Gaara was a dreamless man for he never slept; a curse, given to him at birth, robbed him of the kind embrace of slumber. But what need was there to become lost in fantasies when she, who walked straight out of his wildest thoughts, lay content beside him?
The handsome man, once mistaken for a monster, looked over to Ai; watching the slow rising and falling over her chest, spying the curve of her long lashes as he blew gently to move a straying curl of hair from her lips.
Love stirred upon feeling the soft breeze against her skin and Gaara looked at her, almost hopeful that she would wake, but her eyes did not open. Ai frowned a little in a childish, sweet manner, before turning away from him. Gaara ran a hand through his hair and tugged at it a little; this was…everything felt…inevitable. Ai had spoken of a thread that tied them together, something deeper than either of them could control. The Kazekage, a rational man, a skeptic even, could not help but feel the tug of the divine thread of fate.
With a sigh, Gaara stood from his bed, put on his trousers and walked to his wardrobe. The sun was rising, he noticed the golden rays of light begin to pour into the room from behind his curtains and caused illuminated stripes of gold to appear on the wood of his cupboard. From within it, he pulled out a robe of royal blue with a trim of gold. He put it on but left the robe untied; Sunagakure was warm even at sunrise and no none would see him shirtless on his balcony at this time of day anyway.
On his way to the balcony, the crimson haired shinobi snatched a book from his private library, before pulling aside the curtains and stepping out on to the veranda. Gaara took a deep, satisfying breath of morning air as he stepped out into the sunshine. The world was peaceful, the air was beginning to warm with the scent of jasmine from the gardens. Gaara leant against the railing of his balcony, facing his room, and opened his book to read.
"You like Ariwara no Kai, Kazekage?" A soft voice fell like birdsong into the melody of the morning and the Kazekage looked up to see that songbird appraising him from the doorway that lead to his room. Her white robe falling off her shoulders, curls curling out of her hair, smiling at him; Ai looked angelic in the morning, strange given that last night she was anything but. With a small smile at this thought, he shrugged.
"His work seems less elusive to me, now that I have conversed with you." Ai laughed and approached coyly. "You are familiar with his work?" The Kazekage asked and watched Ai attentively as she placed her hands on the balcony's banister beside him and looked out into the world. She smiled in the way one does when reminiscing.
"He was my teacher." She said fondly, pulling her robe over her shoulders as she spoke. "He was the writer of-"
"Bakudaina Densetsu (A/N: The Untold Legends), the poems that recount the legends of the Gods." As Gaara spoke, so confidently, Ai shot him a look of suspicion. "I know his work; the books were given to me as a child." Gaara said in explanation before they both shared a small smirk at one another and looked back into the plains of the desert.
The two young lovers stood in silence on the balcony, enjoying the quiet of the morning, each enjoying the company of the other.
"His work," Gaara began, "ends halfway through a poem." Ai nodded.
"The poem Love, is incomplete. Kai-sensei left the Tea House before he finished it and the House published whatever remained." Flicking through the book, Gaara found the last poem and skimmed the page.
"He who walks in the shadow of love, will surely have heaven beneath his feet." Gaara read the last line of the poem in his gentle, yet authoritative voice and as he read Ai moved with a small smile closer to his face. "I wonder if that is true." He pondered in a way that Ai found hard not to giggle at; there was a sweetness behind the violent and commanding facade that the Kazekage adopted. His naïveté of basic human things was almost childlike; how funny that a murderer should be so innocent. Ai's smile faded.
"Can you not imagine it?" Ai asked. Gaara's brow furrowed as his fingers outlined the black ink on the page in front of him.
"I have some recollection of loving someone." He whispered and looked as though he was trying hard to remember, before he shook his head, "it was a lifetime ago; it is not worth reliving hashed and shattered memor…" His voice trailed away as the girl placed both hands on either side of his face, pulled him towards her and looked deep into his eyes with that look he could not understand.
"Can you not imagine it?" She asked again.
"I…" Gaara could not find words that would meet her look of longing with the same emotion. Her eyes were glistening in the sunlight, her lips, full and plump were quivering in anticipation to hear him speak. But the Kazekage could not say anything; like a vice on his larynx, the heartache of his childhood would not let him say it.
"Gaara?" Ai and Gaara looked up, suddenly, into the room at the sound of Temari's voice. Gaara took a protective step forward to block Ai from anyone's view. The morning breeze pulled the curtain back from his door so his big sister could see him from his bedroom. Temari appraised her brother with a smile, it was so funny to see Gaara, who she used to think of as a monster, stood in a regal robe of blue and gold, the white curtain curling away as though in fear of him. What a fine shinobi he had turned out to be. Kankuro appeared behind her and smiled at his brother.
"Hey, little bro," Kankuro waved him in but Gaara did not budge, "we have to have lunch with the Prince today-"
"He's leaving,"Temari interrupted as though irritated that Kankuro had not gotten to the point soon enough.
"Thank the Gods," Kankuro interjected under his breath.
