The palace baths, once a place of jubilant commotion, were now left empty. Built right at the edge of the palace with a glass dome ceiling, the giant rectangular bath had its water warmed by the desert sun. Streaming in through the glass, reflecting off the antique gold metal of the surrounding furnishings. Lanterns, unlit at this time of day, lined the walls with delicate glass shades; with the sunlight their gold holsters shimmered and reflected off the water in the bath. The room was alive with light, twinkling as though talking, as though to give company to a frequent visitor.
A girl lay on the side of the bath, fully clothed in black cotton, that same antique gold around her ankles, wrists and neck. Unmoved by the beauty of the sunset through the glass ceiling, uncaring for the water that was lapping at her foot as she dangled it over the edge of the bath. Her eyes, red and tired, her body weak and aching, she sighed. Love had had enough of this world.
From her hair she removed a hair clip; the shape of a peacock made out of a peach-coloured crystal, she let loose the needle that clasped the clip to her hair. Slowly, feeling as though her body were not her own, Ai cut across the tip of her ring finger. She watched with no trace of emotion, with no response to the pain, as the blood oozed out of her self-inflicted wound and ran down her finger. Lowering her hand into the water, Ai looked up to the ceiling as the blood seeped into the bath. The crimson unfurled like ribbons into the water and slowly, her eyes turned wide and hopeless and tears rolled, warm and unwelcome, down her face.
"You were in love with him?" Ai did not flinch as her friend spoke from the shadowed doorway; slinking into the light, a beautiful girl with emerald eyes glittered in silver and appraised our heroine with a keen eye. Ai breathed a little.
"I am." She conceded. Miko walked over to the edge of the bath, opposite her friend.
"But the Kazekage is dead." Miko announced to the empty room, questioning Ai's choice of phrasing; surely the girl meant to say 'I was?' "You said it so yourself." Miko reiterated. No emotion entered Ai's face, no quiver in her voice:
"Yes." She breathed, bringing her hand out of the water to rest on her stomach. The droplets of water ran down her hand, gliding over her fingertips and onto her clothes, the black become blacker, her skin becoming colder. "But our hearts beat in unison and so they cease in unison" she murmured. "We are the same." Miko, whose eye had been trailing into the water, looked across to her friend suddenly, disbelieving what she was hearing.
"You are dead?" She asked.
"Why not be?-"
"Don't speak like this, Ai." Miko interrupted her, not wanting to hear something that might be true, not wanting to hear something that might stop her from keeping true to her task. She walked swiftly around the bath until she towered over Ai like a beautiful willow tree; her long brown curls dancing in a soft breeze as she looked down at her friend. "I was your sister, and yet I did not know what was happening between you and a man you would give your life for." As she spoke, Ai raised herself to sit up, and brought her knees to her chest. As she did so, the edge of her skirt fell into the bath; the black material swirled in the gentle current, unnoticed and unimportant to the girl who wore it.
Miko knelt down beside Ai and pushed her hair from her forehead affectionately. Finally, Ai looked up to her; Ai's bottom lip trembled, her eyes glittered and she gasped:
"I am sorry." Miko drew her into embrace and Ai cried, whimpered, on her shoulder.
"I cannot believe it is true." Miko said after a moment of letting Ai compose herself. From her shoulder, into which Ai had burrowed, a soft voice issued.
"Believe what?"
"That Gaara could fall in love." Miko gasped in surprise as she felt Ai's shoulders lift and fall as the girl began to laugh. "What?"
"Love?" Ai moved away from Miko to look her in the eye. "Gaara does not love." Miko raised an eyebrow and felt Ai's head as though to check for a fever. But Ai pushed her hand away and continued to look at her with that dangerous glint in her eye. "If you knew him, you would hurt like this too."
"No one knew him." Miko almost laughed, "Gaara kept like the dark side of the moon; out of sight!" Again, Ai laughed. "He let everyone think he was driven by madness, a curse! How was any girl ever to get close to him?" As she spoke, Ai shook her head with a small smile, round teardrops rolling down her worn face. A few moments passed before Miko spoke; "tell me about him." Ai cast her gaze downwards. To remember him, in between the sorrow, amidst the pain, was the memory of something beautiful.
