Chereads / Romancing the Kazekage / Chapter 29 - Life Without You

Chapter 29 - Life Without You

"Don't say anything that could be taken the wrong way. Keep things simple. Be gentle. Do not bring up war or battle or anything that would be considered too vulgar for polite company." Temari sped through her advice as her fingertips brushed the buttons on Gaara's collar until they shone. "Oh, and obviously be polite." She added as an afterthought. The entire morning she had barely paid attention to her two brothers; the girl had been too busy readying the palace for their guests. Now, she was stood with Gaara in their living room, making sure his red cloak had no imperfections, before they walked through to greet the Kamakura family. Temari smoothed down the fabric on Gaara's shoulders and finally looked him in the eye. Her little brother looked entirely lost and stared at her blankly. "Say something." She prompted him, but only one thought came to Gaara's mind:

"This is a lot to remember." He was finding it difficult to speak, as though his nerves were clamping down on his larynx. Kankuro entered the living room, stretching in an entirely nonchalant manner that Gaara envied.

"Temari and I will do most of the talking." Kankuro mumbled through a yawn. He finally caught the uneasy look on Gaara's face as he came to stand beside Temari. "What's the matter?"

"What if," Gaara paused, trying hard to articulate his worries, "what if I scare her?" Temari raised an eyebrow.

"How could you possibly do that?" She asked but Kankuro waved away the idea.

"You're going to be fine, little brother." He reassured Gaara.

"Smile-" Temari encouraged

"Yeah just not in that way you did when you were twelve, that would really freak her out!" Temari elbowed Kankuro in the ribs as he said this.

"Kankuro!"

"Sorry." The puppeteer mumbled, massaging his side. The eldest sibling sighed in exasperation before putting on a smile and taking Gaara's face in her hands.

"It's just the three of us together in this world, Gaara." She said softly. "We've only got each other. You have raised our family back out of the depths of fear. Becoming Kazekage, becoming a great shinobi have given our family a good name again. Now you go on to meet someone you could really have a future with." The girl smiled in earnest at him, "you carry not only your own honour, but ours with you. And we put all of our faith in you that you will see this through to the right end-"

"But Temari-" Gaara began.

"That end may not be with this girl." Temari acknowledged his fear. "Or any girl the elders introduce you to." She smiled at him but Gaara's eyes widened with fear.

"But Temari-"

"The Kamakura family is seated in the drawing room, Temari-sama, you may go through and greet them." Gaara's tutor, Hana, addressed them from the doorway.

"Thank you, Hana-sama." Temari said with a bright smile and turned to the door that lead to the drawing room. A servant moved forwards to open the door.

"But Temari-!"

"What is it?" She hissed at Gaara as the doors opened.

"I've forgotten her name!"

"Oh, gods." Temari whispered, attempting to hide her annoyance as Kankuro snorted with laughter beside her.

***

As per Jiraiya's advice, Ai firmly decided to become more involved in the life at Koto, although this was proving challenging. Every room she entered, the girls would ignore her or tease her. Of course Ai, who was talented at conversation, could easily outsmart them but chose not to for fear of further isolating herself. So she sat there, accepting their jibes over the dinner table, trying desperately to get along with them. But the girls here were different; no topic of conversation was out of bounds, too vulgar or too distasteful. Ai had the distinct feeling that they openly discussed their activities with their customers just to shock her; to frighten a girl they thought was very timid and inexperienced. But nothing did shock Ai, oddly, she felt much older than them, as though she had lived several lifetimes before they had taken their first breath. It was also because she was treated like an adult during her time at the Tea House; she sat for breakfast with her tutors, very rarely with the other girls and when she did it had always been pleasant. Getting to know the girls here was proving difficult.

It was not helped by the special attention she received from the elders in the House. Ruby and the other elders, dance teachers, cooks, maids, accountants, musicians, often called out for Ai as she passed their rooms, to ask her advice on House matters. Ai did not mind, she fit in for the ten minutes they spoke with her but they threw her back into the wilderness of Koto, earning her jealous stares from other girls. Jiraiya came back to see Ai almost every week since their first meeting; he would bring her fruit from the market or treasures from his travels. In the nights that Jiraiya would stay in Koto, Ai was happiest; the pair grew quite fond of one another, although Ai did often shut the door in annoyance whenever Jiraiya's gaze would start to wander.

"Tell me the story of the King and the Ox again, Jiraiya-sama." She pleaded with him one night but Jiraiya smiled up at her from behind his cup of hot sake and wrinkled his nose.

