"Hey, Kaya, why are you studying so hard? The end-of-term exams are still far off."
After school, when most of the classmates had already gone home, Mashibu-san spoke to me as I worked through problems with single-minded focus.
"…It's not for the end-of-term exams. It's to make sure I pass the high school entrance exams."
"But it's only the summer of our second year. You're so diligent."
"There's nothing else I can do but this."
Only by working harder than anyone else could I finally catch up. I've always believed that, and that's why I've worked so hard until now.
"It's important to work hard, but if you keep pushing yourself like this, you'll collapse eventually."
"But if I don't do this, I won't be able to pass. …But you're right, I've lost some focus, so I think I'll take a short break."
I must have been tired, as the words had become difficult to read, so I put down my pen and rubbed my temples.
"Yeah, that's a good idea."
For some reason, Mashibu-san seemed pleased that I was taking a break. She really is a strange person. Since I've always been studying, no one ever really talked to me. But now that I think about it, this might be a good opportunity to ask her something I've been curious about.
"Um, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Why do you talk to someone like me?"
I can't keep up with the latest trends like everyone else, and I don't hang out after school or join any clubs. On the other hand, Mashibu-san is always surrounded by friends, laughing and having fun, and she seems to be relied upon by everyone. I often see people asking her for help or thanking her. Even someone like me, who hardly notices anyone else, can see how popular she is. She's also stylish and really pretty. I've always wondered why someone like her would talk to someone like me.
"Why? Hmm, that's a tough question. Well, we first started talking because our seats were next to each other in our first year, but… how should I put this… I just couldn't leave you alone. It's like I felt the need to protect you or something."
Mashibu-san explained with gestures, but I still didn't fully understand. Isn't the instinct to protect something you feel towards someone weak or young?
"Even though we're the same age?"
"Yes. Because you're so small, cute, and always working so hard. That's why you should let me spoil you more."
She said something that didn't make much sense, then pulled me into a hug. I was surprised by the sudden gesture, but being enveloped in her soft, warm embrace made me feel strangely calm. And for some reason, it felt like this wasn't the first time she had held me like this. Even though it should have been the first time, it felt oddly familiar, as if she had hugged me many times before.
"What are you doing, Mashibu-san?"
"Oh, nothing much. I just felt like hugging you. And by the way, I'd like it if you called me by my first name, Mai. Or even Maimai or Mama if you want. I don't like the sound of Mashibu; it feels too massive."
"Is that so? I didn't realize. I'm sorry."
I felt bad for unknowingly making her uncomfortable. Having grown up mostly interacting with my family, I didn't really know how to deal with people.
"Hehe, you don't need to take it so seriously. And you don't have to be so formal with me. We're classmates, after all."
As she said that, Mashibu-san patted my head. For some reason, it made me feel incredibly at ease. But I knew we couldn't stay like this forever.
"Um, how long are we going to stay like this?"
"Well, I'd love to say forever, but… How about you call me by my name, and then I'll let go?"
"Then, is Mai-san okay?"
I never realized she disliked her surname that much. I really felt bad about it.
"That was fast! Did you really not like being hugged? Well, from now on, just call me that. Although, you don't even have to add 'san' if you don't want to."
With that, Mashibu-san—no, Mai-san—finally released me. I hadn't thought about it when I called her name, but as soon as I said it, she let go. Maybe I should have taken a little longer to answer. As I felt the warmth gradually leave me, I found myself missing it, and then, for some reason, she hugged me again.
"Hey, do you mind if I hold you a little longer?"
"…No, I don't mind."
How long had it been since someone held me like this? It was warm and comforting. The steady rhythm of her heartbeat was lulling me to sleep. Just as I was about to let go of my consciousness, Mai-san spoke to me.
"Hey, Kaya. Can I ask you something this time?"
"Yes, but like this?"
"Yes, just like this."
I thought it might be better to separate if we were going to talk, but part of me was relieved that this moment would last a little longer. Still, I adjusted my position slightly so that we could face each other. I was a bit surprised to find her face so close, but she didn't seem to mind and asked her question.
"Kaya, why do you work so hard?"
"…What do you mean?"
Not understanding her question, I reflexively asked back.
"I mean, why do you study so hard? What are you doing it for?"
"Like I said, it's to pass the high school entrance exam—"
"And who are you doing it for?"
"Well, of course, it's for myself. Passing that exam will be good for me."
"…I see. But you know, if you ever feel like you're struggling, you can always rely on me, okay?"
Mai-san said this with a pained expression. Then, without waiting for my response, she hugged me tightly again. It was a bit suffocating, but that expression wouldn't leave my mind, so I just let her hold me.