"Have you seen the Kazekage?" The older sister to the Kazekage was growing weary of what was becoming her weekly task; it seemed her youngest brother had taken a liking to playing hide-and-seek with palace officials. The blonde kunoichi walked into the gardens and addressed a group of gardeners. Holding onto their sun hats, faces red with fatigue, fingernails black with earth, the men and women all looked around at each other and shook their heads.
"No, Temari-sama," they recited in unison. Temari tried to not let her brow furrow or her lip twitch in a nervous frustration; she had been looking for twenty minutes and there were no signs of Gaara anywhere! Walking back into the shade of the palace, the woman entered the library. Staff and students looked up when she entered as loudly as possible in a bid to catch their attention. From the dark wooden desks and bookshelves, they peered over to her anxiously.
"Have you seen the Kazekage?" Temari asked the room at large.
"No, Temari-sama," came the expected reply. Leaving the library, Temari could think of no other place Gaara would venture…unless he had gone to the kitchens? Why on Earth would he do that? While she was pondering over her brother's whereabouts, her other brother, the middle sibling, approached her. Temari, hands on hips, utterly fed-up with Gaara's antics, waited for Kankuro to reach her before she asked:
"Have you seen-!?"
"Have you seen-!?" Both were cut short as they asked each other the same question. Kankuro, usually so calm and patient, had his face painted; the purple line around his lips seemed grey and flat as he stared at his sister with discontent. "Where has he gone to now!?" The puppet master exclaimed only to have Temari sigh in exasperation.
"The Kazekage?" Both sand siblings looked over as a student of Gaara's, Sari, spoke as she was about to enter the library. Temari nodded at her. "He's in the palace temple; I saw him walking to it around ten minutes ago," the girl answered hurriedly as she noted the frustrated air around the Kazekage's brother and sister. Once the sand sibling's heard their answer, they turned on their heels and walked swiftly towards the temple. Neither said it, but both thought it: of all the places Gaara could be, they never would have thought it would be the temple.
***
Months ago, this palace temple had been brimming with life. Like a lake at dusk; you could never see what was stirring beneath the water but you could feel its presence. If you concentrated you could sense the vibrations in the cool, cold waters and see the ripples on the surface caused by what slept in the deep. At least, this is how Gaara felt about the palace temple when the women of the Tea House had been staying at the palace.
Before he met Ai, the Kazekage was familiar with both the temple and the Tea House as places other people went to. It was odd to him that these places, made for such opposing purposes, could leave him with the same impression; the temple and the Tea House were strange, guilt-inducing paces where he felt like he did not belong. He would pass the Tea House when leaving Suna and from his carriage would feel the whole building moving, as though it were breathing; he could hear and feel signs of life from within those glass walls. When he had first entered there, he felt utterly at odds with the place; he was not the kind of man to sit in dark corners, drinking with women vying for his attention and watching revelry unfold.
And the temple, once a place he never ventured to, was in between his living quarters and his office so he would pass it often. He only ever entered the temple on his birthday when the rituals for the anniversary of his mother's death were underway and even then he had only been attending those ceremonies for the last couple of years. He had never had the courage, nor the strength of heart, to face Temari as she wept for a mother he did not know. Gaara did not understand the wince in Kankuro's face or the way the puppet master would put his arm around their sister. No, the palace temple was not a place for Gaara.
When the women of the Tea House arrived, however, there was always golden light seeping up into the sky from the windows, the fragrance of dessert flowers would waft out from under the door and the sound of singing could be heard throughout the palace day and night. Gaara had felt a source of comfort when the temple was so lively; he and his siblings would sit in on prayers more often, Temari even requested specific prayers to be carried out on behalf of the family. Kankuro would sit contemplatively, averting his eyes from the women of the Tea House for fear of Temari's disapproving look and their youngest brother would sit quietly at the back and refuse the invitation from Megumi to sit at the head of the prayers with her or the priest. On the odd occasion when the public or royal guests were visiting the palace and joined the household's prayers, the Kazekage would sit at the front of the prayer ceremony as was custom and feel entirely lost.
