As the sun started to set a golden hue kissed his pale skin, causing him to look as though he was emitting an ethereal glow before me. I slowly started walking towards him, and once he looked my way he didn't avert his eyes, even as I stood face to face in front of him.
"Hello, Avery. I'm Kai."
You idiot, he already knows who you are. But still… I feel like I need to introduce myself properly.
"Hello, Kai. Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, it means a lot. Shall we go in? I already got us a table, I just came out to wait for you."
His voice was so soft, though I didn't have any issues hearing him. I wanted him to talk more, and I found my prior anxiety washing away as anticipation settled in its place. I couldn't hold back the smile that broke across my face as I responded to him.
"Yes, let's go inside. After you," I said while holding the door open.
He let out a deep breath and walked past me inside, leading the way to our table. It was a corner booth all the way in the back of the restaurant. Despite most of the tables being filled by patrons, the noise was enough to help keep our conversation private, and there weren't any tables in our immediate area. I let Avery sit down first before taking the remaining seat across from him.
The waitress brought us waters before giving us some time to look over the menu. I decided to go ahead and order the 16oz steak, medium rare, with a side of roasted asparagus and a loaded baked potato. Avery ordered the chicken alfredo and a side Caesar salad.
"You can order something else to drink besides water, if you want."
Avery sat there looking nervous, undoubtedly not sure where to start, and attempted to make some small talk instead.
"I appreciate it, but I am okay with water. I do not drink alcohol much anyway."
"Oh alcohol, that's right. I was thinking more about a soda if you wanted, alcohol didn't even cross my mind… How old are you?"
"I am twenty-four years old; I will be turning twenty-five at the end of the year. I believe you are nineteen, correct?"
"That's right, but how did you know?"
"It's a funny story, actually. Your brother has mentioned you before, and he even suggested that we go on a blind together at one point. As to why he would want to set his younger brother up with someone like me still remains a mystery, but anyway, that's how I know a little bit about you already."
"I see. Feels a little unfair, I didn't even learn of your name until yesterday morning. Other than that, I know nothing. Not even how you and he know each other."
Avery's eyes looked sad. It looked as though he had resigned himself to not being able to learn much about me. I don't mind answering any questions he has, but I am not sure what he is looking for here.
"I see. Well, I actually am the owner of the bar Tall Tales. Micah is one of my employees."
"Oh, I see."
"Avery, you can ask me anything you want. When your brother called me last night he didn't go into detail as to why he decided to give you my number, so I am in the dark here. I don't want to say the wrong thing, and if there is something you're expecting to hear then I have no idea what it is."
"It's about last week… I just don't know where to start."
He seems extremely nervous; he won't even look directly at me now that we are sitting in front of each other like this.
"How much do you remember? Maybe let's start there. Or, if you'd like, you can even start with what you were doing in that alley when I found you. But please, don't feel the need to say anything you don't want to."
Avery took a shaky breath, "Okay," he said, then began telling me about how he ended up in that situation. He looked scared as he was telling me about it, his hands were slightly shaking and despite his efforts to hide it I could tell his voice was unsteady. Is it because of what happened, or because it's me he's talking about it with?
It wasn't until he tried to get my attention that I realized my knuckles were white with how hard I was making a fist and that my jaw was cramping with how hard I was clenching my teeth. I was overwhelmed with anger at the alpha who tried to take advantage of him. Was my anger noticeable? Is this why he was anxious telling me that story?
"I'm sorry, I'm not angry at you. I am pissed off at that bastard who tried to take you while he was in a rut like that, and at the other customers for not saying anything to you when they noticed and started leaving."
"It is what it is. Either way, it was my fault for putting myself in that situation. But yeah, that's the story of how I ended up in that alleyway before you found me."
Why does he think it's his fault? He didn't do anything wrong.
"It's not your fault, Avery. Whether you were in heat or not, whether he was in a rut or not, you can't blame yourself. He may not have been in his right mind, but even if you weren't in your right mind either, consent has to be given with a clear head. I'm glad everything turned out okay."
He looked up at me for the first time since sitting down, tears welling up in eyes. His eyes were slightly red from the tears, but that just made the blue pop out even more. He is beautiful even when he cries.
