My day shift ended and I walked alone along in the hospital lobby. It wasn't a chaotic day today at work so after my patient endorsements I had spare energy left.
So I found myself tracing the same path I took, passing through for the last couple of weeks now.
It became my habit to visit him at the Neurology ICU department.
I couldn't explain to myself what I felt the first time I saw him unconscious lying on a hospital bed.
It was one of those rarest moment that made me feel as if I was already complete, that I almost cried.
Wondering about him, his identity for I see him in my dreams wasn't an easy task. Up until now, I could still recall how he uttered my name during that accident after we saved him.
Was it me he was referring to or, was he calling out for another woman with the same name as mine?
I went to the nurse station first and greeted my good friend, Jodel. She was the charge nurse on duty in the Neuro ICU tonight.
"Hey girl, what's up? You're here to visit Mr. Gorgeous again, aren't you?", she gave me a teasing smile.
"Yes. I just want to know if he's getting better. Can I read his chart again?"
"Sure girl, just make sure Dr. Lewis won't find out", she laughed. "He got freakin' mad when he learned a lot of nurses are coming over to read his file. You know that's against our rules. Anyway, I heard Mr. Morrison is from a well to do family of sorts. That's why our ICU consultants want everything about him to be kept in a hush, hush." Jodel whispered.
"I see. He certainly has that kind of look about him." I frowned a little.
"Oh not just his looks", she giggled. "He has huge 'assets', too. As in huge! You know what I mean".
Oh, I know definitely what she meant. It's not about his wealth she's pertaining about.
Jodel widened her eyes, placed her hands together then slowly parted them till they were about 12 inches apart. I acted upon her exaggerations, my eyes widened while I covered my lips as if I was in a total shock.
We laughed together at our craziness. Anyway, we made sure that no other person can hear our conversation because it's unethical to talk about patient's 'assests'. We just couldn't help ourselves from kidding around.
Soon I was entering his room slowly, gently opening the door while wearing a clean gown and gloves. There were some sedations hooked unto his IV to keep him medically unconscious. His doctors wanted him properly rested. I saw a chair besides his bed. I sat there and stared at him.
He looks so peaceful and his handsome face not covered with blood, cuts and bruises anymore. The small cut on his forehead healed and there was no blood on the dressing.
Next, I focused on studying his features. I secretly prayed he will wake up even for just a second of a fraction because I want to stare at those deep coral blue colored eyes of his again.
His nose so perfectly shaped and thank God it wasn't broken during the accident. His lips were pinkish hue. So kissable, so...
Gasping. I looked away.
Breathless. I tried to calm myself.
Avoiding having lusty thoughts about a suffering man.
I glanced at his cardiac monitor. His vital signs were stable. I smiled. He's getting better and he was well on the way.
I took a deep breath and held his right hand. Caressing the back of his fingers.
This wasn't the first time I allowed myself to touch him.
His hand were a bit rough to touch.
Slightly callused.
He must be a workaholic type of person, I bet.
I caressed the back of his hand slowly with my thumb as I held his hand.
To my shocked reverie, his hand moved and squeezed mine. I automatically looked up and found him staring at me intently. Our gazes met and I was left speechless.
With bated breath I tried pulling my hand away in embarassment but his grip was firm.
He caught me doing something to him that I wasn't allowed to do for I was a total stranger to this man. I wasn't allowed to touch him.
However, he just kept looking at me, as if he was studying me as I was looking at him, too. We were staring at each other for a long time.
After awhile, when I guessed he wouldn't say anything, I started introducing myself to him.
I cleared my throat first.
"Mr. Morrison, my name is Nicolaa. I'm your nurse on duty for tonight". I gave him a shy, small smile.
He didn't respond.
I assumed he doesn't remember me rescuing him. Wishing he would buy my alibi, I continued talking.
"You're looking great now, your vitals are currently stable but the doctor wants to keep you here with us in the Neuro ICU of the DM Hospital for a while for further observations".
He was still and quiet.
I started feeling warm and awkward.
Gosh! I'm lying through my teeth here.
Being caught by him unguarded was maddening. I planned to do a hasty retreat. So I stood up.
"I'm glad to see that you're doing well, I have to go now to attend to my other patients".
I gave him a forced small smile then hastily left. But before I opened the door, I heard his deep, baritone voice uttering...
"Please come back to me, Nicolaa".