Even when Ai had been living with him at the palace, he did not sit with her. The two maintained an almost diplomatic public relationship; Ai addressed him by his title, would only sit beside him when Temari instructed her to, would barely look at him in a prayer ceremony. Because when she did look at him, it would be far too distracting, make him clumsy, make her forget the words to her prayers. Ai was well behaved in front of others and took on the role of unofficial partner to the Kazekage with ease. The courtesan was raised to be in the company of royalty so she possessed the sahō (manners, etiquette) and josei-sei (femininity) that was expected of the Kazekage's wife.
But to Gaara, sahō was easily forgotten behind closed doors and josei-sei was either a ruse or breakable. It was always fun to see Ai forced onto her knees before him, to see her drop the courtesan and diplomatic tones for more seductive, flirtatious notes. There was one such incident that would often play on the Kazekage's mind. A few months ago, he had come looking for Ai and spied the dancer by herself in front of Raijin's shrine.
"What is it you're praying for, beautiful one?" Gaara asked softly and smiled as Ai jumped in surprise.
"Ah!" The girl, sat in gold, lifted her head and put on a voice of fake-surprise. "Who speaks?"
"The one you worship," the Kazekage said cooly, earning a small smirk from his first love. "What is it you are praying for, Ai?" The girl sighed as though beside herself with grief.
"I pray for the Kazekage," she said in a forlorn voice before picking up a tray of rose petals and showering the statue and other deities with them. "I pray that he is severely punished for all his shamelessness," Ai said wickedly.
"Shamelessness?" As Gaara spoke, Ai turned to him and threw the remaining rose petals up in the air to shower them both. With a mischievous smile she approached him.
"He spies on women during morning prayers! Leaves his councilmen at lunch for idle talks with a courtesan. Abandons post to go for rooftop tea in the afternoon," Ai tutted before her smirk left her to be replaced with a familiar glint in her eye. "Tortures me in the nighttime," she whispered, watching Gaara smirk and avert his eyes. Ai walked up to the Kazekage and spoke in the old language: "Loves me, shamelessly, always."
"Speak in a suitable dialect-"
"No." The pair smiled at one another; both were always so keen to upset the other because it was always so much fun to make it up to each other. "Why are you out of your office?" Ai asked seriously.
"I came to find you," Gaara informed her as the girl in gold turned away and began to tidy the room for the next group of worshippers to come in.
"Do you require my assistance on village matters, Kazekage?" The girl asked in her sing-song voice although the tone of boredom did not go unnoticed by the Kazekage. He watched her keenly.
"Yes."
"Well, I do not wish to speak on such topics."
"Why?" Ai turned to him and watched him fold his arms. She inwardly groaned; Gaara only ever folded his arms when he was politely annoyed.
"They bore me," Ai said with an adorable smile. Realising her smile was not working on him, she approached the red headed man and put her hands on either side of his face. She was glittering in the midday sun, smelling like jasmine that was placed around the temple, her lips were shimmering in a rose-toned colour but still, Gaara did not unfold his arms. "Speak to me about beautiful things, Gaara," she pleaded only to have the Kazekage looked down at her with a bored expression.
"Beautiful things?"
"Things that stir the soul, things that speak without mouths!" Ai exclaimed, "poetry and literature." Gaara was as stubborn as she was; he did not say a word. "Did you finish The Sky and the Moon?" The girl said happily, letting her hands fall from his face and walking to the door of the temple. "The poems from the moon are a thing of magic, are they not-?"
"Ai," the girl stopped short of the temple door and shuddered; whenever Gaara spoke her name in this voice, the 'Kazeakge' tone, it had a power over her as though she were a child about to get into trouble. She turned to him slowly, looking bashful. "You are avoiding important talks," the Kazekage, arms firmly folded, addressed her, "it worries me."
"Why should it worry you?" Ai tried to be as nonchalant as possible but Gaara was not in the mood to give in.