"…Is that… Is that why you told me that it was a mistake? That it… Never should have happened?"
"I… I don't know how to answer that."
The tears started falling slowly, one by one, down his face.
"The easiest answer I can give you is that… We didn't know each other. You weren't in the right state of mind to be asking me to do the things you wanted me to, and even though all I did was… Umm… Use my mouth and hands, you still weren't in the right state of mind to be consenting to that. It was a mistake because none of it was intentional, it shouldn't have happened. I am so sorry that I did what I did. I wish I could say that it strictly came from a place of trying to help you through the pain of your heat, but selfishly… A part of me wanted to do those things to you, and more."
Avery looked stunned at my response, and I could practically see the questions popping up in his mind.
"Then why didn't you? I told you then that I wanted it. So why didn't you?"
"Like I already said, consent given to someone, especially a stranger, when you're that consumed by your heat… It's not consent. I couldn't do that to you."
"Then… What if I told you that even now, I still wanted it?"
I was shocked by that response. I ended up choking on the water that I was taking a sip of, and it took a minute before I could compose myself again.
"You do not know the first thing about me, so how could you say that?"
"This may sound weird, Kai, but even though I can only remember bits and pieces of my time with you, I can't stop thinking about you. The way you made me feel, your scent, your voice, your bright green eyes piercing into me, your large hands… I could go on. The way you did everything in your power to take care of me. You're all I can think about, you consume every waking thought and appear in my dreams."
He feels the same way I have been, who would have thought? But this situation is dangerous. I know that I won't be able to satisfy him in the long wrong. I'm a waste of space as an alpha.
"Avery, there is a lot you don't know about me. And a lot I don't know about you. We can't just move forward off of these feelings alone."
"Wait… Are you saying you have been feeling the same way?" Avery looked hopeful, a small smile forming on his face, and he took his hand over and put it on top of mine.
"If we feel the same way, then there would be no reason for us to not try it out right? Dating, I mean."
"I… I need some time to think about it. Once you learn more about me, you will most likely decide that you don't want anything to do with me anymore."
"Then what if we just got to know each other first? You already decided that I will leave you after hearing more about you, but shouldn't that be my choice to make?"
He did bring up a valid point, but still… Even if he decides to accept me for everything that I am, I won't do anything but ruin his life.
"Kai, what are you thinking about so seriously? It's not like I'm… Proposing to you or anything. I just want us to start seeing each other."
"What other reason do you have other than how you feel about me?" I asked. I came off a little harsher than I meant to, and I felt his hand slightly flinch at my question.
"Isn't how I feel… Enough?"
"Avery, I feel like there is something you aren't telling me. Something had to have happened for Micah to give you my number out of the blue like this. He called me at almost midnight to tell me, it didn't seem like it was a casual thing."
"That's… I don't want to tell you."
"Well, that's hardly fair, isn't it? Not telling me the other reason that you want to start seeing me?"
"It's just… I don't want you to feel obligated to be with me after I tell you. I promise to tell you when the time is right, I won't keep it from you forever. But I don't think anything good will come from talking about it right now."
"How much did your brother really tell you about me, Avery?"
"He only told me your name and nothing else. Why?"
I sat there deciding what to do. He was right earlier, when he said it should be his decision whether or not to stay after hearing about me. But he's also a complete stranger, so is it really smart to dive into my past like this? Maybe it will scare him off for good. If he can finally understand that he needs someone better, he will leave me alone and live a happy life.
"I'm going to be blunt, but there are some things you should know about me. I haven't shared them with anyone else before, and if you decide to stay after I tell you then we can slowly start dating each other. But there is one condition to this."
Avery seemed extremely excited, and he could barely contain himself when he responded back to me.
"What is the condition?"
"After I tell you about myself, if you still decide you want to be in a relationship with me, you have to tell me the other reason why you are so eager to date me."
The blood drained from his face, and his palms started getting slightly sweaty. He took his hand off of mine and wiped it off on a napkin before drinking some of his water.
"Okay, I promise. If you tell me what is so horrible about your past, and about you, and what you are scared of, then I will tell you the whole reason why I wanted to see you again."