As time passed, I became more and more certain that I was stuck in a loop. While I didn't remember all the details, I kept encountering familiar scenes and conversations. Even the content of my studies felt familiar. This gave me a significant advantage. If I kept pushing myself, I was sure I could succeed this time.
"Alright, who can solve this problem?"
It was math class at school. But instead of paying attention, I was working through past exam papers in preparation for the entrance exams. I knew it wasn't something to be proud of, but I had no choice if I wanted to pass the exam. The school didn't teach us anything specifically for the junior high entrance exams, and even in middle school, I would need to study on my own to keep up with others. I was already behind, so I had to work much harder than everyone else.
When the class ended and break time began, my routine didn't change. While other kids chatted with friends or played, I continued to study. Since I'd spent my breaks this way ever since the lower grades, no one really talked to me anymore. There were times when I felt envious of the other kids. But I kept studying because I wanted to meet my parents' expectations. As I was lost in my thoughts, someone tapped on my desk. When I looked up, a classmate was speaking to me. What was their name again?
"Hey, Yuu-chan wants you to come over."
Wondering what it was about, I looked over at the door and saw my sister, Yuu, waving at me. I thanked the classmate and walked over to her.
"What's up? Do you need something?"
"No, not really. It's just… well, this isn't the best place to talk, so let's go outside."
With that, my sister led me out to the schoolyard. There was an empty bench in the shade, so we sat down together.
"As twins, it's rare for us to be in the same class. So if we want to talk, one of us has to go to the other's classroom, which is a hassle."
"We can just talk at home, you know."
"We could, but lately, you've been shutting yourself in your room as soon as you get home. We hardly talk anymore."
It was true that while we did talk on our way to and from school, I often retreated to my room as soon as we got home. I preferred studying alone, and having my parents around made it harder to concentrate.
"Well, I'd rather study than chat with you guys. So, what do you want?"
"We used to talk normally before, didn't we? But anyway, like I said, there's nothing specific I want. I just thought that if you kept studying all the time, you'd get depressed, so I wanted to get you out of the classroom for a bit."
It was rare for my sister to talk to me at school, so I wondered what was going on, but it turned out to be something like that. My sister was popular at school, not just because she was good at everything, but also because she was genuinely beautiful. With people constantly around her, we hardly ever talked at school, so why now?
"I'm not depressed or anything."
"Even if you don't realize it, your body gets tired. So you need to take breaks to refresh yourself. And did you know that people who get some exercise tend to be smarter than those who don't?"
"…I think I've heard that somewhere before."
"Right? So instead of sitting and studying all the time, you should get outside and walk around occasionally. I've noticed how hard you've been studying lately, so I thought you could use a change of pace. Studying all the time can wear you out, right? You need to take breaks like this sometimes."
My sister swung her legs back and forth as she spoke, lounging on the bench. For some reason, her carefree attitude irritated me just a little.
"Look, you might pass easily as things are now, but I can't. I have to study much more, and even then, I might not pass. Are we done here? I want to get back to studying before break time ends."
My words came out sharper than I intended. It wasn't like the break was almost over, and I wasn't even in the mood to study right now. But at that moment, I didn't want to hear any of her words—those words of someone who could do anything effortlessly.
"…You're right. I'm sorry for bothering you. But if you ever need anything, come to me right away, whether it's about studying or something else."
"Yeah, I will."
With that, I stood up. I felt bad for making her worry, but I couldn't afford to spend time with her right now. This life was surely a second chance that God had given me. If that was true, then I had to make the most of it and study even harder to repay that kindness.
Time passed, and I approached the entrance exams with complete preparation. But once again, my number wasn't on the results list. My father yelled at me again. Why? Why am I such a failure? Why did I fail again?
But I realized something important. The exam questions hadn't changed. Previously, I had been too shocked by my failures or too focused on other studies to carefully review the exam questions. But now, I remembered. I had definitely seen these questions before.
I had no chance. If I continued like this, there was no way I could pass the high school entrance exam either. If I was going to fail anyway, I might as well try again in the next life. I didn't know how to start over, and maybe I wouldn't be able to. But this seemed like my only option. I would memorize the exam questions as much as I could and then jump again. If I died, so be it. But if I could go back, that would be perfect.
So, I waited until my family was asleep and quietly left the house. Unfortunately, clouds had covered the sky, hiding the moon. But the surroundings were still brightly lit, not that it mattered. When I reached the bridge, the area suddenly became darker, with only a few lonely streetlights illuminating the scene. It was a pity that this might be my last time, and the weather was like this. I tried to focus on remembering the exam questions as I was distracted by the unsettling feeling of free fall. And then, my consciousness faded.