"How else would you expect a prince of our time to behave?" Ai whispered to the water, "how else should the moon keep secret it's darkness other than to hide it? And what good would madness do if it infected the minds of mortals?" Miko leant in closer, a small, malicious smile spreading across her face; so it was far-off look, that gleam in her eyes, that smile that never left her face…Ai was in love. Miko watched as her friend's blue eyes glazed over and focussed on something far off and wonderful. "The Kazekage…Gaara, was everything I thought a man could be. Wise and strong, talented and rational; he would have lead this village into a new age." Miko leant in closer to listen and adopted a look of bemusement; how strange to hear of a more personable side to Gaara of the desert. Ai smiled, "princely though, a little spoilt." Memories on the rooftop floated back into her memory and her smile faded a little. "Arrogant and aggressive," her smile faded completely, "violent even." Ai lifted her skirt out of the water of the bath and wrung out the water gently. "But," Ai gasped, her cheeks flushing red from the effort to contain her emotions, "amidst all that bravery and ferocity, was someone naive…someone who could not, to the agony of others, understand even their own heart."Ai laughed at her own predicament. "I never heard him say it," she admitted to her friend with a shake of her head; "he never confessed his love for me. That is what makes this so unbearable." Ai's bottom lip trembled and she looked away as her friend leant in closer.
"What do you mean?" Miko asked softly as Ai closed her eyes tightly, large, round tears falling down her face.
"Gaara does not love. He lures you in with that handsome face and roguish charm and binds you to some darkness that you can never be rid of." Ai whispered, "you will forever crave him, want him, ache for him. For all the softness in his eyes, for his wandering touch, for his temper," the girl laughed. "When you shut your eyes you will not be rid of the sight of him. When the wind blows your hair from your shoulder you will turn as if to find him beside you." She fell silent and after a moment her brow furrowed, "no. It does not feel like love."
"Then?" Miko urged her, "what is it?"
"Ketsueki ai." Blood-love needs no translation. Even Miko understood what this meant. So it was true. "Otherwise," Miko, whose mind had been wandering, snapped her attention back to Ai, "what can I say that a thousand poets have not already said?" Ai shrugged, "it has been done; I am in love." A curse to all courtesans; love had found another victim. Silent seconds trickled past until Miko asked an unexpected question:
"You slept with him?" Even Ai smirked a little.
"Yes." Her eyes seemed to light up as she answered and it was clear, from the look in Miko's eye, from the way she tilted her head at Ai, that she wanted to know a little more. "What else is there to say?" Ai asked, a flush of colour entering her cheeks.
"Just what every girl in Sunagakure is dying to know," Miko giggled as her friend tried to hide a smile.
"When Gaara would look at me, with eyes that showed he could not resist temptation any longer, I would feel myself begin to melt." Ai smirked in remembrance; "I would fall to my knees in a second if he asked me to." Miko looked impressed.
"So the speculation is true." Miko confirmed with a knowing smile; "the Kazekage was a skilled lover?" Ai shrugged.
"I only have the prince to compare him to," she added quickly, "but there was something in the way he would kiss me, that made me feel as though I were being sacrificed and worshipped all in the same moment."
"Really?"
"What is that line at the end of the legend?" Ai asked herself. "Love throws aside barriers, to mar the lines between opposites and see them be born out of each other." The girl regained that far-off look; "sex and violence, love and hatred, pain and pleasure…servant and Goddess. They are all so inextricably linked. He made them that way. Tied me up and brought me into his darkness, made me fall in love with him and then, vanished." Ai bowed her head, her shoulders slumped. Miko put a hand on her shoulder and offered the end of her veil to Ai, to wipe the girl's tears.
"He was a good man." Miko said to her.
"Like no other." Ai confirmed as she wiped her face with Miko's veil. Miko looked her old friend up and down; Ai was so young, so naive. She had no idea that there was so much more than her own worries in the world. How selfish. It would not matter if Ai were sacrificed for the betterment of the village.
"Only someone like Gaara could have made our village great again." Miko spoke cold and clearly into the room.
"The village?" Ai said, throwing aside Miko's veil and going to lie down again. "What can be done now? It has been four days. When news breaks of Gaara's death everything he has worked hard for will fall out of place." There was a moments silence. Ai looked up through the domed glass ceiling to see the sky turning dark.
