Did you ever hear someone try to say a word that was just too darn
big for his tongue? By the smile on the speaker's face and the gleam
in his eye as the word limped off his lips, you knew he was really
proud of it. (To make matters worse, he probably used the word
incorrectly, inappropriately, and maybe even mispronounced it.
Ouch.)
The world perceives people with rich vocabularies to be more
creative, more intelligent. People with larger vocabularies get hired
quicker, promoted faster, and listened to a whole lot more. So big
winners use rich, full words, but they never sound inappropriate.
The phrases slide gracefully off their tongues to enrich their conversation. The words fit. With the care that they choose their tie
or their blouse, big players in life choose words to match their personalities and their points.
The startling good news is that the difference between a
respected vocabulary and a mundane one is only about fifty words!
You don't need much to sound like a big winner. A mere few dozen
wonderful words will give everyone the impression that you have
an original and creative mind.
Acquiring this super vocabulary is easy. You needn't pore over
vocabulary books or listen to tapes of pompous pontificators with
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impossible British accents. You don't need to learn two-dollar
words that your grandmother, if she heard, would wash out of
your mouth with soap.
All you need to do is think of a few tired, overworked words
you use every day—words like smart, nice, pretty, or good. Then
grab a thesaurus or book of synonyms off the shelf. Look up that
common word even you are bored hearing yourself utter every day.
Examine your long list of alternatives.
For example, if you turn to the word smart, you'll find dozens
of synonyms. Some words are colorful and rich like ingenious,
resourceful, adroit, shrewd, and many more. Run down the list and
say each out loud. Which ones fit your personality? Which ones
seem right for you? Try each on like a suit of clothes to see which
feel comfortable. Choose a few favorites and practice saying them
aloud until they become a natural staple of your vocabulary. The
next time you want to compliment someone on being smart, say,
you'll be purring
"Oh, that was so clever of you."
"My how resourceful."
"That was ingenious."
Or maybe, "How astute of you."
And Now, for Men Only
Gentlemen, we women spend a lot of time in front of the mirror
(as if you didn't know). When I was in college, it used to take me
a full fifteen minutes to fix myself up for a date. Every year since,
I've had to add a few minutes. I'm now up to an hour and a half
gussying myself up for an evening out.
Gentlemen, when your wife comes down the staircase all
dolled up for a night out, or you pick a lady up for dinner, what
do you say? If you make no comment except, "Well, are you ready
to go?" how do you think that makes the lady feel?
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My friend Gary is a nice gentleman and he occasionally takes
me to dinner. I met him about twelve years ago, and I'll never forget the first time he arrived on my doorstep for our date. He said,
"Leil, you look great." I adored his reaction!
I saw Gary a month or so later. On my doorstep again, "Leil,
you look great." The precise same words as the first time, but I
still appreciated it.
It's been twelve long years now that this gentleman and I have
been friends. I see him about once every two months, and every
darn time it's the same old comment, "Leil, you look great." (I
think I'll show up one evening in a flannel nightshirt and a mud
pack on my face. I swear Gary will say, "Leil, you look great.")
During my seminars, to help men avoid Gary's mistake, I ask
every male to think of a synonym for pretty or great. Then I bring
up one woman and several men. I ask each to pretend he is her
husband. She has just come down the stairs ready to go out to dinner. I ask each to take her hand and deliver his compliment.
"Darla," one says, "you look elegant."
"Ooh!" Every woman in the room sighs.
"Darla," says another, taking her hand, "you look stunning."
"Ooh!" Every woman in the room swoons.
"Darla," says the third, putting her hand between his, "you
look ravishing."
"Ooooh!" By now every woman in the room has gone limp.
Pay attention men! Words work on us women.
More Unisex Suggestions
Suppose you've been at a party and it was wonderful. Don't tell
the hosts it was wonderful. Everybody says that. Tell them it was
a splendid party, a superb party, an extraordinary party. Hug the
hosts and tell them you had a magnificent time, a remarkable time,
a glorious time.
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The first few times you say a word like glorious, it may not roll
comfortably off your tongue. Yet you have no trouble with the
word wonderful. Hmm, glor-i-ous doesn't have any more syllables
than won-der-ful. Neither does it have any more difficult sounds
to pronounce. Vocabulary is all a matter of familiarity. Use your
new favorite words a few times and, just like breaking in a new
pair of shoes, you'll be very comfortable wearing your glorious new
words.