"Kaya!"
No matter how much I reached out, I couldn't catch Kaya as she fell. How did it come to this? How could she be dying again? Had I failed once more? As I watched her fall, I reflected on how we ended up here.
When Kaya died in our first life, I felt nothing. It was a mystery why she chose to end her life, but that was all. Our parents didn't make a fuss; they didn't even mention Kaya afterward. Life went on as before. I followed their expectations without resistance, attending the best schools, and working part-time as part of my "social experience." Even when I was murdered, I felt nothing. Just a thought: "So, this is the end," as everything faded to black.
When I woke up again and saw Kaya, I was shocked. But until she died again, I continued to retrace the steps of our first life. It wasn't until after she died that I realized my life had meaning only because Kaya was in it. She was the reason I wanted to live.
From a young age, I excelled at everything. It was just natural. No matter what I tried, I succeeded. People's reactions to this usually fell into three categories: they either distanced themselves out of discomfort, became jealous and tried to exclude me, or attempted to get close to me for their own benefit. But I didn't care about any of it.
As a child, I was bad at fitting in, and my abilities often caused friction with others. But it didn't bother me. I was indifferent to how others perceived me. Yet Kaya, with her naivety, would say things like, "I'll protect you, sis. I'll never leave you." It was misguided and foolish, but I found it endearing. I wanted to keep her by my side forever.
True to her word, Kaya defended me and tried to shield me. I realized that if this continued, she would get seriously hurt one day, so I adjusted my behavior. By observing others, I learned how to navigate social situations by the time I entered elementary school. I figured out how to get along with people, and the hostility toward me lessened.
Although my time with Kaya became limited due to my efforts to blend in, it was enough. But as time passed, I forgot that Kaya was the only one who truly mattered to me. No, it wasn't that I forgot—I was scared. Scared of Kaya pulling away from me after we entered middle school. I pretended not to notice.
Once I remembered how much I needed Kaya, I became desperate to keep her alive. In the first two loops, she died in her third year of middle school, so I thought I had time to figure out the cause. But then, she died before even entering middle school, leaving me utterly confused.
I thought attending the same middle school might change things, but this time Kaya passed the entrance exam while I did not, and she still died in her third year. It was a disaster. That's when I realized the problem wasn't the school—it was our parents. I hadn't noticed before how differently they treated Kaya based on her success or failure. Their treatment drove her to death.
For the first time, I felt anger. Until then, I had always succeeded in everything I attempted; I had never failed to achieve what I wanted. I was sure I could save Kaya. But she died again, and I blamed our parents, accusing them of driving her to death. My sudden defiance shocked them, but it quickly escalated into an argument, and in his rage, my father killed me.
When I returned again, I changed my strategy. I had always been reacting too late, so this time, I decided to act first. I installed a tracking app on Kaya's phone so I could always know where she was. I planned to intervene whenever she showed signs of suicidal behavior. But I realized I also needed to get rid of the root cause—our parents. It wasn't about revenge for my murder; I knew they wouldn't remember. But they were a danger to Kaya's future.
While investigating their work, I discovered some illegal activities. I planned to use that information to blackmail them into releasing Kaya. But one day, when I came home, I found out that Kaya had run away. Her phone was at home, and she seemed to be having a good time with her friends, so I let my guard down, thinking I had more time. Luckily, I found her at the Mashibu household, where she had stayed in a previous life, so I brought her belongings over.
My plan was to keep her safe there while I dealt with our parents. I spent some time preparing and putting everything in place when I noticed Kaya walking around outside. She had gone out before, but something felt off this time. When I saw her heading toward the entertainment district, I decided to follow her. I found her just before she could do anything dangerous, and I was relieved to have made it in time.
But just as I managed to save Kaya from being hit by a truck, I ended up getting killed in the process. It was the worst possible outcome. She had finally chosen to leave our parents on her own, yet I still failed. I realized that unless I acted quickly to eliminate the root cause, I would lose her again.
When I returned once more, I immediately devised a new plan. The phone had been inadequate; I needed something she would wear at all times. I acquired a pendant with a GPS tracker and made sure Kaya wore it. Afterward, I quietly eliminated our parents, making it look like a suicide. Although I was suspected at first, it was ultimately ruled as self-inflicted. With the root cause removed, everything should have gone smoothly. It should have... but why didn't it?
There was no point in thinking about it now. The only thing left to do was to follow Kaya and die, then start over. I wouldn't fail next time. As I prepared to jump, a woman's voice stopped me: "You shouldn't do that."