"Because you are supposed to be my partner," he scolded her. "You are supposed to advise me," but Ai was equally fiery in temper and did not take kindly to being told what to do.
"According to who?" The girl protested.
"Tradition."
"You have councilmen and teachers, even intelligent students from all over the country to guide you-"
"But none do so out of love," as Gaara spoke, Ai smiled to herself and said in a quiet voice:
"Well, I would question the motives of some of your students-"
"Ai." Again, that horrible Kazekage-voice! Ai huffed and folded her arms, looking away from him in frustration. Gaara saw on her face some anguish, some hidden frustration. He had been learning from his sister to pick up on these cues faster and more often; Gaara would sometimes miss important moments with others because he could not tell when they were after something but were not verbalising it. In a way, he was glad Ai was melodramatic, it led for a much easier exercise in understanding body language. Gaara softened his gaze, unfolded his arms and walked up to her. 'What's the matter, uta (poem)?" He asked kindly, putting his hands on her waist.
"You are pushing the role of the Kazekage's partner onto me," Ai said quietly.
"You do not wish to have that role?"
"Of course I do," Ai said, unfolding her arms and soothing down the fabric of Gaara's jacket, leaving her hands to rest on his chest. "But no one has formally accepted our union. No one gives my presence any importance, no one expects me to have a voice from beside you. I am not expected to attend dinners or have an opinion on village matters at all!" Gaara nodded; he certainly understood where Ai was coming from but would have though she was prepared for this.
"Courtesans often advise and are in the presence rulers," the man reminded her, pulling her into embrace.
"Not in such open air, not where we are vulnerable to attack." Whenever Ai and Gaara stood close to one another in embrace, it was easy to see that they were devoted to one another entirely. The way she would brush the fabric of his jacket with her fingertips implied a great affection and desire to care for him. The way he would look down at her and, with his gaze, beg her to look up at him, implied that he had eyes for no one else. The love between them was undeniable to all who saw them together. But even Gaara had to admit, there was a group of elders who were still not ready to accept Ai into the Palace.
"I will protect you," Gaara reassured her.
"I know you are a wise and fair man," Ai said softly, "I know you are trying to get the higher-ups to accept me. You are trying to involve me and that is truly," she searched for the right word, "kind of you. But no one is ready to accept me in this palace," the girl breathed.
"Ai." There are many ways in which Gaara said her name and each way indicated how he was feeling, what he wanted, how he should respond. In that moment of the dancer being completely vulnerable, Gaara wanted to love her and show her she was loved. It was the same way he said her name before they would go to bed together, the same way he would say it when she was upset and needed him. Slowly, she let her gaze travel up to meet his. Their eyes softened, their grip on each other increased just a little as Gaara leant in to her-
"Oh!" Ai and Gaara bumped heads as someone opened the door to the temple, "I'm so sorry, Kazekage-sama!" A priest exclaimed in surprise and shut the door immediately. Gaara expected Ai to laugh but he looked down at her to find the girl was frowning.
"See?" She said softly, almost to herself, "didn't even look at me! And he excused himself because he thinks…" Her voice trailed away and she pushed herself out of Gaara's grip.
"What?"
"He thinks we are sharing an intimate moment- because that is all I am made for!" Ai grimaced, "the world doesn't see me as anything other than a whore." The young Kazekage could not stand to hear Ai talk about herself that way; he had suffered for years believing everyone who told him he was a monster, he was not going to let the woman he loved feel the same way.
"Suna looked to you during my absence," Gaara said seriously, "you may not be the symbol of a firm hand at the head of this palace, but you are a symbol of hope for the entire village. Regardless of what the higher-ups say, you have one the hearts of the civilians and that counts. We just need time…"
But, of course, the two young lovers were denied that by the elder Endo Yori. He had sealed up Ai's fate by twisting words and events to suit his own story of the girl. In the end, Gaara could never have been sure if the higher-ups would have warmed to Ai or if their union would have been contested. Was he being too young? Too naive? Should he have out his foot down? Back then, he was too new to being Kazekage to truly understand his role; he was constantly looking to others for advise and following, sometimes, blindly. Everything he did, he did for his people. All he wanted was to be the sort of Kazekage this village needed.
