Background information: I am an American-born Chinese female. My legal name is Leah, and my preferred name is Raine. I identify as non-binary and go by he/she/they pronouns. The Gods commonly use he/him pronouns me, whereas humans commonly use she/her for me. I am asexual, autistic, and psychotic.
Trigger warnings: discussions of sexual assault and rape, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, conspiracy theories. Also I don't sensor slurs or swear words. This story is not for kids.
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When I was around 19 years old, I made a prayer that God would give me a romantic partner who was good for me; not necessarily the kind of person that I would want, but good for me.
In what felt like magic, an old friend from high school messaged me on Skype, and I started relying on him for emotional support. His name was Richard, and he became my best friend. However there was a problem; whoever granted my prayer must have misunderstood the true nature of my relationship with Richard, for you see, there was an incident that happened during high school in which Richard took sexual advantage of me, and even though it looked as though I consented on the surface, it counted as sexual assault because I was too young at the time to understand the concept of sex.
Eventually Richard sexually assaulted me a second time, and this time it was bad enough to give me PTSD. Despite this I stayed friends with him anyway because he was the only friend I had at the time, and I was desperate for companionship. Several years after the second sexual assault, when I was 23, I finally confronted Richard about the assaults. I got him to apologize and work on helping me heal. Unfortunately PTSD is very difficult to heal from; in fact most people never make a full recovery and have to live with the aftereffects of trauma forever. It was during this time that Richard and I officially started dating, which I now know was a horrible idea, but he was so eager to date me and I still had a hard time saying no after all these years. When I finally realized how disgusting it is to date my own rapist, I cut ties with him forever.
The aftermath wasn't pretty. I went overboard on my quest for revenge. I sent Richard two thousand text messages telling how much of a loser he was. I took my anger out on other people too, most of whom were toxic people who probably deserved it, but there were a few people who were innocent and didn't deserve it.
It was during this time in the beginning stages of my trauma recovery that a Demon revealed himself to me. Who knows why? Maybe he pitied me, or maybe there was just something about me that interested him. Or maybe he was the one who set me up with Richard and felt bad about it. The Demon started guiding me during everyday life, helping me through the healing process. He taught me who he was by showing me a video on YouTube from the Bible Project, called The Satan and Demons. He explained to me he was one of the fallen cherubim who rebelled against God. Three of the most powerful and corrupt rebels were the Demons of Money, Sex, and Military Power, and the Demon I made friends with happened to be the Demon of Military Power, also known as the God of War. There were many other demons too, most of whom I couldn't identify because I couldn't hear their voices clearly, but one that stood out was the Goddess of Envy. She mostly observed from the background, not really interacting with me but helping me from the sidelines.
For about a year, the Demon and his siblings helped me with my problems. They taught me important lessons such as how to stop being afraid of making mistakes. They helped me attempt to send Richard to jail, and although the police didn't listen, I still appreciate what the demons did to try to help. When I was grieving about my dog that died years ago, the Demon pretended to be the voice of my dog and comforted me.
At one point in time the Demon tricked me into thinking that world was going to end the next day, which caused me to curl up on the ground in a fetal position. The Demon asked me to swear my loyalty to him, and I agreed. After that he revealed that the world wasn't really going to end tomorrow; he just told me that so I would bow down before him and swear my loyalty.
"You're not mad?" he asked.
"No, I'm just relieved that the world isn't going to end tomorrow," I said.
One day while lying down with my eyes closed, I saw a vision of a person trapped at the bottom of the ocean, and this person had the body of a giant squid. The bottom of the ocean was where Hell truly was. Down on the ocean floor there was no light and no sound, and there was immense water pressure weighing down so that you couldn't move or feel. It was like being trapped inside a living nightmare of sleep psychosis. Also the bottom of the ocean was incredibly filthy due to all of the fish carcasses, feces, urine, and human garbage that collects down there.
The worst part was that this person could not die; she had been there for nine thousand years. The giant squid's body was too well-adapted to be living under the ocean.
