Ai felt the weight of her heart sink to the pit of her stomach as she looked straight into the eyes of her student and friend. The girl with the face of a goddess tried to open her mouth and speak but nothing would come to her. The thought kept repeating itself in her head: Taki is a princess from a Kingdom that has no business with Suna, there is only one reason she could be there. A cold breeze fluttered in on morning sunshine which was lighting up the room, it chilled Ai to the bone.
From the doorway, Taki blinked uncomprehendingly. She held a bow in her hand, a wooden quiver, engraved with her kingdom's crest, slung over her shoulder, keeping safe her arrows. Unaware and innocent to the tears forming in her teacher's eyes, Taki looked from Ai to Gaara. The Kazekage stood behind Ai, his hair an untidy mop of red waves, his skin glowing as though he had spent time in the sun, even the buttons of his shirt were done up in a rough, half-focussed manner with the red material bunching up beside the button. Taki gulped, wondering what this strange feeling was that seemed to tingle at her fingertips.
"Ai used to work here at the palace," Gaara informed Taki who noticed Ai drop her gaze to the floor as he spoke, "wait for me at breakfast, Taki." Hearing Gaara's commanding and serious voice did not put the princess at ease; she shifted uncomfortably before nodding and shutting the door to let Ai and Gaara speak in private. The dancer stood with her back to him, wrapped up in her dark shawl, her brow furrowed. Barely breathing, wondering if she were even existent in the room, she found herself unable to speak, unable to turn to him. They stood in silence. Birdsong drifted in through the open window, they could hear the gushing of water from a fountain in the palace gardens.
"Your council has asked you to marry." As she spoke, hearing it aloud, made her voice break. Moving forwards, the young Kazekage reached out a hand and put it on her shoulder.
"Ai-" he faltered as Ai shrugged him off her shoulder; she had never been so cold with him before. As her back was still to him, Gaara walked around and ached a little inside when he saw her face. Tears streamed relentlessly from her eyes, her bottom lip trembled. Gently, Gaara took her face in his hands and brought her head up to look at him. He smiled at her softly, sincerely.
"My heart forever belongs to you. My soul is kept safe by only your hands," he whispered to her. "My council has asked me to meet with," he search for the right word, "suitable girls that I could possibly have a future with." Gaara let go of her beautiful face and wiped her tears dry with the end of her veil. "I have gone to bed with no one," he assured his love, "and I do not plan to marry for a long time; these meetings are merely events of diplomatic significance. You will always remain as the-" Gaara stopped short, shocked, as Ai began to smile. He took a step away from her as she shook her head with a sick, almost disbelieving smirk.
"Do you really think I take issue with you marrying, Kazekage?" Ai asked scathingly. "You are a Kage, a man of power. One with a dishonourable past. I know what your council wants from you; restore the honour lost, bring peace to our village and a neighbouring kingdom. You will be married within a year or two." Gaara was about to retaliate, tell her he was not planning on such a thing but Ai would not let him speak. "And you have not slept with any of them?"Gaara nodded eagerly, unsure of why Ai spoke with such malice. "That is not the point."
"Is it because I did not tell Taki who you are? It was to protect your identity!" Ai shut her eyes tightly, hot tears escaping from under her eyelashes. Gaara stood, a panic was rising inside of him, desperate to correct whatever had gone wrong but feeling entirely lost as to what the problem was.
"That is not the point." She repeated
"Then what is!?" Gaara cried, desperate to know.
"The point is that you seduced me, the girl you are so desperately in love with, knowing that we cannot be together. Knowing that tomorrow you may meet with your future wife. Whilst I am left, discarded, thrown out!" She yelled.
"Ai-"
"You treated me like no more than a whore!" Ai spat at him but Gaara could not understand it; he thought he had done the right thing! She was everything, there was no one else! It was the world that was cheated, not her!
"I am in love with you!" He reminded her but Ai simply laughed at the injustice.
"Love does not cause you to treat someone with such disrespect," she said. "You used me last night-"
"Please don't do this," the Kazekage begged her, unable to bear the thought of losing her like this.
"In the end, you are the only person who valued me less than a courtesan." The insult of her comment made a fire flicker inside of Gaara.
"And the prince did not?"
"No," Ai retaliated, "he told me my place from the beginning, he told me I was his courtesan and treated me accordingly. You made me give up my heart, resign myself to a life I never asked for in order to protect you. You took advantage of my love for you by seducing me, playing into my feelings, knowing you are being found a wife!" Ai went for the door but Gaara was quicker, as she walked past him he moved a hand to cause sand to erupt from his gourd and follow her.
The sand shot over to the girl but, unexplainably, she turned suddenly and the sand cloud came to a halt. The Kazekage jolted in surprise and willed the sand to move but it would not obey. It glittered, motionless, around the girl as her blue eyes narrowed on him, a look of fury on her face, her skin almost glowing. "No longer will I spend nights lost in thoughts of you, Gaara. I swear, I will never dream of you again."