Now he was stood in that same temple room he and Ai were stood in all those months ago. The candles were unlit. no incense was burning, no smell of flowers clung to the air. The temple felt like the ruins of an old stone palace. Everything was antique, here since the founders of the village built the palace. Everything except for one item. Something was new, it is what captured Gaara's attention and drawn him in to the temple in the first place.
He was stood a foot away from a statue. One carved out of the famous red clay of Suna. It was the bust of a goddess. He had been staring at it for some time now in the darkness, watching the way her lips were curved and pouting, the way her hair fell in familiar ringlets.
The door to the temple room opened and the Kazekage heard two people enter behind him.
"This wasn't here yesterday," Gaara said softly without turning to face his siblings, "why is she here?
"Who is it?" Kankuro said, squinting past Gaara to see the statue. He caught Temari's disapproving eye and shrugged, "what?" Kankuro asked with a smile, "there are so many deities, I can't keep count of all-"
"It's Renai." Kankuro and Temari looked over in surprise as their brother spoke. Gaara was not generally considered to be a very spiritual or religious man; it shocked both his siblings that he knew this goddess.
"She is a gift from Taki's parents," Temari explained, folding her arms. eyeing up the beautiful statue. She knew why the three of them stood their quietly for it was all she could think about as she took in those big eyes, the waves of hair. Gaara spoke their thoughts suddenly:
"She looks-"
"No, she doesn't," Temari cut him off but Kankuro did not understand his sister's intention. The puppet master, his painted face screwed up as though inspecting the statue with great care, nodded:
"Yes, she does," he said seriously. "It's uncanny. Is this some kind of sick joke-?"
"No," Gaara confirmed, "Renai really does look like Ai." Temari stirred behind him.
"How would you know, Gaara?"
"Because I have met her."
"Where?"
"At the gates of heaven," the Kazekage's voice faltered as he held out his hand and put it against the statues face. He took a breath as a spark seemed to pass between him and the stone, "I was beginning to forget what Ai looked like," he whispered. "Wait," he suddenly turned around to face his siblings who jumped at his action, "you sad this was a gift. A gift for what?" Temari tried to force a smile.
"Taki's family have sent a proposal. "
"Oh." Gaara turned back to Renai, "I see."
"What should we do?" Kankuro asked. Gaara was grateful for this question. For Kankuro to ask such a serious question was unusual and it demonstrated to Gaara that he was in no way alone. Usually Temari dealt with this odd political matters but for all three of them to be stood, wondering the same thing, was a great comfort to the trouble-ridden Kazekage.
"Suna was in the dark for so long," Gaara mused, "we were lost to the shinobi world, our reputation marred in father's ill-fated plans for control and power. Suna deserves better. The people of this village deserve a leader who will guide them through the darkness, a stable and noble family to act as head of the village." Temari smiled in relief; so the strange and unfamiliar sphere of politics was becoming less elusive to her younger brother. "A Kazekage who falls in love with a courtesan doesn't exactly fit that description, does he?" Kankuro and Temari looked at each other out of the corners of their eyes; they were supportive of Gaara's relationship with Ai and made sure he knew they valued it. However, they were also supportive of him moving on from her so whenever she was discuss, both siblings moved as slowly and pushed as gently as they dared. It turned out Gaara was not actually asking their opinion, however, as he continued to speak: "a Kazekage who, on the other hand, marries a beautiful princess, brings together two nations and presents to his village a kind, wonderful, gentle wife…" Gaara's voice trailed away as he thought about it. "That is the kind of man this village deserves, wouldn't you say so?"
"Yes, Gaara."
***
Lena and the girls had returned to Koto for the day in order to see their old friends and spend time with Ruby who, having raised them, was the closest thing they had to a mother. This left Ai on her own in the large, empty Marble Palace. Feeling throughly lethargic and almost with a headache out of sheer boredom, Ai decided to head to the market in the nearest town.