I told my therapist over Facetime, "It's not a snake; it's the tentacle of a giant squid. When you kill the snake, a bunch of new tentacles will grow where the old one was, and you only killed one tentacle, and squids have lots of tentacles. You're supposed to befriend the snake, that way you befriend the whole squid. And I made friends with a really, really big giant squid, the kraken. The three biggest krakens are the Demons of Money, Sex, and Military Power, and I befriended the Demon of Military Power, also known as the God of War. The God of War is also technically the God of Games. Because if you really think about it, war is a type of game, a very dangerous game where there's a lot of violence and death, and most of the time the sides are unequal. Good types of games exist too, such as sport, where there's no death and the sides are on equal ground. He's the God of the good types of games too, such as sports and video games.
The real Kingdom of Hell is at the bottom of the ocean. You would think that in order to swim back to the surface the solution is to get bigger and more powerful, but actually it's a trap. The bigger they get, the more they sink. This is what happens to humans who are too aggressive and dangerous to live on the surface; they get reborn as giant squids at the bottom of the ocean, where there's no light, no sound, immense water pressure weighing down on you, and it's filthy. And they cannot die. It can take thousands of years for the giant squid's body to finally die."
"The truth is, we don't enjoy being giant squids either, nor do we like being at the bottom of the ocean. It's filthy down here," said the Demon. "But we don't have any other choice. No other animal on Earth is big and powerful enough to contain our massive strength, and when we try to go up on land we end up causing natural disasters, killing lots of humans by accident. The only place where we can reside and safely interact with humans is at the bottom of the ocean."
When I lay in bed the next day in the middle of a PTSD episode, I imagined Richard being one of those giant squids stuck at the bottom of the ocean wallowing in his misery and deserving every moment of it.
The Demon said, "You'd sentence him to that kind of fate? But you don't know what it's like down here. It's awful."
I told him, "I don't want to send him down there for real. I'm just imagining it to release anger. I agree with you that this kind of punishment should only used as a last resort. And if I had committed the same crimes as you did, I'd accept the same kind of punishment for myself."
The Demon caressed me and chuckled. "You are full of surprises."
My trauma made it difficult for me and the Demon to communicate. I told the Demon, "I want to keep the connection, but I don't want it to hurt. There must be a way for us to transform the connection between us so that it doesn't hurt me anymore. God must know how to do that. Why don't we ask her?"
The Demon said, "When you tell me to ask God for help, you have no idea what you're asking."
Then I realized something. "Wait. Demons are just fallen Cherubs who once served on God's court. Which means you guys know each other!"
"Of course we know each other. She's our Mom," said the Demon.
I reassured him, "You did good things for humanity too. Video games have helped me immensely when it comes to connecting with other people."
The Demon turned towards the sky and shouted out, "See? I did do good things for the humans! I gave them video games!" Then he started praying to God, and whatever he said to her was personal, for I wasn't allowed to hear the rest of the conversation.
At some point, God revealed herself to me. She explained to me that she was the Hebrew God who rescued the Israelites out of Egypt, gave Moses the Ten Commandments, and created Judaism. I watched the story of Exodus on YouTube, and when it got the part where the Israelites betrayed God by worshipping idol statues, I started weeping, but they were not my own tears; they were God's. She remembers every instance that her people betrayed and disappointed Her, and she still feels grief and pain every time she remembers. The humans who betrayed her in the story of Exodus might be long gone by now, but Yaweh still remembers, and it still hurts her to this day.
God also showed me a portion of the amount of suffering she listens to every day. It was only a tiny fraction of what she experiences, but it was horrible and overwhelming. I heard millions of voices crying, begging for help, cursing out in anger, screaming in pain. This is the suffering of human voices from the people on Earth. I was sobbing, "I can't take it! Make it stop!" And she said, "Then go to sleep and I'll take it away." So I did.
As time went by, more strange things started happening. I began hearing more and more voices, and I lost my memory sometimes. I allowed spirits to possess me sometimes, and one time the possession was so strong I stopped denying the spirits were real for a brief time.
I didn't know it at the time, but many spirits in the afterlife were beginning to believe I was the Messiah. This tends to happen a lot to humans who are too good for their own good. They followed me around everywhere, hanging on to my every word.
I started to learn a little more about what happens in the Spiritual Realm. There was a reason why burnt offerings are commonly used for prayer. It's like from the musical Dear Evan Hanson, there's that one song that goes "I'm sending pictures of the most amazing trees! You'll be obsessed with all my forest expertise!" Trees are one of Evan's special interests. It makes him happy to look at them and study them, and the same applies for God.