"And I think…"Temari's smile faded, her back straightened, her arms folded. "Oh, Gaara," she said in disappointment.
In the silence of the morning, a strong breeze had fluttered into the room and around the young Kazekage like a whirlwind, lifting up Ai's hair around her. Like wisps of black smoke, they signalled her position to the others. Even her anklets tinkled in the breeze in a high-pitched, teasing way, as though delighted to get Ai into trouble.
Out of respect for those in a higher position than her, Ai stepped out from behind Gaara, her head bowed, holding her breath for the scolding.
"How long has this been going on?" Temari asked although she seemed like she did not want to know the answer. "Gaara?" She spoke louder as the two teenagers did not answer.
"What concern is it of yours, Temari?" Ai looked up at Gaara with wide eyes, shocked that he would speak like that to his sister. Upon hearing this, Temari opened her mouth in offence and took a few steps forward.
"You would risk the reputation of the palace, of our family, of yourself,"Temari raised her voice, "all for some…some…I can't even say the word-"
"Temari-sama, please-"
"Learn to speak when you are spoken to." Temari silenced Ai with a single sentence. "Leave." The blonde shinobi nodded towards the door sharply and rolled her eyes as Ai looked back to Gaara. He averted his eyes from her. Why would he not look at her? Why was he so full of fear and doubt? The Kazekage finally spoke:
"Leave, Ai." Gaara said sternly. With every moment, Ai's heart felt heavier, as though the weight of his attitude were nestling upon it. Ai nodded even though he was not looking at her. She walked past Temari, with her head held high, only to save face, and as she passed Kankuro she could have sworn, for the briefest of moments, that he smiled at her.
The door shut with a sharp thwack as she left.
Gaara walked past Temari with a look that said: happy now? The Kazekage was not a man of many words; before, his anger would result in violence, now, he remained in discourteous silence whenever someone irritated him. His elder sister's shoulders slumped as she looked apologetic. Gaara sat at his desk, his face turned away from his two siblings.
"You have worked so hard, Gaara," Temari spoke softly. "Do not throw it all away because blue eyes give you a second glance. I know you are young. I know this is new…"
"But this is no way to establish yourself as a Kage." Kankuro, to the surprise of his siblings, spoke up. He never liked to meddle in anyone's affairs but he knew his sister needed his support, he knew his little brother needed guidance. "I'm sure Ai is sweet but she isn't the sort of girl you should-"
"What sort of girl should I be spending my nights with?" Gaara turned his head to them sharply. They had not seen him become heated in a long time. Both Temari and Kankuro lowered their arms and took stance, preparing for what may come. "And who are you to tell me anyway?" The Kazekage was particularly out of character; he raised his voice, slumped in his chair and hissed at them: "Why doesn't anyone in this palace ever have the decency to leave me be?" Temari's mouth fell open in shock at her, usually calm, brother's words as Kankuro put his hands up in surrender and smiled.
"Woah, Gaara, we didn't come here to have an argument-"
"That girl has acted more like family to me than either of you ever have!" Gaara stood. "When Shukaku grows restless she comes running, she doesn't cower or bury her head in the sand!" Temari took a step back. "She is kind and treats me like a human being. I went straight from being a jinchuriki, a monster, to being a Kage living in these quarters of the palace. And in each of those positions I have found myself quarantined- shut out from the rest of the world! And you two stand there telling me what to do and who to see? I'm sick of this." He stood and put his hands in his hair. "SHUT UP!" Temari and Kankruo jumped.
"We didn't say anyt-"
"I'm talking to Shukaku." Gaara interrupted and took a few deep breaths. It took him a few moments to calm down and when he did, he sat back down and sighed. "Ai takes me away from everything; from being a jinchuriki, from being a Kage. I felt like I never knew myself but when I am around her I feel like she can see through all this. I feel like she can see who I am." Temari took a sharp breath.
"Gaara," she spoke calmly, "are you in love with her?" The three stood in silence for a moment. "She is a courtes-"
"Temari," she looked over to Kankuro as he put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. It was not her turn to speak. They waited with baited breath to hear Gaara's response.
"No." Gaara's voice came out hoarse and dry as though he did not want to say it. Temari was about to speak again but Kankuro guided her from the room with a stern look.
"Lunch is at one." Gaara heard his brother say.
News of the Prince's departure swept through the palace like wildfire; he was taking leave of the Palace with great haste and had only agreed to lunch if Ai were to perform a last dance to bid him farewell. Megumi had arranged everything before Ai had even woken that morning; the girl's clothes, jewellery and entourage of dancers were all ready for her. Ai had been summoned to her room which, unknown to anyone else, she had never actually slept in while at the palace.
Megumi walked through the palace halls hurriedly, stopping and bowing to those of high position, before carrying on to Ai's room where she heard there had been a…hindrance to Ai's preparation. That girl, Megumi fumed, she was nothing but trouble! She should never have taken in the daughter of a dreamer- like father like daughter! Always so enchanted with the world, their heads in the clouds, spinning alongside the stars. Ridiculous! Megumi reached Ai's door and waited for a servant boy to open it for her.