She had not seen Sasuke or Madara for weeks; they had taken leave shortly after Sasuke attacked her and, whilst Ai was grateful to be out of their company, she was beginning to feel a little lost again. Every time Ai figured her life out, something would happen to through it all into uncertainty again; Kai, Gaara, Jiraiya and now Sasuke had given her hope that her future could be worthwhile, that she could do something important with her time and eventually be happy. For what felt like the millionth time in her life, Ai was abandoned, living without a goal, brimming with ambition to do something, anything, but completely unsure of what was out there.
Picking up her grey, raincloud-coloured shawl, Ai wrapped it around herself and exited the palace's main doors. The day was overcast; the sky was the same colour as her dress and it looked like it could rain any moment. Ai did not mind; she had grown to love the rain as much as she loved the dry earth of the desert. There was a homeliness, a warmth to both of those aspects of nature so Ai welcomed the rain. She stood on the steps of the palace and took a deep breath of that cool, tropical air; the air was always thinner before it rained. It was soothing and calming to her restless soul.
Ai took a step into the gardens and turned sharply at the sound of falling leaves beside her. With great speed, Ai held out a summoning tag as her weapon and, without being aware she was doing it, put her other hand protectively in front of her chest. Beneath the grey georgette, the white ribbons wrapping around her injury were visibly. She appraised Sasuke as he stood, eerily silent as usual, next to her.
"What are you doing?" Ai asked after a moment.
"I am to accompany you-"
"Stay away from me." Sasuke stopped moving as he attempted to walk to her side. But the dancer did not budge, she held out the parchment she had written on in thick black ink, adamant that she would use it if he came next to her.
"I am here for your protection," Sasuke informed her.
"Protection from the man who slept with me and attempted to kill me a mere six hours later?" Ai asked sarcastically.
"Ai," Sasuke took a step towards her and knew that his cool, calm demeanour would soothe this frightened dove. "There are bigger things than us right now."
"Yes," Ai returned the parchment to her pocket and shot Sasuke a pointed look, "much bigger things." When Sasuke had no reaction, Ai moved off. "Keep a five foot distance from me at all times." The shinobi respected her request and waited for her to walk away before continuing behind the courtesan.
"Where are you going?" He asked loudly.
"To the market," Ai called over her shoulder. "I need wax to seal parchment."
***
The market town of Nikko resided within the kingdom Princess Taki was from and it was by far one of Ai's favourite places she had ever visited. It was always bustling with villagers calling to one another, stalls were cracking under the weight of beautiful or tasty items, the smell of a busy town hung in the air. It was a remarkable place, world-famous for its variety of sweets and fabrics. There was no end to the smells you could smell and the sights you could see; one moment you were holding your nose against the smell of fresh fish and the next your mouth as watering for some of the sweet mango juice. Jewels glittered from the stalls, women of all creeds came to try them in their hair, around their necks; all the while the market sellers would issue false compliments and order servants to bring out tea for the customers.
Ai had come here often since staying in the Marble Palace, she and Lena had found some of the finest mulberry silk they had ever seen and taken it to a tailor in the town to be made into dresses. It was an odd glimpse into normality for the trouble-ridden courtesan. How she longed sometimes to be one of the women behind the stall, smiling at customers, shouting at street children and enjoying a cup of hot sakē at the day's end.
"Looks good!" Ai commented to herself as she and Sasuke wandered through the section of the market where street food was sold. "Must you wear your hood?" Ai turned to ask Sasuke who lifted his dark hood up over his head.
"I think you should put your veil up," Sasuke hissed, "you are attracting attention." Ai looked around to find that many people were looking her way but for no reason other than it was clear she was not from this town. In Suna, Ai would fit in like any other village girl, although her clothes would be considered far too expensive for the average villager. Here, however, her light eyes and dark hair, the princess-like way in which she held herself and the menacing figure beside her, gave all the impression that an outsider was among them.