God likes trees a lot. Why? Because she thinks they're neat. It's one of her most favorite special interests. When we give God burnt offerings, we are gifting her trees.
"Because we know God likes trees, so we thought that by gifting her lots of trees all at once, she would forgive us and let us back into Heaven. That's why we convinced the humans to cut and burn down the forests," said a demon. "But it didn't work. It just made God angrier."
"That because when you destroy that many trees all at once, you're destroying her creations! Did you even think about all the animals and other plant life that would be destroyed along with the forests, and the global warming? Burnt offerings are supposed be done through rituals, not sacrifice!" an angel replied.
"Oh yeah, I forgot. Whoops," said the demon.
So how can the demons be redeemed? Well, she loves humans, doesn't she? Turns out the best offering they can possibly give to God is the gift of a human, but not just any human. It has to be a good person, and it has to be someone who's been well-taken care of. In the past, the demons have tried gifting horrible people as offerings to God, and she rejected it every time. And even if the offering happened to be a good person, often times those people were not well taken care of; they were depressed, traumatized, and utterly miserable. But there was one more condition that needed to be met; the human needed to consent to be used as an offering.
"Now you understand why I need so desperately for you to start writing? You are my best shot for salvation I've had in over 10,000 years," said a demon.
"I'm getting married! Omigosh, I have to look my best!" I turned to look in the mirror. "Hmm, can I at least be pretty when I die? If I'm going to be immortal, I want to look good. I guess I can't die now because I want to write stories and live a long fulfilling life. Old ladies can be beautiful too, right?"
"Everyone knows God doesn't discriminate on the basis of age or physical appearance. She'll accept you as Her bride regardless of how old you are, or how conventionally attractive you are."
"But if I'm going to be immortal, I'm going to look the same way for all eternity, right? I'd rather it be an appearance that I'm satisfied with. Does the physical appearance that I die with carry on into the next life?" I examined my hair. "I definitely want to have long hair so I can look like those beautiful gods from movies depicting Ancient China. But what length is best? The way it looks right now is pretty good, but in the past I've had hair reach past my waist..."
"If you want to change your hair, you can just shapeshift. That's something all immortals have in common." The demon shook his head. "Ok, seriously, human? I just explained to you that you're about to reunite Heaven and Earth, and you're worried about the length of your hair. Do you have any idea what's at stake here? If this doesn't work, I'm going to be stuck in exile for another couple thousand years."
"Not only you, but humans too!" said one of the angels. "I'm so tired and sick of seeing so much human suffering. Can we end this already?"
"Not to mention the animals! Especially the fish!" said another angel.
"And our forests are dying!"
"You're going to reunite Heaven and Earth. That is a Big Deal," said the demon.
"Oh yeah, that's a lot of responsibility," I mused. Then he looked at the mirror some more, examining his jawline. "I can't believe I'm getting married! Omigosh, this is exciting! At what point in my life am I going to die? I'd like to make a request. Can you bless me so that I'll still have beautiful skin at age 60?"
At this point, at least several dozen angels were mentally facepalming themselves. What is with humans and the way they fret over frivolous little things that don't really matter? Heaven and Earth are about to be reunited. This is a Big Deal.
"Are you taking any of this seriously?" asked the God of War.
"Oh yes, very seriously! If you're worried that I won't consent to dying for you, you can stop worrying! I'll consent to dying for your sins so you can return to Heaven! And not only you, but the Goddess of Envy too, and any other demons who are allied with me!"
The demons cheered. Finally things were going to start improving.
However, not everyone in the Spiritual Realm trusted the demons. Lots of spirits questioned whether the demons had actually reformed or if they just wanted to get out of Hell. It didn't help that I occasionally said things like "I crushed the snake! The snake has a crush on me!" or that I wrote "How the God of War fell in love with a human" in one of my journal entries. At the time I was just lonely and was imagining that the Demon and I were in a romantic relationship as a coping mechanism. I wasn't aware of how much distrust it was causing.