Upon entering the room, Megumi came to the living room of Ai's quarters and looked around to see a few dancing girls all staring in the direction of the bedroom as though waiting for something.
"What are you all-?" As the older courtesan began to speak, the girls all looked over to her in surprise as though they had not noticed her enter. At the same moment as her opening her mouth, however, someone stormed out of Ai's bedroom. "Miko!" Megumi said in surprise as the girl, Ai's good friend, walked out of Ai's bedroom looking thunderous. "What is going on?"
"She is impossible!" Miko said exasperatedly. "She refuses to dance- she refuses to even put her clothes on!" The look of distress on Miko's face transferred to Megumi; the problem with pretty girls is that they get so used to getting their own way, Ai was no exception. There was no time for this spoilt behaviour.
"Come," Megumi took Miko's hand and waved to the rest of the girls, "the rest of you, buy us time." The girls, all dressed in varying shades of blue, left the room, looking likes waves of the ocean. The leader of the Tea House took her student by the hand and lead her back through to Ai's bedroom.
The room was grand and enormous; with a round bed in the middle, a canopy of white silk falling around it. On the floor, by the bed, clutching at the bedsheets, a tear rolling down her sweet face, sat Ai. She was motionless and had no reaction to them entering the room. Her clothes, a silvery colour one could only call moonlight, were laid out on her bed beside her jewellery, glittering in the sunlight. Megumi forced a smile.
"Ai, what is that has afflicted you so?" She asked almost happily. Too happily in fact, even Miko was surprised and stayed by the door as her teacher went over the the bed and sat beside Ai. She stroked Ai's hair with motherly affection. "I would ask if it were the Kazekage but he banished…oh." Megumi stopped, her smile stopped, as Ai winced upon hearing the word Kazekage. A few moments of silenced passed in which a tiny trickle of a tear escaped the young dancer's big blue eyes. Megumi shifted on the bed, sat upright and pulled her veil higher on her head. "You are-"
"In love with him." Ai said dreamily. Miko tried to hide her surprise; how on earth was Ai in love with the Kazekage? They had only ever met once of twice!
"Please, Ai," Megumi almost scoffed, "this is a dream!" She exclaimed but her temperament did nothing to Ai who was held as though in some trance.
"Gaara is not a dream." The girl breathed, "he is reality. He is my fate." Her teacher laughed disbelievingly.
"You are young." Megumi was trying to be patient, trying to let a teenage love affair have some importance. But Ai was testing her patience. "You do not know what love is!"
"It is what keeps me tied to him. It is what resonates in my heart." Ai gripped the silk bedsheets as though clutching to the dream of him. Megumi lost what little patience she had for this.
"Is that why you seduced Nobutara?" The elder courtesan asked bluntly. Ai finally reacted; she raised her head and opened her mouth to respond but nothing she could say could rid her of the guilt. Megumi shook her head. "Face facts, princess: a whore cannot afford the luxury of love! " The woman stood and gestured to Ai who looked aghast. "You think the clothes you are wearing were bought from the value of love?! It is from the hard work of us, courtesans, breathing dreams into the eyes of our admirers that lead to you having such a pleasant upbringing."
"Kismet is inevitable!" Ai shouted back but Megumi was relentless:
"Do you think it is written on the palms of the Kazekage that he should love a whore?" Ai looked away as she said this, not wanting to hear it. "Is it written in the stars that a man of his stature should give himself entirely to a woman of our creed? Well?" Ai did not respond, she put her head in her hands as hot, full tears escaped her eyes. "Has he given himself to you?" Megumi asked. "Has he defended you? Has he proclaimed his love?" Still, Ai said nothing. "No? Then stop this foolishness." Small gasps of hurt began to escape Ai's mouth as she cried. Megumi straightened her back and glanced at Miko who looked entirely bewildered by the whole situation. The oldest courtesan began with a whisper:
"I will speak in this language because you and I alone understand it." Ai lowered her hands from her face and looked up at Megumi as her teacher began to speak a forgotten language. "You are losing your way, Ai. To read books about biju is no threat to courtesan etiquette, but to act upon what you read, to perform ninjutsu, is beneath us."The girl looked affronted.
"I did it to save him!" Ai screamed.
"And how does he thank you?" Megumi shouted back. "By sleeping with you and throwing you out of his room in the morning?" Silence. The look on Ai's face, as she watched the sunlight dance on the floor in front of her, was enough to tell Megumi that the girl had lost. "I will not have one of my girls acting so out of turn; if you dared perform ninjutsu again, join the shinobi, see if they will welcome you with such open arms." Ai glanced up at Megumi and blinked away tears. How funny, she acts one way and Gaara tells her to leave, she acts another and her family tells her to leave. There is no winning move for a courtesan.
"Get ready. The Prince leaves in an hour."