"You keep asking me to tell you stories when you yourself write so wonderfully, watashi no megami (goddess of mine). Why not put pen to paper and demonstrate your skill?" And so, Jiraiya found himself with a student the likes of which he had never had before. Usually he took on young people who wanted to learn shinobi skills and had never taught anything else. Now, however, he would come and ask Ai to recite whatever work she had written and would offer her guidance. He taught her to master beautiful poetry and effortless foreshadowing in her longer work.

They developed a playful and close bond that Jiraiya was often amused by; Ai was so like the poetry written about her. Renai was known for her beauty and temper, and Ai lived up to that reputation as though trying to prove it. Once, Jiraiya had asked her if she considered writing more adult work and in response she stood with a sweet smile and poured his liquor out the window at the sheer insult of being asked such a thing. Part of Ai simply played the role, like she had done with Gaara; she would feign anger or upset just to have the other person try to make her smile. To Jiraiya it was endearing, there was something very sweet about the way she would spy his movements under her eyelashes to catch a glimpse of his apology. He found, like many others, it was easy to grow enchanted with the young beauty. Ai would stare up at the stars with the same longing he had once felt in his teenage years. She longed for something more than the life she was given, just as Renai would and Jiraiya appreciated that.

One evening, Ai was waiting for Jiraiya and had decided, as on many nights before, to go in search of the silver haired boy who was playing music on the balcony a few weeks ago. The one that had caught her attention out in the rain, the one who sang words she knew too well. She had tried to ask about him but the other dancing girls and the elders of Koto were uninterested or too busy to hear of the mysterious boy from the balcony.

Ai was walking through the bedrooms of Koto with haste; she had forgotten that on Sunday evenings customers were invited into the private quarters before sunset. So Ai was blushing as she found herself in a part of the House she was unfamiliar with; she saw girls slinking their way back to their bedrooms with misty-eyed men wandering behind them. The smell of perfume was thick in the air, the heat of sex warmed up the dark wood of Koto as Love flitted between the rooms, trying desperately not to be seen. Suddenly, she heard the lyrics of that familiar song being shouted in a room further down the corridor. She was glad to have worn a dark blue dress; she blended in with the walls so no man paid attention to her. It was only when Ai's face came clearly into view that they stopped and stared so she was able to make her way to the room with ease.

"YOU HAVE BECOME POETRY!" She frowned as she approached the door from behind which she could hear someone shouting in a drunken manner. It was not that soft singing voice the boy had sung in a few weeks ago; perhaps someone had heard him singing too? Perhaps Ai could find him if she went through the door? Creeping up to the room, the floorboards creaked beneath her feet as Ai pushed the door open.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" Ai suddenly shouted into the room as soon as her eyes came across its contents. Lena, her blonde curls askew, blouse on the floor, was stood up against a bookcase; Ai caught a glimpse of her without her blouse on and immediately apologised and went to back out of the room. It wasn't until she saw Lena had no reaction to her intrusion and instead glanced at her quickly and then back to someone else in the room, that Ai stopped what she was doing.

"For the sake of the god's, Ai, get security." Ai took in Lena's face as she hissed at her; a bruise was forming under her eye, her lip was swollen. She looked on in a mix of anger and fear at something that was blocked from Ai's view by the door. Ai, who was not one to leave a friend in danger, swung the door open fully to look over to Lena's bed.

Beside a bed with dark, dusty drapes, swaying on his feet, the front of his shirt ripped with a bottle of something in his hand, stood Lena's customer for the evening. Ai looked him up and down quickly; barely forty, balding with black beady eyes, he was drunk out of his mind and his knuckles were splattered with blood. He had attacked Lena. Ai's blue eyes narrowed on him with hate. She shut the door behind her and walked into the room. At the sound of the door closing, the drunkard finally looked over to her with a lopsided smile of lust.

"Well, well…we…." But words would not come to him as his eyes focussed on the beauty before him. Her cold blue eyes softened into a come-hither stare until they glittered, her skin seemed to shine like the moon, she looked like a delicacy not found on Earth! His mouth opened and closed in astonishment as the girl nodded to him with a small smirk, beckoning him over to her. On uneasy and shaking legs he stumbled over to her as though she were an angel; a look of awe struck his face and he fell onto his knees before her.

Lena, who saw Ai distracting the man, leant down to pick up her blouse and put it on hurriedly. She watched as Ai removed a crystal hair pin from her hair and dragged the needle across her ring finger. "What the hell are you doing, Ai?" She snapped impatiently. "Call security and get him thrown out!" The man barely seemed to notice Lena anymore, the corner of his mouth twitched as Ai smiled down at him. He clasped his hands before her as though kneeling in prayer.

"I have memorised you," he muttered under his breath, looking longingly up at Ai.