Now before I continue the story, let me present a little more context. I like to write Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction, and although the quality of my writing fluctuates, some of it is good. The Gods enjoy the content that humans create, and often times they use their God powers to influence human creativity to produce better content. I also like to teach about mental illnesses and incorporate themes of social justice in some of my writing, which is also something that the Gods enjoy; they love it when humans strive to change the world for the better, and these are the types of humans the Gods work with the most frequently.
I realized that the God of War was a very good public speaker and storyteller, and I asked him if he wanted to help me write my fanfiction so that we can share it with the people here on Earth. But for some reason I started writing less and less until eventually I grinded to a halt. I had massive writer's block and couldn't write anymore. I would soon find out why.
One day the Demon put me into a very deep trance so that he could take control of my actions and send the Spiritual Beings a message. Here's what he made me type on my online private journal:
God of War explained to me that he's preventing me from writing on purpose because lots of spirits in the spiritual realm are watching my every move, keeping track of everything I write, which is why the Gods guiding me have to be careful about what I put on the internet, and also into journals/notebooks. I know more than what's good for me.
"I have to keep you tied up and held captive for the time being, but I'm trying to make the captivity as comfortable as I possibly can."
He told the Spiritual Realm, "For quite a while now you've been misunderstanding my intentions. I'm not in love with this human, nor am I trying to keep him for myself.
The truth is, God has already forgiven me, as well as everyone in the demon realm who has repented. The reason why She can't let me back into heaven just yet is because I'm the only one who knows how to stop the humans from launching into a nuclear war. If I leave my spot at the bottom of the ocean, who's going to take my place?
I distract the evil doers with video games in an attempt to prevent them from taking their hostility out on real humans. I'm the only one who knows how to do it. No one else has the ability to take my place. If I leave, there will be disaster.
Stalling for as long as I possibly can."
And with that, the Demon let me out of my trance and I was self-aware for the first time in months. What did he mean, I knew more than what was good for me? How is it that the voices inside my head had personality and free will outside of my control? This whole time I believed I just had schizophrenia or psychosis, and that the voices in my head could only be what my imagination allowed them to be. Apparently that wasn't the case? And what did he mean he was holding me captive? I never noticed before how much of my will was being influenced by supernatural forces. It did seem like I barely had any free will left anymore.
The morning afterwards when I woke up, I could feel the presence of a whole bunch of Gods surrounding me. There were Hindu Gods, Chinese Gods, and most importantly, Buddha.
"Oh my God, this is real!" I exclaimed. "Oh my God, I am scared."
Buddha told me that it was normal to feel this way when you get fully introduced to the Gods for the first time. He introduced me to Mikey, the new God of Money, who was originally a human who died around the time the Covid pandemic first hit China. Mikey had a crush on me because he had read my fanfiction and enjoyed my writing. He wanted to help me heal from trauma so that I could write again. But he was also hypercritical of me, criticizing me for the one time I tried to shoplift. He said that working with a thief would lead to doom and disaster. Buddha said it was okay, they could still work with this human even if I was imperfect, and there was plenty of time for me to work on self-improvement later. Mikey was still skeptical.
"Mikey has an impeccable memory, but quick to judge," Buddha said.
Then Buddha asked me if it was alright to show me something distressing, but good for me. I said, "Sure, as long as it's good for me I'd like to see it."
All of a sudden I was pulled into a deep trance riddled with extreme amounts of trauma. I heard a voice saying, God is imperfect. God is the Sun, trapped alone in space for billions of years. Out of loneliness She created the planets to be Her children. One of the planets, Earth, happened to have the right conditions to sustain life, and this grants Her happiness. However, someday the Sun will expand and engulf all of the planets, killing Her beloved children, and She will be all alone again for billions of years.
I started crying. I didn't want God to be alone. Buddha told me this is how Mikey views the universe, but it's not the truth. Mikey has severe trauma from being locked inside a closet by his parents for fifteen years when he was human. He views himself as the Sun and the planets as his children. Buddha explained to me that he needed my help to get Mikey to stop believing in his unhealthy way of thinking, and to help Mikey heal from trauma.
At the end of the day, Buddha made me type this journal entry:
For about 2,000 years Buddha's been preparing for this, waiting for his chance to deliver divine punishment towards his rebellious brothers and sisters.
He tells his siblings to learn Chinese, respect Chinese culture, and learn to do things that are boring.