"Not so." Ai glanced up to Miko as the girl spoke.
"What do you mean?" As Ai asked, Miko glanced around the room and pulled Ai to sit up and lean in close, as though to listen to a great secret.
"Prince Nobutara was not even a third of the way through his journey when news reached him about the Kazekage's capture." Miko whispered urgently. "The prince turned back and is arriving at the palace this evening. As Sunagakure falls under his rule, he shall aid with appointment of a new Kazekage and see over the village." Ai, who could not understand why Miko was behaving as though this were important or even critical news, lay back down with a quick shrug.
"The prince is a good man." Ai responded but Miko pulled her back up again, causing Ai to frown in annoyance.
"That is why you should go to him." Miko urged her. Ai pulled her hand out of Miko's grasp.
"What?" The blue eyed dancer asked impatiently.
"The village is looking to you, Megumi-sama said so herself." Miko spoke quickly but she could already see Ai's mind beginning to race. "Seek an audience with the prince, inform him of everything you discussed with Gaara, to help the village." Ai shook her head to signal that she could not do such a thing.
"I have other things to tend to," Ai said feebly, not wanting to give too much away to Miko. If the green eyed girl had any inkling that Kai, who raised them both, was Ai's real father, who knew what chaos would unfurl. But Miko, who was acting on her own interests, took Ai by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eye.
"What would The Kazekage want you to do? Miko saw the girl's eyes begin to dance as she seriously considered what Miko was proposing. Could Ai do anything to set things right? Plans Gaara discussed with her, were any of them pressing matters? A light flashed across her eyes and Ai looked up.
"I must speak to the prince."
Poison sinks into blood with unrelenting pain; it writhes itself around your body like a snake caught in a net; daring to break the thread, to tear through the material and unleash its anger on whoever imprisoned it. The pain, some say, can make you beg for death. But if you overcome it, if you manage to live through such horrible agony, the knowledge that your life was so easily threatened, does not go away. The hours before your body returns to normal, before your blood flows fearless through your veins, you feel somewhat like the shell of the person you once were. Poison lives with you.
At least, Kankuro mused, that must be the reason for this feeling, right?
Temari had not spoken to him since he had left the sick bay. She was too busy helping run the village in this time of chaos. If he ever happened upon her in the palace when she was free, drinking tea or sitting in the library, she would look away from him or leave the room. It had been this way for two days now. Of course, Temari did not blame Kankuro for what happened to Gaara, she would never even let such a thought cross her mind, but it seemed Kankuro reminded her of the brother she had lost. That constant reminder was too much to bear and so, as Kankuro tried to find shelter in the company of friends, he found that he was more alone than ever.
It had been four days since Ai had run from the palace temple. In other words, it had been four days since Gaara's death. Ai never told anyone, she had not spoken a word to even Kankuro or Temari. But the siblings knew, from that cold, lonely look on Ai's face as she was escorted out of the Kazekage's room, from the way her veil fell heavy upon the floor and dragged behind her as she walked. From that glance she gave them before her lips trembled and she had to look away, they knew that their brother was no longer in this world. Where was Ai now? Tamara had not seen nor spoken to her and Kankuro, whose movement was still slow following his healing, had not found the energy to seek Ai's company.
This evening, however, he decided to eat his dinner quickly and go in search of Love. Talking to her might offer him some solace at this time. He could not explain her relationship with Gaara, who could? Whoever understood that boy? Perhaps she did. Perhaps she could offer some comfort.
Kankuro abandoned his dinner half way, finding his appetite was still not returning to normal, and left his quarters. Still walking with a slight limp, he made his way to where the courtesans stayed during their time in the palace. Of course, members of the palace were not usually permitted to go there, courtesans came to their customers, but Kankuro was not much in the mood to stick to the rules this evening.
The sun was sinking below the horizon and Kankuro walked past servants lighting up the lamps that lit the corridors. The palace was soon glowing with golden light as the night became darker. Upon approaching the courtesans doorway, he stopped and wondered if he was doing the right thing. His thoughts were, luckily, interrupted.