"No." Ai said quietly in repose to Lena, "being thrown out of a whore house is no way to treat a woman beater." Lena frowned and watched as Ai raised her bloodied finger to the man's temple. The blonde in the corner gasped as she could swear silver light emitted like a glow from Ai's skin, as though moonlight seeped from her pores. "You deserve a little pain, don't you?" Lena's green eyes widened in surprise as Ai swiped her finger across the man's forehead, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (summoning jutsu)," she whispered. In an instant, the man's face went from a look of pure bliss before screwing up in pain and sagging in his unconscious state. The light went out from behind the his eyes before his body swayed and fell to the floor with a loud THUD. There was a crack of bone shattering as his nose broke on impact with the hard wooden floor. A dark liquid began to ooze from beneath his face and soak into the wood.

From the puff of smoke that erupted around him in the jutsu, Ai snatched a scroll. She stepped over the man and walked over to Lena who's face was still showing shock. "Here," Ai handed out the scroll to Lena who shook her head in fear, backed up into the bookshelf once more and tried to breathe easy. She had never seen a woman act so cooly around someone who could clearly have hurt them both; AI exuded a power unlike which Lena had ever seen. "It is a disarming tag; you place it on the skin of an attacker to immobilise them, keep it with you." Still Lena did not move and the kind, soft expression on Ai's face faltered. She raised her voice, "you will take it!" She commanded and Lena reached out a shaking hand.

"You," Lena whispered, "you saved my life." Ai smiled and turned back to the body on the floor.

"Not quite," she tilted her head at the attacker, "not much he could have done in that state. Let's clean you up," Ai said turning back to Lena who nodded. As Ai went to grab a cloth from Lena's cupboard, the blonde girl wiped blood from the cut on her lip and spat at the man on the floor. She muttered something under her breath, causing Ai to turn to her sharply.

"What language was that?"

"Tongue of my people," Lena turned to her and winked, "warriors from the land of the Samurai." She exclaimed dramatically.

"It's very beautiful," Ai said as she dampened he cloth with alcohol to clean Lena's cut. The language Lena had spoken reminded her of the dead language, but Lena frowned as she said this.

"I called him the son of a swine fuc-"

"Ai?" The two girls, both caught on different ends of the thread of a thought, looked up to the door as Ruby entered, followed closely by Jiraiya. "What are you doing in the private qua…." But Ruby's face fell as she looked at the body on the floor. "What on Earth?"

"Ai, did you do this?" Jiraiya asked sternly.

"She protected me," Lena interrupted, taking a step in front of Ai ask though to protect her from getting into trouble. Ruby looked at the girls with wide eyes and called for security to take the man to a hospital.

"Ai," Ruby began, unsure of exactly what to say, "I am so grateful that you protected one of our girls but you must not harm customers."

"He will be fine in a few hours!" Ai protested but knew Ruby was right; Ai should not have let her emotions get the better of her and left the job to security. Ruby was about to answer back but Jiraiya but a hand on her shoulder.

"I will discuss this with Ai, Ruby," he said seriously. "Come, Ai," he called to her, "I bought you mangos from the market, perfectly ripe!" He smiled to her as Ai handed the alcohol-doused cloth to Lena and walked to meet Jiraiya.

"You might want to talk to her about that old fashioned hair style," Lena called after them and Jiraiya turned in surprise to her. Ai lowered her gaze and turned to Lena; she had thought some progress would have been made given the last ten minutes. "Convince her to let me have the honour of cutting it for her tonight." Ai looked up in surprise to see Lena smiling at her sincerely. The dark haired beauty smiled back and nodded gratefully before her teacher put his arm around her shoulder and guided her from the room.

***

The brother and sister of the Kazekage were growing anxious; was Gaara ever going to find a perfect partner? Even they were guilty of not helping the situation; Kankuro once asked if a princess could sing, only to draw attention to the memory of a girl who could. Temari, who constantly asked after the simpler, sweeter girls, would grow angry with Gaara when he seemed bored by them. She would tell him not to look for mischief or beauty but a kind and considerate girl. But for Gaara, who was so used to hearing that he was the one in the wrong, it made him feel even more lost. Temari had to constantly remind herself not to be so impatient with her youngest brother who had loved and lost in the space of almost a year. A boy who, despite his best intentions, could not get Love out of his brain. To make matter worse, on the days where Gaara was fine, other obstacles would present themselves and force any potential relationship out of existence. Only the other day when Gaara had tried to introduce his family to a nice, well-mannered girl from a neighbouring village, the most bizarre and unexplainable thing happened.

Gaara had stood to greet the girl, a timid thing with dark brown curls, and her father. "This is my older sister, Temari and my older brother, Kankuro." He said politely as he gestured to his siblings. The two families were stood either side of a table where tea had been served, in the Kazekage's private drawing room. The girl nodded with a shy smile to Temari and Kankuro as she stepped forward to greet them.