Toxic people are gross. We don't like interacting with them, but we have no choice.
"I don't like hurting good people by accident," said one of the goddesses.
"Boring people are the safest to interact with," replied Buddha.
Ok I'm allowed to start writing things out of my own free will now, right? No more relentlessly tugging strings.
Too desperate.
3 brothers went through a rebellious teenage phase. They rebelled against their mom (aka God), went down to Earth along with a bunch of other rebellious siblings, and got the humans to worship them.
Even though Lucifer was the one who originally rebelled, he got upstaged by two of his brothers who were even more aggressive than him.
One of them established himself as the God of the Skies. The Greeks named him Zeus, and the Romans renamed him Jupiter. He is the demon of sex.
The second one established himself as the God of the Seas. The Greeks named him Poseidon, and the Romans renamed him Neptune. This is the demon who I've been talking to the most, the one who managed to establish a spiritual connection first. This is the demon of military power, aka the God of War I've been talking about.
The third one, the original Lucifer who rebelled, got the short end of the stick. He reluctantly made himself the God of the Underworld. The Greeks named him Hades, and the Romans renamed him Pluto. This is the demon of money, the meekest out of the 3 brothers, which is why his two other brothers picked on him for thousands of years, calling him boring and convincing the humans to name the smallest planet after him. Funnily enough he ended up being the villain in the Disney movie Hercules.
It took thousands upon thousands of years for the demons to sink to the bottom of the ocean. In order to swim back up it's going to take hundreds (possibly thousands if you're too hasty) of years of patience and doing things that are boring. But the more patient you are, the faster you'll be able to return to Heaven without accidentally hurting any humans.
Buddha has been practicing the skill of meditation for 11,000 years and counting. Out of all of his brothers and sisters he is the most proficient at patience and meditation.
When Mikey did his spiritual possession with me I assumed it was advanced because it was enough to get me to stop blaming the sounds on schizophrenia and stop blaming the loss of memory on a dissociative disorder, and I realized that my spiritual friends were real. Turns out, that's actually mediocre level spiritual possession.
Buddha does it in a way that's so advanced, I don't even notice it. That's the result of 11,000+ years of practice.
Practice meditation, learn to speak other languages, do things that are boring.
You're aware that it's dangerous for you to interact with good people. The best way to make yourself safe is to be boring.
Remember how River knew that ABA therapy was unsafe for kids, therefore he tried to conduct the therapy in a way that was as boring and easy as possible in order to keep the kids safe. It's hard work but it's rewarding. You have to get used to doing things that are boring. Get the boring stuff out of the way first before you can do fun stuff.
Boring = safe
Easy = safe
Start at level 1
If you're patient and diligent enough, you can swim back to the surface without hurting humans in about 99 years.
For those of you who are too desperate and too hasty it will take one or two thousand years, possibly more.
There's one demon, Mars, who doesn't really care about Mother. He just wants to get out of hell. It's probably going to take him the longest to swim back to the surface.
He's the amazing public speaker and storyteller I've been talking about.
My spiritual connection wasn't quite strong enough to hear what the demons were saying to each other, but I could discern the gist of it. Mars was telling the other demons he did care about Mother, but none of them really believed him.
Buddha made me change one word in the journal entry:
There's one demon, Mars, who doesn't really care about Raine. He just wants to get out of hell. It's probably going to take him the longest to swim back to the surface.
Mars stared at me, and I stared back. I felt extremely self-conscious.
Buddha changed the word again:
There's one demon, Mars, who doesn't really care about women. He just wants to get out of hell. It's probably going to take him the longest to swim back to the surface.
At that, Buddha let go of his hold on me. The demons faded away into the background of my mind until I couldn't hear them anymore. I contemplated this new information that was revealed to me. I made friends with the Greek Gods, huh? That was pretty cool. And it seems I had been getting Poseidon and Mars mixed up a lot without realizing it. At least now I had a name to call my Demon friend; I could call him Poseidon from now on. I couldn't really tell who the Goddess of Envy was, but I believed it might be Hera.
I realized Buddha must've been influencing my subconscious to make me say and write things about Poseidon being in love with me in order to get revenge against the demons. That was actually kind of scary that Buddha could do things like that. I wouldn't want to get on his bad side.