"Kankuro-san, you honour us with your visit." He turned at the sound of a sultry voice to see a girl with chestnut brown hair bowing to him. As she straightened up, her emerald eyes caught him off guard. "Perhaps I can be the one you are looking for?" She asked with a small smile.
"Miko," Kankuro said and watched her smile fade as she heard the weight of grief in his voice. "I am looking for Ai." Miko lowered her gaze and looked fearful of speaking. "Miko-"
"Are you sure you wouldn't prefer to speak with me?" Miko asked with a bright smile. But there was something behind her smile, Kankuro noticed as he raised an eyebrow at her, something false and fearful.
"Miko, where is Ai?" He asked. With a quick change of face, Miko looked terribly upset.
"She is distraught, beside herself with sadness, she wishes to see no one-"
"Where is Ai?" Kankuro demanded. The way this girl was changing her emotions and her story, it was clear she was lying, covering something up. Miko bit her lip, with a worried frown she beckoned him closer to whisper.
"She is meeting with the Prince." Miko looked ashamedly down at the floor. Kankuro took in a sharp breath, disbelieving of what he was hearing.
"What did you say?" He asked slowly.
"She is young and foolish, please do not be upset with her-"
"Answer me as plainly as I have asked." The shinobi commanded.
"She heard of the prince's return and left immediately for the guest quarters in the palace."
"Why?" Miko blushed and adopted a defeated look as recited the age old fate every courtesan detests.
"Why does any courtesan meet a man of power in private?" Kankuro shook his head as she spoke; it couldn't be. "Not all beautiful faces are innocent ones; Ai is, like all of us, a working girl. Our loyalties are with our Houses and our Houses do not run on love." Miko's eyes filled with tears as Kankuro's breathing began to get faster, he shook his head and clutched at his heart as though it were fit to break. "I am sorry. The Kazekage was a good man." Kankuro could not look at her any longer; it was sickening, devastating. No, he had to see for himself. "I am sorry!" Miko called after Kankuro as he took flight to the guest quarters.
"Ai."
"Your highness." Holding onto an oil lamp, the beautiful dancer bowed to the kind prince. Dressed in the colour of a rose, Ai glittered before him like starlight.
They met in secret in the gardens that were devoted to guests at the palace. With plenty of trees to obscure any view of them, and a fountain to drown out their words. The two appraised each other from a short distance. Ai placed the lamp on the edge of a white stone fountain, before turning to the prince and adjusting her veil. She was so good at being delicate, the prince noticed, from the way she let a few curls of hair stroke her face in the night breeze, to the way she let her gaze linger on the ground before looking up to him.
"Ai." The prince said again and Ai looked up in surprise for the first time Nobutara had spoken, he had sounded formal and princely, this time however, he sounded consoling. Ai's elegant pose left her for a moment as she saw him standing with open arms as though the welcome her home. She walked up to him swiftly and fell into his embrace.
Prince Nobutara who, after days of travelling, was worn out and exhausted, wrapped his arms around the girl and rested his chin on her head. "Everything will be fine," he whispered, "I am here now." Ai clutched onto his robes and slowly became aware of the rising and falling of his chest as he breathed. So calm and welcoming, he made her feel so at peace.
"You know of the Kazekage's fate?" Ai asked quietly.
"There has been no news." Ai sighed; so she and Gaara's siblings were the only ones who knew the truth. "But I am here to assist Sunagakure." Ai moved out of his embrace and he held her at arms length.
"We are glad for it." Her eyes were glittering in the moonlight, her lips glistening, almost, beneath the stars. So delicate and afraid, she looked up at him as though he were her saviour. Wasn't he? The Prince had travelled so far and for such a long time, and yet upon arriving he set aside everything, just to meet with this girl. Did that not mean something? The Prince wondered as he looked down to her and placed a hand on her cheek. Gently, as though tempting a butterfly to land on his fingertip, the Prince brought her back into embrace.
That look in his eye, Ai noticed, that warm, inviting, beckoning look, was so familiar. The glow of his skin reminded her so much of the boy she loved. Would it be so terrible, to feel that way again, if even for a moment? The Prince drew her closer. Gaara, Ai thought as she was brought into the Prince's broad embrace, where are you? In some crazy way, Ai believed for just a second, that she could feel Gaara again in this moment. In this human moment of affection, there was something so similar to him. She closed her eyes and let the prince kiss her.
