Chereads / Some Weird Sitcom / Chapter 9 - Remember That Time Our Dog Was Taken Hostage

Chapter 9 - Remember That Time Our Dog Was Taken Hostage

It was a normal day in the Tempest household, his mom was out drinking coffee with her friends, which left Tempest to deal with his little brother; Koulis and their French bulldog; Dobina.

Dobina was sleeping, but Koulis was in a much wilder situation. 

-"I FUCKING TOLD YOU I'D BEAT YOU, YOU DISFIGURED FAILED ABORTION OF A HUMAN BEING!" Koulis was trash talking while gaming. 

-"Jesus dude could you quiet down? I'm trying to sleep here." Tempest told Koulis. 

-"But it's literally five PM, how the hell are you even drowsy now?" 

-"I slept at nine AM, and don't you dare judge my sleep schedule because we both know the only reason you're awake right now is because you pulled the sixth all-nighter in a row." Tempest called out Koulis. 

-"Man shut yo dumbass, hating ass up. Besides, you have to get up either way." 

-"Why?" 

-"To come to my birthday party. Mom is gonna come any minute to take us to the place we agreed it'll take place." Koulis explained. 

-"And why do I have to come?" 

-"Just get off your lazy fatass already, damn." 

-"Fine" Tempest said reluctantly. 

The two brothers got ready and a few minutes later their mother arrived to pick them up. 

-"Why are you bringing Dobina?" Tempest asked Koulis, who was carrying the dog to the car for some reason. 

-"We're going to a mountain, and I figured this would be a good opportunity for her to lose weight." Koulis answered. 

They were, in fact, not going to a mountain, but rather a park that happened to be near a hill. 

Tempest was too bored to deal with Koulis, so he just went on with it. 

Tempest's Mom was blasting music at max volume throughout the entire car ride, which rendered Tempest unable to take his well-deserved, much needed nap. 

Alas, after about half an hour of driving, they had arrived. 

-"Where the hell are your friends?" Tempest asked Koulis. 

-"I dunno, I told them the party would be happening at a mountain." 

-"HUH? You literally only told them we'd meet up at a mountain?! That is not clear at all, and again, we aren't even on a mountain right now!" Tempest was absolutely bewildered by Koulis' complete inability to plan. 

-"Shut up you literally look like the baby of a British person and a rotten tomato. Besides, we don't need my friends, your friends are more interesting anyways." Koulis said. 

Despite the fact that Tempest had only invited Roufail, Micheal decided to pop up anyway. The brothers knew better than to try figuring out how the hell Micheal found out about a party he wasn't even invited to, so they didn't even get surprised by his appearance. 

-"Why did you only invite me though?" Roufail asked Tempest.

-"I didn't even want to come here, the only reason I invited you was so that I'd have someone to watch over Koulis for me." Tempest answered. 

-"Couldn't you have given that responsibility to someone else?" 

-"Kewmed would arguably be worse than letting Koulis all alone, meanwhile Leo would probably figure out my plan." Tempest explained. 

The party was going... About as well as a party with only four people and a dog on top of a hill could go, when suddenly, a dark figure appeared at the top of the hill. 

-"I FINALLY FOUND YOU, KOULIS! OR SHOULD I CALL YOU, KOULISPOWER!?" The man yelled out. 

That was, in fact, Koulis' username on the majority of online games he played. 

-"Who the hell is that?" Tempest asked. 

-"Oh, it's the dude I beat before we came here." Koulis answered. 

-"God damn it Koulis I told you not to shit talk people online. Imagine if he doxxed us!" 

Meanwhile, Micheal was trying to have a main character moment. 

-"Don't worry guys, I'll stop this dude!" 

He said as he started running towards the dude, only to slip and roll down the hill. 

-"Enough with this! You will disrespect me no more! PREPARE FOR MY ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE!" The man yelled out before chanting the name of his technique. 

-"WEATHER REPORT: ULTIMATE STORM!" 

An apocalyptic storm then started raining down on the area around the hill out of nowhere. 

The boys ran to Tempest's Mom's car to protect themselves from the rain, only to realize shortly after that they forgot Dobina. 

-"WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING HER?!" Roufail yelled at Koulis. 

-"I KNOW RIGHT?!" Tempest agreed with Roufail's sentiment. 

-"Shut up you idiots. Look, the rain is over, the dude was complete fodder. Let's just go get Dobina." Koulis said. 

Meanwhile, Micheal was still rolling down the hill, and only stopped around the same time the brothers and Roufail came back. 

They looked for Dobina for half an hour, until Tempest's phone rang with a new text message from an unknown number. 

The message read:

This is XXEpicGamer6969XX. I took your stupid dog hostage. The only thing I demand is a rematch, if you win I give you your dog back, if I win... Well, let's just say you're never seeing your dog again.

-"God damn it Koulis, this is what happens when you don't listen to what I say. What even happened between you and this dude anyways?" Tempest asked. 