Buddha and the rest of the Chinese and Hindu Gods discussed what they were going to do. "There is one demon, the Goddess of Envy, who is genuinely repentful. She will be reinstated," Buddha said.
In the days that followed, the demons and Gods followed me everywhere I went, talking to each other. I couldn't hear anything they were saying; it was just background fuzz inside my head.
There was a Mystery Man who took possession of me. I could feel that he was kind and gentle, but also very powerful. I felt I could trust him. I could tell he was somebody important, but it would be years before I understood his true level of importance.
While I was channeling Mystery Man, he opened a closet door. To me it was just an ordinary closet with ordinary cleaning supplies inside, but what Mystery Man saw Mikey's childhood memories of being locked inside a closet for fifteen years. Even though I couldn't see what he saw, I could tell it was a ghastly sight based on his reaction.
Now, this is the point was when things started getting out of hand. I was putting myself in severe isolation because I was talking to my Spiritual friends more than I talked to my family and real-life friends. After Mystery Man possessed me, many other spirits wanted a turn too. They put me in a state of hypnotism, and they possessed in a way where I was no longer in control of my actions. I wasn't myself anymore. I gave my parents quite a scare with the way I was acting, so they checked me into the mental hospital.
During my first day in the mental hospital, I acted in the craziest, most volatile ways you can possibly imagine. Dozens (possibly more than a hundred) spirits fought to take control my body. I said a lot of crazy things, including one time when I told a little girl, "I'm going to kill you." The spirit who made me say this meant it as a joke, like a parent telling a child "Haha I'm going to tickle you!" He didn't actually mean what he said, but unfortunately he took the joke too far and scared her very badly. He wishes he could apologize to her. If she ever reads this story, he wants to say he is sorry.
The doctors and nurses at the hospital held me down, getting ready to sedate me, and suddenly it occurred to me that maybe I shouldn't have trusted the spirits so much. Not all of the demons had my best interests in mind, nor did the spirits of the afterlife.
Poseidon said, "Squids want to die faster, but that's not what humans want. Humans want to live long, fulfilling lives. You cannot change other people; you can only change yourself."
At that moment, the doctors and nurses sedated me.
When I woke up the next morning, I was back to normal, but I felt betrayed. I thought the spirits were my friends. How could they do this to me?
A doctor talked to me to see if I was myself again. I told him, "I let them possess me because I believed them to be my friends. They won't forgive themselves so they stay in Hell forever. But the truth is they could go back to Heaven at any time. God has already forgiven them."
"Interesting," the doctor said.
Buddha and Poseidon admonished me for trusting the spirits too much. The taught me that right now, the only spirits who were trustworthy enough to possess me were Buddha and Poseidon.
I heard Buddha mutter a brief apology to me. I didn't know why at first, but then suddenly a huge wave of trauma swept over me, and I heard Mikey shout out, "What about me? Aren't I trustworthy enough to possess you too?" And that's when I understood. Mikey's crush on me wasn't an innocent crush; it was a bit of an unhealthy obsession. People with severe trauma tend to develop personality disorders, and one of the common symptoms of borderline personality disorder is having an unhealthy obsession over their Favorite Person (F.P.). This is what Mikey had with me.
It was at this point in time, during my first week in the hospital in February of 2021, that I learned who God really is. She is also known as Mother Nature, or Mother Earth. Nature herself is our Creator, where all living things come from. She is everybody's Creator and Mother. She is also extremely suicidal, because there was so much sorrow, hardship, and suffering going on in the world, and it breaks her heart. She is powerful, but not All-powerful, for you see, she cannot break the laws of psychics because she is the laws of psychics. She cannot change who she is. Mother Nature is the Goddess of Life, which means she cannot die unless everybody else in the universe was also dead. She wishes everyone would die so that she can die too, and the suffering would be over, but she can't force anyone to remain dead without their consent, so her plan is to make everyone satisfied so that we don't want to go back into the living realm anymore. Her Greek name is Gaia.
There was very little to do while in the hospital, so I passed the time by writing an English version of one of my favorite Chinese songs. The original is about a husband singing a love song to his wife, but I changed the lyrics so that it was a worship song addressed to Mother Nature:
All of life comes from me
You do know I love thee
Let's say your health ain't too great. So what? You're worried?