"I'm warning you, Ai," Gaara began coldly, his eyes narrowing on her with that dark, controlling look he had mastered. What was he doing? What was he saying? Gaara was desperate, angry, terrified to be without her. He just wanted to understand, the young Kazekage could not see what he had done wrong. But he, who had been lost without love for so long, found that he could not articulate his worries in this moment. The thought of her leaving him was overbearing, he could not be with out her and so Gaara, in the only way he understood, attempted to reconcile by coercion. His violent and primal nature took over, the only thing he was thinking was of ways to get her to physically stay in the room. If she just listened to him for a moment she would understand but Ai refused to give him a chance!
The dancer knew very well part of his naivety fed into his anger but she could not continue to care for it. Her heart was shattered into too many pieces for Ai to continue to pick them up. She was tired; she had given up everything for him and in the end he treated her like no more than a common whore. A single tear ran down her cheek. "You said it yourself: enemies from lovers." She reminded him.
"I am not your enemy, Ai." Gaara breathed, his hand still raised, his will still trying to push the sand around her.
"What do you call the one who humiliates you? Uses you? Tortures you?" She asked him but the Kazekage merely shook his head.
"This is the curse of blood-love!"
"Blood-love?" Ai laughed, "if only it were so easy to blame our shortcomings on some prophecy! This red, defected, flawed, remorseful, enmity of love! Whatever you wish to call it!" The fire inside of her trailed away. She looked over to Gaara, a mixture of anger and grief struck across his face. They were so similar; both orphans, both with terrible tempers, both trying to figure out their place in the world. "We deserve more, don't we?" Ai asked softly and turned away again to face the door. As she did, she caught sight of the glass lantern she had lit for him, still burning away on the mantlepiece. She put a hand on the doorknob and took a breath.
"Leave this room and this is the last time we speak." She heard him say clearly but Ai shook her head.
"The flame I lit for you now sets fire to both our worlds," and with that, she left his room.
Outside, Taki was standing against the wall opposite, in a dress the colour of healthy, green grass. It made her grey eyes sparkle as they looked over, worried, as her teacher left the Kazekage's bedroom hurriedly. Ai stopped to look at her, unsure of what to say, aware that her broken heart was obvious to anyone who looked at her. To Ai's surprise, it was the princess who broke the nervous silence.
"In It is in the sweet night breezes I hear her voice, in the unfurling of rosebuds I see her face," Taki recited perfectly, earning a confused look from Ai. "For what else is there but the girl from Suna?" Ai lowered her gaze as Taki changed this line in the poem; so the princess had figured it out. "It's you, isn't it?" The princess mumbled bashfully, colour, without her consent, rising to her cheeks. "You're the one the Kazekage fell in love with?" She asked sweetly and Ai, with a small smile of regret, shook her head and walked towards the innocent princess.
"No. I was the girl foolish enough to believe it." Ai leant down, her crystal blue eyes locking on to Taki's, her face suddenly serious, "I can no longer tutor you, princess. If I were to give one last lesson, I would make it this: fools are those who love in vain, but greater are the fools who love to the destruction of themselves." The courtesan kissed her student's forehead and walked away.
On the walk to her carriage, Ai held her head high as many ran out of their rooms to catch a glimpse of a dark and thundering moon as she glided through the palace. Whispers, shouts of her name, proclamations of worship came her way as the divided Suna cheered for the return of Love, or called for her demise. Guards even ran up to her, under orders that upon seeing her in the village she should be arrested. But at her angered glance they stopped as if paralysed. Ai scoffed at all of it; Suna had no idea of the goings on behind closed doors. They did not know the heart break, the heart ache, the love, the loss, the pain of being in love with Gaara. Ai was alone with it all, stuck in a life she did not choose, all for the one they worshipped. As she was about to exit the palace through the main doors, someone called her name.
"Ai!" Turning to the corridor, Ai felt her heart skip a beat as Temari approached her quickly, looking worried.
"Temari-sama," Ai spoke softly and embraced her.
"What are you doing here?" The blonde shinobi asked as they broke apart. But Ai did not answer her, she watched as Kankuro walked uneasily towards her. He took in the sight of Ai's tear-stained face and gulped.
"What happened?" But Ai could not find the heart to speak; she had no idea how to address the Kazekage's family any more. She did not know her place in the world.
"I'm sorry," she breathed before turning on her heel and running from the palace. They watched her go, wrapped up in dark clouds of silk, her gold jewellery shimmering in the morning light.
***
Jiraiya stood from his seat in a comfortable drawing room in Koto, as he saw Ai's carriage pull up outside the House. But there was something in the rainclouds that followed her from Suna, that made his smile fade. He felt Ruby stand beside him and look out of the window with equal apprehension. Both watched as Ai emerged from the carriage, an hour later than expected, her veil no longer on her head but wrapped around her. Her dark, shimmering waves of hair had lost their shape and lustre. Her sweet face not illuminated with the usual glow, her red lips merely stained as though someone had wiped lipstick from them. Jiraiya knew what this all meant, he had seen betrayal before. He had even been a known perpetrator in his youth.