"How do you- AAAH!" Immediately the girl lifted her hands above her head to protect herself as, with a WOOSH, a cloud of sand sped towards her and halted between her and Gaara. Completely blocked from view, Temari's face becoming red with frustration and Kankuro had to hold his snigger as just a smile as Gaara tried to look over the sand to see the girl and her family.

"And this," he began feebly, "is my sand." Kankuro erupted into a fit of laughter.

Hours later, the three were sat in Gaara's office, reminiscing about the difficult meeting. "This is failing miserably." Kankuro commented in a monotone voice but catching a look from Temari he smiled up at his younger brother who sat with his head in his hands. "Not that it is your fault, Gaara!" He assured him but Gaara simply stared at him blankly, not buying into his kind words. Their older sister, who was growing tired of months with not a single girl requesting a second visit, or Gaara showing the faintest bit of interest, huffed in exasperation.

"Next time let's keep the gourd out of the room." She suggested and stood from her chair, "and would it kill you both to smile a little more?" The blonde hissed at her brothers before leaving the office. They could still hear her muttering as she walked down the corridor. Gaara looked up at his brother and frowned.

"I fear it might just kill me, Kankuro." He said and shared a small smile with the puppeteer.

"You and me both, little brother." Kankuro watched as Gaara ran a hand through his hair, making he already messy red locks even messier. He tugged on his hair as though to wake himself up.

"I don't want to meet any more girls!" Gaara shouted finally, "it's too difficult." His brother smiled as he heard the genuine fear and frustration in Gaara's voice. "I realise now that Ai must have been insane to be in love with me!" His older brother grinned broadly.

"This is why I stick to girls at an hourly rate." He said, much to the distaste of the Kazekage who leant back in his chair.

"That's foul." Gaara commented but Kankuro raised an eyebrow at him.

"Says the man who fell in love with one of them." He teased, "I haven't been foolish enough to do such a thing." At this sentence, Gaara frowned.

"But you…" His soft voice trailed away, unsure of how to speak to his brother.

"What?" Kankuro encouraged.

"You go to bed with them don't you?" As Gaara asked the question, the man with a painted face smiled slyly.

"And I say goodbye in the morning." The puppet master shrugged, "sleeping with someone and being in love with them can be mutually exclusive, Gaara. I'm sure you and Ai slept together before you were in love, didn't you?" Kankuro watched with amusement as Gaara shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unable to meet his brother's gaze. It seemed Kankuro was getting closer to the problem at the heart of it all.

"Yes," Gaara said in a quiet voice. "but all these girls are.…" Again, Gaara was unsure of the word to use.

"Are what?" Kankuro urged him.

"They're all so…proper." Finally, Gaara looked his brother in the eye as though somehow, telepathically perhaps, Kankuro would understand him. But it seemed Kankuro was having too much fun, he feigned ignorance and his a smile as he asked:

"Proper?"

"They all smile so politely and pour tea for me and look at me with round eyes!" Gaara finally said, "so innocent, so naive, so…" Kankuro leant forwards.

"So…?" He prompted, earning a blank stare from his brother who huffed as though irritated he would have to say it.

"Uninviting." A smile cracked onto the puppeteer's face as the Kazekage said it.

"Well they're not going to make eyes at you from behind their father's!" Kankuro laughed, "no girl would ever be so bold." But Gaara looked over to his bookshelf quickly, remembering a moment he had spent there with his first love.

"Ai only ever had to look at me to make me lose my senses." He said quietly. "She had this way about her; she could make me feel as though I were the only man in existence." Even Kankuro smiled as Gaara reminisced. "As though I were a goal. As though I were the only thing that could save her." The red headed boy shrugged, finding it a difficult feeling to explain. And she was…" Gaara faltered.

"Was…?"

"Brave." He said confidently. "She could pour thoughts into my head in the middle of a prayer ceremony." Gaara jumped as Kankuro let out a hearty laugh.

"And I am accused of being the deviant out of the two of us?" He watched as even Gaara smiled bashfully. "Ai was a rebel and trained in the art of seduction. Not the type of girl the elders would chose for you." Suddenly, the older sibling was serious. "You have to stop looking for Ai in these girls." But Gaara could not bear to think about her.

"I," he interrupted, trying to change the subject, "I'm just thinking out loud, how am I supposed to feel a connection with any of these girls if I never meet them alone?" Kankuro genuinely seems to consider the idea, he brought his lips to his fingers and thought for a moment before shrugging as though defeated.

"Maybe that's where we're going wrong" he said. "Maybe instead of families meeting, we should set it up so just the two of you can talk?" Gaara's ocean-coloured eyes lit up at this.