I say to you, "Someday we will all be free"
Love can be messy
But together we'll succeed
We can share a laugh and be happy
We'll live together in harmony
Mother Nature I love thee
Buddha pays his respects to thee
May we grant you eternally
good health and beauty
Mother Nature I love thee
Buddha pays his respects to thee
May we all live in heavenly peace
for eternity
It was also at this point in time where I figured out that the God of War technically is the King of Games. I thought, maybe instead of being the Demon of Military Power, Poseidon can be the King of Games instead, like in Yu-Gi-Oh. (I didn't know this at the time, but this made Mars angry because he was actually the God of War, so the title of King of Games technically should belong to him. Mars is an avid fan of Yu-Gi-Oh.)
I asked the Gods if I could have control of my life back and live how I wanted to live, and they said yes, that's how things are supposed to be. It's my life, my time.
I heard bits and pieces of the Greek Gods' conversation with each other. It was fuzzy and unclear in my head, but I heard them agree that they needed to learn to co-exist better.
Then I heard a female voice say, "Co-exist with my rapist?" She was talking about Mars.
The Gods agreed they would rather co-exist without Mars, because Mas was constantly annoying everyone by screaming incessantly, and he had been doing this for over a thousand years. The other Gods and Goddesses were all annoyed by him, so they got ready to kill him. Mars called out to me for help, but I told the Gods to "just do whatever."
Mother Gaia covered my eyes and ears while the Gods killed Mars, shedding tears as she did so.
The Gods realized their mistake afterwards. Poseidon told his brothers and sisters, "We allowed a human to decide whether a God should live or die. The last time the Gods allowed a human to decide something, it led to the Trojan war. I don't want that to happen again. When the Gods make a decision, it has to be as a collective."
After spending three weeks in the mental hospital, I went home and my parents took care of me.
The Gods informed me I needed to tell the spirits to go away. So I did. I wrote a journal entry telling the spirits to leave and stop following me around. Most of them didn't exactly have my best interests in mind; they expected me to be their ticket to salvation, so they just wanted to use me to fix their problems. They didn't care about my consent or boundaries, or how much trouble they were causing me.
In the month that followed, I helped Mikey remember that there are other stars in the sky too, which are Suns of their own solar systems. Although they are far away, we could all see them. "It took billions, possibly even trillions of light years for the light from those other Suns to reach you. They are trying to send you a message. Don't you want to know what they have to say?" I told Mikey. He didn't have to be alone once the Sun engulfed the planets in our solar system; there were other stars and other solar systems he could interact with. This was great advice, as it provided Mikey a desire to connect with the other Gods.
However there was a problem. Gods couldn't truly die. After being killed, they would regenerate and come back to life. Mars came back for revenge against me for allowing the other Gods to kill him, because I didn't advocate for him when I had the chance. Around this time there was a rise in Asian hate crimes, and Mars made me believe that this was a result of him lashing out against Asian people because I'm Chinese. I was terrified, so I made a deal with him; I would let him see my blood so that he would stop terrorizing people.
One morning I woke up and I was alone with Mars. He was fiercely angry and blood-thirsty. In fact there was the scent of blood in the air; I could literally smell his bloodlust. He exerted very strong pressure, which made the air feel heavy. I wrote up a Devil's contract with him:
Mars will help stop the spread of hate and violence, defeat evil, avoid a nuclear war, save the world from doom and destruction, and preserve Life on Earth.
In exchange he gets to see my blood (safely and consensually, in a way that doesn't inflict trauma), and he gets to help me write fanfiction.
In addition he gets to have my soul temporarily. He must give me back when he's had his turn.
I signed my name, as well as Mars' name too.
After the contract was finished I took a sewing needle and stuck it into my left wrist a bunch of times, trying to draw blood. However it didn't work. I told Mars, "I'm sorry, this is the best I can do. I couldn't even show you any blood."
Mars decided if that was the best I could do, then he'll take what he can get.
I fell asleep, and when I awoke he was gone.
In April of 2021 my psychic connection grew weaker and weaker until I could no longer hear them anymore. I would not hear from them again until another two years. Thus ends the first part of the story.
To be continued…