Isabell walked to the building of law and headed straight to her classroom. Thoughts were roaming in every corner of her mind. Just two days had passed but to her, it felt like coming to University after weeks, months, or even years
It's different, it's going to be different every single day from now on. I don't know, I don't know what am I gonna say to Stev– to that monster when I see him. How the hell am I supposed to react after looking at that face? I know I've been good at faking smiles my entire life but I am not that strong. I can't just casually smile at a beast.
I am tired
I am tired, Isabell. Please stop. I can't, can't do this anymore
I am---
Last time, Isabell. Please, I am begging you. For the last time, for one more time, Isabell. Pretend, pretend, pretend to smile. Fake, fake, fake a smile. You can let everything go in vain
You have to fightand make them see hell
Isabell stepped into the room, eyes shut, face drooped, her hair hanging down. She stopped at the door and lifted her face, she could see Ashley who was staring at her but the chair next to her was empty.
Steve wasn't there and that never happened before
"Where is Steve, Ash?" She asked, walking to her chair. Ashley didn't reply, she was suspiciously silent
For a moment
"Did he not tell you?" Her eyes stared at Isabell, strangely "Tell me what?" She asked, confused
"What?"
"What?"
"That he got into an accident" Complexions of uncertainty appeared over her face "What are you saying?" She couldn't help to feel empathy with him but her face was lost in confusion.
The last time I saw Stev-- Letha-- Monster, he was absolutely fine, sitting on a couch brutally murdering an Innocent boy and screaming in joy from his painful cries
"Yeah, yesterday he fell from his bike and hurt his eyes," Ashley said, the confusion was on her face now "Bike? Eye?" Steve could fool Ashley by connecting some random words but when it comes to Isabell, she asks for everything to make sense
"Yeah, he fell from a bike, and his eye got crashed into a rock"
It doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense he doesn't have a bike. He never rides a bike. What happened? Why does he even have to lie?
"That-" actually sounds relaxing "That" relaxing, peaceful and beautiful "How is he doing now?" She hardly blocked the thoughts and finally chose to sit down "He said he was okay, I think we should visit him today after the classes" No thanks "Yeah, yeah, of course, we should but like, I won't- want to go but I- we have a family event today" Lame? "Oh, it's alright, yep fine" works with Ash
"I'm really sorry"
"Nah, it's okay, I will pass your get well soon and things to him" No thank you "That would be a huge favor, I would visit him-" probably never "Soon"
"As you should" She laughed a little and shrugged her words with it "I still can't believe he didn't tell you, Izzy," Ashley said after a pause, she moved her face toward Ashley
"Maybe- maybe he has. Like I didn't check my phone from yesterday" And when she tried to remember the reason behind not touching her phone, the only word that hit her mind was
Sebastian
His unreplied messages
And now Sebastian wasn't in her inbox but in front of her walking through the door to the class. He never passed the greetings but the first thing he did after entering the room was to gaze at Isabell which she dogged without any hurdle. He started at her, his eyes looked usually dark, he adjusted his necktie and without a word, he walked to his desk
He started the lecture and it was flawless as usual but the bitterness in his tune had increased and it somehow matched the first weeks of his classes and the amount of hush in the room testified it.
The center first was close to him, a few feet away from where he was delivering the lecture.
Isabell's hands were moving but they were never writing any words he was uttering but scribbling on the paper, making random shapes, writing random words completely absent from her seat and Sebastian could see the zoned-out Isabell from a distance. His eyes kept on her but Isabell never dared to look up at Sebastian. She felt his gaze and her nervous hands started to make corners of circles on the notepad but it didn't help her so she just stooped her the pen, rested her fingers down, and shut her eyes, her face still down
The class was already over when she returned from her imagination to the world and when Isabell saw Sebastian walking towards her she yelled some words to herself
LET ME EMBARRASS US FOR THIS LAST TIME
I swear I am sorry for what am I about to do, Isabell!
When she stopped yelling, Isabell was already running to the door making every eye in the class stare at her, she never looked back
Shit shit shit
EMBARRASSING!
Were the only things she managed to scream
She ran through the corridor, to the grounds, the parking lot to her car like a two-year-old kid, and the first time she felt her breath coming back to normal was when she reached her home.
She inhaled
Exhaled
Inhaled
Exhaled
And yelled
"Don't You Ever" Her index finger intensely pressed the forehead "Try to think about what you just did, Isabell!" She ordered herself and unlocked the main gate of her house
Isabell's stop wasn't her room but the one of her brother
Okay
Relax, Okay?
