be true?"
Mom paused to think for a moment before speaking, and for some reason I felt really nervous about what her answer would be.
"To be honest, if something like that were real then I think it would be amazing but also scary. To fall in love with someone immediately, almost on instinct, to the point that you could imprint yourself on the other person within just a few minutes. A love like that sounds amazing. On the other hand, if fated mates are real, I would wonder if everyone had their own fated mate out there somewhere. Would that make the love I feel for your father any less real? Stuff like that, I guess."
"Oh, I see. You bring up a good point."
I suddenly began feeling nervous to talk with her more about this, but I feel like it's still necessary. She didn't respond to me, she just sat there with her head leaning against my own, waiting for me to say more.
"You know how my inhibitors didn't work for my heat cycle? Well, I found out why that was. Micah and Emette had to take me back to the hospital last night after we went out for ice-cream."
She didn't ask any questions, she just sat there listening as I explained everything. I told her about how a man named Kai was the one who saved me from that alley, and that despite me being in heat he didn't take advantage of me. I told her that even though I lost the reason why I drew and painted he made me want to pick up a brush again. I explained how I instinctively rejected the pheromones of an alpha that was leaving the ice-cream shop we were headed into and explained what the endocrinologist told me at the hospital.
I let everything sink in, and I started to feel slightly uneasy.
"I am assuming you got dressed up earlier to go have dinner with his person, Kai, was it?"
"Uh, yeah. I know I don't know this guy very well, and it seems stupid, but I wanted to meet with him to see how he would feel about dating."
"I see. And how does he feel about all this?"
Well, I can't exactly tell her that he is fine with everything. Despite all that he said, I could still tell that he was scared about how things might turn out.
"It's… Complicated. He has had a lot of stuff happen to him, and he doesn't think he is worthy of love. He says that he had planned to live his entire life alone. He thinks that he is some bad omen who will destroy the lives of those closest to him. At the same time, I can see how lonely he is. He made me tell him the entire reason why I was so determined to start a relationship with him. When I did… He looked regretful. Like he was blaming himself for everything. The more we talked about everything, the more he seemed at ease with everything. He said that he's fine dating for a couple of months to see how things go."
My mom started stroking my hair, and the comfort from it helped alleviate some of the tension that I was holding in my body.
"And what do you think about all of this?"
"What do I think? Well… I didn't want to tell him that I imprinted on him yet, because I didn't want him to feel burdened. I wanted him to agree to date me and fall in love with me on his own accord. I wanted a normal relationship, and when the time was right, I would tell him. When I was with him, all his words and actions seemed sincere. Despite what led us to this moment, he looked at me with such admiration. Everything felt right. Now that we're apart, and you're here asking me this, I can't help but worry that he is forcing himself. I don't want him to feel obligated, and I don't want him to hate me."
"That's understandable. Still though, I don't understand why you were so worried to talk to me about this. The specifics aside, it seems to be more of early relationship jitters. You said so yourself as well, that you two are testing the waters for a couple of months. It's not like you decided to get married to a stranger."
I couldn't help but stay silent. That's how she summed up this whole conversation in her mind, and normally I would appreciate her for looking at the situation in such a simple and optimistic way, but in this situation, I couldn't necessarily confirm what she was saying.
"You two didn't decide to get married… Did you?"
"No… Not necessarily. You were right in the sense that we will try dating for a couple of months. But depending on how we both feel once that time is up… I will let him mark me."
I could feel her hand flinch on my head when I said that, and it seemed like she was trying to remain calm before she opened her mouth to speak.
"Avery Callhan Hansley, you are nineteen years old. What do you mean 'let him mark me'?"
Shit, she used my middle name. She is pissed.
"There's no way to remove an imprint mom. We asked at the hospital. The only way to stabilize my own pheromones and prevent any reactions around other alphas is to be marked by the one that I imprinted on."
"Avery, you just me this guy. He could be a serial killer for all you know, and you still want him to mark you? I know you are technically an adult, and we treat you as such… But you're still a kid. My baby. Now you're planning on getting marked by a guy you just met?"
"I thought out of everyone, you would have tried to understand and take my side the most."
"Now that isn't fair. You know that I just want what's best for you. To have a happy and safe life, without anything holding you back."
"I know mom, I know. And I say this with the upmost respect, but nothing you say will change my mind or how I feel. It quite literally can't. I imprinted on him. No matter what anyone says, I love him and all I want is to be with him, that won't change."
I tried to speak as sincerely and calmly as I could, but part of me was also angry. All I wanted to do was defend Kai from my mom. I wanted to tell her that he is what's best for me, that I am safe with him, that he will give me an amazing life. But arguing with her wouldn't help anything, and I didn't want a rift to form between us because of this.
"I think we should go to bed, Avery. We can talk about this again later, but for now I need to let all of this sink in."
"Mom… Please don't tell dad yet. I want to be the one to talk with him, please."
"Two weeks. You have two weeks from today to tell your father the way you want to. Any longer than that and I can't guarantee that I will stay quiet about it, okay?"
"Thanks, mom."
After that she tossed the blanket off and walked back upstairs. I finished my water and then grabbed the blanket, folded it, and carried it with me up to my room. I took my shirt and pants off, then hopped into bed. I was hoping the conversation would go better, but it was a lot of information to be told all at once. She didn't seem as upset as she was scared, and I had to reign in my own emotions to be able to see it from her point of view.
I kept replaying my conversation with her over and over again in my head, when I felt my phone vibrate next to me. It was a text message from Kai:
Sorry for the late reply, thanks for letting me know you got home safe. I will let you know what days I am free this week so we can see each other again. Get some rest, sweet dreams.
I read the message then put my phone down and closed my eyes. Between talking with Kai and then having that conversation with my mom I was emotionally drained. Deciding to respond in the morning, I set my phone on the nightstand. All I could think about while trying to sleep was how much I wanted to paint him. I imagined myself at an easel with a canvas freshly prepped with a white coat, the smell of turpentine wafting through the air. I would paint him with blacks and grays, the only color being a deep emerald green in his eyes. I imagined what my brushstrokes would be like, how the light would hit his face. I thought of what expression I would want to immortalize. This helped calm me down, and as I pictured myself painting him I fell asleep.