"Ai!" The Prince exclaimed as she immediately pushed him away. "Do not be frightened, it's me." He moved forward again to hold her but Ai pushed him away, looking shocked. Ai could not explain how she let herself, for even a second, be enchanted by him. It was madness- a foolish trick of the moonlight on his face! It was grief trying to hold on to whatever piece of Gaara it could find. Ai put her fingertips to her lips and wipes them softly. The prince frowned, "explain yourself." Ai gasped a little and looked around as though someone else could help her explain.
"I am sorry," Ai said in between gasps, a tear falling from her eyes. "I do not know what came over me," she said quietly, as though all breath had escaped her body. He pretty face screwed up in confusion as though she really could not understand herself.
"Do not deny me, Ai." With a single sentence, her eye's widened in shock as the world was thrown back into perspective for her. The prince did not have genuine affection for her; he was used to dealing with courtesans. Her wishing to see him at this hour was not a friend wishing to see a friend, he saw it as a transaction. The prince, accustomed to these relationships, may have genuinely like some part of Ai, but it did not mean he saw her for more than a courtesan.
What was she doing here? How had she been so naive? Ai gathered herself and closed her eyes briefly, trying to remember what it was like to actually work as a courtesan. She had very rarely behaved in a 'professional' manner. Stannic to her full heigh, wiping away a tear, her shoulders slumped as though defeated. "Deny you what, your highness?" She asked gently.
"Yourself." Ai let out a small, disbelieving laugh at her circumstances as the prince spoke before turned away from him.
"I'm afraid," she replied as her eyes met with the flame of the oil lamp, "I am not mine to give." The orange flame was flame dancing in the wind, calling to her as though in a hurry to speak with the girl. With a small smile, Ai picked up the lamp once more and turned back to him, her face shining in gold light.
"Oh?" He asked coldly. Ai looked into the lamp.
"I belong to the Kazekage." She answered. "You must ask him for me."
"Who knows when the Kazekage will return." As he spoke, Ai turned away slowly and proceeded to leave the gardens, realising now that there was no hope here.
"Then who knows when I shall be free to be yours."
"You called upon me, Ai," he reminded her, stopping Ai in her tracks. "I do not have to heed the call of a courtesan."
"A courtesan," Ai's voice carried in the wind, back to the prince. "Is a woman who is sold, correct?" The prince shrugged impatiently; what had happened to the flirtatious, carefree girl he once knew?
"I suppose."
"And I have told you, I am not for sale. So I must no longer be a courtesan." The prince looked on at Ai, completely thunderous, completely disbelieving that a woman of her kind could refuse him. "I came to discuss the future of the village with you. If you are unable to agree to my request then I shall take my leave." The prince said nothing. "Goodnight, Prince." As the girl left the gardens, the prince scowled; vanity.
Ai shook her head as she entered the palace once more; she was angry and disappointed in herself. What a fool she had been, to think of the prince as anything other than a customer. And how reckless, how shameful to let her grief get the better of her-
"Kankuro-san!" Ai exclaimed as the two nearly bumped into one another. "How are y…" Ai thought for a moment before raising an eyebrow; "what are you doing in this part of the palace?" She asked gently. Kankuro, whose plain face was still grey with illness, frowned upon seeing her. He seemed to be clammy and shivering, shaking; perhaps the poison was still nestled in his bones.
"I was walking to the library." Kankuro responded, not looking at her. Ai was perplexed; why would he not meet her gaze? In fact, he seemed to be blinking away tears. She had been wanting to speak to him for days but her sorrow had been too overbearing to see one of Gaara's siblings. Even just a quick embrace from Kankuro would make some of the hurt go away but he was acting so bizarre. Even now, as Ai looked him up and down, his shaking seemed to stop, he stared blankly at the lamp in her hands. "You're still holding on to that thing?" He asked in a deep, monotone voice. Ai took a moment before she realised what he was asking.
"Yes. Of cour…" But Kankuro seemed to snigger almost, at the lamp. "Kankuro, what?"
"I will see you shortly." The puppet master interrupted her before walking swiftly past her. Ai took a step back as he almost walked into her. She was left staring after him, wondering what had just happened between them.