Ai entered Koto and spoke a word to no one, she walked swiftly through the House, ignoring the calls from her friends, barely noticing the stares she received. Her breathing became quicker, she felt her heart falling to pieces, she could not bear to feel this way and before she knew it she had picked up her feet and was running to her room.
"Ai!" She heard Ruby shout her name from somewhere inside the House but paid her no heed. Her feet were pounding hard against the stone floor, her veil had unwrapped itself from around her and was dragging on the floor. The weight of the gold thread was threatening to pull her back down to reality but the blue eyed beauty refused to go there, refused to face the life she had been settled with. So she threw off her veil as she pushed open the door to her room.
"Renai, wait!" She heard her teacher's voice, commanding, alarmed, could behind her as she shut and locked the door on him. She turned to see the outline of Jiraiya and Ruby's figures as they approached her room, through the misted glass of the door. Their voices were distant, mere echoes to Ai who could only hear her own breathing, could only hear the tinkle of her jewellery as she walked away from the door, shaking her head. Every time she thought of Gaara she winced with regret; the pain of parting with him was unbearable, the hurt of how he had made her feel was too much. "Ai, open the door." Of course, Jiraiya could break down the door easily, Ai knew she could not waste time.
Running to her cupboard, Ai opened it and began to rummage through her belongings for the shroud that Megumi had given her when she left the palace. She looked for a grey, funeral shroud-like veil that she had first worn to Koto. Wrapped inside was the shard of a broken diamond. She found it nestled at the back of her cupboard, forgotten and cold. As the girl dragged it out along her shelf, a packet fell to the ground by her feet. Peering down at it for less than a second, Ai saw the anklets her father left for her but she could barely make them out; her view was foggy, eyes red and painful as she walked from her cupboard to a sink in her room. Pouring herself a glass of water, Ai unraveled the diamond from the shroud and took it in her hand.
Glittering in her palm, the diamond shone as if to speak to her. Amidst the sound of the pitter patter of rain outside, the banging on her door of Jiraiya and Ruby, Ai looked clearly at the shard in her hand. The hardest substance known to man, swallowing this tiny rock would cut through her. How else would the pain leave her? How else could she remain without him? Looking up into the mirror she caught a glimpse of her face. Puffy and exhausted, her crystal eyes shone bright in the grey light of the room. Is this the life Renai wanted? Is this the true curse of blood-love? She had become misery because of it. Looking at her reflection she pitied herself; her skin grey and dull, her lips dry, mouth thirsting for the water. She could end her suffering now if she wanted to.
"Ai please!" She jumped as she heard Jiraiya call for her again. Looking to the door quickly she realised she did not have much time. She brought the diamond up to her lips and closed her eyes. A hot, round tear rolled down her cheek as she parted her lips.
And stopped. Ai opened her eyes. She could hear, yet again, that harp-like instrument playing a familiar tune amidst the the sound of the raindrops against the glass of her balcony doors. Turning to them, Ai put down the diamond and water before pushing against the glass to open the doors. The rain was light, but enough to make her blink against the raindrops. She felt the water cooling her skin and took a breath of the dewy air as though it might clear her head.
She could hear the instrument from the gardens below and ran to the edge of the balcony. There, amidst the green grass, sat the boy with grey hair, idly strumming his harp. She looked around for some way to get down to him and cursed that there were no stairs. But the boy was likely to leave soon, he never stayed in one place it seemed. Ai was beginning to question if he was real, to question her own sanity. Without even consciously making a decision, Ai hoisted herself over the balcony and began to climb down into the gardens. It was laborious and exhausting work, getting her footing right, holding up her own strength, trying not to step on her skirt. Eventually she was able to jump down onto the sparkling grass.
The boy sat, apparently undisturbed by the rain, playing his instrument. He was at least ten feet from Ai and there was an odd manner he had, his lack of acknowledgment of her, that made the girl keep her distance.
"You!" Ai called out, taking tentative steps towards him. He immediately stopped playing and looked up at her, a mischievous glint in his eye. The look was unnerving, Ai felt as though he could see straight through her. "How do you know these words?" She asked him and jumped as he raised a hand to point at something above and behind her. "Ah!" Ai gasped as, inexplicably, the boy began to fade. His figure turned a blueish, greenish hue as he smiled at her and faded away as though from a dream. Ai turned around to see what he had been pointing to.
She took a step back. There, atop the roof of Koto stood a man. Menacing and powerful, he stood eerily quiet, watching her. A black cloak with red clouds billowing in the rainy winds. Dark, long hair tied up at the base of his neck. His eyes were red and menacing. Ai would even call them evil. She recognised them instantly and attempted to look away but it was too late. The girl was taken over by the power of the Sharingan.