"That sounds a lot better. Then there won't be all this pressure to act a certain way or say certain things. I could be myself." He said in earnest.

"Very well then!" Kankuro said happily, standing from his chair. "I will tell Temari there is a new plan of action!"

***

Ai was in need of money, the Tea House had given her a stipend to become adjusted in Koto and that money was quickly running out. A woman of a particular skills set, she was only accustomed to a few occupations, but after a discussion with Jiraiya and Ruby, she had been assigned the work of a tutor for a young princess. In a town, back out to wards Suna, away from the Village of Rain, was a royal family who lived modestly. With a river running through it, sandy-coloured stone bridges and walkways gave the basic structure of the town which was scattered with small houses and shops. It was a tiny place, in Ai's opinion, nothing like what she would draw if told to sketch a kingdom. With horse-drawn carriages and glass-stained windows, the place looked like something out of a fairy tale. It was sunnier here too, than in Koto; the warm breezes from Suna fluttered through here to meet the rain further North.

With long blonde hair, wispy and straight, and soft grey eyes, the princess looked like a porcelain doll when Ai first met her. But she was a sweet, in the dancer's opinion and a little outspoken, like Ai herself. The princess often sat in clothes she found uncomfortable and too pink or too peach and would sure longingly out of the window to look out at the docks. The princess was, unlike Ai, a tomboy, a lover of the outdoors. She lived to smell the fresh cut grass and blossoming honeysuckle, she hated to be stuck indoors. Ai had told her that her name Taki, suited her because it meant 'waterfall' but the princess had waved away the idea and suggested that she show Ai the beautiful waterfalls in the castle.

The courtesan was introduced as a tutor of poetry, language and etiquette; she could produce a fine princess under her tutelage. So Ai took over the girl's education and created an assortment of more ladylike activities for her to get involved in. Even things Ai did not enjoy; she had to sit with the girl and do needlework. Boring, tiresome, long work! Being the same age, the two girls had to remember to keep their relationship professional; otherwise they could give in to drinking tea and playing cards outside all day. But Ai was particularly strict, she surprised herself by that fact, and kept the girl in order.

It was in the royal house, a small stone castle, that Ai sat now in the study with the young princess. Taki was reading from an old anthology Ai had gifted her and Ai sat opposite her, reading through the princess' writing to make sure it was perfect. Half listening to the girl, half concentrating on the work in front of her, Ai sat as the girl spoke aloud the words in front of her.

"For what else is there but the girl from Konoha?" The princess recited in her sweet voice. Ai nodded gently but kept her eyes on her work. She sat in clothes Jiraiya had bought for her; a deep purple silk with a gold trim, full length sleeves, a long skirt and delicate veil. Her attire had to be completely different as a tutor. No longer did she wear the soft delicate colours of youth, or the tiny diamonds that tinkled around her; she had to wear deep, jewel toned silks and thick bands of gold or silver. When she had first worn the clothes she felt a lot older; these were the kind of threads women of high creeds wore, unlike anything she thought she would ever own.

"It is in the sweet night breezes I hear her voice, in the unfurling of rosebuds I see her face-" Ai looked up with a frown; she knew the poem by heart:

"I see her…?" As she interrupted, the princess looked at her blankly.

"Face." She said again.

"Try again." Ai said with a small smile and reached forward on the desk to grab a spare piece of parchment. She wrote two words on the paper, her delicate kanji symbols unfurling in the ink, before turning the paper around so the princess could read it. "This, is the word for 'face'," she explained putting her pen against the symbol, "and this is the word for-"

"Face!" The princess insisted. "That says face!" Ai smiled.

"It is also the word for honour, your highness."

"How am I supposed to know which one he means?" Taki huffed and folded her arms.

"He means both," Ai said softly, wanting only to encourage the girl. "Once you become accustomed to poetry, you will have a sixth sense for these things. And there is a slight difference in the way the words are written, see?" Ai explained, indicating to the paper once more. But the princess seemed unimpressed.

"How can one see anyone's honour in a rosebud?" The blonde asked.

"In the same way one can hear a voice in the night breeze, perhaps?" At Ai's answer, the princess wrinkled her nose in offence.

"Poetry is ridiculousness!" She muttered with a shake of her head.

"It is the most beautiful manner in which humans can express themselves." Ai replied, "and you need to learn all of this in order to become a young lady." But the princess was already looking out of the window.

"I don't care for it." Taki exclaimed, "come, Ai-sama, let's go shopping!" Ai nodded with a smile before writing something else on the paper between the two women.

"If you can tell me what this means." The blue eyes dancer asked. The princess looked at the symbol before looking up at Ai blankly.

"…Face?" She said feebly, causing Ai to frown.