-"I beat him on Rocket League fifteen times in a row and trash talked him every time I won." Koulis explained. 

It was clear what they had to do. Koulis would give XXEpicGamer6969XX the rematch he wanted, while Tempest and Roufail would assemble a team to go find XXEpicGamer6969XX to rescue Dobina in case Koulis didn't win. 

Tempest's team was composed of Roufail, Kewmed, Leo and, well, Tempest. 

Koulis had Micheal and that was pretty much it. 

-"Hey why the hell must Micheal be with me?!" Koulis asked. 

-"We just didn't want him to ruin everything if he came with us." Tempest answered. 

-"And what if he distracts me and makes me lose the match?!" 

-"Come on, you beat the dude fifteen consecutive times. The only reason we're going there is in case he pussies out of the deal and hurts Dobina even if he loses." Tempest explained. 

After that, Tempest's group started working towards locating XXEpicGamer6969XX's location, which should be easy enough as Dobina was shedding like crazy during that time, so her hair acted as the perfect trail. 

EPIC TRANSITION TO KOULIS

-"Alright you overgrown piece of expired dandruff, time to beat you again." Koulis told XXEpicGamer6969XX. 

Their match had just started, and Micheal was already distracting Koulis. 

-"Hey, you need to go right! Wait no, go left, wait uhhh." He tried giving him advice. 

-"Shut up! If you don't talk for half an hour I'll give you a billion dinosaurs!" Koulis told Micheal. 

This was completely sarcastic, as Koulis was just mad at Micheal's tendency to ruin everything, but to his complete and utter bewilderment, Micheal believed him and legitimately stopped the waffling for once. 

EPIC TRANSITION TO TEMPEST'S GROUP 

The Dobina rescue team had just arrived at XXEpicGamer6969XX's location. It was an old dirty run down house that had windows, no doors and black mold everywhere. The only things stopping it from being considered a trap house was the wifi router and the PC XXEpicGamer6969XX used to game. 

The group entered the house and reached his room, only to realize, Koulis was losing!

-"How the hell is this possible?!" Leo asked in bewilderment. 

-"No... It makes perfect sense, look!" Tempest pointed out. 

XXEpicGamer6969XX wasn't even touching his keyboard. Yet, his car in-game was beating Koulis' ass. He was using cheats.

-"The bastard! That can't possibly count!" Roufail said. 

-"No, he never made it clear that cheating wasn't allowed. It sucks, but he's allowed to do it. Besides, we'll just jump in to save Dobina if Koulis loses." Tempest explained. 

Dobina was in fact safe, as XXEpicGamer6969XX had just locked her inside a plastic cage that both Tempest and Kewmed could easily break if they wanted to. 

As expected, XXEpicGamer6969XX won. But right before the boys made their move to rescue Dobina, he made a proposal to change the deal. 

-"Hey, noob. If you beat me even ONCE, I'll let your dog go! Deal?" he said.

-"Come on, there's no way he accepts it. I mean, we've literally gone unnoticed and can easily save Dobina at this distance. Accepting this deal would just lead to an endless amount of matches that Koulis has a 0% chance of winning-" Leo was interrupted when Koulis yelled out 

-"IT'S ON, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" 

So loudly that it echoed throughout the entire world. 

And thus, Purgatory began, with the boys being forced to sit and watch as a skilless idiot no-diffed Koulis over and over again. 

-"I don't get it. Why can't we just save Dobina now? Who cares about the deal at this point?" Kewmed asked Tempest. 

-"It's not just about the deal. If we jump in now, Koulis' pride will be shattered, and he'd probably do a bunch of other stupid shit that would lead to even bigger problems down the line just to spite me." Tempest replied. 

However, what everyone in that room had failed to consider was Tempest's entertainment. During the third match, all possible sources of entertainment had disappeared, and thus, Tempest got bored. 

Kewmed realized what was happening eventually, but it was too late at that point. 

Tempest fell to the ground, and upon getting back up, he acted and looked like a completely different person. 

He now had a wide grin that span across his face, his eyes were wide open but his pupils were dilated to insane degrees. Finally, he walked up to XXEpicGamer6969XX and intensely looked at him, before telling him. 

-"You. Are. Boring."

Tempest then grabbed XXEpicGamer6969XX and threw him against the wall so hard that he broke right through it. He proceeded to pummel him with so much force that XXEpicGamer6969XX's body was exclusively standing due to the shock and pain he was experiencing. If not for that, he would've fallen unconscious. 

Meanwhile, Koulis had subconsciously adapted to the hacks that the bot was using, and eventually, he even surpassed it in skill. Like that, Koulis landed the winning goal at the exact same time that Tempest landed his final punch, launching XXEpicGamer6969XX five miles away. 

Dobina was saved, Koulis' pride was restored and Tempest's rampage had ended. 

All the while Micheal had lost track of time and was standing alone in a dark room, waiting for Koulis to announce the thirty minutes had passed.