Taking two deep breaths at the door and concealing her lips with a bright-big-mocking smile Isabell went in. She opened the door to his room beaming
"Happy Independence Day, Brother" She congratulated him with a clap along with a laughter
"I'm very much grateful for your kindness, Lawyer Isabell Harrington" Xavier scoffed at her. She didn't say much but moved to remove blockers from his windows with the same smile "This is highly inappropriate to freak the living hell out of your younger brother, Sissy" Be said, making a pout from his lips
"I thought you'd break them," She said still working on them
"I thought of that too but consequences are hard to bear, IzyWizy" He scorned "Hah! You get smart, monkey" Xavier showed her a tough in reply
"Why are you like this, Isabell?"
"I really don't know myself" she smiled, not to mock him this time but with a sad smile
"Okay, so we are done" Isabell announced, turning around, "And If you cause any trouble again, they are going to come back to haunt you again, Sergeant" Isabell slipped the blockers into the pocket of her jacket. "Yes, Commander" He replied with a salute and Isabell approached the door.
"You should stop this, Izzy" His words halted her legs "Maybe you should stop with the trouble then" She cracked still not sounding happy, Xavier never replied and she closed the door.
"I'm going out, tell Mom when she comes home" She heard his shout from inside "Okay" She replied
When Isabell stepped into her room her phone vibrated again and her mind said it could be a message from Steve telling her about his accident or not to worry about him or something and she needed some breaths before that.
Isabell sat on her bed, slipped her cell phone out of her pocket, and fell back on the bed holding her phone far from the face. She unlocked her phone and it dropped on her nose
Ahhh!
She cried silently
Unknown: Isabell!
Unknown: Are you trying to ignore me?
She had no plans of replying to Sebastian and because of that, she let her phone rest on her forehead.
After five more minutes, it vibrated again and she peeked at the message from the lock screen
Unknown: You should consider a reply, Isabell.
And smashed her phone over the forehead again
Eleven minutes and no reply later. It buzzed and this time it fell from her head, she picked it up again
Unknown: I know your address.
She stared at the message and blinked and read it again and again she knew what those words were supposed to mean, and when they were Sebastian's words they meant exactly what they said but she still decided to ignore them.
Isabell was still on her bed, lying down with her face staring at the boxes on her ceiling, her legs hung down the bed moving up and down when she heard a beep. Her legs stopped moving and she sat up
"Is Zavy home already?" She asked herself but she was supposed to look through the window to confirm it.
Isabell lifted her body from the bed, and her legs moved to the window but there was no Xavier in front of the main gate, it was the person in her inbox
A wave of shock passed all over her body, she clenched her fingers over her mouth. Isabell spun her body
She knew she never had any plan of bringing Sebastian inside and other than that her room wasn't even messy but she needed to adjust that one shrunken corner of her bed sheets and throw those two casually standing boxes of cranberry juice into the dustbin.
After every inch of the room seemed perfect she almost ran to the door and opened it after spending an entire minute on getting oxygen in.
Her eyes weren't seeing things. It was Sebastian in a dark half-sleeve T-shirt and black jeans, leaning back to his car, waiting for her peacefully.
Isabell sealed her lips because she hadn't told her how to speak or how to behave in front of him right now. Sebastian stood upright, he walked towards Isabell, making the heart skip beats after every step. He stopped two feet away from her and her lips squeezed tighter
He stared
She stayed silent
"Maybe you should say 'Let talk' or something like that," he said
"Why are you here?" Sebastian never told her to ask that "You already know the reason, Isabell" His voice was dense and another level of terrifying "I don't have anything to talk to you about" He took a step forward, and his expression stayed in place
"But I have and I'm not leaving without talking"
"Sebastian, I—"
"Tell me why?' he said, inhaling sharply "Why are you ignoring me?" She took a step back
"I-I am not ignoring you. Why would I do that" She tried to laugh but she couldn't. Sebastian moved his face to the side
"Why are you ignoring me, Isabell?" He repeated
Silent stayed on her lips for some moments and then they detached along with a furious stare in her eyes "I'm sorry but what made you think like that, Mr. Lightwood?" She asked in a harsh tone, and his face shifted back toward her
"Are you kidding me?" His gaze sharpened
"No, I'm not. But would you please explain to me exactly how I ignored you, Mr. Lightwood" Sebastian breathed out in annoyance
"You didn't reply to my messages, Isabell. You ignored me in the university today" Isabell masked her face with confusion and irritation "Why would I do that?" She threw the question at his face
"Why are you behaving like we are strangers?" His loud words sent quivers down her body, she closed her eyes, interwoven her lashes
"We are strangers" She opened them and they were sparking anger "What made you think we are close, Mr. Lightwood?"
"For God's sake, Isabell, stop addressing me like this" Sebastian breathed out sharply as if he was barely managing to stop himself from bursting at Isabell
"Then how am I supposed to address a Professor, Sir?" His mouth fell open in shock
"Isabell!"