"Maybe I am a bad teacher…?" Ai asked herself, but this turned out to be the wrong thing to say. The princess, who was already impatient with her lessons, folded her arms in a huff.

"I'm no good at any of this." She moaned but in an exaggerated, dramatic manner that made Ai laugh. Soon, the princess was laughing too.

"Nonsense, you will get there in time." Ai encouraged and the two went back to their routine of Ai reading her work, and the princess reciting. After ten more minutes, the girl fell silent and Ai looked up to see what the matter was. The princess, pushing a blonde lock of hair behind her ear, looked up at Ai, suddenly serious.

"Do you like poetry?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Why?" Ai took a deep breath, wondering how to explain.

"Before pictures or music or books, there was the spoken word," Ai began. "And the only way to express true beauty was through poetry. It is man's first gift from the gods." Knowing this was a good answer, the princess could not retaliate, after thinking for a moment, her eyes lit up.

"Did you hear about the girl the Kazekage fell in love with?" She asked and Ai lowered her gaze quickly.

"No, I," the courtesan faltered. "I have yet to hear." She said bashfully. Many had heard of a village girl falling in love with the Kazekage, word had spread around the five nations. But no one knew the details and Ai's identity was kept secret. She had heard people discussing her and Gaara in the streets before today, but no one had ever spoken directly to her about it. Ai, of course, had to deny ever even hearing about the Kazekage for fear of being linked to the treason she was accused of.

"They say she is beautiful beyond anything this world knows," Taki said, earning a small smile from Ai, "and she was born out of poetry. There are songs written about her and the Kazekage, I hear the choir singing them in the temple when they think no one is listening." Ai had no idea what to say, she simply looked away and fiddled with her gold bangles. Taki noticed this sudden change in demeanour and, as a soft breeze flew in from the river, she leant forwards to talk to Ai. "Do you think she's real or made up?" Ai smiled.

"What do you think?"

"Made up." The princess said matter-of-factly. Try as she might, Ai was a little offended.

"Why is that?"

"Because people are born of people." Taki said, rolling her eyes at any other nonsense. "And the Kazekage is too good looking to be tied down. I refuse to believe it." Ai could feel herself beginning to blush, she looked at the words on the page in front of her, written in the princess' delicate handwriting, her vision began to blur as the image of Gaara came into her head.

"Is he?" Ai asked softly.

"Don't tell me you haven't heard about Sabaku no Gaara!?" Taki's eyes widened but Ai did not want to hear it. She collected the paper in front of her.

"Come, your highness, we still need to-"

"They say he is one of the most handsome warriors of our time." Taki said dreamily, beginning to plait her hair on one side of her head. "Powerful and quiet. One of those silent and strong types, you know? They say he steals hearts with just his eyes." Ai smiled at hearing this.

"How does one steal hearts with eyes?"

"I," the princess thought for a moment before realising her comments earlier about poetry were defeated. "Oh," she muttered with a small smile before looking up at her teacher.

"It seems poetry is not so alien to you after all!" Ai beamed, oddly proud that Taki had spoken in metaphor. The rest of the lesson passed with Ai pleaded with the princess to sit down for an hour long history lesson but the princess was uninterested. As she left the castle, the servants from the kitchens gifted her with a tin of sweets for her home. Ai took them gratefully as she entered her carriage to take the hour long journey back to Koto.

The Kazekage was finding his title more of a burden than usual nowadays. The constant pull and push of meeting families was wearing him down, grinding at his bones until he felt like shutting his doors to the world. Some days were harder than others; he would catch the way a girl spoke, softly at poetically, it would remind him of the girl he lost and the rest of his day would spiral into melancholy. He could barely eat, but drank enough for two, on the nights where he would ache from the want of Love.

Constantly wrestling with the same emotions; anger, hate, fear, despair. It was almost exactly like how he felt when he hit the age of thirteen. Suddenly hormones came rushing in to add to the already confused and chaotic mind he had to play host to. A lot of the time, when he was younger, he felt as though he were never really in his body; a part of his pain numbed him to the point where he had to do something to feel alive. He always had to feed it; the hunger of wanting to feel something. Now, it was harder to give in to that reckless desire so he turned to alcohol. There was just too much pain, everywhere he turned, he could not stand the thought of being without her so he tried to numb himself.

That evening, his brother and sister said that they would not leave him alone, but he left a clone in the office and fled to the beach where he had first kissed her. There, he mourned for her and cursed another meeting with yet another girl who was not her. Kankuro came in search for him and found him, red-eyed and exhausted, on the beach. Hosting Gaara over his shoulder, the puppeteer took him home and knew that this was the last straw. Temari was fearing for the ruling of the village, rumours were spreading that the Kazekage was unfit to serve his people. Kankuro would not see it come to this. He had to do something.

