When I woke up, my body felt unusually stiff. Oh, right... I had fallen asleep in my school uniform. Still groggy, I went downstairs and found only my sister in the kitchen.
"Where are Mom and Dad?"
"What are you talking about, Kaya? Did you forget what happened yesterday?"
Yesterday? What happened yesterday? The moment I tried to recall, it hit me. Oh... that's right. Mom and Dad are gone.
"They cleaned up quickly, which was a relief. Your breakfast is ready over there."
"...Why? Why are you acting like everything is normal?"
I couldn't help but feel irritated by my sister's calm demeanor.
"Kaya?"
"Mom and Dad are dead! How can you be so calm?"
"...You're confused right now, Kaya. But it's okay. It's going to be okay."
What's okay? I don't understand, I really don't. Not at all.
"Let's take the day off from school. There's a lot to do and I'm sure you need time to process things."
My sister spoke with a level head and began moving around efficiently. All I could do was watch her from the sidelines. Is this how it was for my sister when I died? The thought made me incredibly sad. I left the breakfast she had prepared untouched and returned to my room.
Time passed in a blur, and before I knew it, Mom and Dad's funeral was over. Why did they choose to end their lives? They never showed any signs of it, not once. Even after the funeral, I couldn't bring myself to go to school. More accurately, I couldn't bring myself to step outside. For some reason, I had lost all motivation.
I also realized that since Mom and Dad died, I hadn't shed a single tear. Was I such a heartless person that I couldn't even mourn the death of my own parents? Now that they're gone, I have no idea how to live my life. I just don't know anymore.
When my sister had fallen asleep, I quietly slipped out of the house, wearing only the pendant she had given me. It hadn't helped me pass my entrance exams, and I never really felt any effect from it, but since this might be my last time, I decided to wear it as she had instructed. The night was eerily quiet as I slowly made my way to the bridge. I wasn't sure what the right thing to do was, but I thought that if I could start over, maybe something would change for the better. So I kept walking.
How many times have I seen this same scene? The bridge was always there, unchanged, waiting for me. Not knowing what I really wanted, I found myself here once again. Just as I was about to climb over the railing, someone grabbed me and pulled me back. I turned around, annoyed by the interruption, and saw my sister standing there.
"Kaya, why are you trying to die again?"
"O-nee-chan? Why are you here?"
"That's what I want to know! Why? There's no reason for you to die anymore!"
"Sis?"
"Let's go home. You'll catch a cold if we stay out here. We can talk once we're back."
My sister pulled me by the hand and led me back home. There were so many things I wanted to ask, but sensing that she wouldn't answer, I quietly followed her.
Once we got home, my sister made us both some hot cocoa. After we had settled down, she finally began to speak.
"Kaya, why were you trying to die?"
"...I don't know."
"If you don't know, then why?"
I wanted to die so I could start over, but I didn't really understand why I felt that way. And explaining that dying would reset everything would just make me sound crazy. So I stayed silent, and my sister continued.
"Sigh... Let me take a guess. You think that if you die, you'll go back in time with your memories intact, right?"
"How did you know that?!"
I was so shocked that she had figured it out that I couldn't help but shout.
"I knew it. Kaya, you're like me."
"Like you? Does that mean...?"
"Yes, that's right. Anyway, there's no need to die for those people. From now on, Kaya, you can live your life freely."
The way she casually revealed this earth-shattering truth made it hard for me to believe. I had suspected it at times, but I never thought my sister actually remembered everything too.
"You haven't forgotten what Mom and Dad did to you, have you? So it's fine. You don't have to die anymore, Kaya."
"Y-Yeah..."
The revelation was too much to process.
"You're just confused right now, acting on impulse. Starting tonight, we'll sleep together until you feel more settled. Actually, it's okay if you never do anything again. You've suffered enough. Let's go upstairs and get ready for bed."
Still in shock, I followed my sister upstairs.
"It's late, so we'll share a bed tonight. We can move your bed tomorrow. Come here."
"...Okay. Excuse me..."
After my sister lay down on the bed, I slipped in beside her.
"You're so small, Kaya. We could probably share this bed every night. Haha, when was the last time we did this?"
"Yeah, you're right."
I was still too overwhelmed to think clearly, so my responses were absent-minded.
"Don't wake up before me, okay? Don't go anywhere until I'm up. Good night."
"...Yeah, good night."
My sister held me close like a stuffed animal, making it impossible for me to move. With no other choice, I shut down my thoughts and escaped into sleep.