"I'll be fine," Ai hissed back at Sasuke who tried to stop himself from yanking her veil and putting it up himself. Ai forever lived to do everything contrary to him; she was stubborn and irrational. It pained the man to be beside her. "Wait, that smell-!" And yet, Sasuke thought as he watched her go up onto her tiptoes, close her eyes and take a deep breath of the sweet smell again, there was something addictive about her. Wouldn't it be wonderful just to hear her moan under you? Didn't she have the perfect hair to cover the silk sheets of your bed with? There was something intoxicating about Love. "I know that smell!" Ai commented and was suddenly hurrying through the crowds, her feet pounding agsint the grey cobbled stones to find the source. "It's from Suna!" She exclaimed with a broad smile, "I know it so well!" Sasuke was having trouble keeping up with her as she dodged market goers and children. "Jinyinhua (Japanese honeysuckle)!" The girl almost fell over in excitement as she reached the stall which was hastily crafted in front of a small green house.
The flowers in the stall reached tall heights; stacked up in baskets hanging from the frame of the stall, the whole place smelled like home to the girl who was so desperate to go back there. All the flowers at the stall, from honeysuckle, to jasmine, to camellia, to rose, were all the kinds found in the palace of Sunagakure! They were being bound together in bouquets by workers with messy hands. Colours of white, pink, the slight silver of the jasmine, the gold of the honeysuckle, were all sparkling before Ai as her eyes shimmered with delight.
"You ran here for flowers?" Sasuke asked, confused by why Ai was so excited.
"These are the flowers of my home," Ai smiled fondly at the roses, her fingertips brushing the soft petals gently. "Don't you ever miss things from Konoha?" She turned to Sasuke and asked with a small smile. He frowned; what was there to miss? He supposed once in his travels he had smelt the soupy, meaty smell of ramen being made and was reminded of Ichiraku's ramen shop. Once he had even stopped as the smell of cherry tree blossoms reminded him of Sakura; her hair used to smell just like them. But did he miss those things?
"I wonder why this stall has only flowers from Suna…?" Ai asked herself, interrupting Sasuke's thoughts. The girl's blue eyes flicked up to someone who was standing inside the market stall, at the back. It was a short, round man and Ai, hearing his shrill voice, had a sudden wave of recognition come over her. "Oh no!" She exclaimed and ran around the stall to hide at the side of the house so the man could not see her. Sasuke followed, hand already on his katana, ready to strike.
"What? What is it?" He asked Ai as he came to stand in front of her. She had pulled her veil over her head and was leaning against the wall of the house, trying not to be seen. Over her shoulder, she spotted the small man, bossing some of the workers around.
"That is a gardener from Suna!" As Ai spoke, Sasuke's hand dropped from his weapon.
"A…gardener?" He said in disbelief, looking over at the man with a weary look. Small drops of water began to fall against the roof of the stall; Sasuke could hear the pitter patter of raindrops.
"I once stole birds from his greenhouse," Ai explained quickly but Sasuke still could not understand. "No one from Suna can see me- I am supposedly a traitor to the Kazekage!" She informed him but Sasuke was suddenly watching the way she held her veil against her mouth. Her fingertips were smudging against the rose colour she had painted on her lips. Full and plump, her lips were pouting as she parted them slightly and bit her finger in worry. "What would he be doing in Nikko?" Ai asked and, almost too perfectly, overheard her answer:
"The Palace of Sunagakure ordered these a week ago! How are they not ready!?" The small gardener shrieked at a worker in his shrill voice, face becoming red with frustration. "They are for the Kazekage's engagement to your princess…" The rest Ai could not hear; the rain was getting heavier, distorting her hearing.
Her body stopped working properly; her heart was beating hard and loud in her ears, she could not breathe but did not care to, her eyes were misting over with deep, dark remorse. The Uchiha put his arm up against the wall beside her to shield her from view of the marketplace. Before she knew it, she was slumped against Sasuke, holding on the his cloak, crying against his shoulder. Sasuke stared down at her, unsure of what to say or do, he let her body shake against him as the rain thundered down around them.