***

Jiraiya came to see Ai one day, hearing that she had a day off from tutoring the princess. He arrived at Koto on a Tuesday evening, a usually slow and uneventful day, to speak with Ai. When he arrived at the House, however, he found it buzzing with life. Girls were running to and from rooms, the cooks in the kitchen were shouting at one another to cook more food. Ruby was running from room to room desperately trying to hunt down clothes and jewellery that had gone missing. The man assumed it was because this month was a holy month; usually homes are full of life and laughter at these times and Koto certainly seemed to be. It was shimmering with golden candlelight, the fragrance of sandalwood drifted up into the air as he entered.

"Jiraiya-sama!" The man jumped with surprise as a group of girls rounded on him in a corridor of the private quarters. "Ai has learnt to cheat from you!" He smiled down at them all as they held up playing cards to him; he had recently taught Ai how to play a very simple village game and she had clearly taught the girls too. Jiraiya put a hand on his heart, his hair shining behind him as he smiled at the women.

"I would never teach such dishonesty, my dear!" exclaimed but they all pouted at him.

"Don't lie to us!" One shouted

"I swear it!" He protested

"Then no one can beat her-"

"Not even you, sensei." That delicate, seductive voice rang out in the corridor as Ai, dressed in a vivacious red silk, sauntered down the hallway to greet her teacher. She bowed to Jiraiya who took offence to her words.

"Ai," he nodded his head in greeting at her, "let's not say things we will live regret."

"Regrets are not always born out of mistakes, Jiraiya-sama." Ai said sweetly, her tomato red lips curving into a perfect smile, "I regret the day I had to speak to you, for now I am tied to our tedious meetings every week. Although, if it were not for our meeting, I would not know my origin. I do not regret saying I love you to the Kazekage yet that love saw to my banishment. Funny world, ain't it?" She said the last two words with the same common accent of the people in this part of town, making the girls around her, even those running in the corridor, laugh. But Jiraiya was hurt by her words.

"Did you say tedious meetings?" He asked. "What did I do to deserve such a homecoming?" The man asked his student.

"Nothing!" Ai shouted with delight and ran up the stairs as though wanting him to chase her, form the top of the stairs she turned back to him, "I just felt like teasing you!" She giggled and ran off. Her carefree and cheerful attitude seemed to have infected the whole house; the place, which was usually still suddenly felt full of colour and movement.

"Ai! Come here!" Jiraiya called her as she escaped from view. She popped her head over the banister, her gold jewellery tinkling as she leant over to see him.

"What have you brought for me?" She called.

"I brought everyone cake," her teacher shouted back but Ai disappeared from view, "from Neba," he finished feebly, wondering where she had run to.

"Oooooh!" One of the girls eyes up the cake tin in Jiraiya's hand.

"I want cake!" Another giggled before Ruby came into the hall and shooed them all away

"Make tea, girls!" She shouted as she kissed Jiraiya's cheek in greeting. But the man seemed preoccupied, he glanced up the stairs once more.

"Where did she-?"

"And for me?" He jumped as Ai appeared next to him. He smiled at her but tried to put on a stern look as though upset with her. Eventually, her pout and long fluttering eyelashes encouraged him to hand over a book.

"Your father's work." He said as he saw her eye's light up upon seeing it.

"Utopia?" Ai read the cover, her delicate fingertips tracing along the gold foil in which the words were stamped across the cover. "Why would you bring me this?"

"So you may know the literary legacy which you so undeservedly stand on." JIraiya teased her.

"Thank you." She went on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Now come," she was already running down the corridor. "See if you can beat me at shogi!" But Jiraiya was growing impatient with her antics.

"AI!" He bellowed down the corridor. "Why does she keep running off?" He asked Ruby but even the owner of the House was held up in that chaotic, carefree atmosphere.

"I can barely get her to sit still anymore!" Ruby complained. "The younger girls follow her like fireflies follow the lamplight. The older girls are taking lessons from her. My customers catch glimpses of her and they refuse to leave until she meets with them. Oh!" The woman laughed heartily, "when she meets with them she may as well twist their ears for all the rudeness and smart-mouthed words she throws at them! She told the mayor that his shadow took the form of a woman. He was outraged but it turns out she was trying to warn him of one of his wife's spies."But Jiraiya had stopped listening, from where he was stood he could see that someone had entered the kitchen from the outside, someone unknown. The chefs in the kitchen seemed to barely notice the man because of the delicate, quick steps he took. "Why does she have to speak in riddles," Ruby was muttering as Jiraiya turned fully to the kitchen, preparing himself for anything, studying the man's movements. "That moon of ours!" The dark figure was already through the kitchen when one of the girls making tea turned to him with a smile and winked.