"Why are you acting like we are close?"
"Don't play with words. I know you- you are hiding something" She laughed, nervously.
"Why would I—"
"What happened?" He asked
"Why would I—"
"Is there something bothering you?" His voice dropped suddenly when he looked at her face. She didn't say a word
"Please," He said softly, his voice heavy with concern, she tried to laugh "Please, Isabell" His tone went softer and she never laughed again, His voice melted all the tough expression away
Her silence appeared again and her face fell, she stared at her hands, empty. She closed them, opened them, and then curled her fingers "Sebastian" Her voice said, a drop of fluid hanging in her eye "Please leave. I can't- I can't talk" The tears filled her entire eyes
"Isabell" He called, taking one more step forward and Isabell took one backward again "What happened?" He asked, his voice softened, almost like a warm whisper
"Nothing" Isabell closed her eyes as if shutting them would hide her tears from him "Nothing happened, nothing could happen now, Nothing" And the tears started to roll down her cheek
"Isabell" Sebastian's hands lifted trying to hold her but her feet moved back.
"Tell me what's bothering you," He said, his calm voice never helped Isabell to relax but caused her tears to stream faster. She wanted to stop herself from crying, but her brain had stopped coming up with suggestions so her hands helped.
Her nails started to scratch her skin and her eyes absorbed all the tears that were about to fall "Go away" She said but he never moved
"Go" she hardly yelled
Sebastian could see Isabell hurting herself and he seemed to be hating it more than anything
"Stop doing it" His voice was low and intense, and didn't react to her. Her skin started to scrap leaving white lines on the back of her hands
"STOP HURTING YOURSELF, ISABELL!" Her nails listened to him, they stopped but his shout made some overpasses stop too. A couple of people stopped and stared at them.
"Let's talk inside," He said, grabbing Isabell's hand and taking her inside of the house. She never found the right time to stop walking or throw his hand away so she just followed him without resisting
Isabell sat on the couch in the living room while Sebastian stood beside her pouring a glass of water "Here" He said passing the glass to her
"I don't want—"
"Drink it!" He ordered and Isabell listened this time, she kept her eyes closed hiding the tears from him. She took one sip and put it back on the table
He ran a hand through his hair and rested it back on his neck, anger was still visible all over his face "Are you feeling better?" he said after a pause, She nodded
"I told you, Isabell" he slowly took the space by her side over the couch "I told you it won't be easy. I know the thing about Steve is preying on your mind but you- you can't hurt yourself like this" Her hands covered her face, she forgot Sebastian was sitting right beside her when she broke down in tears. He looked at her, eyes loosened up and distressed
"Isabell, Don't…" He lost his words as her body started to shiver
"You always knew how dangerous it was" he continued to speak "But you still decided to get involved with them, Isabell. And now we are going to stop all of this. I'm going to help you change the title of your Legal Case Studies right now" Isabell's hands fell down
"No," She said, her eyes still soaked. His face expressed shock and he couldn't speak a word
"It's not- it's not about St— it's not about him" He stayed silent "I know. I know I sound crazy and I know you will think the same but I can't leave it. I have to do it. I have to, Sebastian" Her entire being drenched in regret she looked like sorrow was engulfing her body "No, I won't think like that about you and Isabell you–" She broke in
"You are not going to stop me. Please, please" A tear traveled down her cheek
"Hey," he said,
"Just trust me with this. I can do it, I have to do it. I can't tell you the reason you are…" her stare attached to a space
"Listen to me" he placed a hand on her shoulder
"You—"
No no no no "No, no no. Don't ask me the reason, please, I can't tell you, Sebastian. You are going to hate me for it" Her words paused, hands trembled again
"Hey" his voice softened, her swollen eyes looked at him
"You will hate me, you will hate me"
"Isabell, I am never ever going to hate you" Her tears stopped in her eyes, her hands froze, and she looked at him
"Maybe" she whispered "Maybe you will. Maybe you will do after knowing the reason" Sebastian's fingers tightened their grip
"I will not and I—"
"I'm not a good person. I hurt people, I hurt everyone. I know In future I'm going to hurt you too. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I know you will never forgive me I know she will never forgive me, no matter what I do, I can't fix it and—"
"No one ever said it was your fault," He said, her breaths stopped, and she looked at him, there was nothing else to stare at but his face, worried, anxious
"I know everything" her eyes widened, brain went all numb "Mr. Conner called me, he was worried about you"
"Kno- know What?" She managed to speak, Sebastian lowered his head, inhaled, shut his eyes
"I-" he breathed out "I have always known everything, Isabell" The pressure in Isabell's blood kept on rising, she wanted to scream but there was nothing left in her body to scream,
"Everything?" She manages to take one more word out before becoming motionless