"What is it you are after, stranger?" She asked sweetly but the man walked straight passed her. "H-hey!" She called after him indignantly but the figure walked on. Jiraiya ran up to the door to the kitchen and blocked the man's entry in the corridor. Ruby gasped in surprise at the sudden appearance of the nodded figure. Suddenly, the House fell quiet, a chill crept back into the air.

"Speak your name, boy." Jiraiya commanded as girls came out into the corridor, Ruby held her arms up to stop them moving towards Jiraiya and the man. The figure lowered his hood and JIraiya was greeted with the sight of a purple-striped face.

"Who're you calling boy, old man?" The intruder asked scathingly. But before anyone could make another move, a songbird sang out as she ran down the stairs.

"Kankuro?" Jiraiya almost toppled over as Ai pushed passed him. The intruder's eyes widened in surprise before softening in happiness.

"Ai!" He claimed and brought her into embrace.

"What," Ai's voice came muffled from his chest before he released her to look at her face. "what are you doing here?!" She could not believe it; she hadn't seen Kankuro in months.

"Ai?" Jiraiya spoke uncertainly behind her. She turned to the corridor.

"This is the Kazekage's elder brother," she informed them "Kankuro." Everyone in the House gasped; what was the Kazekage's brother doing here? Was it true then? Was Ai really the girl from the story they kept hearing about? Ruby was the first to recover, she took a step forwards and bowed.

"Kankuro? It is a pleasure to have a member of the Kazekage's family with us this evening. A drink?" She gestured to the main part of the house but Kankuro shook his head.

"No, thank you. I am here on urgent business." He informed her before turning to the bur eyes dancer next to him. All smiles disappeared, suddenly his face looked serious, Ai could see he had aged in the last few months. Lines which only came when he frowned now sat on his face permanently. "Ai, I must speak with you alone." He spoke in a grave voice, wiping any sense of cheerfulness from the girl. She nodded to him.

"Of course." She replied. Ai guided him to a drawing room in the private part of the house, there, Kankuro refused to sit, refused to drink, eat or speak in front of anyone else. Ai stood by the window with a heavy heart; this could only mean one thing.

"He's not well, Ai." The girl shut her eyes as though she didn't want to hear it. With her back to Kankuro, she stared out of the window, letting the sinking feeling in her stomach settle itself.

"What has happened?" She asked. Kankuro took a step forwards, his voice showed great urgency.

"He's drinking too much, eating too little, canceling meetings, hiding from palace guests. Nothing anyone says or does can get through to him." Ai turned to him sharply, her gold jewellery glimmering int he candlelight.

"Why have you come here, Kankuro?" She asked.

"To ask you," he answered before shaking his head, that was not true. "To beg you," he corrected himself, "please come and see him." Ai was already shaking her head.

"I can't-"

"Please Ai, for his sake." The puppet master urged her but Ai was feeling weak at the knees, she walked forwards and fell into an armchair.

"I cannot move on from him if I go and see him."

"He cannot move on from you!" Kankuro replied. "He's tortured by his love for you." Ai let out a disbelieving laugh.

"That is all we ever seem to do to one another. Even when we were together it was torturous." A women's silence passed. All that could be heard was the ticking of a clock in the corner and Kankuro's heavy breathing. He had to make her see what this was doing to Gaara.

"I fear for his life."

"You exaggerate." Ai could not bear to hear things like that.

"I wish that were the case." Kankuro muttered grimly. "Temari is losing sleep keeping an eye on him in the nighttime. I have no time to eat because I am constantly keeping watch over the village; Gaara is not strong enough to defend Suna against intruders." Ai swallowed hard, was he really suffering? "I am begging you, speak to him." Ai fixed her veil and looked sceptical.

"What good will that do?" She asked. "Surely parting with him again will only damage the situation beyond repair?" But Kankuro was adamant, he came to kneel in front of her.

"He just wants to see you. And we know you are the only one who can talk sense into him. See him for just an hour and tell him to better himself." He begged her, taking her hands in his.

"You really think Gaara will listen to me?" She asked but Kankuro raised an eyebrow at her.

"Please, Ai. If you ever loved him," Ai looked away as he said this, "if you ever thought of us as family, you would do us this one favour." Ai looked straight into Kankuro's eyes and she could see the pain, the want, the lack of sleep, the ache, all there in his gaze. She took a deep breath before walking to the door of the drawing room.

"In three nights time I shall visit Suna in the cover of darkness. Only then will I speak to him." She glanced over her shoulder at the man who nodded in gratitude.

"I will return for you and escort you back to the village." Kankuro said. As Ai left the room, not wanting to know anymore about how Gaara was suffering, she heard him say: "his life is in your hands, Ai."